Lecturing girlfriend about Buddhism

[SGX]

Best words to ever say to a girl " Yes Dear"

[JHolmesJr]

I don't think majority know or understand much about anything... just what is drilled into them from birth…parents are GOD, farangs are DOG, no one greater than the bossman etc etc….all the buddhist traditions they carry out blindly like they were going to the toilet….save your breath and tell her ok lilac, now can you get me one more beersing.

[FritsSikkink]

Not if you want to enjoy peace and harmony - then NO, if you have issues deal with the issues and respect her beliefs.

The only issue I see is the hypocrisy of a greedy person professing to be a Buddhist.

So why do you have a relation with a greedy hypocite?

[laislica]

Not if you want to enjoy peace and harmony - then NO, if you have issues deal with the issues and respect her beliefs.

The only issue I see is the hypocrisy of a greedy person professing to be a Buddhist.

I sort of get that but;

IMO Thai's see Buddhism as a lucky ritual.

They give to make merit and to gain good luck for a specific or future event/time.

Reminding her may cause her to spend more to make merit to gain the thing that you think is being greedy.

I see the Wat as a merit bank, nothing else.

On the other hand, a belief is a very powerful thing and can be creative and/or destructive.

Voodo witch doctors point the bone at someone in a ritual and that person dies!

I would be interested to know what it is that she wanted and what reason you would not give it and why you thought she was being greedy?

For sure all women will test the generosity of their man - world wide.

When my wife wanted to give too much to the Wat or throw too many parties to impress family and friends, I would say that it was fine as long as she remembers that it is her money that she is wasting and that we are both too fat so not affording to eat for a while might be a good thing!

We were buying a new house and then she wanted gold!

I said fine, you can have gold but I must first cancel the house purchase because we cannot afford both at this time.

The cure was almost instant!

We have a fixed income LOL

[Asheron]

Religious people are anti-intellectual. Just look at how many religious people do not even grasp the basic concept of evolution and ask really dumb questions like "if humans evolved from apes... why are they still around?". Sure, not directly related to "teaching/lecturing buddhism to wife/gf" but even the thought of supporting such a thing is... weird... to say the least.

[scorecard]

Pointing out some ones "hypocrisy" is not going to endear you to anyone in Thai or most Asian cultures and in fact will probably alienate you rapidly, if that is your goal, go right ahead.

No, it hasn't, and I don't use the word hypocrisy. I let her deduce it.

Ohh so you play mind games with her as well, expect her to guess what you really mean.

Ohh by the way have you ever desired anything that you don't really need to survive (want vs need)?

[bannork]

Religious people are anti-intellectual. Just look at how many religious people do not even grasp the basic concept of evolution and ask really dumb questions like "if humans evolved from apes... why are they still around?". Sure, not directly related to "teaching/lecturing buddhism to wife/gf" but even the thought of supporting such a thing is... weird... to say the least.

Many will say Buddhism is not a religion, it doesn't believe in a god with any supreme powers and Buddhists themselves are split as to whether reincarnation is true or not.But it's certainly not anti-intellectual.

To sum it up, I would say Buddhism says there are 2 truths in this world. The ultimate truth is nothing is permanent, our new car soon rusts, our bodies fall apart, so there are no permanent entities, rather there are ongoing processes. But to make sense of the world, we personalize it, identify objects, people, in order to function in everyday life, so we have our everyday truth of 'objects and entities'

.But our pain comes from assuming these entities are permanent and becoming attached to them, whether it's our lover or a computer, but of course they're not..

Awareness of the mind is all important in Buddhism, the mind fools us because of our emotional needs, we need this or that,

I think they were just explaining the sub-conscious way before the West cottoned on.

Of course this has nothing to do with everyday Buddhists or Christians, for example if you tell your girlfriend to be less selfish she could turn round and say, ' Have you turned the other cheek today? Have you given away all your possessions?'.And if you answer you are not a Christian but a post- nihilist believer in universal human values like democracy, she could turn round and say, 'But your government supports the Saudi Royal Family, a bunch of dictators, and you eat chicken , straight from a brutal factory farm.'

Our moral values are like a sieve that a double-decker bus from London could drive through, so one should be careful if you throw the first stone.

[Thongkorn]

Not if you want to enjoy peace and harmony - then NO, if you have issues deal with the issues and respect her beliefs.

The only issue I see is the hypocrisy of a greedy person professing to be a Buddhist.

Welcome to Thailand

[smotherb]

Not if you want to enjoy peace and harmony - then NO, if you have issues deal with the issues and respect her beliefs. Trying to be a "smart-ass" wont help.

A greedy gf is not peace and harmony. I think using analogies and examples to make a point is communication and not being a smart-ass. Using examples from Buddhism is showing your knowledge of the religion and is; therefore, showing some respect. The OP was not contradicting Buddhism, but his gfs practice of it.

[bil2054]

Thai people practice a fairly unique form of Theravada Buddhism, and with many local variations.
Aside from the inadvisability of "lecturing" ones love on any subject, unless you are a scholar on the subject you risk falling afoul of the Buddhist tenets as practiced in Thailand.
The art of negotiation in such a situation might include "Gosh, I would love to, dear, but we really cannot afford that right now. Maybe next month"... year... decade, etc., whatever the true case is. IMO.

[bil2054]

I think you (OP) are on thin ice on two counts. One, throwing someone's own culture up at them to win a morality argument is just never a good idea. Two, Thai Buddhism is really a combination of Theravada Buddhism and animism. It's a "folk-style" Buddhism, and I would think any outsider, even a devout Buddhist adherent. would have a tough time carrying on an intelligent conversation about Buddhism with the average Thai.

If the problem is greed, then talk about greed with the GF, not religion. If you can't do that, for sure trying to put it in religious terms isn't going to get you anywhere, nowhere you really want to be anyway.

I wish I had read all the commentary pages before sticking my oar in the water.

You covered pretty much what I had to say, Hawker.

[laislica]

@nayet, So you ran away from your thread as soon as someone posted a criticism, this shows how weak you are.

Perhaps time for you to start another troll post?

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

[Asheron]

Religious people are anti-intellectual. Just look at how many religious people do not even grasp the basic concept of evolution and ask really dumb questions like "if humans evolved from apes... why are they still around?". Sure, not directly related to "teaching/lecturing buddhism to wife/gf" but even the thought of supporting such a thing is... weird... to say the least.

Many will say Buddhism is not a religion, it doesn't believe in a god with any supreme powers and Buddhists themselves are split as to whether reincarnation is true or not.But it's certainly not anti-intellectual.

To sum it up, I would say Buddhism says there are 2 truths in this world. The ultimate truth is nothing is permanent, our new car soon rusts, our bodies fall apart, so there are no permanent entities, rather there are ongoing processes. But to make sense of the world, we personalize it, identify objects, people, in order to function in everyday life, so we have our everyday truth of 'objects and entities'

.But our pain comes from assuming these entities are permanent and becoming attached to them, whether it's our lover or a computer, but of course they're not..

Awareness of the mind is all important in Buddhism, the mind fools us because of our emotional needs, we need this or that,

I think they were just explaining the sub-conscious way before the West cottoned on.

Of course this has nothing to do with everyday Buddhists or Christians, for example if you tell your girlfriend to be less selfish she could turn round and say, ' Have you turned the other cheek today? Have you given away all your possessions?'.And if you answer you are not a Christian but a post- nihilist believer in universal human values like democracy, she could turn round and say, 'But your government supports the Saudi Royal Family, a bunch of dictators, and you eat chicken , straight from a brutal factory farm.'

Our moral values are like a sieve that a double-decker bus from London could drive through, so one should be careful if you throw the first stone.

Of course Buddhism is a religion[1][2].

And yes, it's very anti-intellectual to think that you can be born as a new "something" or even maybe get to "Nirvana" through your actions on this planet. Or that a monk mumbling inside your brand new car and painting the ceiling of that car will actually in any kind of way protect you from harm. It is utter nonsense to believe such things.

Now, i'm not saying they can't believe that... up to them. But... there is a very good reason why most scientists in the world do not have a "personal God" or the likes of "it".

You know why it is so freaking awesome to be an atheist? Because "we the atheists" have absolutely nothing to die for and absolutely everything to live for which can't be said about religious people no matter what "team" they are on. And thank non-existing non-God that i do not get my morals from any kind of archaic religious book.

[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Religion

[2] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buddhism

[wooloomooloo]

@nayet, So you ran away from your thread as soon as someone posted a criticism, this shows how weak you are.

Or he might have just given in and splashed the cash.

[jacko45k]

Stay away from her religion.

All of them demonstrate their own hypocrisy.

Edited September 1, 2015 by jacko45k

[xen]

I bought my GF/wife a comic book on the life of the Buddha in a second hand bookshop and she read it (it was in English too). She told me she had never been taught about the Four Noble Truths . These are the very basics of Buddhism as far as i understand it . But after reading it she told me a lot of Buddhism made sense but she also could see a lot of the corruption too.

[thehelmsman]

So, everyone gets up at 2 am I drive to night market, family and neighbors go off to buy food to feed the monks, about 2000 baht worth. 20 Km to back home, cooking gets started, everyone busy busy. I suggest next time we just buy a pack of M150 and some cookies. That gets me a smirk ahahaaa

OK so forward to following day MIL steps on some steel in garden requiring stitches and of course I have to ask what happened to her good luck. All the food given at the Wat and still this happens. Off to the small 7 for some red fanta so the budda house at house can be properly prepped along with the yellow flowers.

When the house was built fella comes out to fit the curtains. I leave this to the woman folk, right? So what color is choosen? Budda yellow of course.... ahahhahaa

[mogandave]

My girlfriend told me she was a Buddhist, I said "great, I love booty!"

[HooHaa]

Not if you want to enjoy peace and harmony - then NO, if you have issues deal with the issues and respect her beliefs.

The only issue I see is the hypocrisy of a greedy person professing to be a Buddhist.

the only issue i see is your need to fell superior.

if you want to spend time calling out every religious hypocrite you encounter, then you will be a very busy man with very few friends.

religion is a moral guideline, beyond ghandi, mother Theresa and very few others along the way, you are bound to be disappointed.

[Aussieroaming]

No..my wife loves her religion and I respect that

[elgenon]

Not if you want to enjoy peace and harmony - then NO, if you have issues deal with the issues and respect her beliefs.

The only issue I see is the hypocrisy of a greedy person professing to be a Buddhist.

So others, like Christians, are not hypocrites? My next door neighbors are right wing, conservative Catholics and they sure do not "love thy neighbor". Is it hypocritical to expect Thais to be any better?

By the way do you two have premarital sex? That is not allowed so maybe you should stop luring her into breaking that tenant of Teravada Buddhism. IMHO

A lesser person might think that what you chose to "get" her on is because you are cheap. But I wouldn't think that.

[Nayet]

Do you not find great irony in the fact that what you are doing is not proper Buddhist behavior?

How so? I'm not a buddhist.

[Asheron]

Not if you want to enjoy peace and harmony - then NO, if you have issues deal with the issues and respect her beliefs.

The only issue I see is the hypocrisy of a greedy person professing to be a Buddhist.

the only issue i see is your need to fell superior.

if you want to spend time calling out every religious hypocrite you encounter, then you will be a very busy man with very few friends.

religion is a moral guideline, beyond ghandi, mother Theresa and very few others along the way, you are bound to be disappointed.

Religion definitely is not a moral guideline. Atleast not a good moral guideline. Yes yes yes, Buddhism "teaches" some good (that should be the job of the parents) things but it's such utopial things that no one can actually believe they could even "achieve" half of it.

I ponder what kind of morals we "christians" (and i mean also atheist because of judeo-christian heritage) should take from the Bible. Perhaps stone your children to death for not listening to you[1]? Now, is that really a moral thing to do?

That is the schizophrenic (not just one religion but THREE religions!?) massmurdering bipolar "God" of the abrahamitic religions. Can you even imagine a more vile entity?

[1] https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Deuteronomy+21%3A18-21&version=KJV

[Nayet]

Give her the Bible (or whatever book would be associated with your birth certificate) and let her take a few extracts/ make a few digs, it's pretty easy........

No book associated with my birth certificate. I am not religious.

[bannork]

Religious people are anti-intellectual. Just look at how many religious people do not even grasp the basic concept of evolution and ask really dumb questions like "if humans evolved from apes... why are they still around?". Sure, not directly related to "teaching/lecturing buddhism to wife/gf" but even the thought of supporting such a thing is... weird... to say the least.

Many will say Buddhism is not a religion, it doesn't believe in a god with any supreme powers and Buddhists themselves are split as to whether reincarnation is true or not.But it's certainly not anti-intellectual.

To sum it up, I would say Buddhism says there are 2 truths in this world. The ultimate truth is nothing is permanent, our new car soon rusts, our bodies fall apart, so there are no permanent entities, rather there are ongoing processes. But to make sense of the world, we personalize it, identify objects, people, in order to function in everyday life, so we have our everyday truth of 'objects and entities'

.But our pain comes from assuming these entities are permanent and becoming attached to them, whether it's our lover or a computer, but of course they're not..

Awareness of the mind is all important in Buddhism, the mind fools us because of our emotional needs, we need this or that,

I think they were just explaining the sub-conscious way before the West cottoned on.

Of course this has nothing to do with everyday Buddhists or Christians, for example if you tell your girlfriend to be less selfish she could turn round and say, ' Have you turned the other cheek today? Have you given away all your possessions?'.And if you answer you are not a Christian but a post- nihilist believer in universal human values like democracy, she could turn round and say, 'But your government supports the Saudi Royal Family, a bunch of dictators, and you eat chicken , straight from a brutal factory farm.'

Our moral values are like a sieve that a double-decker bus from London could drive through, so one should be careful if you throw the first stone.

Of course Buddhism is a religion[1][2].

And yes, it's very anti-intellectual to think that you can be born as a new "something" or even maybe get to "Nirvana" through your actions on this planet. Or that a monk mumbling inside your brand new car and painting the ceiling of that car will actually in any kind of way protect you from harm. It is utter nonsense to believe such things.

Now, i'm not saying they can't believe that... up to them. But... there is a very good reason why most scientists in the world do not have a "personal God" or the likes of "it".

You know why it is so freaking awesome to be an atheist? Because "we the atheists" have absolutely nothing to die for and absolutely everything to live for which can't be said about religious people no matter what "team" they are on. And thank non-existing non-God that i do not get my morals from any kind of archaic religious book.

[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Religion

[2] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buddhism

I don't think we can readily say Buddhism is a religion

https://www.quora.com/Is-Buddhism-a-religion-or-philosop.

and let's not forget the rites that people believe in are often far removed from the tenets of a religion.Getting to nirvana can indeed be considered an intellectual effort as it requires concentration and study of how the mind operates, certainly not blind faith like some religions..

Don't be sure modern day scientists don't have a belief in 'it', many, for instance Dawkins' in The God Delusion has substituted the old belief in a deity with a very old god, the cosmos, nature with its natural and physical laws, only of course today we have much more modern equipment. He attempts to justify atheistic, scientific morality as a naturally selected tactic for passing on genes, forgetting the role random environmental and ecological factors have played in the survival of species.Up to now there's still been no success at unifying the incompatible theories of general relativity and quantum physics.

Everyone has everything to live for, it's the height of arrogance to assume an atheist has any more appreciation of life than others, and as for your morals, well they may not come from a book but they're almost certainly as full of inconsistencies and contradictions as anyone elses's are.

[Asheron]

Religious people are anti-intellectual. Just look at how many religious people do not even grasp the basic concept of evolution and ask really dumb questions like "if humans evolved from apes... why are they still around?". Sure, not directly related to "teaching/lecturing buddhism to wife/gf" but even the thought of supporting such a thing is... weird... to say the least.

Many will say Buddhism is not a religion, it doesn't believe in a god with any supreme powers and Buddhists themselves are split as to whether reincarnation is true or not.But it's certainly not anti-intellectual.

To sum it up, I would say Buddhism says there are 2 truths in this world. The ultimate truth is nothing is permanent, our new car soon rusts, our bodies fall apart, so there are no permanent entities, rather there are ongoing processes. But to make sense of the world, we personalize it, identify objects, people, in order to function in everyday life, so we have our everyday truth of 'objects and entities'

.But our pain comes from assuming these entities are permanent and becoming attached to them, whether it's our lover or a computer, but of course they're not..

Awareness of the mind is all important in Buddhism, the mind fools us because of our emotional needs, we need this or that,

I think they were just explaining the sub-conscious way before the West cottoned on.

Of course this has nothing to do with everyday Buddhists or Christians, for example if you tell your girlfriend to be less selfish she could turn round and say, ' Have you turned the other cheek today? Have you given away all your possessions?'.And if you answer you are not a Christian but a post- nihilist believer in universal human values like democracy, she could turn round and say, 'But your government supports the Saudi Royal Family, a bunch of dictators, and you eat chicken , straight from a brutal factory farm.'

Our moral values are like a sieve that a double-decker bus from London could drive through, so one should be careful if you throw the first stone.

Of course Buddhism is a religion[1][2].

And yes, it's very anti-intellectual to think that you can be born as a new "something" or even maybe get to "Nirvana" through your actions on this planet. Or that a monk mumbling inside your brand new car and painting the ceiling of that car will actually in any kind of way protect you from harm. It is utter nonsense to believe such things.

Now, i'm not saying they can't believe that... up to them. But... there is a very good reason why most scientists in the world do not have a "personal God" or the likes of "it".

You know why it is so freaking awesome to be an atheist? Because "we the atheists" have absolutely nothing to die for and absolutely everything to live for which can't be said about religious people no matter what "team" they are on. And thank non-existing non-God that i do not get my morals from any kind of archaic religious book.

[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Religion

[2] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buddhism

I don't think we can readily say Buddhism is a religion

https://www.quora.com/Is-Buddhism-a-religion-or-philosop.

and let's not forget the rites that people believe in are often far removed from the tenets of a religion.Getting to nirvana can indeed be considered an intellectual effort as it requires concentration and study of how the mind operates, certainly not blind faith like some religions..

Don't be sure modern day scientists don't have a belief in 'it', many, for instance Dawkins' in The God Delusion has substituted the old belief in a deity with a very old god, the cosmos, nature with its natural and physical laws, only of course today we have much more modern equipment. He attempts to justify atheistic, scientific morality as a naturally selected tactic for passing on genes, forgetting the role random environmental and ecological factors have played in the survival of species.Up to now there's still been no success at unifying the incompatible theories of general relativity and quantum physics.

Everyone has everything to live for, it's the height of arrogance to assume an atheist has any more appreciation of life than others, and as for your morals, well they may not come from a book but they're almost certainly as full of inconsistencies and contradictions as anyone elses's are.

I think Dawkins would be quite offended if you told him he believes in a very old God called "cosmos"... and yes, The God Delusion is a superb book. Science is the exact opposite of religion. And just to say it early, Einstein did NOT believe in a "personal God".

And just because we can't right no prove "something" doesn't make it divine... i know basicly nothing about general relativity and quantum physics but i can quess that neither of them have anything supernatural about or in them. Because i don't understand something does not make it supernatural.

Not everyone has everything to live for. Quite many, millions upon millions, are ready to die "in the name of relgiion" so they get to "heaven".

[bannork]

Dawkins is opposed to a Christian God but he's a bit late on that, Nietzsche and Schopenhaeur realized the futility of Christianity a long time ago.

But he's still hung up on there being an order, a system, he can't really accept the total randomness of life. For him nature is the creator in the form of , evolution, so what morals do we gain from this faith in evolution?

Is might right?

[StreetCowboy]

Not if you want to enjoy peace and harmony - then NO, if you have issues deal with the issues and respect her beliefs.

The only issue I see is the hypocrisy of a greedy person professing to be a Buddhist.

So why do you have a relation with a greedy hypocite?

He's probably trying to learn tolerance, placidity, and the ability to control his own prejudices

[Asheron]

Dawkins is opposed to a Christian God but he's a bit late on that, Nietzsche and Schopenhaeur realized the futility of Christianity a long time ago.

But he's still hung up on there being an order, a system, he can't really accept the total randomness of life. For him nature is the creator in the form of , evolution, so what morals do we gain from this faith in evolution?

Is might right?

There is no "faith"[1][2] in evolution, there are only facts. And with that: there is simple no "faith" in any science. Evolution is not random, it's the exact opposite.

And how can you possible even suggest that life couldn't possible exist somewhere in the entire universe?

Furthermore, Dawkins isn't opposed to the "christian God", he sees the notation of any God equally absurd.

Not entirely sure what you mean by "is might right?"...

[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Faith

[2] http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/faith

[StreetCowboy]

Does anyone here ever lecture their girlfriend about ancestor worship?