Has anyone ever heard of 5 Million baht sin sod being asked before.

[louse1953]

Once again the members of ThaiVisa show themselves to be a bunch of cynical old men when it comes to anything to do with Thai ladies, Thai families or anything to do with wealthy people (Thai or otherwise)

WayneThompson didn't give us much info about the family or his relationship with them, but reading between the lines I picture a decent middle class or upper middle class family living in Bangkok, for whom 5 million is really just chump change.

They want him to demonstrate his commitment to their daughter by 'showing them face' and letting other people see that he is happy to put 5 million baht into the marriage, they also want to show to other people (friends, business associates) that the person their daughter is marrying is not lower class than she is, i.e she isn't disgracing the family by marrying down.

I guess if you've never been rich yourself and you don't mix with people (Thai and other nationalities) who have real money, you probably have no idea that this is commonplace.

Well moneybags,what if poor old Wayne cant or wont stump up the cash.Family reject him and another Thai kid grows up without a dad,and the daughter has buckleys of finding another sucker.Glad im not real rich.

[Amavel]

I replaced my wife's income to the family for 5 years and gave 5 baht weight gold. I also insisted I would NEVER agree to a loan to family for any reason. They never have asked and I willingly give them gifts periodically.

Establish early, a middle path of funding. Not too cheap, not too foolish. They will know what to expect from you, many years into the future. Makes for no surprises when crisis happens.

A daughters marriage should not be a ticket for in laws moving into "easy street".

Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[tingtongteesood]

Offer to buy the house if you are ok with that. If not ask to lower it. If not say you won't get married, but keep on as you are. See how that goes down....? Just don't hand over to the parents as they may decide to keep it...

[nottocus]

Bloody Sin Sot…oldest scam in the book.

[poweratradio]

Marry her outside of Thailand. That confuses the whole sin sod bs.

5 million is about 5 million more than I paid.

If you aren't trolling us, her family is trolling you.

Gooooood Luck mate!....you will need it by the sounds.

The whole sinsod dowery business is a backwoods tradition ancient as well. Get yourself an educated girl who lives in the real world 2014.

[bkkgooner]

In the most polite terms possible tell her family to f off

Just got married a month and a half ago not a single mention of sin sod ever arose. I support my wife and two sons by working hard and I look after my mother in law who lives with us, the rest of her family didn't even bother giving us a gift when we got married such a lovely bunch of people.

You don't demonstrate your commitment to your fiance by stumping up 5 million baht in cash you do it by showing her family how much you love and take care of her.

[ukrules]

I'm sure there are laws against purchasing a person. Laws which would be enforced in your home country and in this country.

[The Fat Controller]

I think a lot of contributors are completely missing the point, seancbk hit it on the head in post #101

It is all about the ability to take care of the lady in question, respect for her family and of course "face"

What surprises me most is that so many people who have commented have yet to get their own heads around the Thai way of thinking regarding sinsot despite them obviously having a long relationship with the country and the people.

[mickyboy]

i married my thia wife and she gave me money mind you she has and her family 10 houses and 3 apartment blocks in and around bangkok i never own them or have them but knowing she never ask me for money great i would not het involved with any women who wanted money like that never to been seen again mugs they are

[searcherkind666]

Oh man dude im feeling ya , just remember nothing in Thailand is real its all a dream . don't pay anything to anyone your going to need your money now that you got your foot caught in the trap . Good luck man .

[F4UCorsair]

I think a lot of contributors are completely missing the point, seancbk hit it on the head in post #101

It is all about the ability to take care of the lady in question, respect for her family and of course "face"

What surprises me most is that so many people who have commented have yet to get their own heads around the Thai way of thinking regarding sinsot despite them obviously having a long relationship with the country and the people.

Or the inability/reluctance of Thais to get their heads around the culture of their new 'wealthy' son in law??? Sin sot/d is not part of any western cultures that I'm aware of, so why do Thais continue to impose their wishes, and more importantly, who do western suckers think they're somehow saving the family by giving their hard earned to them? Would they do it at home? You bet they wouldn't!!

It's a double edged sword.

[bkkjames]

I think a lot of contributors are completely missing the point, seancbk hit it on the head in post #101

It is all about the ability to take care of the lady in question, respect for her family and of course "face"

What surprises me most is that so many people who have commented have yet to get their own heads around the Thai way of thinking regarding sinsot despite them obviously having a long relationship with the country and the people.

Or the inability/reluctance of Thais to get their heads around the culture of their new 'wealthy' son in law??? Sin sot/d is not part of any western cultures that I'm aware of, so why do Thais continue to impose their wishes, and more importantly, who do western suckers think they're somehow saving the family by giving their hard earned to them? Would they do it at home? You bet they wouldn't!!

It's a double edged sword.

It's not only Farangs that get asked for this by the way - thai guys get it as well...and one wonders why there are so many Thai girls single here.

[F4UCorsair]

It's an anachronistic tradition, with the true meaning probably lost in time....and folklore.

I read many years ago, that when Thailand was essentially a subsistence farming economy, it was so that the parents could pay hired help for a couple of years to take the place of the daughter on the farm. What happened after a couple of years I'm not sure, but they were large families, so perhaps a younger sibling took the place of the departed daughter? By the time they'd run out of siblings, thee were enough sons to run the place and take care of the parents, and the cycle started over?

Then foreigners started arriving, and a new pot of gold was discovered, unlike any that had gone before.

Why are so many Thai girls single? They're waiting for the bigger pot of gold from ignorant and unsuspecting foreigners, and bigger ***** apparently.

[hhgz]

"I think this is to buy a house in Bangkok with so that we can live there."

​Why not ask your pregnant girlfriend? Regardless, as a responsible and educated adult, we're sure you can handle this without our input.

[F4UCorsair]

"I think this is to buy a house in Bangkok with so that we can live there."

​Why not ask your pregnant girlfriend? Regardless, as a responsible and educated adult, we're sure you can handle this without our input.

If it's to buy a house, then make sure that it's secure and can't be sold from under you, or if it's sold with your consent, that the proceeds can't go elsewhere. If she really 'lubs you longtime', she will have no objection.

I'd be ensuring she's trussed up like a Christmas turkey if I was putting $160K+ in her name.

[Donnie Brasco]

Highest I am aware of a farang paying is 30 million bht!

Actually a guy in Roi-et paid 1 million! Any sinsod is too much in my opinion. The idea that if they want a Farang THEY adopt our rules . If they want sinsod then marry a Thai. There are plenty of good women here that understand this concept. We marry for love .......they sell their daughters! And folks..there are plenty that disappear after the ceremony !

. . . . . . . and some TVers question the use of prostitutes.

"Sometimes, 'fuggedabowdit' just means fuggedabowdit. . . . "

[Donnie Brasco]

Five Million Baht That is nothing but a Joke Is she a Superstar with A TV program then maybe 5 million

Offer them 200,000 and be done with it. They see Farang and Think RICH FOREIGNER .

All I can say is if you pay 5 million your stupid. 100,000 is average and 200.000 is very generous I know I married Thai with Masters degree and she comes from a Good upper class Family

Good luck

I was asked 300,000 baht "wedding portion" for a HS grad in Udonthani once. I declined...

Smart.

You can do better.

"Sometimes, 'fuggedabowdit' just means fuggedabowdit. . . . "

[culicine]

haha I wish It was petty cash. not even close

If her family is loaded you are supposed to display you have the same social status - that's what it's 5 million. You MAY get it back, in the way of a house, or you may not. And the house will be in the GF's name anyway. I don't know f many rich Thai women marrying poor farang - just the opposite way around.

[Mencken]

Seven posts - troll alert

Well, all I can say is wife to be of Education minister only recd 1m.

Troll

[F4UCorsair]

I've been caught again!! Damn!!!

Before I post on anything that even looks a bit silly or contentious again I MUST check the number of posts first.

I agree Mencken.....troll post.

[brewsterbudgen]

In the most polite terms possible tell her family to f off

Just got married a month and a half ago not a single mention of sin sod ever arose. I support my wife and two sons by working hard and I look after my mother in law who lives with us, the rest of her family didn't even bother giving us a gift when we got married such a lovely bunch of people.

You don't demonstrate your commitment to your fiance by stumping up 5 million baht in cash you do it by showing her family how much you love and take care of her.

Everyone's circumstances are different. Just because you didn't pay any sinsod doesn't reflect the position for many couples/families in Thailand. I'm very happy that you saved some money, but to paint your situation as typical is plain wrong and misleading.

[expat888]

They think they have you over a barrel because the gf is pregnant.

Pay nothing. If the gf presses you on this then she is equally guilty.

[slipperylobster]

If you are into the sin sod experience...you decide what this investment is worthy to you...then make your bid...don't let the family try to shame you into emptying your bank account...do not forget...there are no guarantees that the marriage will last...regardless of how much you pay...

As it has been explained, you must withdraw 5 million baht, put it in an envelope and display it at the wedding. As soon as the wedding is completed, the mom hands it all back to you.

Am I correct?

or am I

You would need a pretty big envelope. maybe a suitcase?

There is an alternative. Invite me to the wedding, I will grab the suitcase and make a run for it....

We can split it two ways!

[silomdon232]

i married my thia wife and she gave me money mind you she has and her family 10 houses and 3 apartment blocks in and around bangkok i never own them or have them but knowing she never ask me for money great i would not het involved with any women who wanted money like that never to been seen again mugs they are

does she have a sister for me ? Please !!

Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

[Keesters]

If you pay even one baht doesn't that make her a prostitute and the family pimps?

[Keesters]

Error...double post

[johnmarhall]

no sin sod is a relic of the past and never should be paid or even shown just family bragging to the rest of the village that their daughter caught the golden goose you must have an extra 5 million baht just lying around and what happens if you do not give it to them so the marriage will be only on the sin sod being paid i am not putting you down but ask yourself some questions 5 million baht is a lot of money for a family here in thailand

[brewsterbudgen]

If you pay even one baht doesn't that make her a prostitute and the family pimps?

No it doesn't.

[scorecard]

You say her family live in Bkk, she is the youngest of 12, quite a few older siblings probably married, some with kids.

The new house - please be careful that it's not seen as a house available to all the extended family without asking in advance, to come and go as they please, operate the TV at all hours at full volume, use air con all day, etc.

I have one farang friend who fell into just this trap, even against all advice allowed the land chanut to be recorded in the name of his wife's eldest brother. Once completed the house quickly became overrun every day, damage caused, farang expected to pay all bills etc., and expected to provide a generous daily allowance for food and drink, , no privacy whatever, etc etc.

Farang then decided to build another house about 5 kilometres away.

Extended family were told first house was theirs to do what they wanted but farang would no longer pay any bills whatever. His wife (professional consultant) was also very ready to get away from the daily chaos and found the courage to tell all the family they had to call first before visiting the new house and they could not sleep there.

After 6 months first house almost unused and in poor condition. Wife approached eldest brother with a suggestion he sell the house and split the proceeds with her. All this discussed and agreed with farang husband in advance.

Luckily eldest brother agreed, house was sold quietly, luckily quite quickly. Extended family totally uninterested. Money split quietly, all happy.

Not all cases like this of course.

[kerrysum]

Marry her outside of Thailand. That confuses the whole sin sod bs.

5 million is about 5 million more than I paid.

If you aren't trolling us, her family is trolling you.

Gooooood Luck mate!....you will need it by the sounds.

I agree totally, never paid it... And never will.... My current wife's father... fathered 15 girls and 1 boy..... Actually throughout my so many years of dealing with Thailand, I guess you call it a dowry.... Was she a virgin? When you fell in lust? I have always given back things that amount to the ideal I left them better off, than when they first met me....... In my time in all the years in Thailand, I personally watched abortions, to save face... And of course collect the sin sod/or dowry.... Mostly it is a scam in my opinion..... Just my thought, and if you disagree, then it always, your choice....

Maybe Thailand needs to get their ducks in a row..... But I do know that back then they didn't have TV, if one is to understand why they had so many children? Mostly because there was a higher death rate, and that many were farmers, they produced more children in case one died.... Just my thought of all the years in Thailand.... My father-in-law struck out with 15 girls and 1 boy, but I guess it might have been as well 16 girls......

And do not get caught up in Asian culture this way, they are mostly all alike..........

kilosierra