John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said: "Here's to spending the rest of

me life, between the legs of me wife!"

That won him the top prize for the best toast of the night!

He went home and told his wife Mary: "I won the prize for the best toast

of the night."

John said: "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church

beside me wife."

"Oh that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said.

The next day, Mary ran into one of John's toasting buddies on the street

corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said: "John won the prize, the other

night, with a toast about you Mary."

She said: "Aye and I was a bit surprised me self! You know, he's only been

there twice! Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by

the ears to make him come."