The end of it. Any chance to get my money back?

[Derailed]

Hey folks, here's my story.

I've been together with my wife for 4 years but got married only recently in March. Something happened a few weeks back that made me suspect that she's not being faithful. I started digging and discovered things I didn't want to believe. I don't have any solid proof of her infidelity, not yet, but I thought it might be time for me to prepare and have an exit plan ready. Even if it turns out that I might be wrong about her, it's still good to have a plan.

Over the years I brought in enough money into the country, always in cash. Normally money gets exchanged at one of the money changers like superrich, then it gets deposited into our joint account. Only once I brought in a lot of cash in one go that I had to declare it and I kept that declaration form, thought I might needed it.

Right now there's about 1.5 million baht in the house, car, 2 bikes and other bits and pieces.

Right now there's about 2.2 million baht in our joint account and in her gold trading account (most of it in gold).

I only want the cash back, she can keep the material things.

As a proof that this is my money, I have:

- the declaration form showing me bringing in cash in foreign currency in equivalent of roughly 1.5 million baht.

- our chats when she told me (during our fights and arguments), that she will give me all my money back (mentioning the amount) next time I come back from work.

Will this be enough of the proof for the lawyers and courts that the money belong to me?

If yes then will it be possible to freeze her gold trading account so the money from there don't disappear?

Note: she quit working 3 years ago. We don't have any children together (thanks god!) I will see a lawyer once I save a solid proof of her infidelity.

P.S.

- I'm not looking for a pity.

- If you don't know the answers, please refrain from postings, not looking into reading the comments like: money and the fool... etc...

This is a serious matter and any advice will be appreciated as well as if someone can recommend me a good lawyer, I will be thankful.

[MJP]

Get hold of a good lawyer.

[Derailed]

Thanks for the reply and for the PM mate!

[MJP]

Welcome. Good luck.

[jacky54]

Just take the cash out of the joint account, does not seem very complicated

[Derailed]

Yes it is complicated, I mentioned that most of the money was transferred to her gold trading account which is purely on her name and this is the issue, this is why I started this topic.

Sorry if it wasn't clear.

[inzman]

So your cash is in her name. So is the house and Car. <deleted>, I understand the house but for Christ sake my cash is in my own account, as should yours be. Your own dam fault for putting it in her name. There is simply no reason for that. Demand the cash back NOW! Be a man

[robertthebruce]

You can always try and get the cash , by telling her of a great investment which will pay big dividends, hopefully she will believe you, and if she does hand over the money, that's your time to put it in your own name, and say the deal fell through, hopefully by that time, you will know what's going on ..

Whatever happens hope it all works out, I am sure you must be feeling crap,

[jacky54]

I assume you cannot talk to her, if if you try it ends in nonsense? best to get a lawyer in that case as the man said

[Derailed]

So your cash is in her name. So is the house and Car. <deleted>, I understand the house but for Christ sake my cash is in my own account, as should yours be. Your own dam fault for putting it in her name. There is simply no reason for that. Demand the cash back NOW! Be a man

Yes I know and I did say I didn't need this sort of replies, They're no help.

[MJP]

OP,

1. Say nothing to her, act normal;

2. Speak to you know who and take advice;

3. Make a list of all the assets and get all the evidence together showing how those assets came from you;

4. Gather evidence of the affair.

This goes nowhere without hard evidence and a paper trail.

Get movin' you've got your work cut out,

[Derailed]

You can always try and get the cash , by telling her of a great investment which will pay big dividends, hopefully she will believe you, and if she does hand over the money, that's your time to put it in your own name, and say the deal fell through, hopefully by that time, you will know what's going on ..

Whatever happens hope it all works out, I am sure you must be feeling crap,

I thought of it but I don't think it will work.

If there's a way to freeze the account I'd go that route even if I have to pay the lawyers.

If no then I'd look into other possibilities.

[Derailed]

I assume you cannot talk to her, if if you try it ends in nonsense? best to get a lawyer in that case as the man said

I still can talk to her, she's not suspecting anything at this time but she would if I ask for the money back.

I emailed one lawyer office and waiting for their reply.

Thanks

[mikebike]

You can always try and get the cash , by telling her of a great investment which will pay big dividends, hopefully she will believe you, and if she does hand over the money, that's your time to put it in your own name, and say the deal fell through, hopefully by that time, you will know what's going on ..

Tthis is exactly what I would do.

[Derailed]

OP,

1. Say nothing to her, act normal;

2. Speak to you know who and take advice;

3. Make a list of all the assets and get all the evidence together showing how those assets came from you;

4. Gather evidence of the affair.

This goes nowhere without hard evidence and a paper trail.

Get movin' you've got your work cut out,

Yes mate, that's a plan.

It would be hard to provide the proof for all the money, but we will see, maybe my home country's bank statements showing large withdrawals prior to my trips to Thailand would be enough? Don't know but hopefully I will get a reply from that law firm.

Thanks

[AnotherOneAmerican]

Yes it is complicated, I mentioned that most of the money was transferred to her gold trading account which is purely on her name and this is the issue, this is why I started this topic.

Sorry if it wasn't clear.

Tell her you want to buy a much bigger house, take her round to see a few.

Then tell her you need the money in her gold account to help buying the new house.

(As you want to have two houses)

She'll soon hand over the cash.

Once you have the cash, any silly excuse to delay buying the new house will do.

[MJP]

OP,

1. Say nothing to her, act normal;

2. Speak to you know who and take advice;

3. Make a list of all the assets and get all the evidence together showing how those assets came from you;

4. Gather evidence of the affair.

This goes nowhere without hard evidence and a paper trail.

Get movin' you've got your work cut out,

Yes mate, that's a plan.

It would be hard to provide the proof for all the money, but we will see, maybe my home country's bank statements showing large withdrawals prior to my trips to Thailand would be enough? Don't know but hopefully I will get a reply from that law firm.

Thanks

All bank records, all transfer records, all emails, all phone records . . . get on it.

Edited September 5, 2014 by MJP

[jacky54]

She'll soon hand over the cash.

Once you have the cash, any silly excuse to delay buying the new house will do.

Nice idea but no need for her to hand over the cash as it would be in her name with a cheque from her account, falang has to sign a paper saying it not his money so could not really be from his account. She would smell a rat I think. Unfortunately most Thai woman are very wary when it come to money.

[MJP]

Yes it is complicated, I mentioned that most of the money was transferred to her gold trading account which is purely on her name and this is the issue, this is why I started this topic.

Sorry if it wasn't clear.

Tell her you want to buy a much bigger house, take her round to see a few.

Then tell her you need the money in her gold account to help buying the new house.

(As you want to have two houses)

She'll soon hand over the cash.

Once you have the cash, any silly excuse to delay buying the new house will do.

So long as it doesn't raise suspicion, my Merkin friend has a good idea.

To win this thing you need to pander to their wants and fears. I used ghosts and superstition at one point.

[Derailed]

Yes it is complicated, I mentioned that most of the money was transferred to her gold trading account which is purely on her name and this is the issue, this is why I started this topic.

Sorry if it wasn't clear.

Tell her you want to buy a much bigger house, take her round to see a few.

Then tell her you need the money in her gold account to help buying the new house.

(As you want to have two houses)

She'll soon hand over the cash.

Once you have the cash, any silly excuse to delay buying the new house will do.

Yes some excuse like this may work, that would be my plan B.

[Derailed]

Yes it is complicated, I mentioned that most of the money was transferred to her gold trading account which is purely on her name and this is the issue, this is why I started this topic.

Sorry if it wasn't clear.

Tell her you want to buy a much bigger house, take her round to see a few.

Then tell her you need the money in her gold account to help buying the new house.

(As you want to have two houses)

She'll soon hand over the cash.

Once you have the cash, any silly excuse to delay buying the new house will do.

So long as it doesn't raise suspicion, my Merkin friend has a good idea.

To win this thing you need to pander to their wants and fears. I used ghosts and superstition at one point.

I thought of telling her to hand over the cash nicely, once I have good evidence (working on it), then I'd just disappear and she can tell her parents whatever she wants and save her face, or else I'd go back and talk to her parents and inform them what sort of woman their daughter is. They may or may not care, I don't know. Her dad and I have a good relationship even though none of us speaks a common language, I think he'd be very disappointed but I don't know if that will make any difference...

What do you think folks?

[AnotherOneAmerican]

Unfortunately most Thai woman are very wary when it come to money.

Strange,

I've found most of them daft as a brush, if you can get their greed into gear.

Edited September 5, 2014 by AnotherOneAmerican

[MJP]

Yes it is complicated, I mentioned that most of the money was transferred to her gold trading account which is purely on her name and this is the issue, this is why I started this topic.

Sorry if it wasn't clear.

Tell her you want to buy a much bigger house, take her round to see a few.

Then tell her you need the money in her gold account to help buying the new house.

(As you want to have two houses)

She'll soon hand over the cash.

Once you have the cash, any silly excuse to delay buying the new house will do.

So long as it doesn't raise suspicion, my Merkin friend has a good idea.

To win this thing you need to pander to their wants and fears. I used ghosts and superstition at one point.

I thought of telling her to hand over the cash nicely, once I have good evidence (working on it), then I'd just disappear and she can tell her parents whatever she wants and save her face, or else I'd go back and talk to her parents and inform them what sort of woman their daughter is. They may or may not care, I don't know. Her dad and I have a good relationship even though none of us speaks a common language, I think he'd be very disappointed but I don't know if that will make any difference...

What do you think folks?

Don't even go there. Money number one! Blood, water, thicker.

Do not get sentimental if you want to get something back. Otherwise, walk away now. Like I said, also be aware you may be a risk of serious harm (death) if we're talking even a bit of money. Just sayin'.

Do not get sentimental

[AnotherOneAmerican]

MJP is right,

You want anything back you have to lie, cheat, manipulate and steal.

Honesty will get you nowhere.

An appeal to parents will get you nowhere, except a boot up the bum from dad, who wishes his daughter never married a foreigner in the first place.

[Derailed]

OK, maybe you're right.

Back to Plan A (the lawyer).

[MJP]

OK, maybe you're right.

Back to Plan A (the lawyer).

Both.

Get Plan A set up and get Plan B running alongside. Extract as much as possible then hit 'em.

Going be a busy year old boy.

[jonesthebaker]

if the money is in her account then it is hers. if you gave it to her to put in her account then it is hers. if you gave me 2 million baht to put in my account without any formal considerations or contract then it would be mine.

unless she decides to refund you then you have zero chance of any court making her return any money she recieved from you.

being married means that you are entitled to half the house if it was purchased after you were married.

in simple terms if you give someone - wether it be your wife, friend, mother, child, or a stranger - some money then one day you decide you want it back, unfortunatley there is no court that could legally have the recipient return that money.

[DavidMavec]

Yes it is complicated, I mentioned that most of the money was transferred to her gold trading account which is purely on her name and this is the issue, this is why I started this topic.

Sorry if it wasn't clear.

Tell her you want to buy a much bigger house, take her round to see a few.

Then tell her you need the money in her gold account to help buying the new house.

(As you want to have two houses)

She'll soon hand over the cash.

Once you have the cash, any silly excuse to delay buying the new house will do.

So long as it doesn't raise suspicion, my Merkin friend has a good idea.

To win this thing you need to pander to their wants and fears. I used ghosts and superstition at one point.

I thought of telling her to hand over the cash nicely, once I have good evidence (working on it), then I'd just disappear and she can tell her parents whatever she wants and save her face, or else I'd go back and talk to her parents and inform them what sort of woman their daughter is. They may or may not care, I don't know. Her dad and I have a good relationship even though none of us speaks a common language, I think he'd be very disappointed but I don't know if that will make any difference...

What do you think folks?

Speaking with her parents and telling them that she has been unfaithful is one of the most powerful things you can do; using this as your threatening/bargaining chip could be extremely effective in getting what you want from a Thai girl. Her Thai parents would likely be extremely disappointed to hear about her behavior and could bring great shame to her and her family. Certainly I don't know if this will work but it is more powerful than if you had a farang wife, by about a million-fold.

[arminbkk]

How sure are you at this point of her infidelity?

So you only want the cash back, including what is in the gold trading account?

To get any money back, there first has to be money.

So make sure it is still there.

Once you are 100% sure of her infidelity, and have solid proof of that, try get the accounts frozen and

get a lawyer.

Don't count on her being reasonable in a separation, most women, well most people for that matter,

are not reasonable. Especially a Thai woman caught on cheating.

[Derailed]

I'm very very sure but not going to go into the details as it's a subject for a whole new tread and I'm not willing to discuss it.

I agree that she could become wild when confronted with evidence but I haven't seen this (her wild side) in her to be honest.