Girlfriend wants me to buy her a house

[AnotherOneAmerican]

Tell her to pay the deposit and get the home loan as her part of the bargain.

Then you will make all the monthly payments for the next 25 years as your share.

How generous is that offer!

(Deposit on 1M, about 100k, repayments on 900k over 25y about 7k/month)

I find the idea of a 25-year loan frightening. Are there shorter term mortgages?

I (we) have a 1 mil. baht loan and pay 12.300 baht over a period of 10 year included insurace for the house (Bangkok Bank) total paybak 1.476.000

25 Years 7k / month 2.100.000 Baht !!

The idea is to never let her get enough equity in the house to make it worthwhile her dumping you and selling it.

A 10 year home loan, she can dump you after 5 years and make money.

Geddit?

Edited June 28, 2014 by AnotherOneAmerican

[TheRascal]

I hear what you all say and the logical decision would be to say no. But is it that bad a thing to listen to your heart and do what you think you should do and that you know will make her happy?

Am I taking a HUGE risk in doing so?

What risks have you taken and have they paid off?

Where did you meet her and how old is she?

Yes, it is a bad thing to listen to your heart in instances where there's a significant chance you're being manipulated.

I wouldn't but then the cultures are so different. There are aspects of Thai culture I warm to and personality traits that make me want to stay and never go home. If she has a way of asking for things that differ from what I am used to at home then I can live with that. Burping in public and clearing her throat in the bathroom and tipping more than I would are all attributes that are different but acceptable.

This analogy has been used before in this thread so I am replying to yours not to be direct to your reference but in a general way. No offence intended.

Thai culture doesn't dictate that you should buy a girl a house.

If she's suggesting to you that you'd pay anywhere close to that for a wedding and Sin Sod, her and her family are laughing all the way to the bank.

Not to be rude but if your girlfriend thinks it's acceptable to burp in public (hint - it isn't) then my guess is (no offence and correct me if I'm wrong) is that she's from an impoverished background and probably left school pretty young. Couple that with the fact she's already been married and has a child already then the amount a Thai would pay for sin sod would be... well to be honest they probably wouldn't go there, but on the tiny chance that they did they wouldn't pay a penny for the "privilege".

You haven't as far as I've seen mentioned where you met her but if it was around the "naughty nightlife" industry or you suspect that she has ever worked in this capacity then her family should be paying you.

But here's my conclusion - you wouldn't do it in your country, it's not Thai culture to do so (unless you count a particularly tiny subset of Thais where the culture is to get westerners to buy them houses) so don't do it.

[tagranados]

The idea is to never let her get enough equity in the house to make it worthwhile her dumping you and selling it.

A 10 year home loan, she can dump you after 5 years and make money.

Geddit?

Yeah, it's totally not a red flag to be in a relationship where you have to do this sort of thing ^

[donmuang37]

Yes, of course she wants you to buy her a house - so she can throw you out of it after, of course, you buy the new car, a new buffalo, a new... well, you get the idea. Above entries are correct, buy a condo in your name only. I'm just betting she won't want to do that!

P.S. It's an IQ test that Thais give to farangs!

[AnotherOneAmerican]

The idea is to never let her get enough equity in the house to make it worthwhile her dumping you and selling it.

A 10 year home loan, she can dump you after 5 years and make money.

Geddit?

Yeah, it's totally not a red flag to be in a relationship where you have to do this sort of thing ^

Nope, you need to do this sort of thing in every relationship with a woman, in nearly every country of the world.

Else the woman has a 50% chance of taking the house off you.

Judges in the west, like to award women houses.

If the bank owns most of the house it isn't a big problem for you.

If you own the house 100%, it is a problem.

Hands up who lost a house in the west to a woman they lived with?

Yep, me too!

Edited June 28, 2014 by AnotherOneAmerican

[Travelman868]

Tell her you don't like houses and buy a condo instead, in your own name, tell her that she can share the condo with you if she wants to move in.

55555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555 When will people learn. " I love you please buy me a house"

Classic signs of cupboard love.

[tagranados]

@ 12DrinkMore

I think this thread alone can give you fellows an idea of what's really going through gal's minds. I work with a lot of confidential info, so I'm not going to be too detailed. Generally, they are very disillusioned and resentful when they figure out (after their first rodeo) that you (men in general…not you personally) aren't really the wealthy king's they thought you were. Reality turns out to be not what they expected and everyone looks like a fool. It seems that this is when the trouble starts. Plus, they realize that their future is hopeless because now their chance for "real love" is ruined because no Thai man wants them for more than a roll in the hay. At the end the day, every girl wants real love.

And, fat, old men has to be something you are really into or you don't really like it. Personally, I've never been into skinny men and that's always been me. But, that is not the norm and it certainly is no different for Thai girls. They just know their job.

I'm replying because I was asked. I'm not going to go into discussions on this…that could take years of my life!

[Escarlett]

Question mark? Marrying you because really love you or marrying you because really love you to buy her a house? No offends buddy...just a question that i hope u can find the true answer not only to answer my Q but also for yourself...

[tagranados]

The idea is to never let her get enough equity in the house to make it worthwhile her dumping you and selling it.

A 10 year home loan, she can dump you after 5 years and make money.

Geddit?

Yeah, it's totally not a red flag to be in a relationship where you have to do this sort of thing ^

Nope, you need to do this sort of thing in every relationship with a woman, in nearly every country of the world.

Else the woman has a 50% chance of taking the house off you.

Judges in the west, like to award women houses.

If the bank owns most of the house it isn't a big problem for you.

If you own the house 100%, it is a problem.

Hands up who lost a house in the west to a woman they lived with?

Yep, me too!

Ummmm…it's still a red flag. Your generalizations about judges in the west don't change that anyone (regardless if they are the man or woman) who has to position themselves and maneuver in underhanded ways is in a bad relationship. I'm sorry to hear how bitter you feel. I was married to man who stole money from his daughters trust fund, and I don't spew it on everyone else. I like my point of view of the world much better than yours. The point to the original poster is that if he is getting advice like yours he needs to steer clear of the situation all together.

Edited June 28, 2014 by tagranados

[desmondspencer]

If you even need to come here for 'advice' should already raise red flags..

Buying girlfriend a house to be used as a potential dowry?

Tell her from where you come from, you prefer to rent a townhouse and see how she behaves.. any thai girl wouldnt ask her thai bf to buy her a house as dowry, quite absurd no?

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[wabothai]

My friend,

When you read in between the lines of most posts on your request, it becomes very clear that everybody is cautioning you in the proposed purchase.

My advice: live with her for a few years and then decide.

Besides 1 million does not get you anywhere.

When she gets you in, it will be get tougher and tougher.

Please listen to all the guys who have been there.

Its all up to you.

[AnotherOneAmerican]

Ummmmit's still a red flag. Your generalizations about judges in the west don't change that anyone (regardless if they are the man or woman) who has to position themselves and maneuver in underhanded ways is in a bad relationship. I'm sorry to hear how bitter you feel. I was married to man who stole money from his daughters trust fund, and I don't spew it on everyone else. I like my point of view of the world much better than yours. The point to the original poster is that if he is getting advice like yours he needs to steer clear of the situation all together.

Who put the money in the trust fund (him, you or 50/50)?

Who got the house, and who paid for it? (him, you or 50/50)?

If I were a woman, I would like my view of the world better too!

That point of view would be, gimme the house, gimme the children & gimme enough money to live the rest of my life without having to work.

Anyway back to OP,

Nothing wrong with buying love IMHO, just don't pay upfront, PAYG is much better for the man.

Edited June 28, 2014 by AnotherOneAmerican

[umbanda]

I'm liking the 25-year loan idea more now.

If she is a teacher or government employee, it is easy to get up to 2 mil loan for a house, but the max term is 66 - age of the borrower.

[y2k]

Just make sure to pay the monthlies yourself so the girlfriend doesn't have the temptation to "borrow" the mortgage payment from time to time.

Why would that matter? I have made the monthly payment to her end of story.

[tagranados]

If you were a woman, I believe you when you say that is how you would behave. But, how you are doesn't make everyone else that way.

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[jomcondo]

Keep it nice & simple..........no leases, no loans, no nothing.

Rent only.

Watch her disappear.

[AnotherOneAmerican]

Just make sure to pay the monthlies yourself so the girlfriend doesn't have the temptation to "borrow" the mortgage payment from time to time.

Why would that matter? I have made the monthly payment to her end of story.

They tend to forget to take the money along to the bank sometimes.

Or they can renegotiate the loan and repayments easily without you ever knowing.

Or you find out when the bank starts repossession and lose your deposit.

Home loans usually come with a little "credit card" (SCB) with all your details, repayment amount and date, and account number.

You take it along to any branch of the bank, with your bank book, hand them both over, no need to speak any Thai.

They deduct the repayment from your bank book, and give you a home loan repayment slip with that month's interest, that month's capital repaid, and the outstanding loan amount after your payment.

Very handy, and provides you with a paper trail showing who paid for the house, should the worst ever come to the worst.

Never put money in a ladies outstretched hand, all sorts of deception can arise from that, and the expectation of that.

[y2k]

I'll tell you something. I adore everyone when I'm having sex with them. And, seemingly the same is true for them. And, we all know things change eventually. If you buy a house for her family, be prepared to pay extra for your sex somewhere else. As a woman who works with women of different walks of life, I get the most honest earful of what women really think and it would disappoint you right now, is my fear.

Best of luck.

Then why does your profile say you are male.

[y2k]

Just make sure to pay the monthlies yourself so the girlfriend doesn't have the temptation to "borrow" the mortgage payment from time to time.

Why would that matter? I have made the monthly payment to her end of story.

They tend to forget to take the money along to the bank sometimes.

Or they can renegotiate the loan and repayments easily without you ever knowing.

Or you find out when the bank starts repossession and lose your deposit.

Home loans usually come with a little "credit card" (SCB) with all your details, repayment amount and date, and account number.

You take it along to any branch of the bank, with your bank book, hand them both over, no need to speak any Thai.

They deduct the repayment from your bank book, and give you a home loan repayment slip with that month's interest, that month's capital repaid, and the outstanding loan amount after your payment.

Very handy, and provides you with a paper trail showing who paid for the house, should the worst ever come to the worst.

Never put money in a ladies outstretched hand, all sorts of deception can arise from that, and the expectation of that.

Should I worry about that if the loan is in her name?

[makkam]

Yes - seriously.. buy the condo in YOUR OWN NAME. Only a fool would do what this woman is suggesting you do with your 1million baht. Think man! Think with your brain, not the other part.

This x 100

Really, what is it with men who meat these girls and 5 minutes later they believe in dowries and other far fetched stories?

This woman is asking for an outrageous one sided financial commitment and this man is 'wary'. Ye gods.

Edited June 28, 2014 by makkam

[Pralaad]

I do not get the OP.

He makes a post asking for advice, he receives an overwhelming response, but not what he wanted to hear and instead of accepting it, he starts to argue

OP, if you think so many are wrong, buy the damn house and stop wasting people's time.

[Robert24]

Having read some of the posts on this thread it souds like all Thai women would be really bad and only out there to scam farangs...Either I have been fortunate not to encounter that or there are many other ladies in this country as well. My advice would be to look at that girl's background, family, education, job and income. If all that is decent, and you are getting along ok with her family, her mother/ father can accept that their daughter is marrying a foreigner, then I don't think you need to worry. It has worked out for me and I've been together now for 5 years with my wife.

if her family is poor and she doesn't have much of an income, I'd be careful as money might be a big motivation factor for everything.

[xtrnuno41]

Love of your live, thats great ! I dont know how long you know her, but you are about to get married aswell.

You only dip in a part of what it cost. She looks sincere in her ways, as she is exploring the way to both names.

So do you really trust her?

If you would buy it and get married, then all is by Thai law to both partners. Just like many countries.

You can never own the land by your self, but can own the house. You could, after buying, make a contract for leasing the land to you.

And put the house on your/both names.

But only you know in what way she is to you and for you, never the less it all can change in period of time. That is with any woman !!

Or even yourself. Does she work? As you only contribute to all, So there is more money from her side?!

If you know her, trust her (should be, as you are getting married!) then go for it.

But there is nothing to say about the near or longer future and how things will go then.

It all depends on on what the true feelings are and how these will last.

Life has many uncertainties and sometimes you make an error. Get up and go on!

[cme]

Initially for her mother and son to live in but it would be ours to use at a later date.

If you met a girl in your home country and fell in love with her, would you buy her a house in her name, for her family to move into?

[MAJIC]

Tell her to pay the deposit and get the home loan as her part of the bargain.

Then you will make all the monthly payments for the next 25 years as your share.

How generous is that offer!

(Deposit on 1M, about 100k, repayments on 900k over 25y about 7k/month)

I find the idea of a 25-year loan frightening. Are there shorter term mortgages?

It's even more frightening losing your house through bad judgement,take the members advice and buy a Condo!

[tagranados]

Lol. OP, I am not a male! Didn't know I was proclaiming that. I just got this app :-) I'm def female!

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[AnotherOneAmerican]

If you would buy it and get married, then all is by Thai law to both partners. Just like many countries.

You can never own the land by your self, but can own the house. You could, after buying, make a contract for leasing the land to you.

And put the house on your/both names.

This same old rubbish gets trotted out again and again.

A foreigner can't buy a house in his name. He can only BUILD a house in his name on someone else's land.

If you buy a house that is already registered at the land office, that's it land and house in same name only.

[tagranados]

@ AnotherOneAmerican Does that mean if the Op goes through with this that the house will never be in his name unless he builds it?

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[tingtongteesood]

Tell her that you will pay half and she can pay the other half. Then if it all goes wrong you get half each at the end and nobody loses out that way. If she insists you pay for the whole house then get out while you still can and find someone who isn't just gold digging....

[BadBouy]

For a million bht,what kind of house is that,looks like you are

going to be let off cheap, this is money you can afford to loose ?,

good luck

regards worgeordie

You can fall in love once for a million baht, or you can fall in love 100,000 times for 1 million baht, seems to me the love you are getting just might be same same. It is not about what can you afford to lose, it's about spending it wisely or at the very least getting the biggest bang for your Baht. My advise find a lady that loves you with out thought of material things, well at least to a reasonable extent. Good luck with your decision.