HeijoshinCool Posted October 17, 2013 Share Posted October 17, 2013 Guess if this thread had had a poll, there wouldn't have been any "yes" votes. So, watcha gonna do, OP? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Card Posted October 17, 2013 Share Posted October 17, 2013 Pay them a visit. That'll be enough. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
how241 Posted October 17, 2013 Share Posted October 17, 2013 Sin Sot...this hasnt come up in a while... But to answer the OP...married twice before, be assured sin sot has already beem paid...so if the outlaws try and stitch you up 3rd time around, I would be running for the hills, they are trying to scam you and they know it by all means by for the wedding/reception....but if the sin sot gambit comes into play seriously consider what your getting into... +1. No need to pay the parents for a 3 marriage of a older lady. Of course, if you have some extra money , it is a easy way to buy your way into the parents hearts. Just give $$ ONLY if you want to . NOT because they ask or you feel you HAVE to. Red Flag if the lady asks you to unless she knows it is 'pocket change' to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuban Posted October 17, 2013 Share Posted October 17, 2013 Guess if this thread had had a poll, there wouldn't have been any "yes" votes. So, watcha gonna do, OP? Now the OP has had an education - if asked for money as part of Thai "tradition" he will know that Thai tradition does not seek money for used goods and would have also sought to have him demonstrate cooking and feet washing. If the later two are omitted it is just about the money. If he is wise he point out that having a "small wife" is also Thai tradition and he is looking forward to spending his money with a fresh young distraction. I feel that the Sin Sod for these situations is a stupidity test that the Thai set for farang. Being smart with your money is seen as a good thing in Thailand - if you can't keep it you are a leaking basket used to carry water = of no use to anyone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sailblue Posted October 17, 2013 Share Posted October 17, 2013 Some years back a falung friend introduced me to a family wanting a falung for their 17 yr old, innocent, at college daughter. Took them all out for dinner and tried to gauge what she was like with no English. She looked pretty good so I told my friends misses I would give it a try. I was told that 50,000 bt was the rate. My friends Thai ( mother-in-law ) family went around to discuss the deal. I was told they want 150,000 and my answer was I was willing to gamble with 50,000 bt but not 150,000 bt. These things can collapse in a week. I suggest that I am not in a hurry, willing to pay for her school or whatever and see her next time I am there, as I go to the area to see my mate. Seems these discussions are supposed to end positively, so the mother takes the 50,000 bt ( not happy about it), and 2 days later we do the budha marriage thing. My girls grandfather helped by going for it, with "look sabai Jai" comments to the mother. Their elder daughter was stuck with a kid to a drunk simpleton Thai guy, this was their motivation to look for a falung. The mother would like to see where she will be so I fly her back to Pattaya as well and she spends a few days with us. All the way to the Udon airport in the local Taxi the mother was spewing to the driver how I should have paid more for a young good looking girl. All ok now, have a beautiful son, wife is ok, moody but ok. And they spent a hunk of the 50,000 bt putting in a falung toilet for when I am up there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ace of Pop Posted October 17, 2013 Share Posted October 17, 2013 Just for the Record,i was Married 8 Years here before i heard about Silly Sod. A Ferang asked me what it was, so i asked Mrs Pop and she smiled and walked away. Later She said, "Met a Ferang with a Bargirl have You.?.." Say No More. From then on i watched em turn up,get scammed,Truck, House, you name it and they get kicked out, even the Smart Arse, i've got a 30Year lease lot leave from being unwelcome once "Er In Doors" says Bugger Off. But still they come, full of Testerone, but Brain Dead. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sirchai Posted October 17, 2013 Share Posted October 17, 2013 Three buffaloes for the elders and one for the black widow. That's you.- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
overherebc Posted October 17, 2013 Share Posted October 17, 2013 Silly Sod was never mentioned when she and me started talking about getting married. In all honesty she earns more than me and the family are not exactly poor. I was the one who brought up he point as we were getting married in the famly house and I ended up putting 250,000 on the plate to conform to custom, she had never been married or had kids, she was in her 40's and I was in my 50's, and it was handed back the next day after everyone had gone home. All the family speak English and the discuusions about it were in fact quite amusing to both sides. I don't know if the fact that some of them are not Bhuddist but RC has any bearing on it but the funniest comments came from them. In fact her elder sister whispered that I could have got a virgin for that much ! I replied that I could get two 'virgins' in Pattaya for that sum. Anyway OP, don't worry about it I won't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bagwan Posted October 17, 2013 Share Posted October 17, 2013 wind up. The op has not responded. So most likely just trolling a fun topic Give him a chance ... if you look at the time of the posting, he could be in a different time zone to you or me. The OP is in another galaxy from me. Ir may be a Thai custom, albeit one that is dying out, but then the OP isn't Thai is he? Counter the suggestion of paying Sin Sot by demanding a dowry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DGIE Posted October 17, 2013 Share Posted October 17, 2013 Don't be get trapped with a racket. Have you not thought you may be the 3rd in her life and there will also be 4th and 5th? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DGIE Posted October 17, 2013 Share Posted October 17, 2013 If you think she is honest and loves you, why is still there is a need of a dowry anyway she was already paid twice before. Maybe you can marry her without paying the dowry. if she insist maybe ask her how much. If she say 100,000 Baht. You can negotiate maybe 5,000?LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nongsangcity Posted October 17, 2013 Share Posted October 17, 2013 Keep your hands in your pocket Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
12DrinkMore Posted October 17, 2013 Share Posted October 17, 2013 As with most things in life, you get what you pay for.... Cheap imitations always break soon Expensive stuff breaks too. But the unanswerable question is whether the OP is getting a cheap imitation, or just the Bride of the Day, or the perfect Wife for Life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigbamboo Posted October 17, 2013 Share Posted October 17, 2013 (edited) Sin Sot...this hasnt come up in a while... But to answer the OP...married twice before, be assured sin sot has already beem paid...so if the outlaws try and stitch you up 3rd time around, I would be running for the hills, they are trying to scam you and they know it by all means by for the wedding/reception....but if the sin sot gambit comes into play seriously consider what your getting into... Sound advice. There's also a fair chance she inherited from her European husband's will too so unless the family is looking for a final pay day money shouldn't be an issue. If it is then think on. Hopefully it will be third time lucky...... for you both. Edited October 17, 2013 by bigbamboo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
transam Posted October 17, 2013 Share Posted October 17, 2013 OP's perspective ma & pa...................... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pui Posted October 17, 2013 Share Posted October 17, 2013 Talk to your girlfriend and see what sort of figure she has in mind. Some amount might be a good token gesture. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
transam Posted October 17, 2013 Share Posted October 17, 2013 Talk to your girlfriend and see what sort of figure she has in mind. Some amount might be a good token gesture. No it wont. It will be the start of a financial one way street. The lady knows, ma & pa knows, the extended family knows. One must start off being in control, THEN, the OP will find out some stuff. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ulic Posted October 17, 2013 Share Posted October 17, 2013 (edited) There's an insane amount of ridiculous advice in this thread. OP lets start with where in Thailand is she from? From my experience in Issan very close to Lao border, if there is a wedding ceremony, sinsod is always paid, as in 100% of the time. Parents with male children, and I'm talking poor farmers and the ones not addicted to lottery but rather good parents, actually budget for this over their sons childhood as they are the ones that will someday pay it. Now, the parents are not really paying for it second and third times. And likewise, many of the ceremonies for someone who has already had a large one are smaller and sinsod is less too. But, if there is a ceremony, there is always sinsod. People with no stake involved discuss and talk about it too. As for the expectations. Of course someone who makes more is sort of expected to pay more. It similar to the whole an engagement ring should cost 1 month salary in Western culture as opposed to it should cost an exact amount. But some other points to understand. Sure there are many scams. And yes it is done different in other areas. Only you can answer how much to pay, is it a scam, what's appropriate in her culture etc. If that doesn't work discuss whatever is appropriate in yours. Maybe you would rather buy her a diamond costing 1 month salary or whatever it is that fits. I have news. With a massive multi year marketing campaign by De Beers that one month has been pushed to three. That is also gross pay not take home. At least in the US & Canada. Look at the bottom of any Women's magazine that has a diamond engagement ring advertisement. They are also big on diamond push presents. (push present is the gift you give your wife after she pushes your child out her vagina) Edited October 17, 2013 by Ulic 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kannot Posted October 17, 2013 Share Posted October 17, 2013 Yeah "pay em a visit" duty done !! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sirchai Posted October 17, 2013 Share Posted October 17, 2013 Talk to your girlfriend and see what sort of figure she has in mind. Some amount might be a good token gesture. No it wont. It will be the start of a financial one way street. The lady knows, ma & pa knows, the extended family knows. One must start off being in control, THEN, the OP will find out some stuff. The OP might be so lucky to have a game addicted gf, who spends most of his money in a casino. While she'd promised to look after the sick buffaloes.- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sirchai Posted October 17, 2013 Share Posted October 17, 2013 (edited) There's an insane amount of ridiculous advice in this thread. OP lets start with where in Thailand is she from? From my experience in Issan very close to Lao border, if there is a wedding ceremony, sinsod is always paid, as in 100% of the time. Parents with male children, and I'm talking poor farmers and the ones not addicted to lottery but rather good parents, actually budget for this over their sons childhood as they are the ones that will someday pay it. Now, the parents are not really paying for it second and third times. And likewise, many of the ceremonies for someone who has already had a large one are smaller and sinsod is less too. But, if there is a ceremony, there is always sinsod. People with no stake involved discuss and talk about it too. As for the expectations. Of course someone who makes more is sort of expected to pay more. It similar to the whole an engagement ring should cost 1 month salary in Western culture as opposed to it should cost an exact amount. But some other points to understand. Sure there are many scams. And yes it is done different in other areas. Only you can answer how much to pay, is it a scam, what's appropriate in her culture etc. If that doesn't work discuss whatever is appropriate in yours. Maybe you would rather buy her a diamond costing 1 month salary or whatever it is that fits. I have news. With a massive multi year marketing campaign by De Beers that one month has been pushed to three. That is also gross pay not take home. At least in the US & Canada. Look at the bottom of any Women's magazine that has a diamond engagement ring advertisement. They are also big on diamond push presents. (push present is the gift you give your wife after she pushes your child out her vagina) There's various gossip that many have a Thai man for the "pushing one." Edited October 17, 2013 by sirchai Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wprime Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 You don't have to pay any sin sot for her, but you may wish to as it will bring her dignity - she's damaged goods so she needs all the dignity she can get. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rotary Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 Just say NO to Sin Sod. Ha ha 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ozyjon Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 What a scam, sin sot is not part of the Thailand culture (research it like i did) it is a recent con that many people bend over for,, just ask a (normal) Thai, not a movie star.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zeichen Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 Perhaps it is just me but I find sailblue's story repulsive. Parents forcing their under age children into marriage to generate money is absolutely disgusting. That is a large step from building a relationship and commiting to the family by offering them a dowry. I usually equate it to buying a diamond ring. I really love hearing that the price is dependant on the gilrs education, virginity etc. That is the most ridiculous western understanding. Especially since the original determination couldn't have been based on that because historically women were all expected to be virgins. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Khutan Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 For me, its about giving your future wife face and making her feel good in front of the village. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
transam Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 For me, its about giving your future wife face and making her feel good in front of the village. Cough up then. Will you marry me. .................... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dannyshin Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 (edited) Sin Sot...this hasnt come up in a while... But to answer the OP...married twice before, be assured sin sot has already beem paid...so if the outlaws try and stitch you up 3rd time around, I would be running for the hills, they are trying to scam you and they know it by all means by for the wedding/reception....but if the sin sot gambit comes into play seriously consider what your getting into... hi guys my ex wife was not a bar girl but she is educated woman and nurse at hospital. i paid her sin sod 200,000 bahts plus gold and other expenses 100,000 but she dumped me for another old man around 60 within just 11 months. by that time she juiced my more than half million bahts. it is just like i financed for her pick up truck. She is 41 and im 44 now. and i was her no.3 husband. Thai women are all same Edited April 9, 2014 by dannyshin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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