Why do Thais watch me and gossip so much?

[Costas2008]

JSixpack, on 15 Dec 2013 - 14:57, said:

Quote

Not to mention the first day of moving here, one of the shop workers asked how much I paid for rent. I basically told her in clear words to mind her own business.

That was quite rude of you when you might have had a pleasant interaction w/ the worker.

It's standard Asian culture to ask you how much you pay for things. Even Japanese, most polite people in the world, do that. They're shocked when you tell them that back in the West it'd be bad manners.

You must be Fresh Off The Boat w/ much to learn. Chill and learn w/o all the provincial righteousness.

To my life.......I can't understand why is it sooooooo bad in the west to ask how much rent are you paying!!!!!!

I do come from the west and never encountered that problem in any of the countries I have been.

Saying that.......May be......only in England!!!!!!!

[arminbkk]

"Last week I brought a female guest over mid day for a few hours. One of the restaurant shop workers just had to mention it to my girlfriend the next day."

"I don't care…I am only asking why they care so much. Sure, I'm happy here but next time I'll just use a short time hotel…its not worth the aggravation to try and save 350 baht."

So the OP got caught cheating on his gf because a neighbor ratted on him and now he wonders why Thais gossip about him.....more precisely, Thais gossipping about a guy

that cheated on his gf.

Yeah OP....don't try to save 350 baht.

And OP, regards Thais that ask unwanted questions....just smile and give untruthful answers.

[transam]

JSixpack, on 15 Dec 2013 - 14:57, said:

Quote

Not to mention the first day of moving here, one of the shop workers asked how much I paid for rent. I basically told her in clear words to mind her own business.

That was quite rude of you when you might have had a pleasant interaction w/ the worker.

It's standard Asian culture to ask you how much you pay for things. Even Japanese, most polite people in the world, do that. They're shocked when you tell them that back in the West it'd be bad manners.

You must be Fresh Off The Boat w/ much to learn. Chill and learn w/o all the provincial righteousness.

To my life.......I can't understand why is it sooooooo bad in the west to ask how much rent are you paying!!!!!!

I do come from the west and never encountered that problem in any of the countries I have been.

Saying that.......May be......only in England!!!!!!!

Expand on your England experience.

[Barney R]

And you think it is only Thai people that gossip about either strangers or foreigners that have moved into their district ????? I think it is the same all over the world people are just curious . No big deal if you are so worried move to the Gibson desert in Australia I am sure you will not be bothered there . I wonder why you are so paranoid ?...... Probably a better question

[harryfrompattaya]

I think you just brought your social status down a few levels

Compared to whom? Maybe the people he mentioned in the story??

Ahhh ahhha sometime you guys really make me laugh me so hard, thanks

The people who ask and talk about him are Hi So fruit pickers

[tomta20012]

JSixpack, on 15 Dec 2013 - 14:57, said:

Quote

Not to mention the first day of moving here, one of the shop workers asked how much I paid for rent. I basically told her in clear words to mind her own business.

That was quite rude of you when you might have had a pleasant interaction w/ the worker.

It's standard Asian culture to ask you how much you pay for things. Even Japanese, most polite people in the world, do that. They're shocked when you tell them that back in the West it'd be bad manners.

You must be Fresh Off The Boat w/ much to learn. Chill and learn w/o all the provincial righteousness.

To my life.......I can't understand why is it sooooooo bad in the west to ask how much rent are you paying!!!!!!

I do come from the west and never encountered that problem in any of the countries I have been.

Saying that.......May be......only in England!!!!!!!

Im a westerner but since I was 18 I have been with japanese people, I consider my self japanese on the inside, me and my best friend, a japanese born australian, we often bitch about japanese mums.

we often talk about making a youtube video dipicting a real japanese mum.

as bad as the jap mums can be, I truly despise my western family, I wont talk to them any more.

Snapping at a thai for asking how much rent you pay reminds me of my sister.

[Torrens54]

Hi "whereyoustay",

Gossip is not confined to Thais and Thailand, you'll find it everywhere.

Many years ago in Australia while I was working on a TV current affairs show (no pun intended) the one hour weekly programme went to air on a Tuesday night and every Wednesday, we'd all have a long lunch at a pub around the corner. Quite often other colleagues would join our crew and a good time was had by all.

One particular Wednesday, only the Weather Girl and I turned-up for lunch. A few days later, the local "TV Rag Mag" came out complete with "File Pictures" of the lady and me under a headline that said: " Reporter and Weather Girl getting Cozy over lunch."

My then wife was besieged with telephone calls from her "supposed friends," all full of "sympathy" because I was OBVIOUSLY having an Affair with the "Weather Girl."

In truth, we were NOT having an affair but the assumption was that, " if they have lunch together, they MUST be on-together" so you see, GOSSIPS abound all over the world.

[TechnikaIII]

I think you just brought your social status down a few levels

Rather, I gather it has been low status to start with, and bringing the other woman home has simply revealed it.

[norrona]

haven't read the whole thread but get the gist....the thing is they will tell your gf/wife if you are cheating on them and take great pleasure from it as it makes them feel superior about their mostly sorry lives that are full of what ifs and regrets....

but they wouldn't tell you if your gf/wife was shagging about behind your back...or plotting to have you executed for monetary gain.

you will never be accepted by these people....simply tolerated

[JHenry]

What they think is not important. What is important is what you think they think.

[technologybytes]

If you take girls back home home in the afternoons you will expect gossip anywhere, not just Thailand.

Regarding the questions about your rent: Thai people do not mean any offense when they ask you questions like that, it's actually very rude to just tell them to mind their own business.. if you want to keep it secret just laugh and say "too much" or something like that.

If you are going to live in Thailand and be happy here you need to relax a bit and go with the flow.

[Traxster]

Jeez 'whereustay'....

if you don't like it here.........

sod off !

[MarkAndrewSmith]

Yeah, you messed up. I think if you're single and not staying there for too long, it would be okay to bring girls back. But they'd gossip to any girls in the neighborhood, and when the time came for one that you liked to come to your place, she'd get all the gossip about the other girls.

Some girlfriends also will give you permission, just as long as you don't bring them home, or they don't know about it.

With the GF it's not good and you lose face, for yourself and for her.

People will gossip all the time and they gossip about everyone. Food Sellers don't have anything better to do and they talk to everyone all day about anything and everything.

[GBK]

You said sorry and that was it?? You must be worth a good amount of Euros for her not to dispose of you immediately.

[JamesRob]

I don't care…I am only asking why they care so much. Sure, I'm happy here but next time I'll just use a short time hotel…its not worth the aggravation to try and save 350 baht.

Not that i do ,but to be honest if i was taking a hooker out i would have more respect than to bring her to the home i share with my wife or girlfriend ,to add to that i would never ever bring a hooker to my home as you do not know what they may do later.

Find someone you will be happy with in a relationship then you wont have to take a hooker home and shit on your own doorstep and make problems for yourself.

Simple enit?

[FiftyTwo]

I don't careI am only asking why they care so much. Sure, I'm happy here but next time I'll just use a short time hotelits not worth the aggravation to try and save 350 baht.

Not that i do ,but to be honest if i was taking a hooker out i would have more respect than to bring her to the home i share with my wife or girlfriend ,to add to that i would never ever bring a hooker to my home as you do not know what they may do later.

Find someone you will be happy with in a relationship then you wont have to take a hooker home and shit on your own doorstep and make problems for yourself.

Simple enit?

Avoiding short-time encounters is almost impossible in Thailand, no matter what the quality of your gf or wife.

Not to forget your gf or wife will also be participating in similar encounters of her own.

If you lived here you would understand that.

However, taking them into your home is just plain silly.

[Antonioni]

I don't care…I am only asking why they care so much. Sure, I'm happy here but next time I'll just use a short time hotel…its not worth the aggravation to try and save 350 baht.

Be very careful which short time hotel you choose...You may just meet your girlfriend on her way out after a short time too...

[siamjimi]

Different people, different culture, different attitudes to many things. Wouldnt life be boring if we all lived and did exactly the same thing.

Thailand is different for many reasons, thats why we love it, thats why many have chosen to call it home.

Dont judge, just enjoy and if the small things are so upsetting for you then maybe you have bigger things to be concerned about.

I agree with you somewhat Charlie - however consider this - Thai’s inherently gossip excessively and it results in just about everyone knowing your business. I was broken into 3 times simply due to the interworking’s and gossiping of maids and others gossiping about my comings and goings so openly that anyone within ear shot knew whether I just went to Big C or if I was going to Bangkok or otherwise and how many days I would be gone.

That’s total BS in my books. I never let my Farang wife gossip and I certainly do not let my Thai wife gossip either.

My advice to anyone is keep totally to yourself and do not make your comings and goings obvious or have your misses gossiping along with them. It’s almost as if they try to "Out Gossip" each other with bigger and more important information and it sometimes at the expense of others such as was my multiple break-in’s. As soon as I did what was necessary to counteract such information the break-in’s stopped entirely.

[JaiLai]

Jeez 'whereustay'....

if you don't like it here.........

sod off !

It's as simple as that is it?

I like it here ( sort of ) it's just the false people and mickey mouse 'culture' i cannot stand.

The majority of Thais are rude horrible people however there are a few genuine ones out there - not many tho!

People that have been here for a longer period of time would i am sure agree and say that this country is nothing like it used to be when they first came BUT their life is here and 'sodding off' is unfortunately not an option. Perhaps it's not only the country that has change but the people that have been here a while have changed too ( like myself ) - i am in no doubt this is part of the reason for my dislikes for so many things here now.

[phantomfiddler]

I had that problem once, until I realised my flies were open

[Ghostnigel]

Your name wouldn't be Jerry Fletcher (Mel Gibson) by any chance? Conspiracy Theory... No, it cant be, because you are more paranoid than him....let it go, they are probably envious of you, that's all. Have a good Christmas... I'll be watching you !!

[menorah]

I don't care…I am only asking why they care so much. Sure, I'm happy here but next time I'll just use a short time hotel…its not worth the aggravation to try and save 350 baht.

perhaps your girl friend is a really 'nice person', respected by her new neighbours, to the extent they would like to see her with a similarly 'nice guy' as opposed to a 'run of the mill' Lothario.

Contempt is about as bad as it gets in any relationship, and f*****g a 'tart' in the 'nuptual sack' is the ultimate in contemptuous behaviour.

[silent]

May be they are CIA or KGB or MI6 agents, be careful what you post, they might be monitoring your computer as well

spies.jpg

shush your mouth

[Ghostnigel]

WHY?

Because, in Thailand, you don't take unaccompanied girls back to where you live.

If you do, they will talk about it until you move somewhere else.

Every girlfriend you ever have will be informed, the moment they speak to a local.

"watch out, this guy brings girls home"

PS

Love hotels usually charge 130bht/hr.

So people have told eh?... Wink wink.

[jimBaaaa]

Give them a good old english windmill and spend 25yrs behind bars to think about what a silly boy you have been. Don't you have a mosquito bite?

[Shancloudy]

Actually girls are gossiping all the time. Whatever nationality they are. Usually we talk about the looks of the man.

[HerbalEd]

I don't care…I am only asking why they care so much. Sure, I'm happy here but next time I'll just use a short time hotel…its not worth the aggravation to try and save 350 baht.

You don't care?? Your post certainly seems to say you very much care. Otherwise why did you pose the question in the first place.

[transam]

Actually girls are gossiping all the time. Whatever nationality they are. Usually we talk about the looks of the man.

How true, I get fed up with it................................ ...............................

[saroq]

I don't care…I am only asking why they care so much. Sure, I'm happy here but next time I'll just use a short time hotel…its not worth the aggravation to try and save 350 baht.

Not that i do ,but to be honest if i was taking a hooker out i would have more respect than to bring her to the home i share with my wife or girlfriend ,to add to that i would never ever bring a hooker to my home as you do not know what they may do later.

Not to mention having more common sense than to bring a hooker back to the house you share with your girlfriend. What did you think was going to happen? If you were back home would you bring a hooker back to your home in the burbs? Would you be surprised if a neighbor mentioned it to your wife/girlfriend if you did this?

Edited December 16, 2013 by saroq

[kiouma]

This is a different culture and you better get used to it or you will have a hard time here. The thai people are very curious about a lot of things and the longer you live here, there more you get use to it. I have lived here 10 years now - and may I add enjoyed more or less every minute of it - and I will rather have curious thai people around me, than "cold couldn't care less " european people.

The things that offends you out here, is the kind of things that I like about Thailand and one of the reasons for me living here.

And last but not least ................to bring a girl back to the place that you share with you girlfriend ..............................I guess that says a lot !