You Guys Have Messed With My Head!

[Thebigfella]

Hey

Reading through the soprano thread and much of the stuff that was said about "all thai girls" who happen to work in bars(slip in and out of prostitution at one stage or another), dont get me wrong i know there are certain bars where the generalisation is generally (i said generally dont jump down my throat!!) true but i want to ask about a specific bar.

"Silkbar" on Koh san road I dont think the girls that serve the drinks are barfineable are they?

I did meet a girl there a while ago really sweet prob not the best looking thai girl ever but really nice person. When we went out she paid for food and drinks alot of the time, took me to all these cool places met her friends who worked all over, when i was hurt she bought me medicine and generally looked after me. I left her alone with all my stuff in the hotel loads of times and she never took anything only thing she did do was clean the room!! Said she was a virgin i dont know but it wouldnt bother me if she lied about that i think a lot of girls (especially thai girls)do. when i had to go home she cried at airport i said i didnt know if i would be back again she understood.

we have kept in contact via msn, (who knows maybe she has loads of people lined up on it) txt, email odd phonecall I am thinking of going back to see her. Should i tell her or should i just arrive and see how it goes? The thing is i know she is dirt poor wants to leave thailand (she hasnt had any sick buffalow yet anyway) her sis already has left married with kids to european and a few of her friends have gone this way too. I am just not that serious. She knows this i said i wouldnt be getting married till i was at least 35. I wouldnt mind just meeting up to go for a meal and dancing with her and her friends.

She has a degree and has worked with a few different companies since she quit silkbar (she really enjoyed working there ) but she always leaves these jobs for one reason or another. The thing is she hasnt worked in months now and this has got me thinking about what is being said in the thread that all girls who work in bars slip in and out of prostitution. I dont think this to be true especially if silkbar is not like bargirl bars. She is probably just getting money from her sis in europe or other guys stupid enough to send it. Isnt she??!

I will be going back soon and i would really like to stay if i could get a good job (i really wana get into business but anit got the funds yet so will do my research when im there) in BKK i would stay for a while and see how things work out with her. I really like her but you guys have messed with my head with all these generally true! generalisations of sweet thai girls who happen to work in bars.

Cheers

Thebigfella (its just a name im really quite small)

[jdinasia]

new name ... same troll?

[britmaveric]

All thai girls would be an incorrect statement.

At any rate does it really matter what she did previously - me thinks not, so either go for it or don't - totally up to you mate.

[Noel]

Oh dear, now who could this be, James Gandolfini...?

[Clip_My_Wings]

my advice ignore what people say on here ... a generalised rule can never be applied to anything in this world.. True if she worked as a bargirl then the warning signs would be increased but silk bar is not a "working girl" bar.

and ... as you said in your mail your not "serious"about this girl yet so the best thing to do is just enjoy anytime spent with her and make up your mind yourself. Get to know her more and trust your own extincts.

search for your own truth .. if your around her and things don't seem right (she disapears for a few days, strange calls in the night, etc )then maybe you have found some concerns . However just coz someone from a site who has never met you or your g/f says unequivocally "she must be slipping into prostitution" coz she has worked in a bar , don't take that as fact.

however be realistic with your aims here and don't let love cloud your judgement. long distance relationship are hard. Even with the best of intentions your g/f may get lonely and there might be a a load of guys trying to hit on her. in the long-term for these things to work out you need a plan. starting a business here can be really difficult unless your particuarly savvy and finding work is extremely dificuly .. unless you go down the tried and tested route of the english teacher ...

anyway my advice is dont get too serious too quickly ... go with the flow. If you really like the girl get to know her family and thai customs. and try to follow your head as well as your heart

Hey

Reading through the soprano thread and much of the stuff that was said about "all thai girls" who happen to work in bars(slip in and out of prostitution at one stage or another), dont get me wrong i know there are certain bars where the generalisation is generally (i said generally dont jump down my throat!!) true but i want to ask about a specific bar.

"Silkbar" on Koh san road I dont think the girls that serve the drinks are barfineable are they?

I did meet a girl there a while ago really sweet prob not the best looking thai girl ever but really nice person. When we went out she paid for food and drinks alot of the time, took me to all these cool places met her friends who worked all over, when i was hurt she bought me medicine and generally looked after me. I left her alone with all my stuff in the hotel loads of times and she never took anything only thing she did do was clean the room!! Said she was a virgin i dont know but it wouldnt bother me if she lied about that i think a lot of girls (especially thai girls)do. when i had to go home she cried at airport i said i didnt know if i would be back again she understood.

we have kept in contact via msn, (who knows maybe she has loads of people lined up on it) txt, email odd phonecall I am thinking of going back to see her. Should i tell her or should i just arrive and see how it goes? The thing is i know she is dirt poor wants to leave thailand (she hasnt had any sick buffalow yet anyway) her sis already has left married with kids to european and a few of her friends have gone this way too. I am just not that serious. She knows this i said i wouldnt be getting married till i was at least 35. I wouldnt mind just meeting up to go for a meal and dancing with her and her friends.

She has a degree and has worked with a few different companies since she quit silkbar (she really enjoyed working there ) but she always leaves these jobs for one reason or another. The thing is she hasnt worked in months now and this has got me thinking about what is being said in the thread that all girls who work in bars slip in and out of prostitution. I dont think this to be true especially if silkbar is not like bargirl bars. She is probably just getting money from her sis in europe or other guys stupid enough to send it. Isnt she??!

I will be going back soon and i would really like to stay if i could get a good job (i really wana get into business but anit got the funds yet so will do my research when im there) in BKK i would stay for a while and see how things work out with her. I really like her but you guys have messed with my head with all these generally true! generalisations of sweet thai girls who happen to work in bars.

Cheers

Thebigfella (its just a name im really quite small)

[Thebigfella]

not a troll

just forget about all the other stuff and answer the question on the "Silkbar" I dont want to get into a debate on what i should do or not or generalisations.

I just put all the other stuff in as background and my mind was just flowing with thoughts that i had to get off my chest.

Thanks

[Thebigfella]

Thanks clip my wings

thats what i wanted to know "not a working girls bar"

Thats what i thought but didnt spend enough time around it to be sure

[Kerryd]

Thanks clip my wings

thats what i wanted to know "not a working girls bar"

Thats what i thought but didnt spend enough time around it to be sure

One thing I always stress to people that are thinking about travelling to Thailand (especially single guys).

NOT ALL GIRLS ARE PROSTITUES! (you really have to emphasis this for some people)

Even if they are working in a bar, some girls are simply not available for horizontal activities (at least not on a casual, P4P basis).

I've seen girls that I know personally, turn down large amounts of money from guys looking to shag a stunner. (I watched one I know, on different nights, turn down offers of 3,000/5,000 and 10,000 baht. Her monthly salary as a dancer is 10,000.)

I personally know some girls that have met guys, became involved in a relationship, and stopped working in the bars. Some keep working, but don't do the P4P stuff anymore.

On the other hand, I also know some that keep right on doing it, business as normal, even with 1 or more boyfriends sending them money every month.

Having a successful relationship with a Thai girl isn't much different than having a successful relationship with a girl in your home country. If she develops real feelings for you, she will make sacrifices (i.e. stop working in certain places) and will be willing to wait for you.

But if your entire relationship is based on a whirlwind 4-5 day romance that revolved mostly around drinking and screwing, I wouldn't expect to much. So many girls here meet so many 1 week Romeos, that after awhile, they start to think they are all the same.

[leftcross]

maybe she does, maybe she doesnt.

if you like her then why not see where it goes? poverty leads to prostitution, not a bad heart.

[jing jing]

maybe she does, maybe she doesnt.

if you like her then why not see where it goes? poverty leads to prostitution, not a bad heart.

That's right -- getting involved with a prostitute is fine, just as long as you didn't meet her off the internet.

[HenryB]

I believe you this women is great. The salt of the earth.

Marry her fast buy her a home and car and send her money be happy.

I wish I was you.

[terry57]

Thanks clip my wings

thats what i wanted to know "not a working girls bar"

Thats what i thought but didnt spend enough time around it to be sure

One thing I always stress to people that are thinking about travelling to Thailand (especially single guys).

NOT ALL GIRLS ARE PROSTITUES! (you really have to emphasis this for some people)

Even if they are working in a bar, some girls are simply not available for horizontal activities (at least not on a casual, P4P basis).

I've seen girls that I know personally, turn down large amounts of money from guys looking to shag a stunner. (I watched one I know, on different nights, turn down offers of 3,000/5,000 and 10,000 baht. Her monthly salary as a dancer is 10,000.)

I personally know some girls that have met guys, became involved in a relationship, and stopped working in the bars. Some keep working, but don't do the P4P stuff anymore.

On the other hand, I also know some that keep right on doing it, business as normal, even with 1 or more boyfriends sending them money every month.

Having a successful relationship with a Thai girl isn't much different than having a successful relationship with a girl in your home country. If she develops real feelings for you, she will make sacrifices (i.e. stop working in certain places) and will be willing to wait for you.

But if your entire relationship is based on a whirlwind 4-5 day romance that revolved mostly around drinking and screwing, I wouldn't expect to much. So many girls here meet so many 1 week Romeos, that after awhile, they start to think they are all the same.

thats a very fair comment kerry.

why do guys think that they can come to thailand for a few weeks meet a girl and fall in love ?

they then do a bolt back home for work and expect the said girl to frigging wait around for them to come back ?

now its ###### freaking insane to expect this.

now let me throw this one at these guys and then they can give me an answer cause im getting tired of this sort of rubbish.

the same guy gets a girl friend back inhis own country and does his nuts.

he says to the girl : look darling, im heading of to old bloody blighty for months at a time to work but just you hang around till i get back will you.

now what is the farang girl going to do whilst he's a way ?

just to be fair some will hang in there but i bloody would not if i had a front bottom.

now lets get real here and stop pis-ing around as its bollics what im hearing from some punters.

if they want to meet a real nice thai girl you just have to be strait up and have a decent look around.

also if your bloody serious you need to live full time in los.

why cant they get realise that this is the top way to do it.

jesus,

im getting cranked up here but anyway punters,

cheers

ps listen to bleeding kerry will you.

[johnb]

maybe she does, maybe she doesnt.

if you like her then why not see where it goes? poverty leads to prostitution, not a bad heart.

Leftcross

IMHO this is spot on - totally agree

Johnb

[Thebigfella]

Hi

Of course i dont believe all girls are prostitutes and i hate that image of thailand you could have a perfectly nice time there and not come accross any. I would say that the % of prostitutes in thailand is not all that much greater than that of germany or holland from my experiance. I have lived in cities around the world where prostitution is a lot more prevelent it all depends where your situated or where you go. I have nothing against prostitutes they are just doing their job and if there was no business..........etc

All i wanted to do was get clear in my head that the silk bar was not bargirl bar (there is so much of this derogatory things posted on these forums about this subject it would make anyone think twice) as i havent been there too many times and the same prostitute was working both times i was there. (obviously not affiliated with silkbar) I know this because my friend told me this.

I never said i was going to fall in love with her. She knew straight from the start i wouldnt be around for very long, she knew i wouldnt be coming back i didnt ask anything of her she didnt ask anything of me. We just became good friends over the last while and im thinking about going back and see how thing go i would like to spend some time in thailand neway.

[kerryk]

Ok, lets clear your head. It may be better to know your girl was a prostitute. That way you have a reasonable idea of what to expect in terms of fidelity, trustworthiness and morals in general.

Can you go to Vietnam and expect the clerk at the mall to have sex with you on the first date if you are a young good looking Farang? Nope. It is not going to happen.

It may happen in the West especially if you are at the cosmetics counter.

It may happen in Thailand, matter of fact there is a really good chance it will happen.

Thailand is unique, a lot of girls from all walks of life here have sex for money. You can call it a mia noi, or a freelancer or whatever but your chances of scoring are better in Thailand than any other country in the world.

It is common for a Japanese male to be a virgin at 40 years old. That is not nor has it ever been common in Thailand.

A lot of single Western men come to Thailand. Why?

The difference between a good girl and a bad girl in Thailand is obvious to most Thais but escapes most Farang.

A good girl in Thailand is a virgin when you marry her.

I would venture a guess that statistically there are far more virgins married in Thailand than in the West.

Virginity here is still a virtue.

I would not bother worrying about bar girls or office girls or educated girls.

If she is a virgin she is a good girl. One can even make the sin sot contingent on that fact.

Virginity is not confined to the young. There are many 30 and 40 year old virgins in Thailand.

[meadish_sweetball]

If she is a virgin she is a good girl.

Perhaps in the majority view of this culture. But does it really matter if she is a strict adherent to local cultural mores, especially mores you do not support yourself? Do you think it means that girls who are not virgins, have bad personalities? Does it have a bearing on anything except for the fact that they have had sex, really?

In my opinion virginity has little importance for actual personality, as it can be lost in many ways - and even in the cases where promiscuity is present, it may not be an interesting variable - to me at least, it depends on how and for what reasons a person is promiscuous.

Let's take the following, not unlikely cases:

1. A girl who has had a longterm relationship with a guy previously, but he leaves her for another or she leaves him when she finds out he has been unfaithful. She has not had sex with anybody else but him. She thought he was the one and thought he felt the same. Not all that uncommon it seems.

Many girls who are (perhaps naively) looking for "rak diao jai diaow" get burned by the male propensity for keeping one or many mia noi.

2. A girl who is sexually curious and her curiousity gets the better of her. She likes sex and she does not let cultural norms stop her from having sex with guys she is attracted to. She may be looking for fun and sexual experiences before getting serious - or she may not be interested in raising a family. These girls are probably more common in Western countries, but surely they exist in Thailand as well. It probably comes with a high social prize though.

Also, physical virginity can be faked - you can never be 100% any girl is a virgin. Hymens can be operated back in for a price. Some girls who have not had sex, still do not have a hymen because of wear and tear from some activities like horseback riding or masturbation. All virgins do not bleed.

You are right that relatively many Thais remain virgins for a long time as it is more valued here, but what is the significance of this?

She is probably just getting money from her sis in europe or other guys stupid enough to send it. Isnt she??!

Yes, possibly. Families do help each other out so it might well be sis who pays (perhaps the bulk of the money comes from her husband or boyfriend though). I know of a few cases like that.

Naturally, unless you see black on white the sister's name on the money transfer papers, you cannot be sure the girl is not juggling other guys who pay her as well. This is fairly common in the KSR area even among non-bargirls. Whether they have had sexual relations or not you cannot know, although it is more likely if the guy keeps sending money.

Each case is unique, and if you think she is worth it and want to know what she is like, take your time to get to know her. If you are just out to have some non-commital fun, let her know. If she is really in love with you she might not like what she hears, but at least you are being fair.

[backflip]

Hey bigguy,

""Silkbar" on Koh san road I dont think the girls that serve the drinks are barfineable are they?"

Why don't you simply ask the woman in which you're interested?

[terry57]

look mate, here is the go ok.

walk into the bar, front the manager up and ask him what is going down in that bar.

i want to know as well as thats my area to hang when in los but im not in to the scene.

im only interested as id be very surprised if its bar fine material.

where not clairvoyant so the punters cant tell you.

look ill be back in los in october and ill sort it for you ok.

cheers mate

[dekka007]

Another Sean Thread - Nooooo - Cant take it - I am gonna jump......see me in pattayacitynews soon!

[donna]

pardon my ignorance but who the %^&* is Sean (not alice)

[terry57]

Another Sean Thread - Nooooo - Cant take it - I am gonna jump......see me in pattayacitynews soon!

mate,

do you think this guy is taking the piss or what as you give me the opinion that he might be. ?

look we got three of the bightest minds in los on this case and they are :

meadish, keeryk, and my top self.

so dont piss around as i want an answer !!!!!!

any way cheers mate

[Tippaporn]

why do guys think that they can come to thailand for a few weeks meet a girl and fall in love ?

they then do a bolt back home for work and expect the said girl to frigging wait around for them to come back ?

now its ###### freaking insane to expect this.

. . . I hate to blow a hole in your ship below the waterline, terry, but that's exactly the way it went down for me.

(Ahem)

[HarryHacker]

Another Sean Thread - Nooooo - Cant take it - I am gonna jump......see me in pattayacitynews soon!

Dekka...off topic, that freaking anti-hangover potion did not work by the way.

[dekka007]

Dekka...off topic, that freaking anti-hangover potion did not work by the way.

Tell me about it!!!

[VanZam]

Quick answer: I know the owner of Silk bar and NO the girls there are not "working", however... given the location of the bar I would be very surprised if she was a virgin or waiting for you while you were back home.

PM me if your not a troll and a phone call will clear this up.

[Thebigfella]

Thanks again to everyone who answerd my questions since my last post especially VanZam. I dont mind if she is not a virgin in fact i prefer girls that are not and i dont care if she has been with other guys i never asked her to wait for me. I have my answer now.

Re Silkbar vanzam your friend must run a good business with good management as my friend really did like working there and had lots of fun plus it was full both times i was there. Credit where credit is due.

I would just like to say i find it very disheartening posting on here because of the sinicism of a few of the posters even long term posters. If you truly believed me to be a troll then dont answer many forums have gone down hill because of this behaviour and the mods should take note.

Thanks

[Alreadyinuse]

Thanks clip my wings

thats what i wanted to know "not a working girls bar"

Thats what i thought but didnt spend enough time around it to be sure

One thing I always stress to people that are thinking about travelling to Thailand (especially single guys).

NOT ALL GIRLS ARE PROSTITUES! (you really have to emphasis this for some people)

Even if they are working in a bar, some girls are simply not available for horizontal activities (at least not on a casual, P4P basis).

I've seen girls that I know personally, turn down large amounts of money from guys looking to shag a stunner. (I watched one I know, on different nights, turn down offers of 3,000/5,000 and 10,000 baht. Her monthly salary as a dancer is 10,000.)

I personally know some girls that have met guys, became involved in a relationship, and stopped working in the bars. Some keep working, but don't do the P4P stuff anymore.

On the other hand, I also know some that keep right on doing it, business as normal, even with 1 or more boyfriends sending them money every month.

Having a successful relationship with a Thai girl isn't much different than having a successful relationship with a girl in your home country. If she develops real feelings for you, she will make sacrifices (i.e. stop working in certain places) and will be willing to wait for you.

But if your entire relationship is based on a whirlwind 4-5 day romance that revolved mostly around drinking and screwing, I wouldn't expect to much. So many girls here meet so many 1 week Romeos, that after awhile, they start to think they are all the same.

You said it all, no further comments are neccesary

[kerryk]

If she is a virgin she is a good girl.

Perhaps in the majority view of this culture. But does it really matter if she is a strict adherent to local cultural mores, especially mores you do not support yourself? Do you think it means that girls who are not virgins, have bad personalities? Does it have a bearing on anything except for the fact that they have had sex, really?

In my opinion virginity has little importance for actual personality, as it can be lost in many ways - and even in the cases where promiscuity is present, it may not be an interesting variable - to me at least, it depends on how and for what reasons a person is promiscuous.

Let's take the following, not unlikely cases:

1. A girl who has had a longterm relationship with a guy previously, but he leaves her for another or she leaves him when she finds out he has been unfaithful. She has not had sex with anybody else but him. She thought he was the one and thought he felt the same. Not all that uncommon it seems.

Many girls who are (perhaps naively) looking for "rak diao jai diaow" get burned by the male propensity for keeping one or many mia noi.

2. A girl who is sexually curious and her curiousity gets the better of her. She likes sex and she does not let cultural norms stop her from having sex with guys she is attracted to. She may be looking for fun and sexual experiences before getting serious - or she may not be interested in raising a family. These girls are probably more common in Western countries, but surely they exist in Thailand as well. It probably comes with a high social prize though.

Also, physical virginity can be faked - you can never be 100% any girl is a virgin. Hymens can be operated back in for a price. Some girls who have not had sex, still do not have a hymen because of wear and tear from some activities like horseback riding or masturbation. All virgins do not bleed.

You are right that relatively many Thais remain virgins for a long time as it is more valued here, but what is the significance of this?

She is probably just getting money from her sis in europe or other guys stupid enough to send it. Isnt she??!

Yes, possibly. Families do help each other out so it might well be sis who pays (perhaps the bulk of the money comes from her husband or boyfriend though). I know of a few cases like that.

Naturally, unless you see black on white the sister's name on the money transfer papers, you cannot be sure the girl is not juggling other guys who pay her as well. This is fairly common in the KSR area even among non-bargirls. Whether they have had sexual relations or not you cannot know, although it is more likely if the guy keeps sending money.

Each case is unique, and if you think she is worth it and want to know what she is like, take your time to get to know her. If you are just out to have some non-commital fun, let her know. If she is really in love with you she might not like what she hears, but at least you are being fair.

Virginity means she has had the willpower to delay sex until she is married. This is a personality trait. It demonstrates that she will be able to put off immediate satisfaction for future benefits. It means that she respects the will of her parents (in most cases) and the traditions of her culture. It is not easy and most of her companions will not have the same persistence.

How many Thai women ride horses?

I don’t have that much experience with virgins, more than I can count on one hand and less than I can count on two hands but in all my experience there was bleeding.

It was traditional in some Western societies to hang the sheet from the bridal chamber on the morning after the marriage was consummated. I believe this was in the expectation of showing blood.

Normally when dating a woman who works in a bar or club one knows what to expect and is prepared for the signs of problems. I don’t think this is the case when dating a lady working in an office where the presumption is that she is more like a Western woman.

The great majority of the women I have met in disco’s do not have jobs in bars they have day jobs in offices. That is why I suggested virginity as a test rather than occupation.

There are a couple of windows of opportunity for a successful long term relationship when dating a lady employed by the naughty industry and that is during the first couple of weeks of employment or after a period of years when she realizes her peak earning period is over and wants out of the business.

I like Thai women better than any other nationality I have ever associated with. But I am not after a wife. If I was looking to get married I would go to Vietnam where the expectation of fidelity/monogamy is more widespread than Thailand.

[terry57]

Thanks again to everyone who answerd my questions since my last post especially VanZam. I dont mind if she is not a virgin in fact i prefer girls that are not and i dont care if she has been with other guys i never asked her to wait for me. I have my answer now.

Re Silkbar vanzam your friend must run a good business with good management as my friend really did like working there and had lots of fun plus it was full both times i was there. Credit where credit is due.

I would just like to say i find it very disheartening posting on here because of the sinicism of a few of the posters even long term posters. If you truly believed me to be a troll then dont answer many forums have gone down hill because of this behaviour and the mods should take note.

Thanks

mate ,

you got to tough'in up a bit as this is the top forum in los and your playing with the big boys now.

these guys are sharp as a tack and if you dont get with the program your going to drown mate.

they have just given you a little slap and your bloody crying about it.

jesus mate, you wait till these guys really get cranking as they'll give you a run for your frigging money thats for sure.

now this is how you do it.

move in closer and listen bloody up will you ?.

you got to get smart mate, real ###### smart, use your brain matter and never show anger as thats just poor form as any bloody nutter can do that.

never tell lies as you get your self in deep <deleted> fella but blast away at the punters with all guns cranking using your intelligence to wipe them out.

run along now and dont tell anybody i told you this ok.

cheers my top friend

[terry57]

why do guys think that they can come to thailand for a few weeks meet a girl and fall in love ?

they then do a bolt back home for work and expect the said girl to frigging wait around for them to come back ?

now its ###### freaking insane to expect this.

. . . I hate to blow a hole in your ship below the waterline, terry, but that's exactly the way it went down for me.

(Ahem)

fair enough fella so dont keep me hanging.

what happen to your relationship ?

cheers mate