Can someone give me advice on falling for a Thai girl?

[GOLDBUGGY]

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Any explanations as to why i should/should not pursue her? I mean yes, she most likely was going off with other blokes when i'm at home but that is fine, I don't own her any was never in an actual relationship with her. But I made my intentions clear to her and she seems like she is willing to change. I know i should be skeptical because it's the thai way to lie about this stuff

Long Distance Relationships are very difficult. Would you or her be happy with seeing each other a couple times of the year? If so, for how long?

Have you looked into getting a Visa to stay here in Thailand? For a guy your age it is not easy. Or her to your country? Being uneducated, probably the only way she could go with you for any length of time, or for you to join her in Thailand, is if you were married. But even then it takes money and a guy your age probably doesn't have what you need.

It is also not easy to work in Thailand. You need a Work Permit which is only issued under special circumstances. Even if you could work here what would you do? An English Teachers is perhaps the most common but even then you need a Training Certificate in Thailand to do that. The pay here, compared to back home, is also near as much and not what you may expect.

To make this work you need to be together more, and just like in any other normal relationship. For you to do that you need money. A lot of money. They say money can't buy happiness but in your case it could. You might be thinking that in Thailand you could live on very little money, and maybe you could for a little while. But like my Dear Old Mother used to say: 'When the Wolf comes to the Door, Love Fly out Window."

You might even be racking your brains out now trying to figure out ways in which you could be together now. Or come to the conclusion that you can live this way for a couple of more years and until you are in a better financial situation, which you can't. Your intentions may be good, and your feeling strong, but women are born with biological clocks, and at your age it starts ticking much faster.

They still see themselves beautiful, but by age 26 they already see themselves getting old, and when men might stop looking at them. Where men, or at least in my case, I didn't start to feel that until I was over 40 years old. Your Girl Friend comes from a poor family. Since she is uneducated she does not have a bright future in Thailand. Like any woman, she needs security in her life. Her only assets are her youth and beautify, which don't last long, so she will use these to the fullest.

So even though your Girl Friend could in fact truly Love You, under your present circumstances it would not surprise me at all to see her leave you for a much older man, who could provide her the security she feels she needs. Perhaps something you would not expect in the West. But then in the West these women do not know what real poverty is either. In a country that does not provide great job opportunities for the uneducated, a Welfare System or a Government Pension.

So what I am saying is that with this relationship you are setting yourself up for a lot of Heart Break. I know as I went through one many years ago. We never could make it so we could be together for a long time, so after 2 years we broke up, as she couldn't take this waiting anymore. But we do remain friends after 20 years.

By the way you are talking it sounds like you are falling into Love and perhaps it is to late for you now. But already you doubt your Girl Friend and what she is up to. You try to convince your self she is honest with you because you want to believe that. But later you will drive yourself crazy when you call as planned, and she is not home or doesn't answer. When she told you she was at home with her parents, but when you call you hear males voices in the background, and loud music. When you find a guy named Frank, listed on her Cell Phone.

So my advice is unless you can be with her now, and in the future, then don't go down that road of hardship.

[louse1953]

Having a massive déjà vu attack right now. I swear TVF is recycling old threads & stamping them with new dates. Anyone else convinced they've read this before ?

There are only so many ways farangs can f... up in Thailand.The same situation is bound to repeat itself as newbie's come along and jump in head 1st.

[pmarlowe]

Falling for a poor Thai girl is what we all do, protests to the contrary are not to be believed. On the other hand, if you do it you should understand you are stepping into financial and emotional quicksand. The culture and the rules of engagement are so different than what you are used to. That's not at all to say don't do it. A good heart is a good heart.

[ozzieovaseas]

She does like you but that don't pay the bills , can you look after her financially ? if not she has little choice but to do what she is doing. As for Korea on average the make about 5000 U.S. P/M but as you said she is no suppose to work there.

Well, she does have a choice actually. She could get a regular job. I understand, she doesn't want to work 10 hours a day, 6 days a week, for just 7k a month when she could make 1-2k for an hour in Thailand and more in other countries.

I have heard the ol "she could get a regular job" thing so many times now its nauseating. Actually i often asked myself the question and came up with the same answer as you did.

But then i cant help but think to myself what would I do in the same situation?

...If born female in somewhere like Isaan, no money, no social security, no well-to-do family to offer help/support, no chance of getting good schooling/education. ect ect

The facts are, these very things that you lament are all part and parcel and the indirect reality of what attracted you here in the first place.

You left a country (presumably) with all the above boxes ticked. You come and live in a cheaper economy with money (i presume) already earnt/saved from the west, and have the hide to judge those that were born here and have no possible chance to do what you did or just up and leave for better pastures.

I guess you can call a spade a spade, but pretty arrogant attitude really

[laislica]

Falling for a poor Thai girl is what we all do, protests to the contrary are not to be believed. On the other hand, if you do it you should understand you are stepping into financial and emotional quicksand. The culture and the rules of engagement are so different than what you are used to. That's not at all to say don't do it. A good heart is a good heart.

+1

Life is a sum of all your choices. ~ Albert Camus

(Better make them informed choices then!)

Read the books mentioned

[EmptyHead]

She does like you but that don't pay the bills , can you look after her financially ? if not she has little choice but to do what she is doing. As for Korea on average the make about 5000 U.S. P/M but as you said she is no suppose to work there.

Well, she does have a choice actually. She could get a regular job. I understand, she doesn't want to work 10 hours a day, 6 days a week, for just 7k a month when she could make 1-2k for an hour in Thailand and more in other countries.

I have heard the ol "she could get a regular job" thing so many times now its nauseating. Actually i often asked myself the question and came up with the same answer as you did.

But then i cant help but think to myself what would I do in the same situation?

...If born female in somewhere like Isaan, no money, no social security, no well-to-do family to offer help/support, no chance of getting good schooling/education. ect ect

The facts are, these very things that you lament are all part and parcel and the indirect reality of what attracted you here in the first place.

You left a country (presumably) with all the above boxes ticked. You come and live in a cheaper economy with money (i presume) already earnt/saved from the west, and have the hide to judge those that were born here and have no possible chance to do what you did or just up and leave for better pastures.

I guess you can call a spade a spade, but pretty arrogant attitude really

Most girls from Isaan aren't prostitutes, you know. Most of them come from the background you describe and choose not to be prostitutes nonetheless.

[Tbone999]

Here's what I think, either this is a troll post or the guy's living in LaLa land. He come's here for a total of 68 days in 3yrs and develops a relationship with someone on the Internet. He meets her over a 3day stay in CM, presumably had some intimacy over that 1st period and got his hormones running. The gals obviously working the game, S.Korea to go and work as a massage girl with no sex involved, give me a break. She's obviously gone via an agent and other girls advice. Does he think someone can just go to his own country and get a job as a massage girl? Sure, she'll be trying to make herself some cash, and being poor will force her in that direction. If she has "crossed the line of no return" by allowing herself to be used, then her moral barrier is broken, and allows herself to act in any way to survive. She'll have no problem with lying, cheating, loving, but will he know if its genuine or not? NO he won't, and that will hound a guys mind if he has any sense of relationship. If he didn't, then he wouldn't be posting in the first place and would be bouncing up and down on the bedspread with other suckers money flying around. He makes the gal ditch her money flow and then questions her after the fact. Shame on YOU. She won't be impressed when you ditch her, but that's probably what will happen when you go for a working holiday in Aussie and meet some other great girl who you want to spend the rest of your life with. Leaving her in the same situation only older. Life is a bitch sometimes for a lot of people, everyone wants to get by and sometimes they have to do things they don't like, but messing around with other peoples lives is a no-no as far as I'm concerned. You need to live life and when you're sure of something, go for it, but stop pussy footing around. If you're not that kind of guy,consider what you will do in Thailand without being married, visa scenerio, working, involvement with the family. Do you actually know anything at all about Thailand? I very much doubt it. The advise of another poster to download the various info about Thailand is sound...have a read. It never ceases to amaze me that guys coming here want to just hitch up and leave their brains at home after just a couple of days /weeks here. Would he consider doing the same for a gal in his own country? I doubt it very much. I'll say this for the asians, they are definitely smarter than the average cookie!!

[Luxfare]

There is a level of cynicism and skepticism here that i'm quite surprised at. I am quite skeptical myself and don't know what to think, hence me posting here, but I don't think the situation is as black and white as some people are making it out to be. It's like just because something similar has happened with other people before and it went to shit, then it will be guaranteed go to shit for me. This ignores all the stories that never went to shit because people didn't bother signing up to forums to complain about them.

Yes, she has lied to me about things before. Yes I am hesitant to place my trust in her. As I mentioned, I have never paid her any money, and this is why she has to go to Korea. By the way, she booked the whole Korea thing whilst I was outside the country and she didn't know I'd be back so soon so it's not like she abandoned me.

A further bit of back story on this girl in case it might be relevant. She worked in a factory in Bangkok for 9 years before doing massage. She was with a Thai partner for 8 of those years but eventually the relationship fell apart. They had been paying off a house together but never finished the payments. Her father abandoned her as a child and she is not in contact with him. Her mother never took care of her and she is rarely in touch with her. Her granny was the one who took care of her as a child and she tries to provide for her as much as possible.

I personally was not prepared to give my money to her because i'm still trying to figure out exactly what to do with my own life in terms of career, and because I think paying monthly to be with a woman while i'm not in her country and living together is completely retarded and is no basis for a relationship. I also don't have much money to give away. This is obviously why she was going with that English guy. BUT, she stopped all contact with him. Why did she do this? He was providing money she could send to her granny every month, she could have easily kept up the illusion that she was in Malaysia working while going off with him. But she admitted everything to me and stopped contact with this man. This man who was a source of income for her family. If all thai women give a shit about is money, if all she sees when looking at me is a potential future cash windfall, why in gods name would she break it off with him?

Firstly NOT all Thai women are after money. I met my now wife 7.5 years ago while she was studying in England, turns out she was a hiso ( didn't have a clue about that term before coming to live here). So far her parents have bought her a condo for us to live, paid for half the wedding, refused sin sod and gave me an interest free loan to pay off my debts in the UK....however, they don't need money from me. If the family were poor and needed income then 99% of the time the daughter will be expected to provide. Now you ask why she would dump the Brit for you? One explanation could be that you're more fun and better looking and soon you'll be expected to provide the shortfall and the bonus to her is that she got a younger version....let's face it , she'd rather have 6 pack paying than paunch paying.

My advice ( and like I said I've never dated an issan girl) would be to take little steps and NEVER go all in....not even when you're certain of her. Keep something for yourself always and that way if things go South you have a safety blanket.

[wabothai]

Play the girls and don't allow them to play you. Eventually (years) you will find the right one if you haven't already in the US.

[slipperylobster]

Play the girls and don't allow them to play you. Eventually (years) you will find the right one if you haven't already in the US.

and wear a condom...especially if you are not shooting blanks with that pistol.

[khunPer]

My best advise, read 2 books:

“Thailand Fever” by Chris Pirazzi and Vitada Vasant (paiboon publishing 1-887521-48-8), tailandfever.com

Which is a serious book about relationship with a Thai, written in both English and Thai, so both you and your partner can read it, as it also tells the Thai about a relationship to a farang.

And:

“Love Entrepreneurs” by Phil Nicks (Monsoonbooks 978-981-05-95211-0) monsoonbooks.com.sg

Which seriously tells about the financial part of a relationship.

And if you are more into novels, a normally highly recommended book (which I agree in) is:

“Private Dancer” by Stephen Leather (Three Elephants 974-92755-3-5) threeelephants.com

All books can be obtained be obtained from bookstores in Thailand (don’t buy in airports, often double price) or from Amazone.

A Thai-foreign relationship can work very well, if both parts understand each other – I talk from experience – and can go deadly wrong if misunderstanding the intentions from the other part.

Wish you all the best.

[smudger1951]

Remember,if you settle with a Thai lady its with her family as well an you are still young to take that on. Consider the practicalities and the odds of an enduring loving and trusting mixed culture relationship

[BKKBodhisattva]

How can you tell when a Thai girl is lying? ...her lips are moving?out

That is an over generalization, but in the case of Isaan girls, (and Buri Ram is in Isaan) it is pretty much the norm. Guys like you are like a winnig lottery ticket. Instant fortune for her and her family. Funny how Thai guys knock them up and then leave them to raise the kid on their own, with no repercussions, but a Farang guy comes along and if he does not fork out for her kids and family, he is a Cheap Charlie!!

They love money, not you. They will do anything for money, ... sell themselves for sex, pretended love or companionship. Do n ot fall for their lies and stories of woe, ...Daddy is sick, the buffalo died, the wheel fell off the pickup truck, school fees due, ..... always something to get your wallet out!

Do you really think that any Farang woman is better?

Oh God. Not again

[kaidahousecat]

If you ask people for advise here, most will probably recommend you to leave her behind and they are probably right. Dont think about the sweet things she have done or said, it means nothing. She is sweet because she wants you, not because she is a good heart person. She might be a good heart person, but is not at all connected to her sweetness.

That being said, you should listen to your heart and follow the way you feel is the best for yourself.

[xylophone]

You asked for advice and you got it, and loads of it, going from one extreme to the other. So now I'd like to give you mine and in no particular order........

You have covered quite a few good points and mention the fact that you can't be here all the time to continue a one-on-one relationship, and therefore you don't really mind what she does in her "own time". I think that is a very mature attitude, and one which not many people can live with.

On that note, IMO many Thai girls seem to be able to quite easily consider the sex act to be nothing whatsoever to do with love, whereas we in the Western world can get hung up on it. What I'm saying is that she may well be able to have sex or perform sex acts with other guys and not have a guilty conscience whatsoever mainly because she isn't in love with him. She keeps her heart separate, so it's no big deal for her.

If she knows you have no money, then something else could be in play, mainly that she likes you, or quite possibly that she sees you are an intelligent person with a future and she would like to be part of it, and of course that could include money – – a bit of a dilemma, but much of that is in the future and that is my next point.

Many of the posters seem to be looking at long-term stuff, looking into the future about marriage, kids, house and so on, but what's wrong with living in the NOW, especially as you are a young man.

Despite all of the advice given, you could just go with the flow, keep the same attitude that you have with regards to what she does in her own time, and see where the relationship leads. It could be good fun, a great ride or it may end in heartbreak, but at the end of the day you will have had experience and as one another poster has said, you will surely be better off for it.

Perhaps you're thinking too hard about something which really doesn't warrant in-depth thought. When I was your age, I just went with whatever came my way and have never regretted it, whether it be with regards to relationships, love, work, career and having fun, so live life in the now and go with your own thoughts and decisions, because after all, you are the only one that can make them.

[bazza40]

Haven't you worked out yet your girlfriend is for sale to the highest bidder? There are plenty of girls around who can juggle 4 or 5 falangs at the one time. They have a dictionary of excuses for non-availability. It doesn't necessarily mean they are bad, just brutally pragmatic.

Rest assured you cannot change her culture. That's as futile as trying to scoop up water with a sieve. Family is everything to a Thai, and falangs run a poor second. Accept it if you want to save yourself a lot of heartache.

Take her for a short holiday and shag yourself stupid, then dump her. There are plenty of Thai women out there who make devoted companions provided you can accept you are expected to give financial support. I do find it rather difficult to swallow the stories of Thais supporting falangs, or not needing financial help of some kind.

[Ocicat]

Keep a close watch on your purse strings. They think all farangs are millionnaires.

[swoods58]

Just quickly on the topic of working in Korea, I know a Thai girl who worked there for 16 months, in a factory, who told me she didn't have sex for the whole time she was there. And she was a gogo girl from Windmill in Pattaya and can assure you she wasn't lying.

Edited April 18, 2015 by swoods58

[laislica]

My best advise, read 2 books:

“Thailand Fever” by Chris Pirazzi and Vitada Vasant (paiboon publishing 1-887521-48-8), tailandfever.com

Which is a serious book about relationship with a Thai, written in both English and Thai, so both you and your partner can read it, as it also tells the Thai about a relationship to a farang.

And:

“Love Entrepreneurs” by Phil Nicks (Monsoonbooks 978-981-05-95211-0) monsoonbooks.com.sg

Which seriously tells about the financial part of a relationship.

And if you are more into novels, a normally highly recommended book (which I agree in) is:

“Private Dancer” by Stephen Leather (Three Elephants 974-92755-3-5) threeelephants.com

All books can be obtained be obtained from bookstores in Thailand (don’t buy in airports, often double price) or from Amazone.

A Thai-foreign relationship can work very well, if both parts understand each other – I talk from experience – and can go deadly wrong if misunderstanding the intentions from the other part.

Wish you all the best.

Haven't heard from the OP for a while.

Maybe he is actually having a go at getting some of the books that some of us have recommended?

Well I hope so anyway!

[nithisa78]

You like what's going on when you're with her. Keep calm , keep quiet and allow it to unfold in a natural manner.

Best of luck. Don't chase butterflies. It isn't about Thai, it is about humanity.

[tifino]

...years later... when she's now 50. Daily, two, three, maybe 10 sms's a day coming and going - work calls of course!! - all those johns who, even though maybe only 28 they can't let go nor begin to imagine how old she really is...

...and she's lapping it up, all those young boys are interested in her.

and there you are in the foreground, but really in the background.

You have ready, all that affection and love for her, but that doesn't make money

"you can't eat love"...

you'll start trying harder'n'harder to show her that all the affection she needs are already at home - but it doesn't wash, doesn't sink in, but so easily rejected...

all you get back from all your affection is "you lub me too mutt"

"find yourself anuther girl"

"find young girl you want sx too mutt, you want baby"

"I gigiyut"

"don' like sx"

"sx only give money"

"I want more money, you no money"

blah blah blah

I'll revisit this Post in 20 years and see how close the above was...

Edited April 18, 2015 by tifino

[unclejacklondon]

And you may find yourself living in this girls room

And you may find yourself in another part of the world

And you may ask yourself , how did I get here ?

And you may ask yourself ,how did I find this forum ?

And you may ask yourself , why these guys know all the answers

And you may ask yourself , Am I right ? or am I wrong ?

And you may say to yourself , my god what have I done ?

Same as it ever was same as it ever was same as it ever was same as it ever was ........

[EmptyHead]

<script type='text/javascript'>window.mod_pagespeed_start = Number(new Date());</script>

My best advise, read 2 books:

“Thailand Fever” by Chris Pirazzi and Vitada Vasant (paiboon publishing 1-887521-48-8), tailandfever.com

Which is a serious book about relationship with a Thai, written in both English and Thai, so both you and your partner can read it, as it also tells the Thai about a relationship to a farang.

And:

“Love Entrepreneurs” by Phil Nicks (Monsoonbooks 978-981-05-95211-0) monsoonbooks.com.sg

Which seriously tells about the financial part of a relationship.

And if you are more into novels, a normally highly recommended book (which I agree in) is:

“Private Dancer” by Stephen Leather (Three Elephants 974-92755-3-5) threeelephants.com

All books can be obtained be obtained from bookstores in Thailand (don’t buy in airports, often double price) or from Amazone.

A Thai-foreign relationship can work very well, if both parts understand each other – I talk from experience – and can go deadly wrong if misunderstanding the intentions from the other part.

Wish you all the best.

Haven't heard from the OP for a while.

Maybe he is actually having a go at getting some of the books that some of us have recommended?

Well I hope so anyway!

I hope he's ball-deep. Best thing for him!

[Blackfox]

Mate, you are 24 with the world at your feet.

She doesn't have to be the "one".

There are many lovely girls here in your age group with no hidden agenda, although many of the posters will have you believe otherwise.

Learn the culture and language. You don't need the books.

[GOLDBUGGY]

<script type='text/javascript'>window.mod_pagespeed_start = Number(new Date());</script>

You asked for advice and you got it, and loads of it, going from one extreme to the other. So now I'd like to give you mine and in no particular order........

You have covered quite a few good points and mention the fact that you can't be here all the time to continue a one-on-one relationship, and therefore you don't really mind what she does in her "own time". I think that is a very mature attitude, and one which not many people can live with.

On that note, IMO many Thai girls seem to be able to quite easily consider the sex act to be nothing whatsoever to do with love, whereas we in the Western world can get hung up on it. What I'm saying is that she may well be able to have sex or perform sex acts with other guys and not have a guilty conscience whatsoever mainly because she isn't in love with him. She keeps her heart separate, so it's no big deal for her.

If she knows you have no money, then something else could be in play, mainly that she likes you, or quite possibly that she sees you are an intelligent person with a future and she would like to be part of it, and of course that could include money – – a bit of a dilemma, but much of that is in the future and that is my next point.

Many of the posters seem to be looking at long-term stuff, looking into the future about marriage, kids, house and so on, but what's wrong with living in the NOW, especially as you are a young man.

Despite all of the advice given, you could just go with the flow, keep the same attitude that you have with regards to what she does in her own time, and see where the relationship leads. It could be good fun, a great ride or it may end in heartbreak, but at the end of the day you will have had experience and as one another poster has said, you will surely be better off for it.

Perhaps you're thinking too hard about something which really doesn't warrant in-depth thought. When I was your age, I just went with whatever came my way and have never regretted it, whether it be with regards to relationships, love, work, career and having fun, so live life in the now and go with your own thoughts and decisions, because after all, you are the only one that can make them.

You are obviously confusing a Bar Girl to a normal Thai Women. Where sex for money is just work.

Thai Women are more careful about having sex then a Western Women. Many are Virgins past there 20th Birthday were in the West you would be hard pressed to find one over the age of 18.

Perhaps Thai Women do not put as such an importance on Love, as Western Women do, but is that so bad? In a culture where marriages were arranged, and even today parental approval is a must, then Love has very little to do with that. You could say the same thing about India and Saudi Arabia. In these countries, and in most cases, love comes later.

If Teen Pregnancy is high here, this has more to do with the lack of Sex Education then being promiscual, I highly doubt that Thai Teens start earlier than in the West or are more frequent in this regard.

[roro1990]

Hi everyone, an update to this seeing as people seem to be interested in it. After much thought from what I've read on here, I came to the conclusion that she definitely gave happy endings before. I pressed her for ages about this and for ages about what she is doing in Korea. She finally admitted that yes she gave handjobs to customers in the past. I felt instantly nauseous and told her she was the same as a bar girl to which she replies "not same because not have sex" haha give me a break. It was a long conversation in which I told her how I felt about it and asked why she felt the need to give people handjobs. She simply said she needed money otherwise she couldn't feed herself. I hung up the phone and told her that it was disgusting she would degrade herself like this for money and that she has no self-respect. I feel bad for being harsh about it but I can't help how I feel. No matter how nice she has made me feel, a woman who has felt the need to masturbate men for money isn't someone I want to stay with. I'm not even particularly sad, I just feel empty. Because there is a nice girl lurking in there somewhere and i'm pretty sure I came very close to finding it. I'm not sure if i'll remain in contact with her or not. I have many fantastic memories with her and the fact I need to stay in her room for a couple more weeks will not help matters. But i'm fairly sure I have no future with her. She vowed that she has given up handjobs but I told her if she has done it before she will do it again. She is adamant there is nothing sexual about her job in Korea. On the one hand id believe her because she admitted the handjob thing, she already put her darkest secret on the line to me, but on the other, all past experience with her points to sex services in Korea.

[sir charles IV]

It's sometimes called "the white knight syndrome". I can explain it if u wish or google it. It happened to me. She was not a bar girl or in massage work. She had 9-5 job in office. Other than that she had old farang bf who sent her money. I thought I could marry her, give her a good life where she did not need anything or anyone else to support her. I kept my end of the deal. Got married, moved to oz, had a car and house and treated her like a queen. Old ha it's didn't die and she started looking for greener pastures. I divorced her cancelled her visa and realised it's not worth changing people. It's either right at the start or not. Why put yourself through hardship at the off chance that it will work. I'm now married to my second Thai wife. I learned the semi-hard way (cost me money) but now I think I've got a keeper as I did not have to compromise much. In your case I am reasonably confident that you'll go through with this and most likely it will not work out. But heck enjoy the ride. There is nothing more precious than being madly in love. We all have made mistakes and I. Due course you will realize it but rest assured you're not alone and won't be the last person who allowed the heart veto the mind. The fact that you've already anticipated problems and preparing yourself for potential failure is a good thing. Go ahead but ensure u don't commit yourself too much financially and emotionally. Some guys have committed suicide after realizing it. Your idea of going to oz for a while is an excellent idea. Do it and you'll thank yourself later. Thai women can be like poison ivy. We have fallen for the spell and so have you. Good luck mate.

[tifino]

you get given just enough information that she thinks is needed to keep you in line

Missus best Thai GF got married last year.

Her other half didn't know anything of her past (and present) (She and my missus call him a 'dumb' boy)

She's 43, he is now 29

She was despised by his mum, who knowing nothing about her, was open against her...

Mainly due to the age factor, the nowMIL expects grandchildren

43 had already been sprung by her then BF, with work-protection under her driver's seat.

She admitted that one time only that she was working...

He not like it, the lying especially, but 43 throws it back on him to leave - so he backs off...

They marry, and MIL is now 'publicly' liking 43 because 43 has promised she'll make babies...

MIL doesn't know about the 'working'.

In the meantime 43 promised 29 she's not working anymore (6 months ago)

A couple of weeks ago he finds out she's back at 'work' again - and angry of course...

43 reacts the same, but adds she is only 'massage', and blatantly refuses to stop what she's admitted to him.

Of course she only told him enough - limited to what he wanted to hear.

However, real sx work is really happening (which means she's still on the Pill)...

But of course she says she's not on the Pill, to him...

In the meantime new hubby is getting worried why they cannot get her pregnant?

( she won't admit to him she's still on the Pill, so therefore smokes the facts about why no kids yet)

She's so hard as a brick on this that she even went along with her game and has had the young fella go get himself checked for potency.

He Passed

She went to her Dr (but of course wouldn't let hubby go along because he would have heard the bit from the Dr about her being on the Pill, (but farangs must always be kept in the dark)

Edited April 18, 2015 by tifino

[Squeegee]

I hung up the phone and told her that it was disgusting she would degrade herself like this for money and that she has no self-respect.

OK, now I definitely think you're a fool.

Thank goodness this poor girl seems to be rid of you.

Furthermore, you should get out of Thailand because you're completely clueless on every level.

Good luck to her not you.

Edited April 18, 2015 by Squeegee

[smotherb]

As I said, you just want to hear what you want to hear and will be in denial:

It would be nice it at least one person posted a rational response, but i guess that was asking for too much

People like you are so predictable. You've been given very rational advice and it's you who is not being rational.

Rational was the wrong word. I meant to say more informative advice. Why exactly is it idiotic to pursue her? It's no good just saying yes or no. My reason for posting here was that my mind is in a bad place because I am falling for her and maybe failing to see the real truth here. I wanted it spelled out for me. It it an impossibility for this to work? I think we are similar people with similar interests and a well matched sense of humour so that is the reason i am falling for her.

Sure, it can work, but will it? In my opinon, formed after almost 50 years in Southeast Asia with knowledge of literally hundreds of farang-local relationships, the odds are against a lasting relationship with the girl you describe. However, depending upon her true feelings about you, it may work. It's her feelings which none of us can tell you.

I knew a girl who worked in the truck washes in Vietnam--you, know a place where a truck-load of GIs could stop for a beer and a short-time and maybe even get the truck washed. She was a very sexy little thing and was very popular, often 20 guys a day popular. A friend of mine fell in love with her; no amount of warning or knowledge of her activities, nothing, could change his desire to marry her. They were happily married for over 40 years, before he died. No one could have touched her after she married; she became a wonderful wife and mother. So, yes, it can work-out for you too, but I would not bet on it.