Did i break the law? (defamation/cheating girl)

[eldragon]

I read some of these posts and just shake my head. Really how stupid some of you men are. You were dating and not committed as engaged or married. Most do have a Thai guy somewhere else. Another mate of mine gave his girl his credit card and now is filing for bankruptcy. She is living it up with the husband she never told him about.

And why not, huh? Most of us are playing a game where we pretend we're here for the long haul with girls that know we can hit the abort button and go home at any time. Can you blame em for keeping their options open?

[NanLaew]

Si Thea01: Yes I am sure about the boyfriend. She admitted it to me. Plus it is all over her social media pages... she just engineered it so I couldn't see.

What did I say: Something like 'your girlfriend has been seeing me for six months'. I did lose my temper and also call her a liar, and say her behaviour was ugly. And attached it to a photo of us to prove I wasnt lying. That was all. Her boyfriend never responded, then I deleted everything. She says I damaged her reputation. I suppose I did, but I was furious, she told me a very elaborate lie to pull all this off.

Who asked me to come to the station: she did. But at the station the police confirmed this. Didnt charge me, it sounded like they want to mediate between us, and some of the police were joking about me and her. But hey perhaps it's all a ruse and they will charge me once she is present/have the paperwork. I will take a lawyer with me for sure.

What does she have: Name, number, address.

You can call me immature, but how would some of you react if a girl was seeing you for half a year, and you find out that her, her friends, and family have all been hiding the fact she has a boyfriend. Even shagging us in the same weekend! Hell... she could have just told me at the start and we would be f-buddies. Sure this is thailand, but i think some of you would be pretty annoyed about it.

Do the police in your home country 'mediate' such affairs?

Wake up Toto, this isn't Kansas. The police here don't mediate, they extort.

Your really, really have to give up being so upset at being cheated on. It's no big deal. Happens all the time. You are upset about the 30k baht and the fact that she PLAYED YOU... a 19 year-old as well.

Next you'll be crying that you want your CD's back.

[razorramone]

The police 'mediated' when i had a crazy girl stalking me about a year ago. She kept turning up at my home, banging on the door etc. Took her to the police and they helped me with it. Had no problems with them then.

Edited November 11, 2014 by razorramone

[eldragon]

You can call me immature, but how would some of you react if a girl was seeing you for half a year, and you find out that her, her friends, and family have all been hiding the fact she has a boyfriend. Even shagging us in the same weekend! Hell... she could have just told me at the start and we would be f-buddies. Sure this is thailand, but i think some of you would be pretty annoyed about it.

It's okay, mate. Just call it a learning experience. You've got many more ahead of you. I applaud you for doing the "right thing" (talking to the police) even if that probably was not in your best interest here. And yeah, we'd all be pissed off and tempted to do what you did. But this IS Thailand. Losing your shit or stirring things up is generally seen as insane, offensive behavior, regardless of who's right or wrong. Thais definitely don't like being confronted about their wrong doings either. Going forward, you should assume attractive women- especially those that are seen as very desirable by locals (young, relatively tall, slim, light skinned, etc.)- have a few guys on the go and will leave their options open up until marriage comes calling. That's not going to be true 100% of the time, but it's in your interest to assume it is. And, financially speaking, keep yourself in situations where you can afford to walk away at a moments notice.

[Morakot]

Did i break the law?

Possibly, but it'd be difficult to say without seeing all the evidence.

As some have already pointed out, truth is not necessarily a defence. But to even ascertain the truth certain expert evidence might be required. For example, havering a 'gik' may not mean having two boyfriends. However, all this might very likely beyond the investigative ability and capacity of the police force; so what will also matter is how you conduct yourself in front of the police and towards your ex. It's good to have counsel with you, but -- in order not to have your question tested before a court of law-- kept in mind to be constructive, understanding and courteous without incriminating yourself.

Good luck!

Edited November 11, 2014 by Morakot

[JacChang]

Grow up, make money, become rich and powerful. Stop dwindling with relationships like they are the top priority on your list. Only "boys" do that, give all the power to women. Be the best man you can be in this lifetime, and girls will come after you.

[Ulic]

A waste of time, the boyfriend probably already knows about you and can't read English anyway.

A few shared pictures of the two of you would have been far more effective. He could have drawn

his own conclusions from them without you saying a thing.

[mrtoad]

Really its a waste of Police time. They must have better things to do

[wandasloan]

Really its a waste of Police time. They must have better things to do

Well, that's your opinion.

In Thailand, this is what police do. It's one of the better things they do. In a way it's the Thai version of plea-bargaining, which I'm sure you know, and which is not just a huge time-waster but outright blackmail.

[mrtoad]

Really its a waste of Police time. They must have better things to do

Well, that's your opinion.

In Thailand, this is what police do. It's one of the better things they do. In a way it's the Thai version of plea-bargaining, which I'm sure you know, and which is not just a huge time-waster but outright blackmail.

Not going to disagree on what you say Wanda.

[louse1953]

Do what a Thai bloke would do,ignore it.

[louse1953]

So out of curiousity and not wanting to wait till thursday, I took a taxi to the station just now. I didnt get much out of them... just a confirmation to come back thursday to 'talk' with the girl, me, an officer, and her.

Now looking at these posts talking about defamation is illegal here, even if its true. If there was a criminal charge they would have had me there, right?

Time for a lawyer.

[Kudel]

A waste of time, the boyfriend probably already knows about you and can't read English anyway.

A few shared pictures of the two of you would have been far more effective. He could have drawn

his own conclusions from them without you saying a thing.

Yes but i bet the Thai boyfriend was enjoying the monitary benefits from the op kind a like pimping ,OP grow a pair and stop acting like a juvinile at youre age move out of the country and get some life experience Thailand is not for working and young foreigners but for old age pensioners with mommy issues.

Edited November 11, 2014 by Kudel

[louse1953]

Just ignore it. What personal details of yours does she have

Address, number, all the usual. She has certainly been to the police, she took photos there along with some sort of report.

I would like to go to the appointment, because perhaps I'll get the 30 grand back which she tricked me out of. She says I 'damaged her reputation' by posting about it on facebook. But I'm not the one who was sleeping around? I don't think I'm in the wrong, but this is thailand, i know the laws here are quite different from back home. I did make posts baring all the details which all her FB friends could see.

(For some context, I'm 25 and working here for 3 years now, she's a first year college student. I thought too young to trick me for money!).

Ask your Thai workmates for advice.What work do you do?

[morosaa]

If you go to that meeting you will be extorted for money. It is not a 'mediation' like the crazy girl banging on your door,in that case you had done no wrong, the police could gain nothing. in this case you are in the wrong. You have defamed her in public over a personal matter. If you comfirm you posted the messages, whether they are true or not is irrelevant here, you are guilty of defamation. You have no defence. Your meeting at the police station is going to be about how many hundreds of thousand of baht you are going to pay. THIS IS SERIOUS. You are not going to go in there and just get a telling off and have to apologise to her. Its going to be expensive. Its in her and the police interests that it is expensive because it is an open and shut case that you are guilty. They will make you for as much they can.

You have 3 options.

1. Go to the meeting. Accept you did it and then be taken for 100-300k baht or more.

2. Deactivate your fb account. Go to the meeting , deny it was you who did it. Hacked, not your account etc. (Unless you sent an email or message to her referencing what youve done, in which case you cant do this) then it would be difficult for her to show you defamed her. After a while you could walk away, however she will be even more angry, lose even more face and you will probably find yourself in even more trouble when she retaliates in some other way

3. You have not been summoned so it doesnt matter if you went to the police station already. You do not have to attend.Deactivate facebook. Move apartment immediately. Change number. Anything she knows about you change. (I hope she doesnt know your place of work) Do not go to the meeting. Eventually the police may come to the apartment and discovering you do not live there the case may just sit gathering dust as all they have is a name. They may ask the apartment if they have a photocopy of your passport and trace you that way. If they ever find you, you wont be in trouble for disappearing as you were never summoned.at this point go to option 2 and claim it must have been someone else or hacked etc

Most sensible option is 3. The foolish option is 1.

The fact you were not summoned makes me suspect the police feel it isnt worth their time yet as hard to prove.. however if you walk in there on thursday and admit you did it, you have just done their job for them and they will be extremely interested in the case due to its profitability.

[louse1953]

/\ /\ /\ I wanted to tell her boyfriend what she had been doing. I obviously didnt have his number nor did i want to see him.

To clarify: No I did not recieve any official police summons. Nor did I get anything last night when I went to the police station. The email was from HER, not from the police, telling me to come. And at the police station a guy just confirmed there was an appointment.

I deleted the facebook posts a day after making them, they are long gone, but not before she printed them out. You can call me vindictive or childish, but I met this girls friends, family, all to find out she has a long term boyfriend elsewhere? I'm not just going to take it and move on, like a b..ch.

I think most of us are calling you stupid.

Before you went to the police station, nobody knew who you were, now the police have full details.

Every attractive uni girl has many bfs, usually 3-5 all giving her money, that's how they pay for uni.

And yes, her family and friends are all in on it too.

Thailand is the country of f&^% around. No monogamy here.

She already had my address, or at least knew where I lived. The police didnt even take any details from me, I just came in, had a broken thai conversation asking about a meeting, and left. I cant believe im having to deal with this crap over a few angry facebook messages. Does this mean people can just sleep and scam their way around thailand, and nobody is allowed to tell other people about it?

Also yes yes, I know im guillible for giving her money. I thought she was honest because she's only 19, she's a student, I met all her family, and I didnt meet her in a bar or club.

I thought all the scammers lurked around nana. I'll know to be more careful in the future.

Go to Nana and learn how the big boys play.

[AnotherOneAmerican]

Does this mean people can just sleep and scam their way around thailand, and nobody is allowed to tell other people about it?

Also yes yes, I know im guillible for giving her money. I thought she was honest because she's only 19, she's a student, I met all her family, and I didnt meet her in a bar or club.

I thought all the scammers lurked around nana. I'll know to be more careful in the future.

She was selling sex, you were buying sex.

No scams here, except for you not understanding you were buying sex.

It's not as if prostitutes wear a badge (well OK, some of them do).

PS

You have just admitted to breaking a far more serious law by giving her money (loans) and gifts.

Under 20 and paying for sex is against the law.

For god's sake don't admit to the police you had sex with her and gave her money.

Her parents can have you charged with statutory rape, which will cost even more money and get you on the sex offenders register in your home country, and blacklisted from returning to Thailand.

Edited November 11, 2014 by AnotherOneAmerican

[mrtoad]

Does this mean people can just sleep and scam their way around thailand, and nobody is allowed to tell other people about it?

Also yes yes, I know im guillible for giving her money. I thought she was honest because she's only 19, she's a student, I met all her family, and I didnt meet her in a bar or club.

I thought all the scammers lurked around nana. I'll know to be more careful in the future.

She was selling sex, you were buying sex.

No scams here, except for you not understanding you were buying sex.

It's not as if prostitutes wear a badge (well OK, some of them do).

Well some Uni girls are working in Nana

[Suradit69]

Just ignore it. What personal details of yours does she have

Address, number, all the usual. She has certainly been to the police, she took photos there along with some sort of report.

I would like to go to the appointment, because perhaps I'll get the 30 grand back which she tricked me out of. She says I 'damaged her reputation' by posting about it on facebook. But I'm not the one who was sleeping around? I don't think I'm in the wrong, but this is thailand, i know the laws here are quite different from back home. I did make posts baring all the details which all her FB friends could see.

(For some context, I'm 25 and working here for 3 years now, she's a first year college student. I thought too young to trick me for money!).

"(For some context, I'm 25 and working here for 3 years now, she's a first year college student. I thought too young to trick me for money!). "

"Tricked??" Why is it whenever a farang does something foolish he is incapable of accepting his own gullibility and the consequences of his foolishness?

We all do stupid things, especially those who travel thousands of miles to Thailand in the hopes of finding something they could never hope to have "back home," but claiming you were outsmarted by someone who you hoped was too young to defeat you on the intelligence front (and who caused you loss of face) is not going to generate much in the way of sympathy except from others who are equally childish. And your emotional outburst on FB and here simply underscores the fact that you need to grow up and accept personal responsibility for your own poor decisions.

"She started it," is a complaint that is better suited to the school playground.

[seajae]

you can always go the other way, you were madly in love and she had promised to marry you so you had been giving her money towards your future betrothment. She had repeatedly told you she wanted to be with you only and to be your wife, everything you have done for the last x number of months has been done to make your future together a good one then you found out she is sleeping with another man , using the money you gave her towards your future to do so. She defamed you and has been deliberately defrauding you the whole time you were together so when you found out you had no option but to declare what she has been doing to you. This means she is the one that is liable and she has has used the police to try to avoid being convicted of defrauding you herself by blaming you, if you can prove she has had a boyfriend the whole time then you can turn the tables, just make sure you continually state she said she would marry you and there was no one else and that you were totally taken in by her lies until the truth was revealed. Other than that just <deleted> off to another apartment and get a new number, just watch where you play hide the sausage in the future.

[AnotherOneAmerican]

you can always go the other way, you were madly in love and she had promised to marry you so you had been giving her money towards your future betrothment.

That's still admitting statutory rape. (giving money to girl under 20 in return for sex, in this case first year uni student = 18)

[eldragon]

Does this mean people can just sleep and scam their way around thailand, and nobody is allowed to tell other people about it?

Also yes yes, I know im guillible for giving her money. I thought she was honest because she's only 19, she's a student, I met all her family, and I didnt meet her in a bar or club.

I thought all the scammers lurked around nana. I'll know to be more careful in the future.

She was selling sex, you were buying sex.

No scams here, except for you not understanding you were buying sex.

It's not as if prostitutes wear a badge (well OK, some of them do).

PS

You have just admitted to breaking a far more serious law by giving her money (loans) and gifts.

Under 20 and paying for sex is against the law.

For god's sake don't admit to the police you had sex with her and gave her money.

Her parents can have you charged with statutory rape, which will cost even more money and get you on the sex offenders register in your home country, and blacklisted from returning to Thailand.

Nonsense. Pretty sure it's 18. Either way, it's a girl's responsibility to be clear about this before the deed is done, just like it's a john's responsibility to produce the money afterwards.

[louse1953]

This is exactly what happened to my ex-girlfriend. Before she met me, she skipped town after being charged with defamation (for accusing someone of having cheated her on an insurance premium payment). She was never arrested or tracked down, and she figured the charges had been forgotten. But when she went in to apply for a passport, they did a criminal check, and her name was flagged. After applying for a passport, and the 2 week waiting period had passed, the passport office cryptically revealed that there was a "problem" and asked her to come back in. She was told about the outstanding warrant, and had to go to the police station to get it resolved. Long story short, she was taken into custody, and the whole thing took days to resolve, and bond had to be posted to release her. It was a NIGHTMARE. You could end up being detained at Suwannaphum Airport at a terribly inconvenience.

More likely a scam to extract money from you.

Did you pay them?

Cynical,but correct.

[somchaismith]

Redundant

Edited November 11, 2014 by somchaismith

[Chwooly]

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How old are you, razorramone? I'm tempted to state that you deserve everything that's coming your way, that's if this's a serious thread at all.

Posting hearsay about a girl on FB is the work of an ill-tempered and insecure child.

If you're being serious, then you're not going to be the victor in this instance and taking a financial hit at the offices of the BIB is your best bet to extricate yourself from future potential problems. There are those that'll hit you in its severest form for far less, particularly in Thailand.

Perhaps, but I think he did a good job at getting back at her, it definitely seems to have worked lol! At least he's doing a favour warning any potential victims on her friends list..

It will have no effect long term to her. At best she will be shamed for a week or 2. At worst as cheap as life is here he has put himself at risk from someone who might attempt to save her honor or for a small fee become come the victim of drive by batting

[AnotherOneAmerican]

Nonsense. Pretty sure it's 18. Either way, it's a girl's responsibility to be clear about this before the deed is done, just like it's a john's responsibility to produce the money afterwards.

It's a guy's responsibility to check the girls age in every country in the world.

Age of consent in Thailand where gifts or money are given is 20.

[louse1953]

Si Thea01: Yes I am sure about the boyfriend. She admitted it to me. Plus it is all over her social media pages... she just engineered it so I couldn't see.

What did I say: Something like 'your girlfriend has been seeing me for six months'. I did lose my temper and also call her a liar, and say her behaviour was ugly. And attached it to a photo of us to prove I wasnt lying. That was all. Her boyfriend never responded, then I deleted everything. She says I damaged her reputation. I suppose I did, but I was furious, she told me a very elaborate lie to pull all this off.

Who asked me to come to the station: she did. But at the station the police confirmed this. Didnt charge me, it sounded like they want to mediate between us, and some of the police were joking about me and her. But hey perhaps it's all a ruse and they will charge me once she is present/have the paperwork. I will take a lawyer with me for sure.

What does she have: Name, number, address.

You can call me immature, but how would some of you react if a girl was seeing you for half a year, and you find out that her, her friends, and family have all been hiding the fact she has a boyfriend. Even shagging us in the same weekend! Hell... she could have just told me at the start and we would be f-buddies. Sure this is thailand, but i think some of you would be pretty annoyed about it.

Fair enough mate,much older blokes than you have been conned.5555,shagging in the same weekend,some do 10 a day.

[neverdie]

Really its a waste of Police time. They must have better things to do

It depends what way you look at it

[Lukecan]

Facebook will only disclose your ip address if there is a case against you in the USA.

If you get an official summoning here is what you do

1. Deactivate your Facebook account

2. Deny deny deny

3. they won't be able to prove anything.

Screenshot is not enough evidence, they have to prove that the account actually belongs to you. The only way she can get it confirmed is by Facebook, they need a US court ruling, yeah if she was the daughter of thaksin or something she would go after you in the US court, but she's most likely some broke thai girl.

Just tell them that the account doesn't belong to you, say that someone created a fake profile in your name. If they can't link that account to you then it means such an event never happened!

Edited November 11, 2014 by Lukecan

[BernieOnTour]

You can call me vindictive or childish, but I met this girls friends, family, all to find out she has a long term boyfriend elsewhere? I'm not just going to take it and move on, like a b..ch.

What's that: " I'm not just going to take it and move on, like a b..ch." - Farang version of loosing face???

Get a life! You are 25, this won't be the last time of getting cheated. Move on, there are millions of other c.nts for you to explore.