Do working girls really support their families back home?

[MonkeyLoo]

Sure they support family back home.

What would you do if you could earn X10 what you can earn per day laying on your back rather than work the farm. I know what I would choose.

Of course the parents cant lose face by telling the truth, they make up some BS. Everyone knows the truth ..............cough ...............cough

[misterphil]

Here's the answer to your examples.

Example # 1:

Mug sends money to Thai girl to give to her Thai boyfriend.

Example # 2:

Customer pays money to Thai girl to give to her Thai boyfriend.

Wake up and smell the coffee please.

[mrfaroukh]

No I don't think their family pressure them to do this kind of jobs but since pays are very low in all the jobs and their responsibilities of taking care of their kids and parents is too much they have to do it. In fact they even lie to their parents that they are working in places like Pattaya etc. Many of them say they are working in so and so office or shop in Bangkok etc.

[Jonathan Swift]

I am very good friends with a 50 year old woman who makes a modest living as a singer in Bangkok, lives in an austere 1 room apartment, she completely financed her son's college and master degree. She largely pays for her 70 year old mother's medical needs, some times the entire bill.

[SantiSuk]

When I lived in north Thailand about 6 years ago one of my Thai neighbours was a former bar girl who struck it rich and married a German banker (yes, banker). She lived in a big newly built detached house with her mother, 4 children, sister and sister's girlfriend. The mother found it difficult to change her habits to the HiSo ways of her daughter, so much so that she frequently gathered wood which she burnt in an earthwork pit to make charcoal. The big house had a superbly fitted modern kitchen, but the mother insisted on cooking outside in the traditional Thai way. As they say, you can take a person out of the jungle, but etc etc.

One thing I did find rather strange was that when the farang came for his Thai holidays, 2 of the children mysteriously disappeared, and the local vet suspended his weekly visits to inspect the cattle.

Western kitchens are entirely inappropriate for cooking pungent Asian food (unless you have very carefully designed and sectioned off cooking area with commercially powerful extraction systems). Been there done that built the western kitchen at some cost, but go out on the verandah to cook on a 2,000 baht bottle gas ring set-up!

Don't assume the 'jungle bunnies' can't adapt to western ways - all the extended family enjoy a proper bathroom and seperate power shower cubicle - no going back to squatty dunnies and plastic bins of water if there's one of those around. Aircon too - drives me wild how much they'll use those when I generally cope with a fan throughout the day

[SantiSuk]

Don't you just love people, especially foreigners, extrapolating their anecdotal, blinkered experiences. Into incontrovertible societal generalizations? Somebody lives "in the village" for awhile and is suddenly the Jacques Cousteau of rural existence.

I know what you mean, but its a poor simile - Jacques Cousteau and other TV social or wildlife commentators rarely live for several years amongst the subjects they comment on. I find the stereotypical generalisations based on individual living to result in pretty consistent commentary as between Isaan falang, so I suspect there are some representative commentaries coming out of threads like this one.

[Friendly Stranger]

Sometimes it back fires, as I once dated a Filipina and an Ethiopian that both used to send money back home. It was big of them to do so as they always had enough to send back each month. However, they both figured out that either the money was not used as it should and/or the recipients were twisting the screws to send more and the tone of graciousness turned into hostility. "why didn't you send the money last week"

It's sad really, as one had almost sent her niece through school single handedly. Now they both don't bother and they're hurt by it.

[Gecko123]

Don't you just love people, especially foreigners, extrapolating their anecdotal, blinkered experiences. Into incontrovertible societal generalizations? Somebody lives "in the village" for awhile and is suddenly the Jacques Cousteau of rural existence.

I shared what I've observed; asked what others had observed. That's not extrapolating. If you're suggesting over-generalizing is inherent to the sharing of observations, I beg to differ.

Anecdotal evidence definitely has its limitations, but you seem to be suggesting it's pointless. Every cultural anthropologist from Levi-Strauss to Margaret Mead has relied on observation and anecdote to study different cultures.

Jacques Cousteau? My village isn't flood-prone and has never been underwater. Don't own an aqualung, not even a snorkel mask.

[puukao]

My gf says her dad has bad eye, needs surgery. Mom is very sick, needs money for medicine. Sister and brother both need surgery and medical bills paid. 11 cousins, 43 uncles and 87 household animals also need about 10 million baht for everyone to be happy.

But every time i give her all my money, she shows up with a new iphone...

probably just a coincidence.

[csabo]

The answer to your questions are NUNYA

Nunya Bizness

[Nomyai]

The answer to your questions are NUNYA

Nunya Bizness

This is true but how many times has a service provider said to her cusrtomer she needed money to send back home.......................i bet this happens 1000s times a day...........................lol.

[Nomyai]

This is getting ridiculous. How are these GIRLS going to send home gobs of money if they not working. They just not showing up for work - cant blame the rain as its been non existant the past few weeks.

High season is soon starting maybe busload of issan bank tellers and office administrators, bakers, insurance saleswomans , and lawyers are on buses as i post......................hahahaha. ,

[GOLDBUGGY]

I don't believe parents from the village force there daughters to go to Bangkok or Pattaya to work as a Bar Girl. The truth is many of them have no idea what Pattaya can be like and if they did I doubt they would let their daughters go work in the bar. The greatest influence on these Village Girls is having a friend that works there and talks them into coming. Maybe just to serve tables at first. The Parents are the last ones to know the truth.

My wife's parents live in a village and they came to visit us once in Pattaya. My wife took her mother to Walking Street. To make a long story short my wife's mother was shocked to see Thai Girls walking around in such skimpy clothing like that. She could not believe it. It was a real eye opening for her for sure, but she did enjoy it and found this interesting.

Having said that Thai Parents have a lot of influence on their daughters at almost any age. I know of one very pretty Thai Girl from the village who at 18 years old got married to a Thai Man she loved. Her parents never liked him and only allowed the marriage as she was pregnant by then. The reason they did not like him was because he was not highly educated and they didn't feel he could provide a good life for his family. To them he was simply not good enough for their daughter.

After the marriage he moved in with this girls family. I met him a few times and he was a very nice guy. Willing to do anything for you to help out. A loving husband and an excellent father to his daughter. He worked hard on their farm and helped her father out for very little money. But after a year they kicked him out and soon after their daughter got a divorce. They sent her to Korea to work in a factory with a relative in hopes she will find make some decent money. But also in hopes she will find a richer man their and marry someone else.

As to sending money back home a person needs to realize that there are greedy and selfish people in every culture and nation in the world. Good Girls do if they can. Bad ones don't. A Bar Girl sending money home is looked on more fondly than a woman getting big money from a BF to sit on her butt, and gives nothing to help out. So Good Girls and Bad Girls can be defined differently then what we are used to.

Most of the Bar Girls I met in my single life, did send money home. But they also had kids to support to most times. Most that I met were also struggling to make their own living so I find it hard to believe they could send any back all the time. Or not very much at least. Many Thai Daughters also live off of the parents until they get married, and help out around the farm. Or got to work in some factory, which doesn't pay them very much.

[elliss]

This is getting ridiculous. How are these GIRLS going to send home gobs of money if they not working. They just not showing up for work -

Leally. Well all I can say is, this week , I had a few night out in Soi Sampan, Udon Thani.

There are soo many young girls early twenties , touting their bits and pieces ,

Sorry , I can not remember the name of the bar ,

Pattaya is no longer paved with Gold / many EU, foreigner, who have good heart ,no have money.

So,, these Ladies use , their take care skills locally , and they can deliver monies earned daily,, to their family/ brother.

[sinbin]

I don't believe parents from the village force there daughters to go to Bangkok or Pattaya to work as a Bar Girl. The truth is many of them have no idea what Pattaya can be like and if they did I doubt they would let their daughters go work in the bar.

Goldbuggy I can assure you you are wrong. 'Force' may be the wrong word but they won't be looked on favourably if they don't follow their parents guidance.

'Family pressure' may be a better way to put it? Young girls are raised in the villages to go work in the likes of Pattaya in the hope of bagging a farang. I've seen it.

[xylophone]

I don't believe parents from the village force there daughters to go to Bangkok or Pattaya to work as a Bar Girl. The truth is many of them have no idea what Pattaya can be like and if they did I doubt they would let their daughters go work in the bar.

Goldbuggy I can assure you you are wrong. 'Force' may be the wrong word but they won't be looked on favourably if they don't follow their parents guidance.

'Family pressure' may be a better way to put it? Young girls are raised in the villages to go work in the likes of Pattaya in the hope of bagging a farang. I've seen it.

And I can support that as I have mentioned in a previous post, the girlfriend of a bar owner friend of mine regularly got calls from the mothers in her village asking if they could send their daughter down to work in the bar and at first she was more than willing to take them on, however once girls of 16 or 17 (one of 15) started arriving, my bar owner friend put his foot down and made sure that no more came and the underage ones went home.

Just occasionally they would relax the rule and accept another girl, provided she was old enough, however the phone calls still kept coming.

[Gecko123]

I don't believe parents from the village force there daughters to go to Bangkok or Pattaya to work as a Bar Girl. The truth is many of them have no idea what Pattaya can be like and if they did I doubt they would let their daughters go work in the bar.

Goldbuggy I can assure you you are wrong. 'Force' may be the wrong word but they won't be looked on favourably if they don't follow their parents guidance.

'Family pressure' may be a better way to put it? Young girls are raised in the villages to go work in the likes of Pattaya in the hope of bagging a farang. I've seen it.

And I can support that as I have mentioned in a previous post, the girlfriend of a bar owner friend of mine regularly got calls from the mothers in her village asking if they could send their daughter down to work in the bar and at first she was more than willing to take them on, however once girls of 16 or 17 (one of 15) started arriving, my bar owner friend put his foot down and made sure that no more came and the underage ones went home.

Just occasionally they would relax the rule and accept another girl, provided she was old enough, however the phone calls still kept coming.

Goldbuggy:

I liked your post, but what you said about everyday rural Thais not knowing about what goes on in Pattaya did raise my eyebrows. The bright lights of Pattaya etc., are featured periodically in the nightly Thai news. Maybe in the past people were ignorant about what goes on there, but nowadays I'm skeptical that people are truly in the dark. But I can understand how seeing it for the first time with your own eyes could be overwhelming to the in-laws.

Sinbad:

"Raised to go to work in Pattaya?" Sinbad, you say you've seen this? Not wishing to put you or anyone else on the defensive, can you elaborate on how someone is raised or groomed to go to work in Pattaya? I also don't understand what leverage the parents can use to pressure their daughters to go to work in a bar? I mean, most of these girls come from fairly poor backgrounds. Besides, 'I brought into this world,' what leverage do parents have? Are sons equally pressured to provide for the parents?

Xylophone:

Let me say straight up that I am sure that in some cases parents do have full knowledge where their daughters are working and have few qualms about helping/encouraging their daughters to do so. I believe however that this is more the exception than the rule, and that as several other posters have said, the parents are usually the last ones to know what is going on. "Don't ask, don't tell" seems to me to be the norm. Pattaya is almost never mentioned. People talk vaguely about working in Bangkok or Chonburi.

I did want to point one thing out, though. You said that the wife of a bar owner who is a friend of yours spoke with someone by telephone who said that they were the girl's mother. That's three layers removed from the actual interaction which purportedly took place. I have read comments from posters on other threads who claim that parents force/encourage their children to work in bars. Sometimes I get the impression that parental involvement is cited in order to rationalize and legitimize participation in the sex-industry. Given that your friend owned a bar, is there any chance that he seized on the claim of parental involvement in order to rationalize the nature of his business? Appreciate your earlier posts, and am just asking, not challenging you.

Everyone else:

Does anyone else have personal experience regarding this topic?

[Gecko123]

Here's an additional point which I think undercuts the argument that parental pressure is widespread.

In my experience, most of the women who go to work in bars have dependent children from prior relationships.

If the parents hold powerful leverage over their daughters, and can steer them towards the bars in the hopes that they might reap some spillover benefit, why are these same parents seemingly so powerless to intervene and prevent their daughter's teen marriage and pregnancy(ies) which only promise to lower their daughter's future marital attractiveness and result in more hungry mouths to feed?

[xylophone]

I don't believe parents from the village force there daughters to go to Bangkok or Pattaya to work as a Bar Girl. The truth is many of them have no idea what Pattaya can be like and if they did I doubt they would let their daughters go work in the bar.

Goldbuggy I can assure you you are wrong. 'Force' may be the wrong word but they won't be looked on favourably if they don't follow their parents guidance.

'Family pressure' may be a better way to put it? Young girls are raised in the villages to go work in the likes of Pattaya in the hope of bagging a farang. I've seen it.

And I can support that as I have mentioned in a previous post, the girlfriend of a bar owner friend of mine regularly got calls from the mothers in her village asking if they could send their daughter down to work in the bar and at first she was more than willing to take them on, however once girls of 16 or 17 (one of 15) started arriving, my bar owner friend put his foot down and made sure that no more came and the underage ones went home.

Just occasionally they would relax the rule and accept another girl, provided she was old enough, however the phone calls still kept coming.

Goldbuggy:

I liked your post, but what you said about everyday rural Thais not knowing about what goes on in Pattaya did raise my eyebrows. The bright lights of Pattaya etc., are featured periodically in the nightly Thai news. Maybe in the past people were ignorant about what goes on there, but nowadays I'm skeptical that people are truly in the dark. But I can understand how seeing it for the first time with your own eyes could be overwhelming to the in-laws.

Sinbad:

"Raised to go to work in Pattaya?" Sinbad, you say you've seen this? Not wishing to put you or anyone else on the defensive, can you elaborate on how someone is raised or groomed to go to work in Pattaya? I also don't understand what leverage the parents can use to pressure their daughters to go to work in a bar? I mean, most of these girls come from fairly poor backgrounds. Besides, 'I brought into this world,' what leverage do parents have? Are sons equally pressured to provide for the parents?

Xylophone:

Let me say straight up that I am sure that in some cases parents do have full knowledge where their daughters are working and have few qualms about helping/encouraging their daughters to do so. I believe however that this is more the exception than the rule, and that as several other posters have said, the parents are usually the last ones to know what is going on. "Don't ask, don't tell" seems to me to be the norm. Pattaya is almost never mentioned. People talk vaguely about working in Bangkok or Chonburi.

I did want to point one thing out, though. You said that the wife of a bar owner who is a friend of yours spoke with someone by telephone who said that they were the girl's mother. That's three layers removed from the actual interaction which purportedly took place. I have read comments from posters on other threads who claim that parents force/encourage their children to work in bars. Sometimes I get the impression that parental involvement is cited in order to rationalize and legitimize participation in the sex-industry. Given that your friend owned a bar, is there any chance that he seized on the claim of parental involvement in order to rationalize the nature of his business? Appreciate your earlier posts, and am just asking, not challenging you.

Everyone else:

Does anyone else have personal experience regarding this topic?

Okay, I probably wasn't clear enough in a previous post or perhaps two of them, however here is the full story: –

I knew the wife of the bar owner personally and she would also tell me that she had spoken to not one, but many mothers from her village, some of whom she knew, some of whom she only knew as distant relatives/cousins (of course that can mean anything in Thailand) and this was happening over a period of years, not just once or twice, but continually, hence there was never a shortage of girls at the bar.

I did mention that some came down and only stayed a few days, whereas others really got into the "swing of things" and made it work for them. Sometimes of course, my friend's wife would tell them that there were no opportunities/jobs available and that the bar could not cope with any more girls, so none were sent obviously.

He also had to bear in mind that he provided accommodation for his girls and there were only so many girls who could fit into a small townhouse which he rented for them.

My bar owner friend certainly wasn't in the business of rationalising anything he did because in his eyes Thailand was different and "Thais would do what they do", however he did put his foot down when girls obviously too young to be working in bars were sent down by their mothers/aunties. These were not girls who had dependent children back in the village, but were sent down to work in a bar in order to earn money.

As I said, my friend was a lovely guy who would say what he meant and would never feel the need to rationalise anything. He would often say that he was expecting another two or three girls at the bar at a certain night because their mothers were sending them down on the bus, and would comment on receiving "another busload from the village" although this was always tongue in cheek.

Also important to realise that friends and relatives of the girls working in the bars would also be in touch with the bar owner's wife with regard to the potential for work for their friends and relatives, and so it went on.

So yes, some mothers did look for work in the bars for their daughters and that's just the way it was/is!

[sinbin]

Sinbad:

"Raised to go to work in Pattaya?" Sinbad, you say you've seen this? Not wishing to put you or anyone else on the defensive, can you elaborate on how someone is raised or groomed to go to work in Pattaya? I also don't understand what leverage the parents can use to pressure their daughters to go to work in a bar? I mean, most of these girls come from fairly poor backgrounds. Besides, 'I brought into this world,' what leverage do parents have? Are sons equally pressured to provide for the parents?

My cleaner openly admitted to my wife that it is her intention to to get her daughter to the likes of Pattaya ASAP. That way she cuts down the chance of the daughter getting caught by some village boy. Even if the daughter gets caught she will just leave the baby with grandma as per the Thai way. And having a child wouldn't devalue the daughter because chances are she won't declare her baby as hers. Farang is non the wiser.

'I brought you into this world,' what leverage do parents have?

Nail on the head there. You answered your own question. Obviously you've never seen a teen Thai child pay their respects to their mother on Mothers Day, have you? I'll lay money that your wife will jump for her mother before she jumps for you.

[Issangeorge]

In the 1980s and early 90s, there were ladyhouses in Thailand filled with young girls that were literally sold to the owners by their parents. The girls would get half the fee, and the ladyhouse, half the fee. The half the girl got went to pay the owner back for how much they gave the parents when this was paid back the girl was free to go, or stay and keep the money. To the best of my knowledge these places no longer exist, but who knows.

[beerzy]

O what you guys say is basically correct....

O village life sux and theres not to be made in the village

most mums and dads dont know their girls are going to work in the bar

However the life in major towns and also the accomodation is far superior to that of village life

yes they give back to the mums and dads every month so they can live.

yes they hope to get a rich farang as that is every girls dream to be well looked after not just a thai thing....same in Australia.

And some give you the opportunity to make them pregnant as they like you but its also so you will stay to look after the baby and her. BUT as men some sow there seeds and leave as its easy in Thailand were the girls outnumber the boys and there is an internet chart circulating that shows thai men have the smallest in the world...

so why dont we just close this post and get onto something better...555

cya in a bar someday!

[elliss]

Sinbad:

"Raised to go to work in Pattaya?" Sinbad, you say you've seen this?

Does anyone else have personal experience regarding this topic? {Quote ]

Yes, I have personal experience , No such thing as raised to work as prostitute in Sincity.

The vast majority of uneducated Thai girls become pregnant by young handsome thai bucks ,

who promises everything , then when baby arrives, the buck does a runner , and looks for another young female victim.

So, what are the available options , the best being to go to Pattaya , Phucket or Bangkok

to sell the only asset they have , their body ,and tell papa they work in restaurant as waiter.

,

The young Thai male , does not accept any responsibility , for his actions,

Thai culture .

[Nomyai]

The girls who make the most arent mothers. Pregnancy does horrible things to the body.....................hahahaha.

Still noone account for the politeness of many Prostitoots. How do they get to be like that.

On my recent trip to pattaya theres some very pretty girls with nice personailities. These should really be in bkk where the money is much better. I just see much barfiing in pattaya establishments.

[HooHaa]

how the hell should we know, you live in the village, do your research.

[Gecko123]

how the hell should we know, you live in the village, do your research.

Look everybody! Another annoyed poster!

[brling]

So, what are the available options , the best being to go to Pattaya , Phucket or Bangkok

to sell the only asset they have , their body ,and tell papa they work in restaurant as waiter.

,

So you think the BEST option is to be a lazy prostitute ? What about all the prostitutes that do not have kids ?

Why are they working as prostitutes ?

[Nomyai]

the role of the parents girls is being greatly downplayed here. I think its because many here married present or ex-bargirls, so they tune themselves out of what village life is like.

Prostitution is not a new thing on earth. Im sure MOSES had his dealings..............hahahaha. Moms and grannies who worked in the industry beget kids who are destined to follow in their footsteps.

I really doubt ma n pa dont know whats going on. ITS no accident girls predominately come from the village.

[IMA_FARANG]

Some do, some don't.

Depends on the girl, and how she was raised.

I do agree that it is getting less prevalent these days.....my personal opinion is due tot he corrupting influence of Western Capitalism ....but that is just my opinion.

And I do know of Thai girls working in factories in Bangkok and surroundings that go home to their upcountry families as often as they can afford with whatever money they have managed to save for their aged parents.

The point is that there is no such thing as a "standard Thai" any more than a "standard Farang expat" in Thailand.

Everyone is an individual and how they choose to live there life is up to them and their personal moral code.

One drunk boorish German does not mean all Germans are fat drunken boors..

And not all Thais are drunk, lazy, and don't support their families also

[Gecko123]

the role of the parents girls is being greatly downplayed here. I think its because many here married present or ex-bargirls, so they tune themselves out of what village life is like.

OK, Nomyai, you want to talk about how people respond to uncomfortable topics, let's talk about it.

Let's start with you, shall we? No less than 15 of the posts on this thread are from you. Not one of them were on-topic, and they chronically veered off into questions about the bar scene, despite being repeatedly asked to stop. I was left with the impression that you posted for your own amusement, with little respect for those wishing to have a more serious discussion. If I was going to give a prize for someone trying to hijack this thread it would probably go to you. You care to share with us what your motives for doing this were?

Along the same lines, six other posters' primary purpose for posting seemed to be to make comments along the lines of "why are you asking?", "it's none of your business!", "You shouldn't be asking questions like this" or, "I think your motives for asking are suspect." Many of these posters seemed to be trying to shut down or inhibit the discussion. I have to admit I was struck by the number of people who made comments like this, and I do wonder if this topic made them uncomfortable on some level.

But for the bulk of posters on this thread, my strong sense is that they have given honest feedback about what they have observed, and their comments are what made this thread interesting and successful.

Allow me to take this opportunity to thank them again for their thoughtful and informative remarks.