How much do you give to your Thai girlfriend/wife? What % of your income?

[daftboy]

Hi all,

So bit of background I have a Thai girlfriend and a child together (she also has a second child from a previous Thai relationship) she stays in Isaan now with her mum. We have a plan to move together back to farrangland. This is not someone I have just met online, I have known her for best part of 5 years and have a child together.

Right now I'm supporting them and I'm curious as to what other guys give to their girlfriend/wife especially in similar situations. I should add she has no other source of income other than me and she also has to support her mother. Recently she has got more demanding and says she needs more.

So how much do you guys provide? What percentage of your monthly income do you consider fair? Or as I suspect what amount does she consider enough?

[mrtoad]

Well, what do you consider to be a fair amount?

[daftboy]

I think 15,000 baht is a fair amount (although 20,000 baht is now what I have been giving)

[mrtoad]

I think that is a decent amount to be honest, you need to be careful you don't create a monster

[claffey]

20000 baht in Issan! That's even too much for Bangkok buddy. Your supporting your girlfriend and child which is fair and right...but paying for child no 1 and the mother in law too!?. 10,000 is more than enough to live comfortably in Issan...Is your wife paying rent?.if shes not and she wants 20k she's taking you for a ride!

[daftboy]

Yes the last few months she has been pushing me up to 20,000 with numerous reasons as to why she needs more.

Think partly because her mother / sister want her to go to 'work' and she has started complaining about how much 'bad' girls in her village get.

One girl is getting 50,000 (from a farrang who wants to take her abroad) she says (despite being fat and having a Thai husband who she lives with) and

lots of stories about how she doesn't ask for big money 30,000 or 40,000.

Then lots of stories about what farrang boyfriends / husbands have done for other girls in her village.

I fear she may be turning into that monster!

[luckyluke]

she may

She is

[BKKSnowBird]

20k is more than she would make in a job in Issan.

[daftboy]

20000 baht in Issan! That's even too much for Bangkok buddy. Your supporting your girlfriend and child which is fair and right...but paying for child no 1 and the mother in law too!?. 10,000 is more than enough to live comfortably in Issan...Is your wife paying rent?.if shes not and she wants 20k she's taking you for a ride!

Not paying any rent, last month she said she needed 4,000 extra to pay for 2 tutors for number 1 child, this month says she has to pay for taking number 1 to hospital as he has had some behavioral problems. Last month she had to pay for our child for hospital treatment.

This month she says she has got through 9,000 in 1 week! I asked how she said 1,600 on hospital for number 1 and then has to give 3,000 towards a notebook for number 1 (says her sister will put 10,000 towards this).

I think the last few months she has got greedy, I should also add I was last in LOS in April when I gave her a one off 50,000 she was suppose to get the floor tiled in her mums house where she stays. Says this would be good for my son to stop insects etc.., coming in in rainy season.

Instead she spent it on her mothers 'farm' says this was a one off investment and her mum will put the land in her name.

[lanng khao]

What do you earn a month?are you finding it hard running 2 homes, looks to me like she is slightly avin the kecks off ya, but she is lookin after your child so she's got you by the ham Kai's, gunner be a hard one without it ending in tears, there will allways be somthing that crops up to relieve you of your hard earned disposable income each month..

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[kjhbigv]

"One girl is getting 50,000"....don't believe a word of it!

[wprime]

20000 baht in Issan! That's even too much for Bangkok buddy. Your supporting your girlfriend and child which is fair and right...but paying for child no 1 and the mother in law too!?. 10,000 is more than enough to live comfortably in Issan...Is your wife paying rent?.if shes not and she wants 20k she's taking you for a ride!

There are a lot of unexpected costs you're not considering.

E.g. what if the buffalo gets sick?

what if the motorbike is stolen?

what if her brother needs bail money?

what if her grandmother gets sick?

All of these things may happen to OP's girlfriend/wife on a monthly basis.

[lanng khao]

Especially if she's got a arse on her like a Bombay money lender..

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[David48]

Has the steam ran out of the Farang Thread already ...

daftboy ... very remiss of me to have not noticed you before.

Joined 5 years ago.

Welcome to Thai Visa ...

[96tehtarp]

Before your relationship goes completely down the tubes legalize your parenthood of your child - ASAP!

"We have a plan to move together back to farrangland."

Do it as soon as possible. Your present situation is unworkable.

"I should add she has no other source of income other than me and she also has to support her mother."

She is supporting not only her mother and the two children but everybody. She's handing your hard earned money to everyone in her village by the fist full, and probably gambling or supporting a Thai lover on the side. I hate to tell you that but unfortunately it is incredibly common. Your girlfriend probably isn't any different than the rest. Tell her to get a job.

"So how much do you guys provide?"

15 years ago when I "provided" it was 2000 baht per month. I opened a Thai bank account online, later got a VOIP account with TOT netcall so I could keep tabs on her, and I paid all the bills I chose to pay online myself. If she needed an extra few baht I'd transfer it to her in small amounts 3-4 hundred at a time. These girls can't handle money. Never give her the entire months "salary" in a lump sum. She play the Lottery with it, up to 10,000 per month.

"What percentage of your monthly income do you consider fair? "

Anything more than you can afford is too much. I know guys who give their girlfriends, who were former prostitutes, 150,000.00 baht per month and buy them Benzes.

"Or as I suspect what amount does she consider enough?"

Absolutely as much as she can get from you without any regard whatsoever for how much you can afford.

"I fear she may be turning into that monster!"

First impressions are usually correct. You know best.

"last month she said she needed 4,000 extra to pay for 2 tutors for number 1 child, this month says she has to pay for taking number 1 to hospital as he has had some behavioral problems. Last month she had to pay for our child for hospital treatment. "

Get her to send you the bills, scanned via email. Check them carefully, and pay them online if possible. Hospital treatment is free in Thailand. If she's using an expensive private hospital, you can review the invoice and then reimburse her.

Good luck, you are going to need it.

[daftboy]

What do you earn a month?are you finding it hard running 2 homes, looks to me like she is slightly avin the kecks off ya, but she is lookin after your child so she's got you by the ham Kai's, gunner be a hard one without it ending in tears, there will allways be somthing that crops up to relieve you of your hard earned disposable income each month..

Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

Exactly feel she's trying to get as much as possible, she wasn't always like this but last few months she's talking so much, a lot of these things I'm not sure I believe, but what can you do she's looking after my child, can hardly say no.

And actually when I have this month she gone ape****

[AYJAYDEE]

What do you earn a month?are you finding it hard running 2 homes, looks to me like she is slightly avin the kecks off ya, but she is lookin after your child so she's got you by the ham Kai's, gunner be a hard one without it ending in tears, there will allways be somthing that crops up to relieve you of your hard earned disposable income each month..

Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

Exactly feel she's trying to get as much as possible, she wasn't always like this but last few months she's talking so much, a lot of these things I'm not sure I believe, but what can you do she's looking after my child, can hardly say no.

And actually when I have this month she gone ape****

you can arrange for someone to receive money for the kids food and school and medical and tell her youre through supporting her

[thairastawoman]

They need only 5000 in ESAAN. And they should save on that !

[TallGuyJohninBKK]

It's hard to know who's the moving/instigating party here, the lady or her Mom...

But, I would say, there are lots of places in Isaan where farang guys are attached to former or current bar girls, and end up paying (stupidly in my opinion) big money per month (20, 30 or 50K or more) and/or paying for (in local terms) fancy new houses for the lady and extended family. The guys may be living here, but also instead, may be living abroad with future plans to move and for now earning farang salaries in their home country.

I say this because, I've run into personal experience situations in the past where there becomes a lot of pressure felt by the girl herself, or imposed on the girl by her Mom or family, to not lose face/keep up with other families/girls in their village/area who may have a generous farang sponsor. The girl herself may be greedy, but the family may also be piling on since the girl may also be the main source of support for the entire family group.

And, if other girls in the village have hit the farang jackpot, then there's kind of the expectation that your girl and her family ought to be able to do equally well with her farang. And it may be hard for you to figure out whether your girl is simply greedy, or, perhaps her Mom/parents/family are pressuring her, and many Thai women have a hard time saying NO to their Moms about almost anything.

That's not the kind of relationship/arrangement I'd ever want to put myself into, and I haven't, fortunately. I did have an ex-GF with whom I thought I was building a good relationship bail on me after we met her parents for the first time in their home city, and I refused to commit to building a new house for them (this after having known her but a few months, and certainly not married or even talking about it, at that point).

But, I didn't have any children to be responsible for as part of the equation, and that changes the dynamics a bit.

I'm happily married now, my wife works at a full time job, and she sends 10K a month to support her Mom and Dad, who are elderly and have a very simple life, out of her own salary. Our basic agreement is, I support her, and it's up to her how she wants to support her parents and anyone else in her immediate family.

[claffey]

I hate to say it, because you have a child with this girl, but it doesnt look good.ive being married to my wife ten yrs and she's never looked for money.we live together and spend our money together...if I were you I would go to Thai and visit her village.see what she, s spent the money on and get a passport For your child...these wimen frim Issan are very materialistic and compete with each other to show who has the most money...your girl doesnt sound any different im sorry to say! Good luck!

[benalibina]

Recipe for disaster...written all over it. You cant control peerpressure from distance. Wait how it goes for a while. If it walks, quacks and flies like a duck, it is most likely a duck. If you care for your child and want him/her to be educated in your homecountry focus on that. Play the game with her...if she is a duck ofcourse.....so you can get your kid away from the village.

Monthly stipend for her and 2 kids.....12 k max a month.

Edited August 3, 2014 by benalibina

[Jessi]

daftboy, they are having a go at you...and I think your having a go,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,TROLL

I give my wife 3,000B a month weather she needs it or not.

[Jessi]

There is one just up the road here in the village, when the falang husband returns to Europe the Thai husband moves in...common knowledge.

[NanLaew]

The wife is living at home in bahn nork with mum, isn't working and even mum says she need to get a 'job'.

You need to kiss you MiL and tell your wife to get a real job.

In the meantime, 15k/month is adequate. If she needs more, she can try being a 'bad' girl.

[kurnell]

Before your relationship goes completely down the tubes legalize your parenthood of your child - ASAP!

"We have a plan to move together back to farrangland."

Do it as soon as possible. Your present situation is unworkable.

"I should add she has no other source of income other than me and she also has to support her mother."

She is supporting not only her mother and the two children but everybody. She's handing your hard earned money to everyone in her village by the fist full, and probably gambling or supporting a Thai lover on the side. I hate to tell you that but unfortunately it is incredibly common. Your girlfriend probably isn't any different than the rest. Tell her to get a job.

"So how much do you guys provide?"

15 years ago when I "provided" it was 2000 baht per month. I opened a Thai bank account online, later got a VOIP account with TOT netcall so I could keep tabs on her, and I paid all the bills I chose to pay online myself. If she needed an extra few baht I'd transfer it to her in small amounts 3-4 hundred at a time. These girls can't handle money. Never give her the entire months "salary" in a lump sum. She play the Lottery with it, up to 10,000 per month.

"What percentage of your monthly income do you consider fair? "

Anything more than you can afford is too much. I know guys who give their girlfriends, who were former prostitutes, 150,000.00 baht per month and buy them Benzes.

"Or as I suspect what amount does she consider enough?"

Absolutely as much as she can get from you without any regard whatsoever for how much you can afford.

"I fear she may be turning into that monster!"

First impressions are usually correct. You know best.

"last month she said she needed 4,000 extra to pay for 2 tutors for number 1 child, this month says she has to pay for taking number 1 to hospital as he has had some behavioral problems. Last month she had to pay for our child for hospital treatment. "

Get her to send you the bills, scanned via email. Check them carefully, and pay them online if possible. Hospital treatment is free in Thailand. If she's using an expensive private hospital, you can review the invoice and then reimburse her.

Good luck, you are going to need it.

150,000 baht per month???

[96tehtarp]

Anything more than you can afford is too much. I know guys who give their girlfriends, who were former prostitutes, 150,000.00 baht per month and buy them Benzes.

150,000 baht per month???

Sorry, a guy. I know ONE guy, otherwise you read it correctly. Plus an E-class Mercedes Benz which she uses to drive into Bangkok and party at the most expensive clubs while her husband is away, or at home. This is an extreme case. It's also 100% true.

Edited August 3, 2014 by 96tehtarp

[HooHaa]

nothing. i have never dated a woman who was not independent.

[giddyup]

20,000 baht a month. Out of that she buys all the food (except when we eat out) and pays electric and water bills.

[kurnell]

Anything more than you can afford is too much. I know guys who give their girlfriends, who were former prostitutes, 150,000.00 baht per month and buy them Benzes.

150,000 baht per month???

Sorry, a guy. I know ONE guy, otherwise you read it correctly. Plus an E-class Mercedes Benz which she uses to drive into Bangkok and party at the most expensive clubs while her husband is away, or at home. This is an extreme case. It's also 100% true.

You can understand why your story is extremely dubious. Guys that can afford to throw away $5000 per month are not generally interested in bar girls. Assume this chap works offshore

[thailiketoo]

My wife works. I don't think any amount of money is fair. If I needed a caretaker I'd hire one of the extra girls in the family and pay 3000 plus room and board. If my wife didn't work and I did not live with her 24/7 I wouldn't do it. If I lived in the family home 24/7 and wife stayed home I'd keep the money and dole it out as necessary. If I get old and can't do that, I'd give her all the money and she would do the same thing.

Not to insult anyone but the long distance relationships and money by mail scheme is just asking for trouble. If you can't live here don't do it. If you want a Western woman stay home and get one. If you don't expect a Thai woman to change into a Western women after living in the West .......... up to you but I think it is the same as marriage to a Western woman.