Making up in Thailand

[David48]

Thai-Western relationships require a lot of compromise, to be sure. There's a steep learning curve. Our cultures vary greatly, so it's necessary to make efforts to understand and accept Thai culture. However, it's also necessary that we insist our Thai partners make efforts to understand and accept ours, too. After all, no one is forcing Thais to enter into relationships with westerners; they do so of their own free will.

Where the Thai-Western Cultural divide tug-of-war I believe also depends on where you live.

Should you both choose to live in Thailand then the onus is more upon the Farang to adapt to his new environment.

It seems that many men here choose this route (to live in Thailand).

If you choose to be an island ... up to you ... but it gets very lonely on that Island.

If, however, you both choose to live in a Western country there is probably more onus on the Lady to adjust to her new surroundings.

Sadly, many ladies don't and they are easy to recognise and certainly ones to avoid.

I consider myself incredibly blessed with my lady as she has excelled in adapting to living in the West as I have done my best to culturally integrate into her Culture without losing the essence of who I am.

.

Edited June 26, 2013 by David48

[David48]

A sin sod only pertains to those guys stupid and desperate enough to pay it.

I consider myself neither stupid nor desperate and a SinSot will be paid to honour the Parents.

It's an important exercise for the Parents to confirm their status in Thai Society.

Now that SinSot will be saved for by both me and the gf working in my country.

This has been made clear to my gf and she accepts this as what will be done.

We look forward to paying that SinSot ... we also look forward to receiving a lot of that money back after the Ceremony.

Remember, every relationship is different ... different from mine ... different from the next guy.

.

[David48]

Total and utter tripe.

<snip>

Beetlejuice ... is this a photo of you and the cheese and kisses?

If not ... what is the reference to your post?

* Nice photo BTW ... she's a pretty lady.

[Scottythai]

Man if you read what you wrote (it was very good btw) you answered your own question so if I may quote it.

" and can't continually bounce back and forth between being modern and traditional when it suites her best "

This will always be the case. Good girls will use it. Bad girls will use it. so forth and so on. wait till one day she mentions sin sod. then life will really go skew wif.

[Cambodger]

Sounds like the relationship is already a stressful one.

Few other things to consider if your going to take this girl on long term or as a wife.

No matter how beautiful and smart she is, the majority of folks back home,friends and family in particular will secretly always view her as some gold digger Thai prostitute who's just after the easy life and a US passport or a mail order bride type.

You'll have zero respect from your friends and work colleges. plus if they ever found out you'd paid a sin-sot you'd really be the biggest loser in town in their eyes. (loss of face farang style)

Harsh i know but its the reality of the country been known as "The biggest brothel in the world". Other countries have this reputation too but with Thailand unfortunately its ten times worse.

I always hated waiting at the boarding gates in airports and feeling your being scrutinised by the other passengers even though there wasn't that much off a age gap or looks gap. Even worse is when its full of old farangs with young good looking Thai girls on their arms, just amplifies the cringe factor.

Some people don't care what others think and if you're one of them congratulations, but to me its just another annoying niggle to add to all the other ones discussed in the previous thread that puts me off anything serious.

Total and utter tripe.

To be honest I think you had better start choosing some different friends who have a higher regard for you and whoever you choose as a wife, and it appears you have some kind of persecution complex.

I met my Thai wife in the States and both sides of my family in the States and the UK, plus all my friends accepted her immediately as a part of the family.

She was often invited to be a bridesmaid at family and friends weddings, many of my cousins took her out with them on shopping trips, she is a God mother to one of my nieces and was highly respected within the company where I worked. I have several cousins married to Thai girls and all the wives are held in high esteem by the families and friends.

As for those people you may know who regard Thailand as the world`s biggest brothel, than it seems you are mixing within the wrong circles and suggest that you disassociate yourself from them.

Obviously the guys who become involved with the females of the under classes of Thai society, those who would not look out of place working in a Pattaya beerbar, are going to attract some comments and disapproving stares, but I can assure you that any nice, decent class of young Thai lady will be treated with high esteem and respect within Western society.

Reality is objective and i can see from the pic that we have a very different interpretation of the world.

Persecution complex you say... Probably the exact opposite.

By the way any pics of you at the wedding in a brightly coloured traditional Thai silk suit? I need another lol

[Scottythai]

A sin sod only pertains to those guys stupid and desperate enough to pay it.

I consider myself neither stupid nor desperate and a SinSot will be paid to honour the Parents.

It's an important exercise for the Parents to confirm their status in Thai Society.

Now that SinSot will be saved for by both me and the gf working in my country.

This has been made clear to my gf and she accepts this as what will be done.

We look forward to paying that SinSot ... we also look forward to receiving a lot of that money back after the Ceremony.

Remember, every relationship is different ... different from mine ... different from the next guy.

.

This is what kills me. The origin og Sin Sod is nothing to the &lt;deleted&gt; it has turned into today. Sinsod if you look at the history was a tradition that was done to honor the mother for the mike she gave to bring up her daughter it was a small amount and done in most private. Not now, it has turned into the Thailand version of who is keeping up with the cost of the Jones's daughter's price. It's a joke and just for show. Lots of rich familys will actually lend money to the would be groom so they cen be seen getting so much infront of friends / Family and even enemys. This is a show a gimic that is done to be one up. The tradition on Sin Sod is lost and now it's all about fake face. Gossip and being spoken highly of is the key goal in this. If it was the old Honored tradition it should have remained as i would have been married by now. But when the one girl who I could have actualy married said her mom wants 5 million in sin sod my reply was don't let the door and your stupid mom's greed hit your arse on the way out.

Simple some guys are happy to pay others are not people scream tradition and culture but most have no F*ing clue on what it was in origin. Life is a laugh when you look at it. So I go back to the old Addage. Why buy the cow when the milk is free?

[kristophon]

Total and utter tripe.

<snip>

Beetlejuice ... is this a photo of you and the cheese and kisses?

post-110219-0-28710800-1372279929.jpg

If not ... what is the reference to your post?

* Nice photo BTW ... she's a pretty lady.

fast forward 20 years.. then lets ave a look at the trophy...

ref OP... theres that word again... 'ambitious'... nothing worse than an ambitious parasite...

Edited June 27, 2013 by kristophon

[kristophon]

chonnys mum...

[kristophon]

again

[kristophon]

And because Culture dictates,they do even more silly things,and Farangs are quite happy denying their own Culture too,it's almost like we don't have one,who ever heard of Sin Sod in Western Countries? tell them back home,and straight away they would say,"I wouldn't buy a women however beautiful and perfect she was"

A sin sod only pertains to those guys stupid and desperate enough to pay it.

I never paid any such thing when I got married to my Thai wife, nor did the many of my friends who have married Thais over the years. If there would have been any demands for money from me at the time, my in-laws would have had their daughter returned to them, pronto. Plenty more fish in the sea.

Farangs can still maintain their own culture in Thailand, but of course keeping in mind that we are guests in a country of another culture, the majority being Thais. So we still have to adapt to the majority around us and for those not able to adapt or compromise, than they will never be happy here.

Personally I love it and enjoy mixing in with the Thais and at the same time being proud of what I am and who I am.

living in a comfort bubble...

if only you could read there minds you might think differently.... (ie. 'when do you think that idiots going to buy us some more whiskey....')

Edited June 27, 2013 by kristophon

[SteeleJoe]

After a period of time you stop seeing your partner as "Thai"She is your friend, lover, compagnion and the colour of her skin and country of origin takes second place.Ofcourse, like in any relationship, compromises are made, but not based on big cultural differences, but on the fact that we all are different!So don't make it more complicated, than it is.

Stop seeing her as a thai ??? That can be the beginning of the end in case the partner has alterior motives. I have done that the last many years but now i know where i made the big mistake. I saw her the way you described this as well of children involved. As well=especially ! Never forget she is thai !! Sorry to write this but it hss been, is, my experience. Again sorry !

The big mistake you made was getting involved with someone who had ulterior motives - I find it rather remarkable that you can't see that.

[chrisinth]

@ OP

Listen to your GF. She's probably right and you're probably stupid.

The question is this -- is she actually worth it?

1. is she the right one for you?

2. do you really love her?

3. is she incredibly sexy?

4. is she worth the sin-sod and the house you may have to buy and the money you may have to pay the mother?

If she is, do it. And be happy. And have a great marriage. And make lots of beautiful babies.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Yesterday I asked my GF to get married. Inevitably the conversation turned to money. It's just how things work here in Asia.

I'm gonna pay. And I'm gonna make it work. I'm older and wiser, now.

Forget the opinions of the schoolboys who claim that everything here in Thailand in plain sailing.

1) She's right for me on a number of levels. We have similar interests, and work histories. She writes, and has even won poetry contests. She has a job similar to the one I held in New York prior to moving here, so I understand her. And since she has a decent position, she's privy to a lot of interesting stories, e.g., corruption.

2) Faced with having to leave her and not wanting to, yes, I can say that I love her.

3) Yes, she's sexy.

4) Don't know how much they'll ask, so I'll have to get back to you if and when. I figure this next year will tell all.

Congratulations and good luck to you both! How long were you together before proposing?

Tom, without being offensive, what I read in your above points are 'work' orientated; work histories, similar jobs, decent positions.

This is a very small part of marriage mate!

IMHO. you need to be looking at how compatible you both are living together, making joint decisions, happy in yourselves with the subject of focus being home life and not work related. Sure, you have a bit of common ground there, but there is a lot more to co-existing.

You, or she do not know how the dice will roll during the coming years/ rest of your lives in your occupations......................

[SteeleJoe]

@ OP

Listen to your GF. She's probably right and you're probably stupid.

The question is this -- is she actually worth it?

1. is she the right one for you?

2. do you really love her?

3. is she incredibly sexy?

4. is she worth the sin-sod and the house you may have to buy and the money you may have to pay the mother?

If she is, do it. And be happy. And have a great marriage. And make lots of beautiful babies.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Yesterday I asked my GF to get married. Inevitably the conversation turned to money. It's just how things work here in Asia.

I'm gonna pay. And I'm gonna make it work. I'm older and wiser, now.

Forget the opinions of the schoolboys who claim that everything here in Thailand in plain sailing.

1) She's right for me on a number of levels. We have similar interests, and work histories. She writes, and has even won poetry contests. She has a job similar to the one I held in New York prior to moving here, so I understand her. And since she has a decent position, she's privy to a lot of interesting stories, e.g., corruption.

2) Faced with having to leave her and not wanting to, yes, I can say that I love her.

3) Yes, she's sexy.

4) Don't know how much they'll ask, so I'll have to get back to you if and when. I figure this next year will tell all.

Congratulations and good luck to you both! How long were you together before proposing?

Tom, without being offensive, what I read in your above points are 'work' orientated; work histories, similar jobs, decent positions.

This is a very small part of marriage mate!

IMHO. you need to be looking at how compatible you both are living together, making joint decisions, happy in yourselves with the subject of focus being home life and not work related. Sure, you have a bit of common ground there, but there is a lot more to co-existing.

You, or she do not know how the dice will roll during the coming years/ rest of your lives in your occupations......................

You make some fine points but he clearly mentioned "similar interests".

And NO ONE knows how the dice will roll during the coming years or the rest of their lives. (When I decided on my wife 20 years ago, neither of us did either - but we seem to have made the right choice for the right reasons...)

[aTomsLife]

@ OP

Listen to your GF. She's probably right and you're probably stupid.

The question is this -- is she actually worth it?

1. is she the right one for you?

2. do you really love her?

3. is she incredibly sexy?

4. is she worth the sin-sod and the house you may have to buy and the money you may have to pay the mother?

If she is, do it. And be happy. And have a great marriage. And make lots of beautiful babies.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Yesterday I asked my GF to get married. Inevitably the conversation turned to money. It's just how things work here in Asia.

I'm gonna pay. And I'm gonna make it work. I'm older and wiser, now.

Forget the opinions of the schoolboys who claim that everything here in Thailand in plain sailing.

1) She's right for me on a number of levels. We have similar interests, and work histories. She writes, and has even won poetry contests. She has a job similar to the one I held in New York prior to moving here, so I understand her. And since she has a decent position, she's privy to a lot of interesting stories, e.g., corruption.

2) Faced with having to leave her and not wanting to, yes, I can say that I love her.

3) Yes, she's sexy.

4) Don't know how much they'll ask, so I'll have to get back to you if and when. I figure this next year will tell all.

Congratulations and good luck to you both! How long were you together before proposing?

Tom, without being offensive, what I read in your above points are 'work' orientated; work histories, similar jobs, decent positions.

This is a very small part of marriage mate!

IMHO. you need to be looking at how compatible you both are living together, making joint decisions, happy in yourselves with the subject of focus being home life and not work related. Sure, you have a bit of common ground there, but there is a lot more to co-existing.

You, or she do not know how the dice will roll during the coming years/ rest of your lives in your occupations......................

Great points, thanks. I've known her but 10 months, so I'm not even remotely close to proposing marriage. As you've highlighted, there's much I don't yet know about the situation. This next year hopefully will tell much more. If we have the same problems going forward as we did during the "courtship" so to speak, I don't see marriage as a practical solution to those problems, despite the cultural implications. At this point I feel little pressure. Simply put, I'm willing to try my best for her and am hoping for the best.

But I'm not getting guilt tripped into marriage, nor should anyone.

Cheers.

[Scottythai]

@ OP

Listen to your GF. She's probably right and you're probably stupid.

The question is this -- is she actually worth it?

1. is she the right one for you?

2. do you really love her?

3. is she incredibly sexy?

4. is she worth the sin-sod and the house you may have to buy and the money you may have to pay the mother?

If she is, do it. And be happy. And have a great marriage. And make lots of beautiful babies.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Yesterday I asked my GF to get married. Inevitably the conversation turned to money. It's just how things work here in Asia.

I'm gonna pay. And I'm gonna make it work. I'm older and wiser, now.

Forget the opinions of the schoolboys who claim that everything here in Thailand in plain sailing.

1) She's right for me on a number of levels. We have similar interests, and work histories. She writes, and has even won poetry contests. She has a job similar to the one I held in New York prior to moving here, so I understand her. And since she has a decent position, she's privy to a lot of interesting stories, e.g., corruption.

2) Faced with having to leave her and not wanting to, yes, I can say that I love her.

3) Yes, she's sexy.

4) Don't know how much they'll ask, so I'll have to get back to you if and when. I figure this next year will tell all.

Congratulations and good luck to you both! How long were you together before proposing?

Tom, without being offensive, what I read in your above points are 'work' orientated; work histories, similar jobs, decent positions.

This is a very small part of marriage mate!

IMHO. you need to be looking at how compatible you both are living together, making joint decisions, happy in yourselves with the subject of focus being home life and not work related. Sure, you have a bit of common ground there, but there is a lot more to co-existing.

You, or she do not know how the dice will roll during the coming years/ rest of your lives in your occupations......................

Great points, thanks. I've known her but 10 months, so I'm not even remotely close to proposing marriage. As you've highlighted, there's much I don't yet know about the situation. This next year hopefully will tell much more. If we have the same problems going forward as we did during the "courtship" so to speak, I don't see marriage as a practical solution to those problems, despite the cultural implications. At this point I feel little pressure. Simply put, I'm willing to try my best for her and am hoping for the best.

But I'm not getting guilt tripped into marriage, nor should anyone.

Cheers.

Stick with the Bolded man. Thats the right way!

[mickjn]

I tell Lady Pla she was suay mak mak when I met her.Now the only difference is 10 kgs,I am feeding her to well.She laughs.I tell her you are still suay mak mak and jai dee to.She comes over are kisses my on the cheek.Biggest fight no yap yap has lasted about 8 minutes

[David48]

A sin sod only pertains to those guys stupid and desperate enough to pay it.

I consider myself neither stupid nor desperate and a SinSot will be paid to honour the Parents.

... Sinsod if you look at the history was a tradition that was done to honor the mother for the mike she gave to bring up her daughter it was a small amount and done in most private. ...

So Scottythai, I just wish to confirm that you consider 'SinSot' as compensation for the mike milk the Mother has given to feed the young child?

Presuming that 'mike ' was meant to be typed as 'milk'?

Just trying to add to my knowledge base.

A good mate of mine here swore blind that it was paid a compensation for taking the 'virginity of the Bride'.

We disagreed and agreed to disagree ... no problems ...

Maybe Scottythai, we might have to come to a similar arrangement.

OP ... feel free to guide us away from the SinSot debate at any time.

.

[BookMan]

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Yesterday I asked my GF to get married. Inevitably the conversation turned to money. It's just how things work here in Asia.

I'm gonna pay. And I'm gonna make it work. I'm older and wiser, now.

Forget the opinions of the schoolboys who claim that everything here in Thailand in plain sailing.

Congratulations on your engagement Andrew,

When the conversation turned to money did you agree to an amount immediately?

I know your GFs family has connections to a famous family of olden times. How does this affect the monetary negotiations?

[aTomsLife]

OP ... feel free to guide us away from the SinSot debate at any time.

.

Indeed. While it's a relevant topic in the context of compromise, there are many threads discussing it already, and moreover it's still just a one time thing. I'd like to hear about issues that require compromise on a more regular and lasting basis.

Particularly, I'm hoping to hear more of how westerners have gone about getting their wives / GFs / partners to compromise and consider western values in the relationship.

[Scottythai]

A sin sod only pertains to those guys stupid and desperate enough to pay it.

I consider myself neither stupid nor desperate and a SinSot will be paid to honour the Parents.

... Sinsod if you look at the history was a tradition that was done to honor the mother for the mike she gave to bring up her daughter it was a small amount and done in most private. ...

So Scottythai, I just wish to confirm that you consider 'SinSot' as compensation for the mike milk the Mother has given to feed the young child?

Presuming that 'mike ' was meant to be typed as 'milk'?

Just trying to add to my knowledge base.

A good mate of mine here swore blind that it was paid a compensation for taking the 'virginity of the Bride'.

We disagreed and agreed to disagree ... no problems ...

Maybe Scottythai, we might have to come to a similar arrangement.

OP ... feel free to guide us away from the SinSot debate at any time.

.

I don't know who Mike was but he got fed to the bride daily. I came kinda close to marraige as I stated so i read on it. The older stuff you find will go into it was the mothers MILK (not Mike) that was being paid for. Then it turned into the fiasco it is today. I would not mind paying a mother a good fair price if it was the old tradition. But I would enver put my money on a table in Baht and Gold so they can feel like they did something good. It was just dumb luck to have a hot daughter that I knockedup err fell inlove with

[Morakot]

I'm hoping to hear more of how westerners have gone about getting their wives / GFs / partners to compromise and consider western values in the relationship.

My wife wants to have pasta pesto and I want to have tom yam soup. Now we eat tom yam pasta.

[SteeleJoe]

Particularly, I'm hoping to hear more of how westerners have gone about getting their wives / GFs / partners to compromise and consider western values in the relationship.

In my case, while I have many times have referenced my country's culture to give some context and explanation for my thinking and or my difficulty with some of hers, it was a matter of my wife considering MY values (which by no means always comport to something that could be described as typically "western")...I haven't ever been married with anyone from a western country but I have to assume the challenge would be the same (in it's essence if not its difficulty): getting someone to understand and appreciate my thinking in area that happen to differ from hers and both of us making the inevitable compromises.

Though surprisingly it often doesn't seem to be for others, for me it was obvious that I had to start by getting involved only with someone who - regardless of her nationality and background - shared my values in all the significant respects and whose own values, when they differed from mine, were ones that I could respect and understand.

[villagefarang]

Particularly, I'm hoping to hear more of how westerners have gone about getting their wives / GFs / partners to compromise and consider western values in the relationship.

An ambitious career girl who is driven to excel and get what she wants out of life, does not strike me as one who will be easy to live with or cajole into compromise. If she is already heading in a particular direction, you may have a chance to steer her just a bit this way or that, as long as it doesn’t mean a complete change of direction.

The art of getting others to do what you want is often intuitive, indirect and far from universally effective. Dictating is fraught with peril and more apt to produce an outcome opposite to what you intend. Like leading a horse to water, all you can do is expose your partner to different ideas and alternatives, whether she drinks it in or not, is entirely up to her.

[aTomsLife]

Particularly, I'm hoping to hear more of how westerners have gone about getting their wives / GFs / partners to compromise and consider western values in the relationship.

In my case, while I have many times have referenced my country's culture to give some context and explanation for my thinking and or my difficulty with some of hers, it was a matter of my wife considering MY values (which by no means always comport to something that could be described as typically "western")...I haven't ever been married with anyone from a western country but I have to assume the challenge would be the same (in it's essence if not its difficulty): getting someone to understand and appreciate my thinking in area that happen to differ from hers and both of us making the inevitable compromises.

Though surprisingly it often doesn't seem to be for others, for me it was obvious that I had to start by getting involved only with someone who - regardless of her nationality and background - shared my values in all the significant respects and whose own values, when they differed from mine, were ones that I could respect and understand.

I agree with all you've shared. Of course 'western values' is a generic phrase, and is better suited to the realm of politics than in a loving relationship. Paradoxically, western values tend to promote individualism, so that which we have in common is also the cause of our many differences.

As you seemed to imply, a lasting relationship is indeed 90%+ about personal compatibility. I guess I'm caught up with the cultural aspect of things because of a lot of the comments I received in the previous thread: It seemed, at times, I was being held to a Thai standard of doing things, and it made little difference to some what my expectations were.

Moreover, I will add that Thais tend to justify and explain a lot of things by saying Thai people do this, Thai people do that. So I've often felt inclined to contextualize things using culture because that's how things are being phrased to me. Your milage may vary, of course.

[AnotherOneAmerican]

Moreover, I will add that Thais tend to justify and explain a lot of things by saying Thai people do this, Thai people do that. So I've often felt inclined to contextualize things using culture because that's how things are being phrased to me. Your milage may vary, of course.

Not to other Thais.

The correct answer (you being a foreigner) is, you want to do things the Thai way, find a Thai husband (and good luck with that at your age).

[aTomsLife]

I agree with everything you're saying.

Just saying in case he's using the word that way, because by our definition and from his first thread it seems they have very different ideas about the practical issues.

About the "equality" issue, while pointing out that the traditional "man runs the house, my way or the highway" style of relationship is easy to achieve here because it is still widely accepted in many parts of Thai society, as an aside I was just acknowledging the fact that many people here think even wanting such a relationship is wrong, as in morally wrong.

You quoted half my sentence. If you look again, I clearly wrote: "As you [steeleJoe] seemed to imply, a lasting relationship is indeed 90%+ about personal compatibility" in agreeance with SJ's post. So in essence I adopted his definition as my own. Personal compatibility in this context, to my understanding, deals with the practicalities of everyday life, not simply romantic compatibility.

[aTomsLife]

Moreover, I will add that Thais tend to justify and explain a lot of things by saying Thai people do this, Thai people do that. So I've often felt inclined to contextualize things using culture because that's how things are being phrased to me. Your milage may vary, of course.

Not to other Thais.

The correct answer (you being a foreigner) is, you want to do things the Thai way, find a Thai husband (and good luck with that at your age).

Agreed. I've hinted as much, reminding her at times (with a big grin, of course) that I'm American. But since I see no reason to discuss marriage as being something imminent, there's been no cause for the hardline approach thus far.

[chrisartist]

"Moreover, I will add that Thais tend to justify and explain a lot of things by saying Thai people do this, Thai people do that. So I've often felt inclined to contextualize things using culture because that's how things are being phrased to me. Your milage may vary, of course. "

Correct responses to people who say "People X do this, People X do that" are as follows:

1) Since when do People X have a monopoly on what is beneficial and/or rational? Especially given that People X's contribution to the sum of knowledge, wisdom and culture to the world tends towards zero.

2) Why do People X always seem to do things that are blindingly stupid and/or unbeneficial?

3) People Y do the other, and I prefer the way People Y do it, for no other reason than that they do it that way.

And when they say "But we are in Thailand", you say "Since when did geographical location bear any causal relation to what is rational and/or beneficial?

[aTomsLife]

"Moreover, I will add that Thais tend to justify and explain a lot of things by saying Thai people do this, Thai people do that. So I've often felt inclined to contextualize things using culture because that's how things are being phrased to me. Your milage may vary, of course. "

Correct responses to people who say "People X do this, People X do that" are as follows:

1) Since when do People X have a monopoly on what is beneficial and/or rational? Especially given that People X's contribution to the sum of knowledge, wisdom and culture to the world tends towards zero.

2) Why do People X always seem to do things that are blindingly stupid and/or unbeneficial?

3) People Y do the other, and I prefer the way People Y do it, for no other reason than that they do it that way.

And when they say "But we are in Thailand", you say "Since when did geographical location bear any causal relation to what is rational and/or beneficial?

Couldn't agree more. And a couple more:

If ever advised to return to one's country of origin:

4) When the tens (maybe hundreds) of thousands of Thais living in western countries return to Thailand, then I'll return home.

If ever made to consider that by arguing with one Thai person, somehow you're insulting all Thai people:

5) I don't have a problem with Thai people -- I like Thai people. I have a problem with you, because you're doing x,y and z.

[villagefarang]

I am a big fan of avoiding problems by making well informed choices rather than trying to fix things after they get screwed up.

For example the time to be asking about the rules of Muay Thai is before you choose to get in the ring. Once you step in the ring, it is a little late to be asking, “Why are you kicking me? We don’t do it that way back home.”

It is always risky to jump into uncharted water before you are ready. Just something to consider, or not.