Wife changed when she got back to the village

zoza · March 29, 2015

not entirely sure if this is genuine case? but if so you have been here long enough and are old enough to know you

have granted all her wishes and spent a fair bit of money trying to make her dreams come true, only to discover

she has run out of patience because her schemes have failed and now you won't stay in "nakon nowhere"

she has threatened to kill you.....doesn't sound like there is anything in this relationship worth saving.

the child is a mistake your mistake...over the years I have seen many thai/farang kids, some are loved by both parents

others are sadly used as the nails to crucify the farang...get him to the uk asap, you must have some family,

if not you can get help to raise him.

most thai rural families think a farangs wealth should be shared along with his clothes and anything he has, when

a woman returns to the village she is put under constant pressure to exhibit the wealth that she has as reward for catching a farang.

my wife of ten years (no kids thanks) started playing up three months ago (menopause?) and she got very close

to my tipping point, so I booked a flight to the uk and as soon as she realised I was really going back to the uk she

managed to curb all those hormonal imbalances in hours, I have changed the dates but I am still going back in a month or so (and yes the new will is one of the things on my to do list)

I wish you the best of luck,but a return to this woman would be a none runner for me.

ExPratt · March 29, 2015

I sympathize with you mate , I had a similar situation 11 years ago with my wife and kids , funnily enough I lived in Kmpahwapi , Udon Thani.

We were in UK for a year 2001 and then I got a job in Taiwan and I moved the family back to Udon, I came back to Udon from Taiwan every 6 weeks or so. First thing I noticed about her father was he didn't work and was a right ponce. I used to have local piss heads who had been drinking with my wife come and ask me for money They didn't give a shit about the kids school even just nursery I paid for and the missus couldn't be arsed to take them

I was earning very good money Tax free in Taiwan and like a div I gave her a full access to my account, I was naive enough then to expect her to act like a European Woman and do the best for the family . Anyway it turns out she was a compulsive gambler and did 60K English of the money in the bank, She was also leaving the kids with people I didnt know and paying them to look after them while she was out playing cards and who knows what else. I came home from Taiwan in 2005, I'd already took the card off of her but she nicked it out of my draw and drew out 5k English. I warned her it was the last time , she sort of smirked , she knew I loved my children and thought she had me by the nuts , So what I did is I took both my children 3 and 4 at the time and went to live with some English friends in Pattaya and I or my children have never seen her to this day. When I first left she just kept calling me about money , she basically wanted me to "Buy" my kids. I was awarded full Sole custody of them 5 years ago.She was such a crap absent Mother my kids never once asked for her .Best thing I ever did in my life

What I found with my missus that when we went back to her small , poverty stricken village , She was now the big I am with her family and villagers , she didn't want to do any house work or take care of the kids she'd pay people to go to the shop for her ,she was a rich woman who'd made it big and could gamble without restraint

I hope it blows over mate its really a crap situation and totally unreasonable behavior. I find Thais can be quite vindictive and don't mind sticking the boot in when you are down. I don't know your full circumstances mate , otherwise I'd say keep the boy with you, if she wants to communicate and I'd say that she would,, Show her you looking after your son on your own has not rattled or bothered you.

slipperylobster · March 29, 2015

Sounds horrible. Go be happy somewhere else. Refrain from making babies at your age, and just enjoy life. I went through 17 years of hell, trying to see my Asian son. I stuck around and lived like a mud rat, while she made me miserable with threats. I had to fight hard, just to see him. Now she just passed away from cancer and he is living with relatives, for his final year of support. I see him just a few weeks a year, but we are very close. He told me, the week after she died, that she had a husband for eight years (I never thought that he had a stepfather). She dressed him in Private school uniforms and sent grades to me, that were all fictitious. (He lost 3 years of school). Now I am trying to get him a high school diploma (accelerated learning at home). He is fluent in english, and very smart and mature for his age. Now we are both happy. We chat weekly, and he will get to the states (us citizen). I see the light at the end of the tunnel....

I am sixty...swearing off babies. Time to enjoy.

He told me, the week after she died, that she had a husband for eight years (I never thought that he had a stepfather).

Here in Thailand he is usually referred to as "the brother"

or just leave the first two letters off "brother"

slipperylobster · March 29, 2015

I sympathize with you mate , I had a similar situation 11 years ago with my wife and kids , funnily enough I lived in Kmpahwapi , Udon Thani.

We were in UK for a year 2001 and then I got a job in Taiwan and I moved the family back to Udon, I came back to Udon from Taiwan every 6 weeks or so. First thing I noticed about her father was he didn't work and was a right ponce. I used to have local piss heads who had been drinking with my wife come and ask me for money They didn't give a shit about the kids school even just nursery I paid for and the missus couldn't be arsed to take them

I was earning very good money Tax free in Taiwan and like a div I gave her a full access to my account, I was naive enough then to expect her to act like a European Woman and do the best for the family . Anyway it turns out she was a compulsive gambler and did 60K English of the money in the bank, She was also leaving the kids with people I didnt know and paying them to look after them while she was out playing cards and who knows what else. I came home from Taiwan in 2005, I'd already took the card off of her but she nicked it out of my draw and drew out 5k English. I warned her it was the last time , she sort of smirked , she knew I loved my children and thought she had me by the nuts , So what I did is I took both my children 3 and 4 at the time and went to live with some English friends in Pattaya and I or my children have never seen her to this day. When I first left she just kept calling me about money , she basically wanted me to "Buy" my kids. I was awarded full Sole custody of them 5 years ago.She was such a crap absent Mother my kids never once asked for her .Best thing I ever did in my life

What I found with my missus that when we went back to her small , poverty stricken village , She was now the big I am with her family and villagers , she didn't want to do any house work or take care of the kids she'd pay people to go to the shop for her ,she was a rich woman who'd made it big and could gamble without restraint

I hope it blows over mate its really a crap situation and totally unreasonable behavior. I find Thais can be quite vindictive and don't mind sticking the boot in when you are down. I don't know your full circumstances mate , otherwise I'd say keep the boy with you, if she wants to communicate and I'd say that she would,, Show her you looking after your son on your own has not rattled or bothered you.

You did it the right way...

ExPratt · March 29, 2015

Meet the wife at a neutral location. Give back the boy to his mother. Arrange access and agree to pay for a decent school. Fees paid direct to school. Get divorced Take the bike and yourself to pattaya for some rnr.

Sent from my SM-G7102 using Tapatalk

65 years old Plenty of cool Thai girls available for you.. Give your son back to his normal life with his mum. Go get a life,you cant make your son happy.

that is the easiest but best way

I wouldn't , it would depend who was going to look after him in the village if the wife has resigned her maternal duties. When I returned from Taiwan and took my kids , both of them had rotten teeth where no one had cared or looked after them , my son was supposed to be going to Kinderkarten for 2 years couldn't write his name because that lazy cow couldn't be arsed to take Him to school , if his mother is looking after him for the majority of the time , fair enough

slipperylobster · March 29, 2015

If someone especially a hot tempered Thai threatens to kill you I would take it serious. Leave, try take the boy with you. Is he a UK Citizen? (Born there). Speak with the embassy for advice on that.

Or of course, just do a runner

Good advice. Fall back (tactical retrograde), build fortifications (seize accounts), use leverage (son), and get legal aid (Tactical Operation Advance planning).

Once you got the Intel...(know her weakness), implement your plan. Make sure you have two plans. Initiate your weaker plan (as a tactical demonstration) in the hopes that you do not have to use full force.

Sun Sziu sends. Use her weaknesses as your strength.

slipperylobster · March 29, 2015

The guy's not replied to any of the advice so far, I think I will call the police, she's probably topped him already, they will say its suicide, so not really worth the effort!

It could be that the OP just needed to get out. Perhaps had a few beers, panicked, and wrote for advice. Now, with a clear head, he may have done one of two things. Either he ran back to his wife (cannot care for his son) and begged for mercy...or he flew back to his country already, with the kid (I hope).

jamesjohnsonthird · March 29, 2015

If someone especially a hot tempered Thai threatens to kill you I would take it serious. Leave, try take the boy with you. Is he a UK Citizen? (Born there). Speak with the embassy for advice on that.

Or of course, just do a runner

Good advice. Fall back (tactical retrograde), build fortifications (seize accounts), use leverage (son), and get legal aid (Tactical Operation Advance planning).

Once you got the Intel...(know her weakness), implement your plan. Make sure you have two plans. Initiate your weaker plan (as a tactical demonstration) in the hopes that you do not have to use full force.

Sun Sziu sends. Use her weaknesses as your strength.

Either that or drone her sorry ass.

rixalex · March 29, 2015

Get the son out of harms way

If she threatened to kill you, then your son is your extension, he is not safe

Boys are sold to slavery too, especially light skinned and blonde

Don't play games

Negotiate from the UK and raise him yourself

He is 3

Won't even remember his mother

And when he is 20 he will likely have no father.

Rather one good parent for the first 20 years of your life than one crap one for 40.

20 is the age many people fly the nest and stand on their own two feet anyway. Not saying it won't be tough but he'll likely have a decent inheritance for financial security and will be reasonably well educated. He'll have opportunities.

What opportunities is he going to have spending the next 20 years in the back of beyond with an irresponsible mother who gives out death threats when she gets pissed off, and with a family who seem to think that's cool?

ExPratt · March 29, 2015

I sympathize with you mate , I had a similar situation 11 years ago with my wife and kids , funnily enough I lived in Kmpahwapi , Udon Thani.

We were in UK for a year 2001 and then I got a job in Taiwan and I moved the family back to Udon, I came back to Udon from Taiwan every 6 weeks or so. First thing I noticed about her father was he didn't work and was a right ponce. I used to have local piss heads who had been drinking with my wife come and ask me for money They didn't give a shit about the kids school even just nursery I paid for and the missus couldn't be arsed to take them

I was earning very good money Tax free in Taiwan and like a div I gave her a full access to my account, I was naive enough then to expect her to act like a European Woman and do the best for the family . Anyway it turns out she was a compulsive gambler and did 60K English of the money in the bank, She was also leaving the kids with people I didnt know and paying them to look after them while she was out playing cards and who knows what else. I came home from Taiwan in 2005, I'd already took the card off of her but she nicked it out of my draw and drew out 5k English. I warned her it was the last time , she sort of smirked , she knew I loved my children and thought she had me by the nuts , So what I did is I took both my children 3 and 4 at the time and went to live with some English friends in Pattaya and I or my children have never seen her to this day. When I first left she just kept calling me about money , she basically wanted me to "Buy" my kids. I was awarded full Sole custody of them 5 years ago.She was such a crap absent Mother my kids never once asked for her .Best thing I ever did in my life

What I found with my missus that when we went back to her small , poverty stricken village , She was now the big I am with her family and villagers , she didn't want to do any house work or take care of the kids she'd pay people to go to the shop for her ,she was a rich woman who'd made it big and could gamble without restraint

I hope it blows over mate its really a crap situation and totally unreasonable behavior. I find Thais can be quite vindictive and don't mind sticking the boot in when you are down. I don't know your full circumstances mate , otherwise I'd say keep the boy with you, if she wants to communicate and I'd say that she would,, Show her you looking after your son on your own has not rattled or bothered you.

You did it the right way...

I used to get attacks of guilt for taking the kids away from the Mother, which normally would be the worst thing a man can do to his wife , but she really didn't give a shit thankfully my kids are 13 and 14 now and are happy and well looked after. I was lucky enough to meet a woman a year after I left my wife , who I think fell in love with my kids rather than me , She has no kids of her own but is the best person I have ever seen with kids. My 2 call her Mere. The only message I ever hot from the Ex was from a her brief in 2008, He told me she had been arrested in Phuket for selling Ye bah and could I send her the some Money for bail, That is how much of a wrong un she was and if I'd left my kids with her when I left , God knows what would have happened to them

HooHaa · March 29, 2015

If you put the bird in a cage, you are forcing it to stay close to you, but then it is no bird anymore, and on the other side you never know if the birds really wants to stay with you. The only thing that you do is trying to ensure that "your problem" which is that the bird flies away from you, never reappears. The bird will never be happy in this way, and you neither because you know that the feeling is not true.

If you let the bird fly free and open up the cage, you will give it the opportunity to have freedom, if then the bird comes back to you, you know that it really wants to stay with you, that the feeling is true and you never need to have the fear that the bird flies away from you, because you know that it can choose to stay or to go. If it prefers to stay then you can be happy,the feeling is true and the bird isn't searching for something else, it's happy with you.

If it don't stays with you then you know that it wasn't worth it, and you don't need to waste your time trying to conquer the heart of the bird while it is closed in a prison. Give love and get it back. Give freedom and you get it back ( in this case you give phisical freedom and get back mental freedom , think about it )

or you could just cut out all the new age twaddle and settle for an appropriate mate next time around.

jamesjohnsonthird · March 29, 2015

If you put the bird in a cage, you are forcing it to stay close to you, but then it is no bird anymore, and on the other side you never know if the birds really wants to stay with you. The only thing that you do is trying to ensure that "your problem" which is that the bird flies away from you, never reappears. The bird will never be happy in this way, and you neither because you know that the feeling is not true.

If you let the bird fly free and open up the cage, you will give it the opportunity to have freedom, if then the bird comes back to you, you know that it really wants to stay with you, that the feeling is true and you never need to have the fear that the bird flies away from you, because you know that it can choose to stay or to go. If it prefers to stay then you can be happy,the feeling is true and the bird isn't searching for something else, it's happy with you.

If it don't stays with you then you know that it wasn't worth it, and you don't need to waste your time trying to conquer the heart of the bird while it is closed in a prison. Give love and get it back. Give freedom and you get it back ( in this case you give phisical freedom and get back mental freedom , think about it )

or you could just cut out all the new age twaddle and settle for an appropriate mate next time around.

Or you let that little bird out of the cage and it follows thru on the death threats.

You need to clip the wings. Leave her penniless in that village is your safest bet.

ExPratt · March 29, 2015

Seems to me the wife had enough of you.

Go back to her, be sincere with her and promise her you will change your attitude towards her.

A good thing also is to get a bunch of nice flowers for her.

Good Luck to you.

If you take the advice above, it may work for a week or month then she will do something similar again and you will end up going round in ever increasing nasty circles.

It sounds like you tried, it didn't work, your 65 and don't need this stress. Get away now even though it may hurt.

Agree , In this situation you don't want to give her a Win. She'll make your life a misery and use the kid to get her own way. You;ll lose face with her , her family and possibly the village , like I did, the Village idiot working his nuts off while my wife spunked all the money, much to the amusement of her family and my wifes drinking and gambling friends.

mauGR1 · March 29, 2015

I don't know if this OP is genuine or not, but my perception is that there are thousands of men, in Thailand and elsewhere, in a similar situation, and thousands in this moment are believing that " true love " can be bought.

Personally i believe that " true love " doesn't exist, and if it exists, i don't think you can buy it.

At the moment, the cure for the " my girl is different " syndrome, is still very expensive

ttthailand · March 29, 2015

Haven't seen a reply from the OP since the first one, did I miss something ?

If the OP is still reading.... Stay away and give it a few days to cool down. Just send her a message with a cell number of how to contact you , dont tell her where you stay! Let her contact you when she is ready. If you don't hear from her after a week I would send her another message saying you and the boy are fine and wait for her response. Depending on that.... If the situation did not defuse I would jump on the plan with your Child and go home to UK. Start a new life and forget about her, time will heal all. Just her actions show her true colors and a woman like that is not fit to have a child.

Enjoy being a single father ... You have a new direction in your life... You can do it if you want !!! Good luck.

farang000999 · March 29, 2015

65 year old man raising a 3 year old baby... sounds realistic.

He will be 80 years old upon high school graduation.

Is he is in very good health?

Puyai · March 29, 2015

Get the son out of harms way

If she threatened to kill you, then your son is your extension, he is not safe

Boys are sold to slavery too, especially light skinned and blonde

Don't play games

Negotiate from the UK and raise him yourself

He is 3

Won't even remember his mother

And when he is 20 he will likely have no father.

If brought up in the UK, at 20 he will be able to look after himself and will be grateful for his father giving him the opportunity to. At 20 and brought up here, he'll probably still be sucking on his mother's tit.

DP25 · March 29, 2015

If brought up in the UK, at 20 he will be able to look after himself and will be grateful for his father giving him the opportunity to. At 20 and brought up here, he'll probably still be sucking on his mother's tit.

More likely he'll have been sent to work in Boyz Town to support his worthless mother

Tchooptip · March 29, 2015

How old is your wife?

samuibeachcomber · March 29, 2015

Only one word of advice for the young lads of 50 years old plus : vasectomy

amazingly some 50+ men are embarking on their first family,it can work if the other half is genuine.

samuibeachcomber · March 29, 2015

you dont understand her mentality? to be honest i dont understand your mentality allowing her so much control and allowing her to abuse that control to the detriment of your relationship with her, your marriage, your son and your own life and finances. but that's in the past.

the marriage is finished and you would be a fool to invest any more money in it even if you feel up to investing more emotion in it.

if your son has british citizenship and you feel you can take care of him in the UK then take him there.

if he has thai citizenship then he'll be staying here. and you have to decide if you are staying or not.

Does not matter if he thinks he can take care of his son, he brought the boy into the world and now MUST raise him alone, away from the rape and torture and ultimate sex slave trade she will sell him too

What is wrong with you people who advise him otherwise

If the kid has a passport from UK, leave today

Immigration has no authority to stop him, yet

I dont think this is true.He would need the mother's consent.

mogandave · March 29, 2015

Why is it grown men are always the victim here?

60 year old man knocks up a 20 something and complains about losing some dough.

Meanwhile, 20 something's life is ruined.

<deleted> losers

ExPratt · March 29, 2015

you dont understand her mentality? to be honest i dont understand your mentality allowing her so much control and allowing her to abuse that control to the detriment of your relationship with her, your marriage, your son and your own life and finances. but that's in the past.

the marriage is finished and you would be a fool to invest any more money in it even if you feel up to investing more emotion in it.

if your son has british citizenship and you feel you can take care of him in the UK then take him there.

if he has thai citizenship then he'll be staying here. and you have to decide if you are staying or not.

Does not matter if he thinks he can take care of his son, he brought the boy into the world and now MUST raise him alone, away from the rape and torture and ultimate sex slave trade she will sell him too

What is wrong with you people who advise him otherwise

If the kid has a passport from UK, leave today

Immigration has no authority to stop him, yet

I dont think this is true.He would need the mother's consent.

If the kid has a Thai passport and he doesn't take him out of Thailand there is not a lot the Police can do, you cannot abduct you own child in Thailand , Possession is 9/10s of the law. If he has a Brit passport the old bill can do even less

loppylugs1 · March 29, 2015

I don't know if this OP is genuine or not, but my perception is that there are thousands of men, in Thailand and elsewhere, in a similar situation, and thousands in this moment are believing that " true love " can be bought.

Personally i believe that " true love " doesn't exist, and if it exists, i don't think you can buy it.

At the moment, the cure for the " my girl is different " syndrome, is still very expensive

yes plenty of farang idiots,"true love" do not make me laff,i think more of my dog than Thai girlfriend (and she knows it)

still one born every second,so it seems,sorry when it comes down to Thai wife kicking you out you must be a real catch

It gets wearisome reading crap related to this guys tale of woe, compulsory reading though,makes me feel better as I am not and never will be in his destitute state

Rorri · March 29, 2015

Seems to me the wife had enough of you.

Go back to her, be sincere with her and promise her you will change your attitude towards her.

A good thing also is to get a bunch of nice flowers for her.

Good Luck to you.

forget the flowers, but add a pickup (new)

I'm starting to wonder if Costas2008 does in fact live in Thailand, or if he has "dated" Thai women, I do not know any, Thai women, that want flowers, they hold no monetary or food value at all. I admit though, I do not know every Thai woman.

KamalaRider · March 29, 2015

Seems to me the wife had enough of you.

Go back to her, be sincere with her and promise her you will change your attitude towards her.

A good thing also is to get a bunch of nice flowers for her.

Good Luck to you.

Jeez Costas, you don't know much about Thai women do you.

If you did, you would tell him to fly back to UK a.s.a.p.

KamalaRider · March 29, 2015

OP, there's no returning back to her, just leave as soon as you can, don't even care about the bike, sell it or give it away, just leave as fast as you can.

Your son has a UK citizenship and passport?

If it was me, I wouldn't stick around after the treatment you've got. LEAVE as fast as you CAN. If she want to fix things, do it in the UK where you have some chance to get your view on matters heard.

ExPratt · March 29, 2015

Seems to me the wife had enough of you.

Go back to her, be sincere with her and promise her you will change your attitude towards her.

A good thing also is to get a bunch of nice flowers for her.

Good Luck to you.

forget the flowers, but add a pickup (new)

I'm starting to wonder if Costas2008 does in fact live in Thailand, or if he has "dated" Thai women, I do not know any, Thai women, that want flowers, they hold no monetary or food value at all. I admit though, I do not know every Thai woman.

My missus says and Ive heard it before that flowers are for dead people in Thailand.

rgs2001uk · March 29, 2015

Why is it grown men are always the victim here?

60 year old man knocks up a 20 something and complains about losing some dough.

Meanwhile, 20 something's life is ruined.

<deleted> losers

In some of the cases I have seen, the 20 somethings life was ruined long before the farang ever came on the scene.

Unwanted by the local Thai men she seeks a farang who doesnt understand how things work here.

I was talking to a girl in a Pattaya beer bar the other week, 23 years old, already had two kids aged 6 and 4, how many Thai guys are going to take her on and pay sin sot for the privilege?

rgs2001uk · March 29, 2015

<script type='text/javascript'>window.mod_pagespeed_start = Number(new Date());</script>

Seems to me the wife had enough of you.

Go back to her, be sincere with her and promise her you will change your attitude towards her.

A good thing also is to get a bunch of nice flowers for her.

Good Luck to you.

forget the flowers, but add a pickup (new)

I'm starting to wonder if Costas2008 does in fact live in Thailand, or if he has "dated" Thai women, I do not know any, Thai women, that want flowers, they hold no monetary or food value at all. I admit though, I do not know every Thai woman.

My missus says and Ive heard it before that flowers are for dead people in Thailand.

My mrs told me a long time ago, dont give me flowers, I cant eat them.

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