I was chatting to a guy recently, he was saying how he is stuck here now.

He came 12 tears ago, built a home etc, his family have since passed on so no real connection with the homeland anymore. He's put all his money into the property car etc and has a comfortable life but feels stuck and no choice but to ride out his days in Thailand.

He said he gets days when Thailand makes him crazy, with different frustrations and whilst rolling with most of it now, he still gets times when he could just walk away but cant, as he's stuck because he is "all in" to Thailand.

I thought that was a little sad in some respects and got me to thinking as to how many others felt that way ?

How many others have gone "all in" and maybe have regrets in doing so after the passage of time.

Yes when your boxers get all sweaty and stuck in your crutch.

It's a good question - sometimes I think about other options, but in a way I've made a commitment to being here - although I still have the option to go back to my home country , with a house and my employment skills.

I think it would be tough to not have that option, and I am sure there are a few around who are "all in" so as to speak.

I think at certain times in life we all feel stuck,stuck in a rut that is.

Take a few days of and go somewhere else,it does not even have to be far.

If you have property here you can sell it and move on but remember the grass is always greener,,,.

There are always options.

I am not all in totally but i have pretty much settled down here and i hope the urge to move on will not get too strong.

If 'the guy' in question is young then yes it was probably too early to make that 100% commitment.

However, if he is of retiring/or near retiring age then he has to think how much better the alternative? Alone (all his family has passed on) in his home country, with no doubt a high cost of living and probably no spouse also.

Clearly he could consider other ASEAN countries, but like most who commit, one assumes he did his homework prior and considered the long term consequences.

In the end life is all a compromise anyway,

I think at certain times in life we all feel stuck,stuck in a rut that is.

Take a few days of and go somewhere else,it does not even have to be far.

If you have property here you can sell it and move on but remember the grass is always greener,,,.

There are always options.

I am not all in totally but i have pretty much settled down here and i hope the urge to move on will not get too strong.

Agree 100% - two days in Bangkok is enough to convince me that the traffic in Pattaya isnt so bad after all.

How many others have gone "all in" and maybe have regrets in doing so after the passage of time?

It's quite common. I've met lots. And, there are many more who are in denial, if they admitted it, they'd self-destruct.

That's why when someone posts here and expresses a desire to move to Thailand and asks advice, I reply, Come with a duffel bag and travel about for one year minimum, otherwise forget it.

Every single one has scoffed at such advice.

It took me 9 month to realize that ;

- The laws and regulation of Thailand are not foreigner friendly

- People keep on judging you to know where you fit in their feudal ranking system, "equal" is not part of the Thai vocabulary.

- The weather is way too hot to be considered "comfortable"

and the food is not good.

So how someone is in right mind can spend 12 years in this country is something I don't really understand. Being "stuck" is maybe the explanation.

Old age makes many people stuck.

Young families also make people stuck.

There is a very small window in some people's life when they can really be free.

95% of the population is always stuck.

It took me 9 month to realize that ;

- The laws and regulation of Thailand are not foreigner friendly

- People keep on judging you to know where you fit in their feudal ranking system, "equal" is not part of the Thai vocabulary.

- The weather is way too hot to be considered "comfortable"

and the food is not good.

So how someone is in right mind can spend 12 years in this country is something I don't really understand. Being "stuck" is maybe the explanation.

.

Because he invested himself here.

Ways to do that:

Build a house on land you can't own.

Start a business.

Bring a lot of crap here from "back home."

Buy lots of crap here; especially vehicles.

Bring large pets.

EDIT: Oh yeah, have kids or marry into them.

Some interesting points made, makes you wonder is being "stuck" or in denial of being stuck, is this the reason for many "sour" and negative reactions and responses from some of the long term expats.

Some interesting points made, makes you wonder is being "stuck" or in denial of being stuck, is this the reason for many "sour" and negative reactions and responses from some of the long term expats.

I would think that would be a logical deduction.

Er, I mean, yep.

I came to live here 12 years ago. I recently visited my home country (UK), but there was nothing there for me now. Although I am well-qualified, I think at my age (55), the best job I could get would be stacking shelves in Tesco. So the decision to live in the UK or near a nice beach in Phuket is easy.

I do have a viable business in Phuket and a second skill (teaching/school management). The latter skill and opportunities in that sector do give rise to the feeling that I am 'stuck' in Phuket, (because my business relies on the airport here and doesn't allow me enough time to go and teach elsewhere).

I shouldn't really complain - life could be oh so much worse...

People don't plan to fail they just fail to plan.... you've all heard it. This is why people get 'stuck' or in a rut. Thinking more than a year or two ahead in everything usually solves the problem. As all members here know, never invest more than you can walk away from tomorrow, this does include time you know!

Oz

I've been here ten years full time and only recently have I decided to split my time between the UK and Thailand rather than stay here continuously, this for the reason the OP describes but also for tax and medical purposes also. I think it's inevitable that a person around retirement age and having stayed in the same location for the past ten years or more, feels trapped and wonders whether the alternative might have been better.

I felt stuck in the Uk,emigrated to Australia,after 15 years felt stuck there came to Thailand now feel stuck here,i guess i am a stucker.

Ah yes, the human condition, "the grass is always greener....".

I just had a conversation with my 89 year-old Mother Sunday morning (yesterday) that there was nothing about my existence in Thailand that would prevent me legally or otherwise from getting on a plane tomorrow to the USA and never going back to Thailand.

But for the benefit of the 2 gents above, I would not have health insurance in USA until I reached 65 in a few years and my 220 volt yogurt maker would would not work in 110 volt USA so there would be some complications.

Why sad

Many people would give anything to get out of places like UK, AND LIVE IN THAILAND. He has had 12 happy years here, had the balls to do the move,and if any regrets he can go back home.

I think at certain times in life we all feel stuck,stuck in a rut that is.

Take a few days of and go somewhere else,it does not even have to be far.

If you have property here you can sell it and move on but remember the grass is always greener,,,.

There are always options.

I am not all in totally but i have pretty much settled down here and i hope the urge to move on will not get too strong.

Agree 100% - two days in Bangkok is enough to convince me that the traffic in Pattaya isnt so bad after all.

I will drink to that comment. Have many friends come to visit, and what is very noticeable, is how washed out they are, hating the uk and all it stands for, all of them will be coming to live in Thailand, but not Bangkok.

The grass isnt greener most of the time, think sensible and one can be very happy in Thailand, warts and all.

Why sad

Many people would give anything to get out of places like UK, AND LIVE IN THAILAND. He has had 12 happy years here, had the balls to do the move,and if any regrets he can go back home.

No he cant, thats the point, he's "all in" here, nothing back in the homeland to go back to, and all the assets ars here now, so wouldnt have anything either.

How many others have gone "all in" and maybe have regrets in doing so after the passage of time?

It's quite common. I've met lots. And, there are many more who are in denial, if they admitted it, they'd self-destruct.

That's why when someone posts here and expresses a desire to move to Thailand and asks advice, I reply, Come with a duffel bag and travel about for one year minimum, otherwise forget it.

Every single one has scoffed at such advice.

Where do you live, giving such advice as that. My advice as an expat of 11 years is

Everything in moderation, nothing more, nothing less

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I just had a conversation with my 89 year-old Mother Sunday morning (yesterday) that there was nothing about my existence in Thailand that would prevent me legally or otherwise from getting on a plane tomorrow to the USA and never going back to Thailand.

But for the benefit of the 2 gents above, I would not have health insurance in USA until I reached 65 in a few years and my 220 volt yogurt maker would would not work in 110 volt USA so there would be some complications.

You're still missing out on a yoghurt maker thread.... happy hunting

I lived my life getting unstuck. Back in Canada I bought and lived in 12 different houses. Since being in Thailand have slowed down have only owned 2. It seems I cannot stay in the same situation to long. I need stimulation as soon as everything is comfortable and settled I move on. I think I just like to creat new. I thought I could survive in any new situation so went out to creat new challenges. I was never married till I came to Thailand so maybe my need to creat was why I always was getting unstuck. I feel less stuck here. I am learning a lot from my wife on how to deal with life and feel less stuck than ever in my life. I may even become a settled happy,content family man. Far from stuck.

Off to the Philippines. That place is great

How many others have gone "all in" and maybe have regrets in doing so after the passage of time?

It's quite common. I've met lots. And, there are many more who are in denial, if they admitted it, they'd self-destruct.

That's why when someone posts here and expresses a desire to move to Thailand and asks advice, I reply, Come with a duffel bag and travel about for one year minimum, otherwise forget it.

Every single one has scoffed at such advice.

Where do you live, giving such advice as that. My advice as an expat of 11 years is

Everything in moderation, nothing more, nothing less

.

I never feel stuck, except in My old Jeans, but that's another story. I have the flexibility to come and go, which I think makes all the difference.

Ever watched a cow chewing on the grass on the other side of a barbed wire fence.

I've never felt stuck in Thailand. While I'm here I'm happy- and when I go back home I'll be equally happy

PS- Renting gives you options and mobility

How many others have gone "all in" and maybe have regrets in doing so after the passage of time?

It's quite common. I've met lots. And, there are many more who are in denial, if they admitted it, they'd self-destruct.

That's why when someone posts here and expresses a desire to move to Thailand and asks advice, I reply, Come with a duffel bag and travel about for one year minimum, otherwise forget it.

Every single one has scoffed at such advice.

Where do you live, giving such advice as that. My advice as an expat of 11 years is

Everything in moderation, nothing more, nothing less

Forum rules prohibit discussing moderation....oh..sorry. Never mind.

Being "stuck" (in every conceivable context) is merely a state of mind.

Anybody can get unstuck whenever they choose to, but usually they're so masochistic they find a million reasons to maintain the status quo.

They will choose to stay stuck until they reach a crisis point and then typically will make bad and often costly decisions.

Not a great recipe for a happy and succcessful existence.