Considering looking for a thai wife.

[Lukasisgood]

Hi everyone.

So it seems that there are some knowledgable people here. I have reached a point in my life where I would like to settle down. I have been interested in finding a traditional Thai wife to settle down with for some time, but I must admit I am overwhelemed. I Never walk blindly into something and I have been doing a lot of research. I will be comeing to Thailand soon and I want to find somone who wants to live with me here in the states. I have money and businesses so we can keep a house in thailand as well. I don't mind spending money but is there a way to find a good girl that is not out to fleece a foreigner. I want a traditional relationship with a loveing wife. I will love and take care of her and it's her job love an look after me. Do I sound like a sap? Is there no place for a good guy in this mess?

gjve me some ideas on how to proceed. Thanks.

[peterjackson]

QUOTE : Do I sound like a sap?

ANSWER : Yes!

[Lukasisgood]

QUOTE : Do I sound like a sap?

ANSWER : Yes!

Haha well. I guess I am one then

[worgeordie]

Finding the right woman,involves a lot of luck,I was one of the lucky ones,

30 years on,so it can be done.

regards worgeordie

[Deserted]

Why do you want a Thai wife? Could you explain why she has to be Thai? I hate to state the obvious but Thai women aren't all the same and the best ones don't usually have contact with foreigners. If you think Thai women are a safe bet because you want to 'settle down' as you put it, then I suspect you will become another horror story.

Good luck to you, sounds like you will need it.

[Lukecan]

Find one in the US, if you're old 60-70 or something I can assure you the thai wife you bring to the US will entertain other cocks on the side and will give you the boot once she gets a green card.

[mcfish]

"a traditional Thai wife" What exactly are your expectations?

[canuckamuck]

Being open to having a wife from Thailand is fine, but you shouldn't make it your goal. Your goal should be to find someone you can trust and are ideologically compatable with. If you can find that here then go for it. It worked for me.

[Lukasisgood]

Thanks for everyones replies: I suppose she dosn't have to be thai I'd like to meet the right person reguardless of where she is born. Honestly I'm tired of western women. I'm 36 years old and succesful with my own business and I don't have a problem finding women. I'm sure there are some good ones out there, but there are just so many issues. If they have a job, then they do not have the time that I have to go places and do things. I started my business so I would never be trapped by a corporation or employer. I can go where I want when I want. Being with somone that has those restrictions is not the way I want to live my life. My last relationship this was an isssue. I go places and she had to always work and would angry that I was going to go anyway. She wanted me to stop traveling because she couldn't go. It just wasn't working.

Then there are the other types. The ones that are fine without working, but don't make Makeing a home and a life for their husband a priority. They like to not work but don't want to work on a home life and being a loveing wife. There are some, but woman like this are found in religons. I am spiritual, but I could never marry a christian woman. I love the bhuddist tradition and have incorperated much of it into my personal philosophy.

I don't know. It seems like a thai woman that is not in the bar scene could be a wonderful choice That is of course if she could fall in love with me aswell.

Honestly, I kike the idea of being able to bring someone and maybe her family out of a poor situation as well or at least help. Is it wrong to want to be your love's knight in shining armor. I don't want some kind of control. I'm a sap remeber. Chances are she will where the boots anyway. I would enjoy Makeing a life with a deserving person.

Thai women are most likely bhuddist. I love this philosophy and want to emerse myself in it. I will be staying at a monestary for a while to learn more. It seems like a natural fit. Am I wrong? I'm not planning on looking for a girl in the bar scene, but i don't know where the wind will take me. That's why I'm posting here to gather information.

Certainly if other options present themselves I'm an open book Thai or not Thai, but I have never been one not to chase my dreams. This is the one thing missing for me.

[canuckamuck]

I think you need also to investigate the difference between Buddhism as it is presented, and how it is commonly practised by the citizens. And then if you don't mind making life decisions based on lucky tips and monks with a sideline in the fortune telling. you may be a good candidate.

[petermik]

At your age I suggest you visit Thailand and "experience" what qualities you are looking for in a thai woman

[55Jay]

Sounds like you really just need an on-demand traveling companion with benefits.

Or a buddhist puppy.

[mikebike]

You most definitely are not going to find what you are looking for by just landing in Thailand and starting your search. You will have to invest time in the country and culture, learn the language, build up a network of Thai friends, filter through the BS... this all takes time, effort and money. What you are looking for is possible but no easier than anywhere else..

[itsmylife]

Count me in @Lukasisgood , but i,m not rich.

[Lukasisgood]

You most definitely are not going to find what you are looking for by just landing in Thailand and starting your search. You will have to invest time in the country and culture, learn the language, build up a network of Thai friends, filter through the BS... this all takes time, effort and money. What you are looking for is possible but no easier than anywhere else..

Exactly. Hence my post. The beginning of my education I

diddnt expect anthing different. I also expected to run into plenty of crabby people. Crabs never held me back before though. Thanks for the info.

[Lukasisgood]

Count me in @Lukasisgood , but i,m not rich.

Oh I'm not rich. I just made some good choices by sticking with something that I know and love. being a sap has done well for me.

[MaeJoMTB]

You most definitely are not going to find what you are looking for by just landing in Thailand and starting your search. You will have to invest time in the country and culture, learn the language, build up a network of Thai friends, filter through the BS... this all takes time, effort and money. What you are looking for is possible but no easier than anywhere else..

Exactly. Hence my post. The beginning of my education I

diddnt expect anthing different. I also expected to run into plenty of crabby people. Crabs never held me back before though. Thanks for the info.

Of course the problem is America,

Once she has her green card, she will be American, behave like every other American woman, and strip you bare.

Look forward to losing at least 50% of everything you own, lifetime alimony, and 20 years of child maintenance.

You want a reasonable chance of doing it the Thai way, you have to live in Thailand and give her no access to your home country or it's legal system.

[Lukasisgood]

At your age perhaps you should sit back and think. The biggy for you here will be the culture mindset which is a real challenge for many western guys to deal with.

If I were your age with cash, I would not be here in LOS......Took me a many years to understand LOS stuff, now I do..

I have worked with many people and am not a big fan of the western mindset either. is like to learn as much as I can about Thai life. That's why Im going to be spending a lot of time there.

[NickJ]

Try getting your Forehead ATM tattoo in henna first.

[itsmylife]

I,m looking for a farm girl too , best she owns land , beautiful n traditional type and no BS . Anyone have ? pls pm thks .

[itsmylife]

Been to vietnam few days ladies are beautiful and nice there , too bad i dun like the languages.

[Lukasisgood]

You most definitely are not going to find what you are looking for by just landing in Thailand and starting your search. You will have to invest time in the country and culture, learn the language, build up a network of Thai friends, filter through the BS... this all takes time, effort and money. What you are looking for is possible but no easier than anywhere else..

Exactly. Hence my post. The beginning of my education I

diddnt expect anthing different. I also expected to run into plenty of crabby people. Crabs never held me back before though. Thanks for the info.

Of course the problem is America,

Once she has her green card, she will be American, behave like every other American woman, and strip you bare.

Look forward to losing at least 50% of everything you own, lifetime alimony, and 20 years of child maintenance.

You want a reasonable chance of doing it the Thai way, you have to live in Thailand and give her no access to your home country or it's legal system.

I have thought about that aswell. I have read the stories. I'm ok with that on some levels. The romantic in me wants to beleive that if somone loves you, it shouldn't be that way, but I don't operate businesses on fantasy either. I'm actually considering a sort of esrly retirment. I have degrees in economics and finance, I can make money anywhere. I'm not concerned with jobs or income. I can run things from afare with ease. I don't know yet. I suppose it will have to be fleshed out as I go. But don't worry about me. I know how to protect my assets, and I may be a romantic sap, but no one will ever have "access" to my assets. Im no spring chicken, nor am I capable of going so gaga over some girl that I loose my wits. ?

[kekalot]

I agree with mikebike, finding a genuinely nice woman is not going to happen fast unless you are somehow extremely lucky.

I am younger than you (32) and have been living here for about 2 years now.

have never been in a bar and have no interest in that kind of stuff

meeting genuine thai women is next to impossible for me.

learning the language and getting into a Thai circle of friends would be the best first goal.

I think learning the language is easier than the 2nd one

because from my experience, online dating is not really a good option.

[Gecko123]

Dear Lukasisgood:

I am starting to wonder how much your image of Thai women is based on stereotypes.

For example, I haven't found Thai women to be particularly subservient or for that matter undyingly grateful for having been "rescued" no matter how much their material circumstances may have improved. Just a word of caution: The "I'm a knight in shinning armor coming to the rescue of the damsel in distress" mindset is not that uncommon over here, and some Thai women are very skilled at manipulating and financially exploiting these sentiments. Finally, it seems like the whole world is changing at breakneck speed, and I would say the number of women who would be satisfied with the singular life purpose of catering to her husband's needs is dwindling, and if you happened to find someone with such humble ambitions in life, I seriously wonder whether she would be able to carry on an intelligent conversation, much less be a fully functional life partner for you.

Yes, there are some women over here who might be quite happy to play that role in your life, but because of cultural cross currents, language barriers, and the potential that someone may be telling you what you want to hear for ulterior motives, finding what you are looking for on a short visit to Thailand is a very tall order. Personally, I think that a plan to come to Southeast Asia in the hopes of finding a doting, docile wife who will be eternally grateful to you for having given her the opportunity to wait on you hand and foot is ill-advised, and will most likely end in tears (mostly yours).

On a positive note: Many Thai women would probably find the free-spirited, adventurous, easy going, calm temperament, and interest in Buddhism which you project in your posts appealing.

Bottom line advice: Forget about finding a wife for now, and just come for a visit to get a feel for Thailand's culture and people.

[Lukasisgood]

Try getting your Forehead ATM tattoo in henna first.

That's the same with all women I'm afraid. Even women with money will not really take you seriously unless you bring something to the table. Girls are different, but im looking for a woman. Girls always turn into them anyway, so even if they think they are in some sort of romantic comedy, that illusion fades quick enough.

[55Jay]

In the OP, sounds like you've never even been to Thailand.

So you were thinking about this "for a while" and randomly chose Thailand as the country from which you wanted to go find a wife and take her back to the USA?

Being a sap is the least of your problems.

[itsmylife]

You most definitely are not going to find what you are looking for by just landing in Thailand and starting your search. You will have to invest time in the country and culture, learn the language, build up a network of Thai friends, filter through the BS... this all takes time, effort and money. What you are looking for is possible but no easier than anywhere else..

Exactly. Hence my post. The beginning of my education I

diddnt expect anthing different. I also expected to run into plenty of crabby people. Crabs never held me back before though. Thanks for the info.

Of course the problem is America,

Once she has her green card, she will be American, behave like every other American woman, and strip you bare.

Look forward to losing at least 50% of everything you own, lifetime alimony, and 20 years of child maintenance.

You want a reasonable chance of doing it the Thai way, you have to live in Thailand and give her no access to your home country or it's legal system.

I have thought about that aswell. I have read the stories. I'm ok with that on some levels. The romantic in me wants to beleive that if somone loves you, it shouldn't be that way, but I don't operate businesses on fantasy either. I'm actually considering a sort of esrly retirment. I have degrees in economics and finance, I can make money anywhere. I'm not concerned with jobs or income. I can run things from afare with ease. I don't know yet. I suppose it will have to be fleshed out as I go. But don't worry about me. I know how to protect my assets, and I may be a romantic sap, but no one will ever have "access" to my assets. Im no spring chicken, nor am I capable of going so gaga over some girl that I loose my wits. ?

Feel dun think , good karma get good wife bad karma get bad wife . I,m sure theres a lot good woman out there we just need to search and check it out .

[Lukasisgood]

Dear Lukasisgood:

I am starting to wonder how much your image of Thai women is based on stereotypes.

For example, I haven't found Thai women to be particularly subservient or for that matter undyingly grateful for having been "rescued" no matter how much their material circumstances may have improved. Just a word of caution: The "I'm a knight in shinning armor coming to the rescue of the damsel in distress" mindset is not that uncommon over here, and some Thai women are very skilled at manipulating and financially exploiting these sentiments. Finally, it seems like the whole world is changing at breakneck speed, and I would say the number of women who would be satisfied with the singular life purpose of catering to her husband's needs is dwindling, and if you happened to find someone with such humble ambitions in life, I seriously wonder whether she would be able to carry on an intelligent conversation, much less be a fully functional life partner for you.

Yes, there are some women over here who might be quite happy to play that role in your life, but because of cultural cross currents, language barriers, and the potential that someone may be telling you what you want to hear for ulterior motives, finding what you are looking for on a short visit to Thailand is a very tall order. Personally, I think that a plan to come to Southeast Asia in the hopes of finding a doting, docile wife who will be eternally grateful to you for having given her the opportunity to wait on you hand and foot is ill-advised, and will most likely end in tears (mostly yours).

On a positive note: Many Thai women would probably find the free-spirit, adventurous, easy going, calm temperament, and interest in Buddhism which you project in your posts appealing.

Bottom line advice: Forget about finding a wife for now, and just come for a visit to get a feel for Thailand's culture and people.

Sounds like good advice. I don't want somone to dote over me anymore than im willing to dote over them. I don't want a subservient wife. I want a loveing one like anyone else. I know she is not going to be a perfect stepford wife. Hell I wouldn't mind somone who could help me run my afairs. A partner in crime so speak. I have no intention of stifling anyone's ambitions, but I can't deal with somone tied to a job or at the mercy of a career.

I think there are women out there that legitamately like chivalry in their men. In fact it always seems the best relationships I have seen that there was an element of this there. I don't think it's dead and I think intelligent woman can legitamtly appreciate this without lowering themselves. The right woman can rescue me as well. We will see. I'm just going to have to dive in I guess ATM tatoo and all. I'm tired of waiting. 36 is young but not that young, it's not my style. I might be dead in five years it's time to make this part of my life happen.

[Lukasisgood]

In the OP, sounds like you've never even been to Thailand.

So you were thinking about this "for a while" and randomly chose Thailand as the country from which you wanted to go find a wife and take her back to the USA?

Being a sap is the least of your problems.

not randomly Jay. I read a lot and do my homework. I did not get to where I am without being prpared. I'm sorry to say my experience with Southeast Asia is limited. I'm familure with the philapene and Chinese cultures. I can even speak Mandrin to a degree. I have had it on my mind for at least a decade, but for one reason or another I kept putting it off. Not any longer. I will be decent at speaking Thai inside of three years and I will have spent a lot of time there. In fact, this conversation is part of the leaening process.

Being a sap may very well turn into an asset. Being a sap is not being stupid, but yes my tendency to give does have to be tightened up a bit around people that may be out to con me. I'm aware of this.

[Lukasisgood]

There are a zillion out there like yourself who thought/did the same thing........Many come here (the forum to ask how to sort their woes out. Of course nobody listens in the first place, l was one, but the years taught me stuff and am now trying to help guys out with a problem....

Your head chum, do what you want to do, go for it, you may be one of the lucky ones..

Hopefully. I'm a risk taker always have been. People told me starting my businesses was going to be hard and a waste of money too. I was taught to go to school, get good grades, then get a good job with a big corporation. I'm dam glad I didn't listen.

I know how to invest with always leaving a quick out. I appreciate your concern. I know it is well given. As this proceeds I do intend to navigate the pitfalls. I'm a smart guy who has been around a bit. I'll never get wrapped up in things I can't handle.

Thanks. I mean that.