Why AreExpats So Stuck Up

[drx13]

Before anyone beats me to it.

[stedyedy]

Thats how they interpret been professional and (manly me got big penis not you)you see it everywhere man in politics,sports,music industry,this is why I dont like competition in schools because it pits kids against one another and winners get to brag and loosers have to soak it up and then what work harder more determined to beat his ass right thats ugly coming from childrdn some may say its just a bit of fun but for the loosers it aint,and we know how hard there trying and taking it seriously look at those soccer fans and fights they get into.

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Kids need competition in school. What do you want - for them to wait until they are out of school to find out that life is competition with winners and losers? They should compete for grades, and in sports, and then they won't be shocked to learn they have to compete for a promotion or to run a business.

As for adults being stuck up, I don't know all of the reasons. I have suspected that many expats didn't do so well with people in their home countries either. I suspect that many are loners, depressed, and generally misfits. Not all of course, but I suspect that many are.

Innovation and success in any asspect of life doesnt come from competition fool its with ones interest in which they wish to seek is what they should be working on you see a big brute of a athlete all of a sudden taking interest in been a book worm overnight if it aint in his interests never going to happen.

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[Beetlejuice]

If someone I don't know wants to say Hi to me, I'll think they are a dash weird... That doesn't make me stuck up, it just makes me think you might be a bit of a nut-job...

In quieter area's, small villages etc there may be other reasons, but in a large city such as Bangkok I don't expect strangers of any nationality to say Hi to me and I certainly don't imagine that I'll go around saying Hi to people I don't know.

A counter question may be asked: "Do people think you are weird if you say Hi to strangers and expect a response ?"

You my friend are what we are talking about. Must be a sad life.

But you are not my friend BillyBob.. and thats the whole point.... Some may wish to waltz around saying hi to anyone they meet and thats fine, but don't get upset if someone think's you're a little strange for doing so.

Would you walk around London saying Hi to strangers, or it just Foreigners in Thailand from whom people expect a response and call them snooty when ignored?

Or do you say Hi to every Thai you walk past?... It's just a little bit odd...

Or perhaps these 'hi to all and sundry folks' are the sort of person who thinks offering my Wife a stick of Gum at the airport baggage carrousel is an opener to impressing them with their 'at-one-ness' with Thailand and all things Thai when all she wants to do is to get rid of the pervy-old-pest !...

In a quiet village where paths may cross regularly there is nothing wrong a nod and a Hi, but in such a large city the chances are that when someone wants to talk to you for no apparent reason they want something....

There are foreigners in my apartment in Bangkok, when in a lift or at the door we say hello... but I do that with Thai's in the same building too. Singling out foreigners seems, well, just weird and too needy...

My family and i live within a small local village community and after reading your post, it only validates my reasons why I would hate to have another farang as a neighbor, or even want to be in the same area or space with you. Yuk.

Walking around in London saying Hi to strangers is a totally different scenario compared to a very few and far between other native English speakers that may live in a majority Thai community up country somewhere.

I am well in with the Thai community in our village, we chat together, drink together and it`s great. There is only one other farang living in our area, a Canadian. He is completely anti social and even the Thais detest the guy, as I would if he lived near me.

2 foreigners that perhaps speak the same language who live close by in the same remote area have no need to become bosom buddies, but on the other hand there is no need to be completely anti social either, to me that is the thing which is really odd and strange.

When me and my Thai wife lived in the States and in the UK, she eventually discovered other Thais in the area to associate with or they found her, mostly people she could chat with on the phone or visit so she could converse in Thai sometimes. That to me is normal and no one would regard us as being weird or strange because we enjoy being with our own kind sometimes and that applies to both Thais and farangs that speak the same language or of the same nationalities. That to me is not needy but only being normal.

If you are only encountering farangs who are trying to chat up your wife by offering her some gum or wanting something, than you are obviously visiting the wrong places or tarring all of us with the same brush.

As another poster said; it must be a sad life or possibly a recluse?

Edited February 2, 2014 by Beetlejuice

[maccaroni man]

I am typically easy to chat with if I am bellied up to a bar. If I am in public and some chap comes to chat me up I close down guard up and think piss off.

[farang000999]

lol 9/10 when a farang randomly initiates conversation with you in bangkok it is some kind of scam/bs/he is drunk/crazy etc. sorry but normal people don't go around randomly saying hi to strangers in some kind of desperate attempt to make friends.

if you want to make friends why dont you join a gym, club, get a hobby, go to a bar, go to a book store, cafe, anywhere... if you think walking up to random strangers on the street is "a good way to make new friends" you sound like a serial killer or social misfit.

[stiggy]

Another I say hello and get no response thread.

I'm neither stuck up or rude, but do believe there is a time and a place for introductions.If I'm out on an agenda,daydreaming or busy I would probably ignore you too.

It' isn't personal, you may be awesome and it becomes my loss.You may also be a complete nut job or scammer.

Either way, don't get annoyed by it.If your lonely do as others have suggested,good luck either way

[Mosha]

Given how Thai teachers seem to be so full of themselves. It must rub off on the foreign teachers. My friend Mem introduces them with awe in her voice. I'm like Oh Aye. Back home we used to say "Those who can do, those who can't teach". My mate Brian is separated from a Thai teacher. She's an absolute fruitcake

[pomchop]

I have to say that for me, being surprised at and suspicious of a stranger who says "hi" on the street is just part of living in a city of 10 million (and I've spent a good part of my life in large cities in the US as well). It's just a way one becomes "hardened" and builds a wall around oneself living in a large city. Unfortunately, the times I have allowed strangers (in Bangkok), foreign and Thai alike, to engage me in conversation on the street, my suspicions (that they've got a scam going) are usually confirmed. However, if another farang were to say hello to me while walking by, I would at least return the greeting...but most likely nothing else, unless it was clear they needed to ask for directions, etc.

I'm much more likely to talk to someone beyond hello if we're already both engaging in the same activity: sitting in a bar or restaurant, or on an airplane or van, waiting in a line at the movie theater, etc.

I often nod or give a small wave when passing fellow falangs in big C or walking down the street. I am not really looking to get into any conversation with them but to me it is simply a habit that I was taught to acknowledge ALL people as a form of respect....obviously not possible in very crowded cities/sidewalks but all too often in quieter situations a nod or a wave is not returned by farangs but I find that it is almost always returned by Thai people.

My opinion is that there are a lot of socially dysfunctional farangs in Thailand that don't seem to have the self confidence to so much as nod at a fellow farang....it is only a polite way of greeting and nothing more.......I have never had a problem telling people to piss off if they turn a polite greeting into some kind of sales pitch or scam or I simply don't have the time or desire to stop and engage in a conversation.

[MrWorldwide]

OP, if you read TV regularly, are these the people you really want to strike up a conversation with ?

[fifthcolumn]

Living in BKK I see little need or have even less desire to acknowledge other foreigners walking about. While I am not wearing a suit and tie, I do wear a clean collar shirt. Many look scruffy and unkept, huge gut, unhealthful palor. Many are tourists, many have hookers in tow despite the woman dressing down. Why am I bothering with this lot? Then there are the short timers that flood the city in the cool season. Seriously, BKK?

I have attempted to tip my hat a few times to the men in my bldg. They all seem like short timers too. They look at me sheepishly like they are guilty of something and quickly look away.

Would be surprised to find US teachers arrogant. Reading the boards, ez to see why the charge could be made about UK teachers. But if it's teachers we are discussing, remember, they are constantly slagged and insulted on the Internets, why would you expect them to be friendly?

I see loads of farang "business men" who no doubt just work in boiler rooms. They never acknowledge me. Walking over to the food court to get some bland, banal food they can choke down until they get home to the ham sandwich. Who cares.

Multiple farangs in a village can be real problems, not saying they should or could not all be friends.

If you are looking to meet people, find an expat pub and especially some hobbies. Barring that, leave. Thailand is not a place for the lonely or small ego.

Men come to Thailand and have the opportunity to reinvent themselves into a really great person free of all the bs back home. Instead, they nuture thier worst habits and base interests.

[Somtamnication]

If you can't deal with my good looks, then it is your problem.

[ford8]

Jean Paul Sartre..."Hell is other people"

[H1w4yR1da]

I actually have much more in common with the Thais!

You mean you pick your nose in public, keep 5 Baht behind your ear, shave with tweezers and can't use an ATM?

Suzuki GSX-R1000 L3 182 hp in-line 4 Superbike

[BillyBobThai]

Yes I am from a small southern town, is that so bad? When I meet others I look them in the eye and just a quick nod. Not trying to start a conversation or steal your wife/GF.

I stick by what I said earlier. A sick,sick puppy.

[chrisinth]

OP, don't wear your TV t-shirt so much when in public.............

You appear to be scaring people who have not signed up for the forum and have a problem with not being worthy enough to converse with you.

Try the simple remedies first....................

[wym]

Not saying it's bad.

I grew up in NYC, the only people making eye contact or saying Hi are the mentally ill.

[brossey1988]

This is just what happens when Westerners come to a region beset with third-world countries; it isn't just the foreigners in Thailand, you'll find the same in Singapore (that recent case of the man calling people on public transport smelly comes to mind), Hong Kong (although a bit less so in my experience), Malaysia... you get the point.

Edited February 3, 2014 by brossey1988

[Notable]

I find the teachers mostly friendly, it's your 50+ ex pat married to a bar girl who's usually worth keeping clear of. They've been here for years and claim to know everything about Thai culture, despite the fact they can't speak a word of the language. They sit in small bars with other ex pats and moan about Thai culture. It's worse if you go to pattaya (blackpool with hookers) and you'll see this vest and flip flop wearing Neanderthal in abundance.

[jkinbkk]

Another possible reason for some Expats anti social behaviour is that some are dominated by there Thai wife/partner.

To the extent that they are forbidden to mix, communicate or acknowledge their own kind and therefore avoid contact through fear of 'The Mrs'

They don't have to be teachers either.

This typically happens to guys that made no effort to stand on their own two feet, explore the World around them, learn the language or blend in at anytime since they arrived.

Hence all bar wiping their ar*se the 'Mrs' does everything for them. Akin to a mongrel house pet that gets a beating every time it shows interest in the World beyond the gate open.

[lostinisaan]

Well, I've seen a bunch who obviously went to work when I had to go to my embassy. I said hi to one, but was ignored. Just said to myself how lucky I can be to live in the northeast and not in the capital.

I'd call that rude, but who cares? Idiots are everywhere.-

[thhMan]

Before pointing the finger... look at yourself....

[cms22]

You actually many not be far wrong, in my limited dealings with school teacher's in Thailand, they have come across the same way, full of a sense of their own importance, but think of it this way they may think they be big fish, but they are in a very small pond indeed

Agreed. I am not a teacher. I've been here in BKK many years. In the village where I live there are many teachers, and, to be honest, I get sick of the sight of them. Stuck up, slightly arrogant, and goody-bloody-two shoes is a way I describe them.

[Notable]

You only need to look on here at the number of negative posts regarding Thai/ex pat relationships to see why ex pats might be unhappy. They realise it isn't the land of smiles after all, consequently their own smiles diminish.

[crazykopite]

Life's to short to worry about other peoples attitudes as long as your happy that is the main thing it may well be worth considering moving on if your neighbours are a miserable bunch . Have you ever thought that they may well think the same of you and that in there eyes your a miserable so and so. !!

[mamypoko]

Interesting topic. I always lead with a smile while walking and I have a pretty good average of getting a 'return smile' from Thai's older than I, but a near dismal average with any walking farang. However, I've made my best friends here when I encounter the very same non-walking/smiling farangs while they happen to be seated, say, having a beer or eating outside.

I find it nearly impossible to believe that there are 'stuck-up' walkers, but rather 'internally engaged walkers'.

On a side note, I once had a friend from the U.S. South (Arkansas) where greeting everyone was a duty and a return greeting was expected. If however, someone did not return his 'hello', he would literally do an about face and follow them saying 'hello! Hello! HELLO!".

[mizzi39]

Sorry, but after reading two pages of this thread, IMO the OP sounds like he has an inferiority complex more than making sweeping generalizations about stuck up expats minimizing the argument to mostly teachers.

I have been an expat for the past seven years, with a wife and son and have met all kinds of people, from polite to down right nobs. If someone says "hello" to me I always reply with a "hello" . It's called having common social grace, however i certainly do not go out of my way to extend a hello to every expat, tourist or Thai that passes me by. I would not do this in my home country and certainly would not do it here. I also get weary when someone who i don't know comes off as being too "polite". this is when my defenses go up, thinking that there is some kind of ulterior motive behind such "politeness" which is usually the case based on personal experience.

[captspectre]

If someone I don't know wants to say Hi to me, I'll think they are a dash weird... That doesn't make me stuck up, it just makes me think you might be a bit of a nut-job...

In quieter area's, small villages etc there may be other reasons, but in a large city such as Bangkok I don't expect strangers of any nationality to say Hi to me and I certainly don't imagine that I'll go around saying Hi to people I don't know.

A counter question may be asked: "Do people think you are weird if you say Hi to strangers and expect a response ?"

the answer to your question, no, it just showws that you have good manners and are well adjusted and do not fear what you don't know. up here in esan, all the thai's say hello when passing.

[hhgz]

Hubris.

[fredKroket]

There's an older Amercian guy living in my condo, it's a small condo only 31 units. I often saw this guy in the lobby and car park and would say 'Good morning' or 'Good evening' and never receive a response or acknowledgement. One morning coming out of the elevator I made my usual greeting whilst walking my son to the car, again no response. I turned around on my heel and walked back 'Don't you ever say hello or anything to anyone? It's really quite rude'. The old boy became really flustered and didn't say much except for 'sorry'. However each time I see him now he always replies if I speak to him.

[NoshowJones]

lol 9/10 when a farang randomly initiates conversation with you in bangkok it is some kind of scam/bs/he is drunk/crazy etc. sorry but normal people don't go around randomly saying hi to strangers in some kind of desperate attempt to make friends.

if you want to make friends why dont you join a gym, club, get a hobby, go to a bar, go to a book store, cafe, anywhere... if you think walking up to random strangers on the street is "a good way to make new friends" you sound like a serial killer or social misfit.

You are right about everything you say, I am the only Farang in my village, but if I saw another Farang, which is almost non existent, I would acknowledge him, to see if I got a response, if so I would chat to him, if not, I would just move on.