Internet date goes bad

[ttthailand]

I am married and settled down, so no more playing around... But back in my single days , there were occasions where I have had "relations"... An I did not assume these girls were prostitutes...

Also this whole good girl / bad girl thing reminds me of a conversation with one of my friends (who was a girl) about 10 years ago before moving to Thailand.

We were talking about good girls and bad girls and my friend asked me if I would ever consider dating or marrying a girl that I had had sex with on the first date

As she seemed to think that this was a deal breaker... What I told her was it doesn't make any difference at all, which surprised her

But the reality is... If you have sex with someone on the first date it does not make them good or bad, you are just having sex with a stranger...

If you later break up or decide not to date them, it is not because you had sex with them on the first date... It is because you start to get to know them, you realize "she is not the one".... It is just so happens that if you had sex on the first date, it means that you had sex with them before you realized this ....

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The OP should at least chat with them long enough to know if they are selling something or not.

As far as sleeping on first date. Lets face it, if she is hot you give it your best shot and hope for a little fun. That being said I do wonder about the girls I do sleep with on first date and if this is their normal night out. It sounds a little hypocritical but a girl who holds back for a few dates I look at with more respect and when it happens it is normally better.

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[RecklessRon]

"According to my system of ethics, there is nothing immoral about" also... "And IMO neither do the beliefs of mainstream society" - wym

Ethics is NOT a synonym for morals and morals ARE the beliefs of mainstream society by definition.

I think we also disagree on the meaning of semantics so I'll stop here!

Edited February 1, 2014 by RecklessRon

[metisdead]

An inflammatory post and reply has been removed.

[harryfrompattaya]

I'm the OP and I'm looking for love. I don't want to waste time getting to know a woman only to find out we're not sexually compatible/no chemistry or she has hangups about sex (pain). So to some degree, I'd prefer having sex on day 1. Like others have mentioned, most dates with Thai women end up in bed and this is women from all walks of life and income/education levels.

Given the dating sites asks candidates to indicate what they are looking for: friendship, marriage, etc. I think it's nervy of any woman to write she wants a husband and (without uttering a word prior about payment), she turns around asking for payment later. It's cheeky and not welcomed. Not about being a scammer or cheap charlie or rape. It's about what's right or wrong. To then try forcing her way back into my condo afterwards was uncessary and I used just the right amount of force as I hope my family would use if an intruder tried to do the same.

You might be right

But do this long enough and one of your dates shall get you killed

This one could be the one

I

[wym]

"According to my system of ethics, there is nothing immoral about" also... "And IMO neither do the beliefs of mainstream society" - wym

Ethics is NOT a synonym for morals and morals ARE the beliefs of mainstream society by definition.

I think we also disagree on the meaning of semantics so I'll stop here!

Show me.

My interpretation is that morality is the set of beliefs judgment as to what's proper behaviour.

Ethics is the more abstract philosophical system behind it, whether it's the conventional one or from somewhere else.

So I could say my morality derives mostly from the ethics of the Stoics, or the Spartan one, or the Athenian civic model, etc.

Your morality is the result of your ethics.

Whether or not it is mainstream wrt whatever culture/subculture you choose to live in is immaterial.

This is in completely agreement with the source given above.

As I said, if you disagree, find a source and show me where it says anything disapproved of by mainstream society is "immoral".

[HardenedSoul]

It seems we still disagree about the semantics.

According to my system of ethics, there is nothing immoral about someone engaging in whatever sexual practices he likes with however many and whomever he prefers as often as he likes, as long as everyone is consenting.

The issues of stability for business or whatever purposes, or maturity or armchair psych etc all have nothing to do IMO with morality or ethics.

And IMO neither do the beliefs of mainstream society whether here or back home, each of us are responsible for drawing our lines where we choose for our own behavior, and don't have anything to say about that of others unless it causes us harm.

Your morals - when posting under older, banned usernames - have been called into question on too many occasions to remember . . . and for bloody good reason.

[TheUsualGarbage]

It seems we still disagree about the semantics.

According to my system of ethics, there is nothing immoral about someone engaging in whatever sexual practices he likes with however many and whomever he prefers as often as he likes, as long as everyone is consenting.

The issues of stability for business or whatever purposes, or maturity or armchair psych etc all have nothing to do IMO with morality or ethics.

And IMO neither do the beliefs of mainstream society whether here or back home, each of us are responsible for drawing our lines where we choose for our own behavior, and don't have anything to say about that of others unless it causes us harm.

Your morals - when posting under older, banned usernames - have been called into question on too many occasions to remember . . . and for bloody good reason.

Yes.

My earlier comment was removed, but I think we all know about Johnny's finishing school.

[neilyboy]

i have meet a girl online from isian and she has come back to my room each and every night but sex is a no go , time spent alone together is great, sex will follow.

[neilyboy]

If you want a good girl i am not sure about Pattaya all though there are many good girls there who work in shops and banks etc. A good girl may stay with you even sleep with you but you will have to be patient if you want sex ,it will come later for sure, just take it slow with here and you will have a great girl friend.

[Yooyung]

I also disagree with the idea that ALL Thai women that are 'good girls' will not come with you to a hotel or whatever. If you are of a similar age, similar in physical attractiveness.....ie she is NOT 25 and you 60!!!!! and you get along well while having dinner....then YES it can happen that they will go with you. There seems to be a lot of sour grapes on this site. Again, we are not ALL 50+ year old men going after 25 year old women. Some of us stick with women that are close to our own age....the success rate is good. If a woman finds you attractive, if she likes your personality, if you make her laugh, if you can speak Thai, or she speaks English well enough...the game isnt too much different to back home.

[bkkgooner]

Sounds like a cheap charlie scamming working girls for their (small) consideration. The marriage proposal wasn't expected on the first night sunshine, some dollar for her time was.

You didn't really read the OP did you?

Prostitutes should not pretend to be something else on dating sites in order to defraud customers, simple as that.

[Pundi6446]

Didn't anyone explain to you, that wanting love, means take care of, and money, "no money no honey"

[neilyboy]

100% correct, but some do not ask for much.

[neilyboy]

but a woman back home will want a lot more money than most of these girls ask for.

[Bernard Flint]

OP, if you want the girl to be honest about compensation, then you should be equally honest as well. Meaning, you should tell her from the outset that you're only interested in free sex.

Contrary what people say here...Very many good girls will go to your place on the first date to have sex....even just hours after meeting, very many, but good girls will feel insulted if you ask how much its want for sex....If you need to ask, it is just because you are not very sure about what kind of woman are you dealing to. In that case, and if you are looking for free sex, do not ask, do not take to your place, and let it go. Most of the times Thai women do not understand English well, but will make you believe the opposite, and that is a recipe for wrong interpretation and problems.

Again.....Women and men have the same sex drive, just with different approach. Bar girls and prostitutes have other interest attached with that, and sex drive doesn't count, to fake it well counts. It is part of the "job".

With so many good girls in Thailand looking in have a good time...why take risk with bad girls?

Sorry..I do not get it.

Boy, I disagree with so many of your statements here. Firstly, "good girls" do not go to your place on the first date to have sex. If they do, they are not "good girls." Not in Thailand. And men and women absolutely do not have the same sex drive. There are exceptions, of course. Anyways, we can agree to disagree.

The girl would have to take back her 3 chaperoons back hahahaha

[Bernard Flint]

I also disagree with the idea that ALL Thai women that are 'good girls' will not come with you to a hotel or whatever. If you are of a similar age, similar in physical attractiveness.....ie she is NOT 25 and you 60!!!!! and you get along well while having dinner....then YES it can happen that they will go with you. There seems to be a lot of sour grapes on this site. Again, we are not ALL 50+ year old men going after 25 year old women. Some of us stick with women that are close to our own age....the success rate is good. If a woman finds you attractive, if she likes your personality, if you make her laugh, if you can speak Thai, or she speaks English well enough...the game isnt too much different to back home.

Who mentioned age???????

[kannot]

Why are you in Pattaya?

If you do not want a prostitute do not live in a brothel and do not do online dating. Find a normal girl the normal way if you can but why are you in Pattaya if you do not need to pay for sex?

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claptrap re the online dating, online is more likely the norm these days, worked for me 9 years ago although my now Wife did hold out until the next day before attacking me mercilessly!!!

[Kaalle]

Whats the definition of a "good" girl? A girl that makes her own money and expects nothing more than your company? Of course there are thai girls like that who will have sex on the first date. Have you people done a survey or something?

I hate to burst some peoples bubble but in Thailand if you are young, white, not ugly, and know how to carry yourself there is no shortage of thai girls that will sleep with you for free, no strings attached. This includes good girls, bad girls, and some other ones in between.

[Gecko123]

"Closed the door on her hand! Taxi boys pounding on my door."

Sounds like it's time to find a new MO. Maybe time to do some soul searching as well.

[MobileContent]

Why are you in Pattaya?

If you do not want a prostitute do not live in a brothel and do not do online dating. Find a normal girl the normal way if you can but why are you in Pattaya if you do not need to pay for sex?

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Its about his budget. He psend it all and can't buy that BG any more so he is trying his chance on a dating site.

I met my wife on a dating website but if she would have lived even 50km's away from Pattaya it would have been a no no

[MobileContent]

i have meet a girl online from isian and she has come back to my room each and every night but sex is a no go , time spent alone together is great, sex will follow.

+1 good point mate. You might have found a diamond.

[A1Str8]

Why did she want money? Did you charge her for doing her?

[metisdead]

Don't know how this topic survived in the Internet, computers, communication, tecknology forum for so long other than the fact that "Internet" was mentioned in the topic title.

//Closed//