Aldebaran1981 Posted September 21, 2014 Share Posted September 21, 2014 sad to say, but you are an IDIOT. never support the woman who lies i, personally, hate lying biaches time to move on. there will be better decent thai ladies elsewhere. just remember, a large majority of bar and massage girls CANNOT be trusted. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thailiketoo Posted September 21, 2014 Share Posted September 21, 2014 (edited) http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/index.php?s=0ad42b1d74aff71bd63c08c6fcdb7254&app=googlecse#gsc.tab=0&gsc.q=up%20to%20you I think this is #14. Did I count right? Edited September 21, 2014 by thailiketoo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnotherOneAmerican Posted September 21, 2014 Share Posted September 21, 2014 @OP Don't feel so bad, loads of guys get sucked in. Just stop sending the money, no harm done. Note to everyone, Don't send them money. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thai20144 Posted September 21, 2014 Share Posted September 21, 2014 Dating/marriage to a bargirl??? You walk the tight rope, your a fool to yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thailiketoo Posted September 21, 2014 Share Posted September 21, 2014 @OP Don't feel so bad, loads of guys get sucked in. Just stop sending the money, no harm done. Note to everyone, Don't send them money. I live in Thailand sending the money helps the Thai economy - keep sending the money. The money usually ends up with a Thai guy who gives it to another Thai woman and so on.... eventually to the Som Tom seller. Save the Som Tom Sellers Send the Money. (STSTSSTM) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
THssii Posted September 21, 2014 Author Share Posted September 21, 2014 (edited) I dont send her money anymore, and stopped communicating with her since yesterday, for her I was only walking atm, she never had anykind of feelings toward me. It's kind of hard to understand how someone can lie to another person in so deep level for many years? Only way its possible is if one doesnt have empathy at all. I can understand if someone who have big need for money (need food or to help family, or even being drug addict) lies once to get money from a people who she dosent yet know, so there isnt much emotional connection. But when she have made me believe that she loves me and we have family together ", for the past 2 years we have communicated with each other almost every day, she knows me deeply, but she still is able to lie me every day and use me without a problem, not feeling sorry for me even a bit. (Because if she did she woudln continue doing this) But timet to get over her. There are more eorse case, like after 10 years marriage and completing the house, the thai woman have stealed the house and dumbbed her mand and sometimes even her children. Edited September 21, 2014 by THssii Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MJP Posted September 21, 2014 Share Posted September 21, 2014 OP get an STD test. Go safe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thai20144 Posted September 21, 2014 Share Posted September 21, 2014 I dont send her money anymore, and stopped communicating with her since yesterday, for her I was only walking atm, she never had anykind of feelings toward me. It's kind of hard to understand how someone can lie to another person in so deep level for many years? Only way its possible is if one doesnt have empathy at all. I can understand if someone who have big need for money (need food or to help family, or even being drug addict) lies once to get money from a people who she dosent yet know, so there isnt much emotional connection. But when she have made me believe that she loves me and we have family together ", for the past 2 years we have communicated with each other almost every day, she knows me deeply, but she still is able to lie me every day and use me without a problem, not feeling sorry for me even a bit. (Because if she did she woudln continue doing this) But timet to get over her. There are more eorse case, like after 10 years marriage and completing the house, the thai woman have stealed the house and dumbbed her mand and sometimes even her children. It not all that hard to understand at all, you have money and will boost her statues in Thailand, this means mega face lift in Thailand for the girl through her family and friends. Just today I met a friend of a friend / friend with her new western husband, I couldn't look him in the face as I know she has a Thai man and with his money is supporting his lifestyle. She lives a double life, with hiding suitcases of clothes in friends houses for when her western husband is away. Count yourself lucky. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhamBam Posted September 21, 2014 Share Posted September 21, 2014 @OP Don't feel so bad, loads of guys get sucked in. Just stop sending the money, no harm done. Note to everyone, Don't send them money. It's when I get spat back out that I don't like Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
THssii Posted September 21, 2014 Author Share Posted September 21, 2014 (edited) It not all that hard to understand at all, you have money and will boost her statues in Thailand, this means mega face lift in Thailand for the girl through her family and friends. Just today I met a friend of a friend / friend with her new western husband, I couldn't look him in the face as I know she has a Thai man and with his money is supporting his lifestyle. She lives a double life, with hiding suitcases of clothes in friends houses for when her western husband is away. Count yourself lucky. I mean, this kind of person doesn't have mercy or kindness, which are greately emphasised in buddhism. I could never deceive and use other people whome I've knows for many years (or even a person whome I just met), lie and deceive everyday and when there there is nothing left to get just dumb him/her like a old useless rag. I know some of them think that if they go make a merit at a temple all their bad karma will be gone. Its same like using physical (or even sexual) violence toward somebody. Its strange that in Thailand where people have been thaught buddhism in school have this kind of merciless action very common. Using other people to enhance face/ego or get money. Edited September 21, 2014 by THssii 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pgrahmm Posted September 21, 2014 Share Posted September 21, 2014 You forget.....there is basically no moral code in LOS...especially as we see it through western eyes...there are very good honest people here as well as bad...the middle is blurred..... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RickyJB Posted September 21, 2014 Share Posted September 21, 2014 i think the OP is actually lucky he gets a choice, my ex from Ayuthaya was 1 of the "i dont like " types, where NOTHING is ever good enough for her..no matter how much money i spent or where i took her , she always complained.. when i started to have enough of her snobbish behaviour , and she asked where i would be taking her for dinner tonight, my reply was " as i´m paying ...up to me " she didnt like that,,so i gave her the option, if you dont like it, leave...there´s plenty more where she came from...so she left...and i found someone 10 times better and more greatful and better to be with...plenty fish in the sea, get rid of her and find one that will respect you 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RickyJB Posted September 21, 2014 Share Posted September 21, 2014 Also there have been many occasions when she have lied to me, one day I asked her to take selfie and send it to me, she said no proble, and then she sent the same photo which she took and sent me day before (I just gave money to buy a new mobile), it was just took from different angle, but I noticed it immediately, then I asked her why she sent me old photo, but she insisted that she just minute a ago she took that photo. My mind was racing why she lies something like this, and was sure that she was hiding something, She didnt want to show me where she actually was, because she told me that shes been working whole day. One of my ex´s told me a small lie once too, she said some one came into her work , stole her bag which had money and her phone in it.. So i sent her money to buy a new phone ... Next day i asked her to take a photo with the new phone and send to me....The stupid cow was sitting there with her old phone on her lap.. her excuse was, oh someone came back into shop today and handed phone back... yeah right... My ex was a bar girl too, and after we broke up i found out a few other small lies she told me too... be careful who you trust Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Thongkorn Posted September 21, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted September 21, 2014 People forget, 99% of bar girls are at work, 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YeahSiam Posted September 21, 2014 Share Posted September 21, 2014 i think the OP is actually lucky he gets a choice, my ex from Ayuthaya was 1 of the "i dont like " types, where NOTHING is ever good enough for her..no matter how much money i spent or where i took her , she always complained.. when i started to have enough of her snobbish behaviour , and she asked where i would be taking her for dinner tonight, my reply was " as i´m paying ...up to me " she didnt like that,,so i gave her the option, if you dont like it, leave...there´s plenty more where she came from...so she left...and i found someone 10 times better and more greatful and better to be with...plenty fish in the sea, get rid of her and find one that will respect you Yizzur!! And make sure you drill it into her head that you're paying so she's got no say. That always makes women respect you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RickyJB Posted September 21, 2014 Share Posted September 21, 2014 i think the OP is actually lucky he gets a choice, my ex from Ayuthaya was 1 of the "i dont like " types, where NOTHING is ever good enough for her..no matter how much money i spent or where i took her , she always complained.. when i started to have enough of her snobbish behaviour , and she asked where i would be taking her for dinner tonight, my reply was " as i´m paying ...up to me " she didnt like that,,so i gave her the option, if you dont like it, leave...there´s plenty more where she came from...so she left...and i found someone 10 times better and more greatful and better to be with...plenty fish in the sea, get rid of her and find one that will respect you Yizzur!! And make sure you drill it into her head that you're paying so she's got no say. That always makes women respect you. and you didnt read the bit " when i started to have enough of her" you think i had actually been shown any respect up until that?? i´d put up with her selfishness /spoilt little girl attitude / gave her what she wanted for 9 months - 1 year with little in return..it was all about "me, me, me, me" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ATF Posted September 21, 2014 Share Posted September 21, 2014 What you haven't mentioned is you seem to live apart. How can any relationship exist under those circumstances? She's obviously behaving like a sperm bank so find someone else and write the money off as the price of an education. It could have cost a lot more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeverSure Posted September 21, 2014 Share Posted September 21, 2014 (edited) How many times do I have to tell you ?? "Up to you" means "read my mind." End of. Edited September 21, 2014 by NeverSure 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post slipperylobster Posted September 21, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted September 21, 2014 (edited) Sorry, I am not going to buy off that indifference means anything other than the fact that no feelings are involved, on her part. If somebody is crazy in love with you, they will be happy to do what you like to do, so that they can be with you. If a girl is constantly giving you the cold shoulder, making you miserable when you are getting your farang "fix" (like a pizza or english movie), then it might be a sign that what she is really after are other things (not your company or respect). You have seen mismatched couples....the ones who sit in a restaurant and never chat with each other, or smile. They quietly eat their food and get up and leave. The only interaction comes with whoever is on the cellphone with them... Seriously. A girl, from any country, who actually loves and respects you (and you her) will be sitting close to you, smiling, joking, and will try to adapt to the things you enjoy.....as long as you also let her do the things she enjoys, as well. Body language, eye contact, interest, proximity when together.... should all be signs that she is legitimately head over heels in love, and spends hours daydreaming how great this marriage is going to be....even without a new house, and car Edited September 21, 2014 by slipperylobster 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaalle Posted September 22, 2014 Share Posted September 22, 2014 (edited) Slightly off topic but why would you spend time with a person you have to throw money at? I'm kind of posing this question to all farangs with thai girlfriends/wifes who expects money in some form. Is the time you spend together worth all that cash? The scariest thing is when some people write stuff like "aah but your always paying for it, its the same back home". It doesn't have to be like that... To the OP, you say you have Aspergers? Stay miles away from devious thai girls for starters and find some one who really wants to get to know you and in turn get an understanding of your lack of conventional social skills. And then just take it from there. Edited September 22, 2014 by Kaalle Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daveAustin Posted September 22, 2014 Share Posted September 22, 2014 Op, up to you means 'I don't want to'. She does not respect you either and I would have a long think about the marriage idea. Consider someone with at least half a brain 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisinth Posted September 22, 2014 Share Posted September 22, 2014 IMHO, the term 'Up to You' is like any woman saying "yes, that's OK". It doesn't actually mean the way it sounds in many cases. A lot of hidden psychological meaning going on in the background with this phrase.......................... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eldragon Posted September 22, 2014 Share Posted September 22, 2014 'Up to you' has (in my limited experience) nothing to do with indifference or do not want to do something. I've found it means 'I know what I think we should do, I'm not telling you but you had better come up with the same thing or you will have a miserable time.' Nailed it. One of the joys of relationships is figuring out what the opposite sex really wants. Lads, you'll have a better time with women if you just figure it out, because they're definitely not going to tell you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slipperylobster Posted September 22, 2014 Share Posted September 22, 2014 Up to you, when it is not, is a very good way to start an argument....on both sides. I like to be told truthfully, not slyly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnotherOneAmerican Posted September 22, 2014 Share Posted September 22, 2014 'Up to you' has (in my limited experience) nothing to do with indifference or do not want to do something. I've found it means 'I know what I think we should do, I'm not telling you but you had better come up with the same thing or you will have a miserable time.' Nailed it. One of the joys of relationships is figuring out what the opposite sex really wants. Lads, you'll have a better time with women if you just figure it out, because they're definitely not going to tell you. And the winner in any relationship, is the one that doesn't care what the other wants. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slipperylobster Posted September 22, 2014 Share Posted September 22, 2014 (edited) We are starting to get into the cultural differences. Some people will claim that the best thing to do is to go native and obey all the rules and customs here....at their own expense. In my case, it is 50/50...or as close as possible. Some things are modified on my behalf...as I am not Thai, but only a guest. I would do the same for my wife in my own country. She would be allowed to follow her customs there, as I do mine...here. It gets frustrating at times...trying to follow every single custom when, deep in my heart, I do not believe in the same spirits, philosophy of life, handling of money, etc. I can meet her halfway, as long as she does the same. I do not force her to pray to Jesus, attend mass, celebrate the 4th of July, etc. We just mention these things, and I say..."I understand it is not your way". She does the same for me. It does work out. To make this post relevant, I would say, it is not up to you...it is up to us. Edited September 22, 2014 by slipperylobster 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
benalibina Posted September 22, 2014 Share Posted September 22, 2014 A couple of months being with my wife, then gf, she suggested to take a mbike trip the day after together. I said, up to you where you want to go to, i will follow your instructions where to go ....she agreed. It was a disaster and after 2 hours we were back and i immediately went away. I was pissed off by the lack of initiative. When i came back i saw a note from her with an apologie of the afternoon. Now i am thinking of it, its the only thing she ever apologised for.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laolover88 Posted September 22, 2014 Share Posted September 22, 2014 I have come to believe, occasionally, that 'Up to You' in Thailand can mean one of a number of things. It is clearly not like colloquial English where it is quite rude and means amongst other things I am opting out of this and you can go *** So in LOS 1. Really is up to you 2. Actually, I don't want to make a decision about it 3. Like that smile, that says, please don't ask me about this 4. Never underestimate that it may well mean: I haven't a clue and I would not know how to get there, go there, do it...etc. but I would never admit it...so it is a defense mechanism of ignorance etc. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sigurris Posted September 22, 2014 Share Posted September 22, 2014 Tell her it is over. I will put money on her not saying," Up to you". If she does you have escaped free. If not send her away for a month. Tell her to come back when she is prepared to put something into the relationship. But be hard. Don't give in if she says she will change. A month is enough time for you both to reflect. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pomchop Posted September 22, 2014 Share Posted September 22, 2014 Female Speak: Up to you: You decide but I better like it or I will blame you. Fine: It is not fine. Silence: It is not fine. Whatever you say: Because I am not listening to you anyway. Do you think I look fat?: There is no acceptable answer. If you say yes, you're a turd. If you say no you are a liar. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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