Does the up to you syndrome exists also in other Asian country's or only in Thailand ?

[Sandman77]

After 10 years here I getting tiered of the daily up to you!

Everyone I tell my opinion , in stead of a clear aswer it ends in silence, when it does not reflect the opinion of the woman or in a endless up to you syndrome!

Some time I think to move over to the Philippines for a while!

I never visit this country!

Can someone please explain me the difference filipina and thaiwomwn? Is the up to you syndrome also so strongly presented in the catholic country like in Thailand ?

[Banzai99]

Go try the Philippines, Up To You

[NancyL]

Sandman77, I'm under the impression that many western men come here because they like the fact that Thai women are so unlike western women -- they don't "talk back", they're feminine, submissive, cater to their every need. That everything in a relationship, for the man, is "up to you".

[wileycoyote]

Up-to -you ,is one of the most open ended and dangerous gambit in conversation.Involving instant negativity and admonition if you make the wrong choice.

Personally,I believe that this is a Thai phenomena ,mainly (as discussed above) from a female to a male.

[realenglish1]

I like it when you are on your first date and make a play for the lady She smiles and says

UP TO YOU

That has its merits

[ThaiTerry]

Sandman77, I'm under the impression that many western men come here because they like the fact that Thai women are so unlike western women -- they don't "talk back", they're feminine, submissive, cater to their every need. That everything in a relationship, for the man, is "up to you".

You keep believing that 555

[techboy]

Not a syndrome- This the crux of your problem.

[kaldoverde]

Actually I lived in the Philippines for 2 years and it's even worse. In Thailand it's 'up to you', in the Philippines it's 'Yes, sir'.

These are countries where the majority of the people (i.e. the poor lower classes) are not supposed to question things. People are quite afraid of confrontation in these countries, and will do anything they can to avoid it. That's why finding someone capable of critical thinking is so difficult. Then again it's not the person's fault, rather the way the education and social system work.

You can actually give wrong orders to your employees and even if they know what they're doing doesn't make sense they still won't question you due to fear of confrontation.

[krisb]

Actually I lived in the Philippines for 2 years and it's even worse. In Thailand it's 'up to you', in the Philippines it's 'Yes, sir'.

These are countries where the majority of the people (i.e. the poor lower classes) are not supposed to question things. People are quite afraid of confrontation in these countries, and will do anything they can to avoid it. That's why finding someone capable of critical thinking is so difficult. Then again it's not the person's fault, rather the way the education and social system work.

You can actually give wrong orders to your employees and even if they know what they're doing doesn't make sense they still won't question you due to fear of confrontation.

Congrats...

Creepiest avatar yet!

[Costas2008]

Up to you, or depends on you..........

The other day I asked my wife, would you like to go out for dinner?

The answer was......Depends on you, my love.

OK, then get dressed so we go out.

Sorry, my love I feel tired..........

I rest my case..........

I think they use the expression just to make you feel better, or in charge.

At the end, it's what they want..............

[mrtoad]

I think it s a case for the op of "up to you"

[Morakot]

These are countries where the majority of the people (i.e. the poor lower classes) are not supposed to question things. People are quite afraid of confrontation in these countries, and will do anything they can to avoid it. That's why finding someone capable of critical thinking is so difficult. Then again it's not the person's fault, rather the way the education and social system work.

It's not about faults, but about not openly questioning things.

If you carefully look you will see the (often non-verbal) clues, like most native see and interpret them.

Depending on the context, the very statement "Up to you" can be a veiled and non-confrontational way of indicating surprise, difference, disagreement.

E.g. your avatar: up to you

Edited April 24, 2014 by Morakot

[NoshowJones]

Go try the Philippines, Up To You

I think I would rather be told "it's up to you" than "no you can't".

[NoshowJones]

Actually I lived in the Philippines for 2 years and it's even worse. In Thailand it's 'up to you', in the Philippines it's 'Yes, sir'.

These are countries where the majority of the people (i.e. the poor lower classes) are not supposed to question things. People are quite afraid of confrontation in these countries, and will do anything they can to avoid it. That's why finding someone capable of critical thinking is so difficult. Then again it's not the person's fault, rather the way the education and social system work.

You can actually give wrong orders to your employees and even if they know what they're doing doesn't make sense they still won't question you due to fear of confrontation.

Congrats...

Creepiest avatar yet!

Not by a long way, I think Scarpolos new avatar is creepy and ugly.

[ggt]

Some Asian people...are more likely to say "up yours"...hope this helps...

[sirineou]

Up to you only means,

it is up to you to make the right choice,

it by no means mean , it is up to you to choose what ever you want.

The sooner you realize that, the happier you will be in your relationship.

[Refresh]

If it is up to you that does not mean you need to reply - the NLP response would be silence and a warm smile - she will not know the decisions unless she asks - if she asks, then respond with an open ended questions - what are the pros and cons? Up to you is intended as a conversation closure - so consider it closed until she re opens it and then keep it open - no conflict, no change in voice tone, relaxed...

[Fullstop]

"Krengjai" Google it. All will be revealed.

[JLCrab]

Find a Thai girl doesn't English then No Problem.

[lensta]

Indonesian women say this a lot also.

"Can someone please explain me the difference filipina and Thai women"?

Philippine Women have bigger tits

[TheRascal]

The problem I've found with "up to you" is that it doesn't always end well.

- Want to eat mexican food?

- Up to you

Then sit in silence cos she's pissed off as she didn't want to go there but didn't express what she wanted. Crazy girls.

[Ulic]

Yes, in Cambodia and Philippines.

[TheKnave]

Sandman77, I'm under the impression that many western men come here because they like the fact that Thai women are so unlike western women -- they don't "talk back", they're feminine, submissive, cater to their every need. That everything in a relationship, for the man, is "up to you".

What Thailand do you live in??

Thai women submissive? You really need to get to know a few...

[freebyrd]

Lived in:

Thailand - Up to you.....

Hong Kong, Vietnam, China, Philippines, Cambodia - ditto

You can't escape it, so just learn to live with it.

[Fookhaht]

Sandman77, I'm under the impression that many western men come here because they like the fact that Thai women are so unlike western women -- they don't "talk back", they're feminine, submissive, cater to their every need. That everything in a relationship, for the man, is "up to you".

What Thailand do you live in??

Thai women submissive? You really need to get to know a few...

Both are correct.

I think the change from "up to you" to the matriarchal authority figure happens some time around the wedding bell sound.

[Nowisee]

Up to you!

Just too ambiguous and passive aggressive for me

[Sheryl]

Yes, in Cambodia and Philippines.

To say the least, in Cambodia. They put the Thais to shame when it comes to "Up to You". Really, really common there and in no way limited to women.

In fact I scarely notice it in Thailand, probably because it is so much less here than in Cambodia.

In Cambodia (and I would suspect also in Thailand) it is, BTW, in no way an indication of submissiveness. More like passive-aggressiveness. The proper translation of "up to you" being "I have a definite and strong opinion/preference which I am not going to tell you, you'll have to figure it out on your own". And woe be unto you if you don't....

[BudRight]

Isn't it more like 'ub dtoo yooooo'

[louse1953]

Sandman77, I'm under the impression that many western men come here because they like the fact that Thai women are so unlike western women -- they don't "talk back", they're feminine, submissive, cater to their every need. That everything in a relationship, for the man, is "up to you".

Nancy,i usually agree with your comments,but if you think the above is true,you are mistaken.Western men may think that at 1st but soon find out its a way different game.

[pxlgirl]

should I consider myself lucky that my better half never used that phrase on me? But I heard it a lot from others though. To me it seemed to mean things like "I don't want to tell you what I really think" or "whatever, I don't give a shit".

As for expectations of western men towards women, some might favor this "submissive" nature, but there's nothing wrong with it when it's mutual. In western societies it's very difficult to have a healthy relationship, thanks to the "feminist movement", spreading false information on crime statistics, just to paint every male as a potential predator and daring to force their political agenda down every women's throat. As a result, the imagined "patriarchy" shifts to a constructed passive aggressive "matriarchy", where even a guy asking a girl out can be branded as "sexual harassment " or worse. Besides, that some angry women go so far that they'd falsely accuse men of rape, knowing too well that the authorities will "believe" them as "victims". The motives are often primitive revenge, and a disgrace to the real victims and all of humanity. This is a very complex topic, so I should stop before it gets completely OT.