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You know that you're retired when...


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Posted

You really know that you're retired when...
It's been Monday all day, right up until the moment that your wife informs you that it's Sunday
.

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Posted

You take up Raffia work.

Forgive my ignorance but what is Raffia work? Is that like basket weaving or something?

Indeed with brightly coloured strands,well you can make anything from a toothpick holder to a valise,in wonderful vibrant shades.

Posted

Retirement coming up soon.

I will know I'm retired when the only thing I will worry about is when to sleep and when to eat.

(borrowed)

Posted

Not specifically about retirement but life in general.....

“The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A Death! What's that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you're too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating...


...and you finish off as an orgasm.”

George Carlin

Posted

You look at Yermanee's avatar and think:

Hmmmm, I wonder what the ale tastes like?

You look at Yermanee's avatar and think:

Hummmm, I need to buy some softer pillows.

Posted

My wife asked me the other day..."What are you going to do today?"

I said..."Nuthin."

She said..."You did that yesterday."

I answered..."I didn't finish."

Posted

I don't remember the last day I worked, it's been so long and it's been a ball ever since tongue.png

Yermanee wai.gif

I don't remember the day I worked, as my philosophy has always been, when I'm too old to have a ball there is plenty of time to go work .

One has to have his priorities in order.

Posted

When you think you know everything and the others are amazed by your knowledge.

When you fart, and you don't care if the others hear you.

When you believe your wife/gf, when she tells you are the most hansum man on earth.

When you have nightmares about being late for work, while before you wouldn't give a toss.

When you start thinking of how many years you got left to live.

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