How much do you give to your Thai girlfriend/wife? What % of your income?

[Kanthralak 1]

20k is more than she would make in a job in Issan.

Is that a reason for not paying it? 20K sounds very reasonable if she's supporting a kid and no doubt some of her extended family.

I think we all know and have to accept that when we get involved with a Thai partner you must expect the immediate family to benefit from your inclusion into their family. A relationship with a Thai is never just the two of you. We have to accept she comes with baggage that's a given.

Also let me say the Thai way is a good way. Looking after aging family members is fantastic. If only we had more of this attitude in the west. Unfortunately in the west we grow up being taught independence. In Thailand the family unit is still very strong for the majority of the families. You are fortunate to be in the allowed into the family, best just to accept their ways, its their country and we have left ours, choosing to live here. In addition its nice that older men get to go to bed with younger sexy women albeit for a price.

Its the price one pays for the privilege of living here. So what is expensive for one is cheap for another. We all have pockets that differ in depth..

I've tried living on 20000 Bht S^%t my beer soon ran out. Thailand isn't that cheap any more. Ha Ha ha even the "Bad Girls" in Bangkok, have up their prices. You ain't going to get much change these days for 2000Bht for a bit of nookie.

Yes if your lady stays in the village and resorts to the life style she had before she met you she could very happily live on 20000Bht per month. But then why have a Farang husband/boy friend if your life doesn't change. So if she opens up her arms for you and lets you in, she has a right to expect a better life, similar to the one you are leading. That is if you step into those open arms.

[mickyboy]

i be intrested to see you get her back to farang land now they tighten up the imergration laws wife or not

[benalibina]

20k is more than she would make in a job in Issan.

Is that a reason for not paying it? 20K sounds very reasonable if she's supporting a kid and no doubt some of her extended family.

I think we all know and have to accept that when we get involved with a Thai partner you must expect the immediate family to benefit from your inclusion into their family. A relationship with a Thai is never just the two of you. We have to accept she comes with baggage that's a given.

Also let me say the Thai way is a good way. Looking after aging family members is fantastic. If only we had more of this attitude in the west. Unfortunately in the west we grow up being taught independence. In Thailand the family unit is still very strong for the majority of the families. You are fortunate to be in the allowed into the family, best just to accept their ways, its their country and we have left ours, choosing to live here. In addition its nice that older men get to go to bed with younger sexy women albeit for a price.

Its the price one pays for the privilege of living here. So what is expensive for one is cheap for another. We all have pockets that differ in depth..

I've tried living on 20000 Bht S^%t my beer soon ran out. Thailand isn't that cheap any more. Ha Ha ha even the "Bad Girls" in Bangkok, have up their prices. You ain't going to get much change these days for 2000Bht for a bit of nookie.

Yes if your lady stays in the village and resorts to the life style she had before she met you she could very happily live on 20000Bht per month. But then why have a Farang husband/boy friend if your life doesn't change. So if she opens up her arms for you and lets you in, she has a right to expect a better life, similar to the one you are leading. That is if you step into those open arms.

Probably well intended but a very very naive comment on most aspects.

Those open arms.......with deep pockets..... for them.

[Thaiberius]

You can be 99.9% certain that if you are sending money then she will be supplementing her income one way or another.

The short answer to your question is whatever you are sending won't be enough.

My advice, send nothing.

[daftboy]

Well, just some general observations from living in a village for quite a while now - as you know, others will be in her ear regularly - so, it might not be a bad dispostion, as peer pressure, which weighs heavy here as she is probably being told she is stupid. I think with being out of town, it more resembles the relationships that bargirls have w/customers and that is the scope of the advice - which leans toward 'get as much as you can' - - I think these issues could disappear if/when you are living together. I hope for you - -

And ps - no Thai lady calculates or even considers what % of your income is being given - they see amount and measure it against what the neighbor is getting.

I think you have a hit the nail on the head! She had been telling me for a while many people she knows say she is stupid waiting for me. They have said her English is good and she should go to'work'.

She tells me her sister has told her she needs to think about what she has or does not have! Meaning she should get herself a new house, etc... Suggesting she should leave and find a richer farrang.

Yes I hope this 'get all you can' attitude disappears when she moves to farrangland with me.

[daftboy]

It might be noted that the gal is quite happy to put the acid on you for money, even to support the other child. Is that father still around? If so, does she hit him

up for any child support? No mention is made of her extracting a few quid from that guy. Additionally, as far are the gal's mother goes, her siblings can kick the

tin for her as well, not just you.

No the other Father is Thai and doesn't give a single baht and never has done. He now has a new family with a different lady.

Her other siblings contribute very little or nothing to support their mother.

[daftboy]

if your girl continues to be pressured by others around her to extract more and more , then no way think of bringing her to your home country, it will most likely end in disaster ,costing much more.girls with this type of thinking and attitudes probably need to stay in the bar, not sure they can ever change their ways, they are so easily influenced by others, and jealous of 'stories" from others.they dont even have to have come from a bar background, some still think like this when have farang bf. but first try setting them up somewhere away from the leaches, and see how that goes . having said that , i dont think 20k for 2 kids is totally taking the piss just yet, but brace yourself , it will get worse.

Exactly what I'm thinking now, she is easily influenced by others and I'm starting to think a lot about how much damage she could do to me here. But then once some of those Bad influences are removed perhaps she might OK.

[ggt]

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I must say that I have no experience in this matter whatsoever as I live here with my wife and children and we share EVERYTHING !

I always thought that was how marriages are supposed to work.

She also works her butt off on our farms (physically as well as administratively), so why not ?

I trust her.

Everyone should be so lucky !

I know I will get the normal crap from you guys.

But save it.

I have been here for 30 years and have heard it all.

We've been together for almost 15 years now.

Soon she will be doing more work then me anyway as she is 14 years younger alt=clap2.gif>

There is no way to give you our normal crap...if you have been here 30 years...you have been crapped on regularly by better crappers than are on this forum...I suggest doubling up on your Viagra...and get the GPS option to track your wife when she start disappearing...

[daftboy]

pay for hospital??? IT'S FREE, man

50k for tiles? Golden floor now?

She's indeed a monster already. Be careful

This morning I called her and she is crying, says our child is very sick she will take him to hospital.

Later today I call her and she says she has no money left, she has spent 10,000 in one week. She needs more to pay hospital bills etc.. I sat but hospital is free, she just said she went to a clinic and she didn't have money to pay.

Explained that she spent 5,000 on a notebook for child number 1 (with Ex Thai bf).

Hmmm here we go again, there is something every month.

But she suggested Dr thinks our child may have been bitten by a mosquito and has to go back to hospital in couple of days. How do I know if its true or is it a ruse to get money? Not the first time she has said she needed extra money for medicine and hospital etc... Although I do know at least some of the occasions have been genuine.

I tried asking for receipts and said I would pay the hospital direct, she didn't want to know about this!

Edited August 5, 2014 by daftboy

[KuhnPaen]

Was in same situation (still am I guess), and when the GF lived in Isaan, I sent her 10-15k/month (for everybody).

In BKK, I paid 6k for a decent apt. and send her the same amount.

BKK isn't cheap and babies even less so. I've gone as high as 30k/month and that kept complaints to a minimum and everyone seemed sabai sabai.

Do they live on less without a farang? Oh, you bet they do.

With a farang in the family--not so much.

Just face it....you're fckd....you are so royally fckd.

welcome to the club.

[David48]

Time, for me, to let this thread fly free.

Chow ...

[Thaiberius]

Why send money?

It won't guarantee you chastity.

It won't buy you loyalty.

It won't buy you honesty.

If a girl is getting 20,000 off you then you can be sure she's seeking another 20,000 from somebody else.

Great fun short term but anything deeper you will get stung.

[pendingo]

Get her to sit down with you and sort out a monthly budget. Tell her she has to show you all the bills. If you don't see a bill don't pay it regardless of what she says the money is for. As regards the family you took them on as soon as you entered into a relationship with her so I'm afraid you will have to give some leeway there. Learn to say no more often and tell her don't believe any bullshit from her friends about what they allegedly get each month. Some of it may be true but you can only give her what you can afford. There may be tears and tantrums and possible threats of finding another farang but I think she knows what side her bread is buttered on but make sure she knows the consequences of any dalliance. As regards your son see a lawyer about being his legal guardian. I've been married now for seven years to my Thai wife and although it hasn't all been a bowl of cherries it works and I think the world of her still.

[nottocus]

pay for hospital??? IT'S FREE, man

50k for tiles? Golden floor now?

She's indeed a monster already. Be careful

This morning I called her and she is crying, says our child is very sick she will take him to hospital.

Later today I call her and she says she has no money left, she has spent 10,000 in one week. She needs more to pay hospital bills etc.. I sat but hospital is free, she just said she went to a clinic and she didn't have money to pay.

Explained that she spent 5,000 on a notebook for child number 1 (with Ex Thai bf).

Hmmm here we go again, there is something every month.

But she suggested Dr thinks our child may have been bitten by a mosquito and has to go back to hospital in couple of days. How do I know if its true or is it a ruse to get money? Not the first time she has said she needed extra money for medicine and hospital etc... Although I do know at least some of the occasions have been genuine.

I tried asking for receipts and said I would pay the hospital direct, she didn't want to know about this!

One nightmare after another

Why don't you just give her all your money and then you won't have to worry about it anymore.

She'll give you an allowance every month and all will be dandy.

Or you could man the freak up and tell her to stop trying to screw you.

[MonkeyLoo]

What a mob of stingy old bastards you lot,,,, must be stingy poms,,,,,If the lady is his GF,,, (and loves her),,, and looks after the kids ,pays rent and the norm is to help the mother some then then I would say 20 K PM isn't that much of a spoil if you can afford that,if you can't afford that you should not have put yourself in that predicament

Put it in perspective mate.

The OP is paying her 4X what she would earn.

Back home if you got 4x what you could earn, maybe thats $200,000 per year? I dont know what you earn but isnt that the reality?

Sent from my GT-N7100 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[AnotherOneAmerican]

pay for hospital??? IT'S FREE, man

50k for tiles? Golden floor now?

She's indeed a monster already. Be careful

This morning I called her and she is crying, says our child is very sick she will take him to hospital.

Later today I call her and she says she has no money left, she has spent 10,000 in one week. She needs more to pay hospital bills etc.. I sat but hospital is free, she just said she went to a clinic and she didn't have money to pay.

Explained that she spent 5,000 on a notebook for child number 1 (with Ex Thai bf).

Hmmm here we go again, there is something every month.

But she suggested Dr thinks our child may have been bitten by a mosquito and has to go back to hospital in couple of days. How do I know if its true or is it a ruse to get money? Not the first time she has said she needed extra money for medicine and hospital etc... Although I do know at least some of the occasions have been genuine.

I tried asking for receipts and said I would pay the hospital direct, she didn't want to know about this!

Troll alert!

Bye bye from me too.

[SouthernMan3]

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I must say that I have no experience in this matter whatsoever as I live here with my wife and children and we share EVERYTHING !

I always thought that was how marriages are supposed to work.

She also works her butt off on our farms (physically as well as administratively), so why not ?

I trust her.

Everyone should be so lucky !

I know I will get the normal crap from you guys.

But save it.

I have been here for 30 years and have heard it all.

We've been together for almost 15 years now.

Soon she will be doing more work then me anyway as she is 14 years younger alt=clap2.gif>

There is no way to give you our normal crap...if you have been here 30 years...you have been crapped on regularly by better crappers than are on this forum...I suggest doubling up on your Viagra...and get the GPS option to track your wife when she start disappearing...

Ha, that's good for a morning laugh, thanks

No need to double up as I don't, as of yet, need any pills

As for GPS, no need, you just don't know my wife.

And I doubt you ever will.

Have a great and noble day

[godden]

i think you should be asking yourself what money she would have each month if she didn't have a falang boyfriend, maybe 5 or 6 thousand baht if she was lucky, living in issan

[carstenp]

Well... I don't give my girlfriend any money. I'm against it. I pay everything. School, food, rent, car, motorbike, electricity, water, close and so on. So on some way I still giving here I good life.

Another thing, nobody says is against the law to find a job the make living or savings. Because you have a farang don't mean you don't have to work.

My thai teacher told me a story, where she was a translater between a English old man and his young wife. The wife want to explain to the husband, she was a young woman, and was not happy with here husband, because he was only giving here 10000 baht month. So she ask the tranlater to explain to him, if she did't get 20000 baht month she will leave him. The old man say okay.

Many relationship down here between old man and young women's , is just business

[glegolo]

My piece of the puzzle for what it is worth. I like to comment only because I find some answers most likely to be called ignorant...And they are being posted mostly by people that havent left off their arsle from the barstol in Pattaya or Bangkok yet, EVER....

In my little world here in isaan, I have tyhe following money monthly that we spend in my family.....in round figures 18.000 baht food + drinks sometimes during the month.

To mention 5.000 baht is not even close, it is just shit-talk without any reason or thought behind it.

Glegolo

Dear Glegolo ... you been on the Forum for a fair while and you're a solid poster, but I'm really surprised by what you penned above.

Just because you can't imagine it ... doesn't mean it doesn't happen.

Effectively, you have just called me a liar for the amount that I mentioned it costs to keep my partner with our new-born twins boys.

In Thailand, almost every situation is different.

As for getting my ass off a Bar Stool ...

David48, first of all I apploud you for at least TRY to take care of your off spring!!! Why dont you try to take care of them up to 100% than. It is a shame really to suggest to people that 5.000 lousy f:#ng baht should be enought to keep a mother and her two children with food and a descent living up in Isaan for a whole month.

Dont even try with that crap...We who actually lives up here and see the prices at Big C, MAKRO, Tesco Lotus amongst others we find 5.000 baht cheap and nasty...David48 I do not know where in hell you are living but you are NOT living in Isaan, Try to take a trip up to your childrens mother, and really see and learn what life is up here and what the pricerange really is...A cup of coffee 35-45 baht....An icecream 30 baht..

Finally YES you might be right with your 5.000 baht.. If your childrens mother can make food 3 times a day for 3 people each costing not even lousy 20 baht... Than they can survive...and I think SURVIVE is what you offer your children nothing more than that... Staying home 100% of the time, and eating home 100% of the time, never get out and have a life..... nice future for your boys..

Glegolo

Edited August 6, 2014 by glegolo

[heybuz]

Nothing,I paid for house I told her she is now responsible for it there will be no more money.she has two daughters husband left them over two years ago and this year she divorced him.i had certain amount of money I could afford and that was it.she has a stall at the local school and that's her income.for three months of the year they are on holidays.so its cheaper for me to pay airfares to my country,,than to send money here. I am lucky the eldest girl is my spy and regards me as her father,so I receive a lot of info on what's happening when I'm not around,so far all good.

[96tehtarp]

Listen, firstly don't listen to all that one girl is getting this and the other that, its all a load of crap, Thai girls dont usually go around the village blabbing how much they make, even the fat one living with her Thai husband,

It's all Gossip don't get me wrong there are some guys throwing money around like fools but after a couple of months and the last Thai trip is out of the blood it soon stops. 20,000 per month for 12 months is better than 40,000 for 3 months ,,,

20,000 per month is easily enough for a woman and 2 kids to live on, and save some along the way,, tell her your saving for your future together with the kids and you cant be throwing money away, if that does not statisfy her then its time to reprogram i.e. make sure the next payment is late and don't reply to calls or SMS's for a week or so,, see how the attitude changes

Good luck

I think you are wrong. They talk about everything, including number of times you are having sex and the size of your pistolero.

Wat dee, I agree with you.

I too disagree with the entire first paragraph of Dublin's post (above). In the villages many Thai women and men, sit and talk ad infinitum almost exclusively about every small detail of other people's personal business. The extent to which they do this is a function of what kind of people they are.

This relates to the OP as he feels the GF is under pressure to compete with the other woman who also have foreigners sending money from abroad. She almost certainly is.

Other helpful posters in this thread have suggested that the OP should extract his GF from the Isaan environment and bring her to his home country. Often the very first thing these ladies do when brought to Europe is connect with the community of Thai ladies of the same sort.

Is see many very good Thai-Western marriages in Europe and I believe the key to their success is incredibly simple. It's wife selection. The first step.

[luckylarry]

I can,t be the only one to have a good Thai Wife we have been together nearly thirty years now, we have a 21 year old Daughter who has a good job in Bangkok 35 to 50,000 baht per month with prospects, my wife was a poor simple Issan girl working in a hotel just 2000 bant per month, our story we did not start with to much just 5000 UK pounds, I new about how to earn money, but I lost just about every thing in the big recession back in the 80s, perhaps it was easier back then to survive back then in Thailand, but we did better than that we slowly went forward now my lovely kind very kind wife is considered comfortable by most and is a respected Lady, I know it sounds a bit corny but you have to start with a good girl, after about six month's of meeting her I was a bit skint she gave me all of her savings 10,000 baht, it has been a long haul but now she owns her own resort outright, ( she jokes that she made a wise investment ) if we done it you sure can as you can see I am not that Educated but triers we where, as for bar girls a few of my friends where lucky some extremely lucky but sorry yo say not many. If you need advice ask LA

[96tehtarp]

Get her to send you the bills, scanned via email. Check them carefully, and pay them online if possible. Hospital treatment is free in Thailand. If she's using an expensive private hospital, you can review the invoice and then reimburse her.

Good luck, you are going to need it.

Most bills are written in Thai. Most of the farang husbands me included, cant read them.

True. Thanks for bringing that up. I'm also a farang husband who can't read Thai.

I can read my wife's first and last name, and our postal address. At first it was very difficult. I had to painstakingly match up all the squiggles and squagles, and curlycues to make sure they were the same.

The bills have the amounts due written in western format. The dates are a bit tricky as the months (due date) is usually abbreviated. The abbreviated notations of Thai months can be found by doing a web search. They are not that difficult. There are only 12 of them.

I also have several Thai people on-tap who are educated, and who I trust as much as is possible. They help me when I'm in over my my head. I couldn't live here without trustworthy Thai friends; couldn't survive without them. Maybe the OP could find some in his home country. They are out there.

The OP could ask his girlfriend to also scan copies of her ID card, and Tabian Bahn - all pages (every single page). If he could get a copy of the land title deed that would be all the better.

Important things to look for:

• On her ID card is she Miss, or Mrs.
• The names of all the people registered on the Tabian Bahn.
• The name of the registered owner of the land in question.

Trust but verify.

[duidui45]

Hi !

Well i give my wife since 13 years back 50% of what i take out every month.That adds up to 25-->30k/month.No money to child(ren) (17 years old and now JUST had a baby..ohh my Budda),no money for mother or father..The only we might help with is to pay Insurance for either mother or father.

No talk about money at our house...Btw,my wife also run a small Restaurant in Issan..so she have enough.

No car and everything rented..atleast for now..And to add to my story is that everytime my wife goes for deposit att 4 diffrent banks they always ask if we don't want a to loan money for a car or house..My wife says,when we know we ask..They says tha<t her bankstatement is very beautiful..ALWAYS pay in time,always take care of small credit we have on our two creditcards..

Have a good day to you all..God bless Thailand..

[chrissables]

I think 15,000 baht is a fair amount (although 20,000 baht is now what I have been giving)

I live on 20k a month! No rent as i bought the house, but i live very well on that, in Issan or most places that is generous, but not needed.

[khunpa]

Anything more than you can afford is too much. I know guys who give their girlfriends, who were former prostitutes, 150,000.00 baht per month and buy them Benzes.

150,000 baht per month???

Sorry, a guy. I know ONE guy, otherwise you read it correctly. Plus an E-class Mercedes Benz which she uses to drive into Bangkok and party at the most expensive clubs while her husband is away, or at home. This is an extreme case. It's also 100% true.

Our landlord owns 5 large pool houses. Not bad for a woman from Isaan with 6 years education.

Her Farang husband died nearly two months ago and she is now in Norway to visit her new boyfriend. I wonder how many houses she will manage to get off him.

To the OP:

I would run now and find the best way to support my kid going forward. With a wife like that, you will only have problems and no matter what you provide, it will never be enough. Better to save the money for your kid and find a way to make sure the kid benefits from the money.

[McQwaid]

Interesting thread for me. There are many different perspectives to make. I like the guys who give a good amount of money to create abundance. I like the idea of my woman and kid living really good. iPads and travel and fun and strong car and the best food etc ... why wouldn't I? In Canada, this would definitely be the case. Especially if she is super attractive and educated with a good trustworthy heart. One would provide abundance to a woman like this as much as possible. Heck, take the whole paycheck! - we are one and I'm the luckiest schmuck in the world. End of story.

many of the replies apply to this kind of scenario ...

However, this kind of scenario is not common for a Western / Thai (Issaan) relationship. Some , yes, but very few, I think.

So when replying to the OP, one should consider which scene he has got?

IMO, statistically speaking, he most likely has the scenario that most readers know about through experience and stories from others. An absentee western partner with a long distance relationship with an Isaan girl and children very often a relationship with difficulties and misunderstandings.

Very often is the case:

... they can't budget wisely

... they do disperse the money to their family

... they do compare their farang money to other Thai women with farang money

... they will maximize their wants and needs without fair compromise

... they really don't love you

... they have a Thai boyfriend

... they see you as an ATM

... they lie to you

... they are surviving and coping in an unstable world with an unpredictable future

Therefore, it is statistically safe to assume the OP is in this situation, and responses will be given accordingly. Hence, the restrictive " put your footdown" - " establish a fair minimum contribution yourself " kinda attitude, because you can't trust her to do this for you. She has no limits to her needs and wants. You will very likely drained of your hard earned resources without the appropriate sense of respect a man requires.Unfortunate, but often true.

Those that have a real wife or partner with true love and understanding of the big sustainable picture ... that's great. Millions of us in the West have the same. But very few of us have this in Thailand. Yet, we are still involved out of misunderstanding the culture and now trapped because we did not wear a condom.

It's a tough spot, and it can easily happen to any of us.

I had a 3 year relationship with a middle class Hua Hin girl - MBA educated with good English but with that common low paying long hour job. We lived together. She loved me. BUT ... she could not help herself when it came to financial thinking. She absolutely had to share her increased standard of living with her divorced mother and younger brother. She wanted money. Me paying for everything was not enough. She needed her mother and brother to benefit too. I understand her. But, at the same time, I felt their standard of living was fine. Better than my poor Mom! She just wanted to be "the one" for them. Admirable, yes, but I told her that it was uncomfortable for me to have my money move in that "unnecessary" direction so she could feel like the "best older sibling/daughter provider" .

I left her because she did not stop with her pressure tactics and complaining. You can say she played her cards right to the end. Now she wants me back and promises never to mention money again. She is truly heart broken and I was too. We were both a good match - young, attractive, ambitious, fun loving ... BUT culture in the end dominated. I can never go back. I was exhausted and so disappointed she would not settle for what she had. She has now truly learned " a bird in the hand is worth 2 in the bush ". But she would never consider this until I finally walked away. Now, it's too late. I'm not "in love" with her anymore. It was literally drained out of me. Now, she just feels like my beautiful mess of a sister. Sad really.

Anyways, my advice to the OP is too seriously consider the best case scenario of a child care relationship. It is not likely things will turn out good from here ... she has already played a few cards that can't be taken back and usually means negative future consequences.

Good luck to ya mate. I hope you can make the likely drawn out future hardship as minimal as possible by making a difficult choice now ... only focus on the child now.

[Franky Bear]

Is there anyone else like me that thinks there's so much wrong in these "deals" struck up between the man and his Mrs?

I want my Mrs and kids to be as comfortable as possible, so they get way more than 20K a month (my Mrs is born and bread on U-Tapo and she only has her mum who never asks for much at all as far as i know)

[canarysun]

Well now that we are on the subject of " Paying for Thai Ladies " ( nightly or on a monthly basis ..)

I am single and live alone ( although a bloody nice bloke may i add ) I have become rather friendly with a thai lady who lives in the same soi as myself ( only friends viewers.. ) She was telling me that she has 5 different farang sending her 10,000 baht a month and so she does fantastically well with her monthly budget.But she keeps " pestering me " and trying to lure me into her room for some FREE " hows your father " ( Sex ) I have declined her " kind offer " on numerous occasions ( perhaps you could all just admire my honesty... ) She is NOT my type ( although she rides her motor bike like " The 4 O'Clock at Aintree " ) Because i am not interested she continues to chase after me ( most upsetting to say the least viewers... ) Yesterday i asked her why she wanted free " horizontal refreshment " with me so much when she has an army of farang who finance the deal..? she said " i don't like any of them,the sex is terrible and i only use them to finance my life "

She still continues to chase after me......

God Bless You All Viewers!

farang jaidee