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Posted

This is Thai culture....welcome to Thailand.

Sinsod is required for an engagement? I thought that was given at the wedding.

Anyway, here's to hoping the OP's a troll.

You para phrased and cherry picked words, I didn't state that sin-sod was due at the time of an engagement, shame on you!

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Posted

This is Thai culture....welcome to Thailand.

Sinsod is required for an engagement? I thought that was given at the wedding.

Anyway, here's to hoping the OP's a troll.

You para phrased and cherry picked words, I didn't state that sin-sod was due at the time of an engagement, shame on you!

Such outrage. I didn't mean to imply you said that, rather meant to have you reconsider the OP's situation before flippantly telling him this is Thai culture. Don't feel like perusing his post again, though I only recall reading that they're engaged, not married. Despite the fact he's already given the family sinsod.

If indeed that's the case, how exactly does this fit in with Thai culture? Did you mean treating foreigners like ATM machines is Thai culture, or the way the OP's relationship has so far unfolded with his "fiancee/wife"?

Edit: Wait a tick. Why are you responding to my reply to "chuang's" post? Have two accounts here, do you? wacko.png

  • Like 2
Posted

run for the hills do you actually think any Thai guy would pay this kind of money? in fact why can she not get a thai guy? because she is older with a kid and he knows it will cost him a lot of money... don't be a <deleted> idiot...

  • Like 2
Posted

OP is a troll until he starts to reply to all the good advice he gets here.

I would pay 100k maximum and then no more money , its very simple, you must be in control of your marriage, not the family .

  • Like 2
Posted

This is Thai culture....welcome to Thailand.

Sinsod is required for an engagement? I thought that was given at the wedding.

Anyway, here's to hoping the OP's a troll.

You para phrased and cherry picked words, I didn't state that sin-sod was due at the time of an engagement, shame on you!

Such outrage. I didn't mean to imply you said that, rather meant to have you reconsider the OP's situation before flippantly telling him this is Thai culture. Don't feel like perusing his post again, though I only recall reading that they're engaged, not married. Despite the fact he's already given the family sinsod.

If indeed that's the case, how exactly does this fit in with Thai culture? Did you mean treating foreigners like ATM machines is Thai culture, or the way the OP's relationship has so far unfolded with his "fiancee/wife"?

Edit: Wait a tick. Why are you responding to my reply to "chuang's" post? Have two accounts here, do you? wacko.png

My apologies that I misread the name, indeed I responded out of turn. But no, I only have a single account on TV although I do know many that have dual names or new names following banishment, it's the permitted new world order, apparently!

  • Like 1
Posted

As a member here once commented to me you should pay family members for work the same as anyone else.....or you risk breaking the chain of profit....and therein ruining your business.

Wise words as usual from this sage....

Posted

Tell her you have no money left , and lets see what happens next. That will give you an answer. Do not marry her , test the waters first . You are not the only one to ask members about this topic and maybe one day you will telling someone what to do in your same situation.

  • Like 1
Posted

I feel like I'm being gold dug but when we talk I feel she is sincere? Sent from my SCH-I535 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

You are being 'gold dug'.

Since when are there only a couple of people at the village wedding? This family with its business that seems to be so good would invite half the population of Thailand. There would be feasting, drinking of whiskey, gambling, dancing, singing, some drunken violence, a wedding night in the sack with your new 'wife'.

wub.png of money is at the heart of this. That is why there were only a couple of 'witnesses'. A very deniable 'wedding'.

OP, you cannot be serious. If you are, you are deep in the sh*t.

Have you shagged made love to her yet?

Out in the boonies you can have sex with a woman for <500 Baht for the night. 3,500 a week and 7 different women. Under 15,000 Baht for 31 different women per month. blink.png Makes this a very expensive shag woman. laugh.png

Posted

Tell her you have no money left , and lets see what happens next. That will give you an answer. Do not marry her , test the waters first . You are not the only one to ask members about this topic and maybe one day you will telling someone what to do in your same situation.

Posted

OP clearly you have found a Gem, I think you worry too much & should cut out the middle man & give your new wife to be your 4 digit card number to save any loss of face in the future, all the best on a long & lasting marriage...rolleyes.gif

  • Like 1
Posted

OP, I'm sorry pal but what an earth are you doing? You've met a girl online then the next minute you're giving her and every other Tom, Dick and Harry in her family money and gold at every corner.

If you met a girl in your native country would you give in to her demands of gold and money and paying from day trips out all time, I bet you wouldn't, so why do it in Thailand of all places???

Screw traditions! Why or why is it that soooo many blokes fall into problems like this. It's insane!! You're not the first and you won't be the last.

Hope you manage to work things out and for god sake stop buying gold and keep your money in your pocket, if she really loves you gold and money aren't important, right?

Oh and just to add - for the chance that this is a troll post - it's a decent read, a solid 8/10.

  • Like 2
Posted

Suggest you ask a trusted Thai friend to act as intermediary between you and the gf and her family, to negotiate the dowry and exactly what you are paying for. I've never heard of payment for engagement and separately for marriage - the money is usually handed over in cash to the mother on the Thai traditional wedding day.

Get a list of your assets in Thailand notarized in Thai and give it to the Amphur when registering the marriage. Only assets accumulated after marriage count towards a divorce settlement.

That's what I did and it worked out fine in the end - some 19 years ago and still going !!

  • Like 2
Posted

My gf gave me 2000 Baht the other day and sent me off to have a few beers for a couple of days.

The money is fast running out though....what should I do?

Mine use to do the same, only I have found later that she was making sure I'll be out

of sight when she was cavorting with the neighbor...

Posted

"25 year old virgin doctor = 5M"

you clearly know nothing about Thai culture.

Actually Sinsod is more to do with the education of the parents and not the child. The value is based on reputation more than education. Someone with a well known family name will have to show more than someone from a farmer family.

I wish foreigners would stop thinking that virginity has anything to do with sin sod. To a parent all their children are virgins unless they actually have children, so they wouldn't be so crass to discuss such a thing as a part of a sin sod negotiaton.

Some factors that do raise sin sod, the man is previously divorced, foreigners that don't have a connection to Thailand other than holidays. The foreigner seems to be a player, much older looking for submissive wife, parents of bride and groom have never met or come from different social/economic backgrounds.

One requirement for my marriage was that my inlaws meet my parents before the marriage.

For those that talk so negatively against sin sod and state that it isn't your custom, do you buy a diamond engagement ring worth 5-10k dollars which is expected from you from western wives? If not it isn't about customs/traditions it is about you being a cheap skate.

  • Like 1
Posted
To a parent all their children are virgins unless they actually have children, so they wouldn't be so crass to discuss such a thing as a part of a sin sod negotiaton.

Love your statement smile.png This means I am still a virgin, as I am never married and have no children giggle.gif

It also means that I am not lying in any way, when I tell a girl:"I virgin with you, for sure"

Nobody would believe that I am a virgin, not even my 86 year old momcheesy.gif

To OP: Classical story; do your research; pay what you can loose if you must! Whatever ur decision: Good Luck whistling.gif

Posted

If you are for real.....you are a muppet! You are being played like a fool!

You honestly believe all the crap you have been fed?

  • Like 1
Posted

You said you only have 6 weeks here so why are you jumping in boots and all .It appears she and her parents are pushing you in also , I think you should think about what is actually going down here , there seems to be the money and gold is more importatnt and you have'nt got your hands on the goods as yet.

I also think she is playing you to get a farang husband .Take her to your hotel and get to know her better.

As for the dowry 5 million is over the top for a low to middle class family . My wife s family accepted 300,000 plus gold but they are well off and they gave us a house to live in and gave the dowry plus back the next day.

  • Like 1
Posted

After a certain age there is no reason to blow money on Thai families. Walk away, plenty who will not insist on this.

The obsession some Thais have for making their parents rich, " for giving them life" means they will justify doing anything to a Farang if a result is achieved.

Is this post is serious? I doubt, as seen too many like this.

  • Like 1
Posted

Cut your losses and get out now.

80K plus a few zoo tickets is small money compared with what you will lose in the future if you continue along with this relationship.

There are plenty of less mercenary women about - why get involved with one that sees you as a meal ticket for her and her family.

As for getting no time alone - Hogwash.

She's very likely made a promise to a Thai boyfriend (that was introduced as a relative) that she will not do the naughty with this Farang.

agreed

  • Like 2
Posted

Without going through all the posts, I suggest you find and read the book "Thailand Fever". It's a day read as one half is in English and the other half in Thai. Sure you'll find numerous references within that mirror your experiences to date and to better assimilate what has, is, and likely will be happening in the relationship, should it continue.

All the best....,

  • Like 1
Posted

Buy and read Thailad Fever. If you have not been sleeping with "A" then who are you getting frisky with. Soapy massage? It is a known fact that the western man will drop dead if they do not copulate at least twice a week after age 18. Good luck .....

  • Like 2
Posted

If you spent some of your internet time researching Thailand Culture BEFORE you decided to go on a social network site to meet your Bride, you may have found yourself in a different position ..... Look before you leap !! .... ... CHOKDEE ... Now over to the synpathisers ..... coffee1.gif

I did research but never imagined it would be taken to this proportion! lol

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