How to get your Thai wife back?

[epicstuff]

NO Thai woman ever kicks a farang to the curb unless she's decided he's not good financial material. Pure and simple.

Not just Thai but yes one options.

if thats the problem, Tell her you've ran out of money.. and she'll have to go to work to support you.

[Crash999]

What's needed in situations like this is a common friend who can talk with her and find out what's on her mind and then speak with you about it then get back to her.

Keep an open mind about it and be prepared to accept that she might have perceived you doing something wrong beyond just asking her why she is in a bad mood.

As for divorce in Thailand there is generally no alimony or division of assets like in the West.

[Emster23]

As the Sufis say: "now that it is gone, does it matter whether the cow ate it or not?". Move on while the moving's good.

[georgemandm]

sounds like a normal Thai woman, they are lovely- at first! No doubt it will be the OP fault, and almost certainly be money related

How true

[al007]

You are a lucky man,

You have only been married for a short while

Thailand is a land with many smiling ladies

You maybe need to move on, talk to the young lady, tell her you are unhappy with her moods,

Tell her maybe divorce now is best for you both

Tell her you wish to split amicably

See what happens

You can come out of this pretty undamaged financially

Emotionally a little hurt, but wiser

Remember you are young with a lot going for you here in Thailand

Do not join the jaundiced brigade

Move on find a new lady, do not be put off marriage for ever; but take a bit longer next time, before actually getting married

Good luck

[mikiea]

Hide your passport, marriage certificate, work permit, bank book and CCs ..... best place is at a friends house.

if your friends are " shared " quickly open a safe box at a local bank or a mail drop box and store these important docs . your shared friends will be on her side of the fence for sure .....oh yea , do not ask her to come back , she must do that on her own , after all what is in the best interest of her mother is at stake here . do not take this "personal " but what you want has never mattered ..........

[mikiea]

Cant you just ask her straight what the problem is? , can we fix it ? or you want a divorce?? Say she making you miserable and if she doesnt want to help sort out the problem you're off there plenty. of nice pretty girls out there. If you are making her unhappy it is kinder to let her go.

If you got stuff thats you've bought together and that's all that holding you back. I talk from experience here; its less stressful and cheaper in the long run to let it go.. For me it started with a stereo system I bought which made me think I don't want to walk a way from that and I cant stick it in a back pack So I tried make it work, then you accumulate more stuff it makes it harder . In the end if a relationship isn't working.... <deleted> it walk away quick. .

It will get to the point you'll walk away anyway and it hurts all the more because you could be then walking away from houses, business. cars kids and more..It'll 100 times harder to start over you'll be older. and bitter ..and a negative attitude that is not a good thing to carry around in life

she is unhappy ......." its kinder to let her go " ? dude you have watched way to many Thai soap operas . run... run as fast as your feets will move . there is not a good ending to this , just run like the wind ...........

[xtof2]

If she is already a pain at 31, just imagine how she will be at 50.

Just run and don't look back. Plenty more around

[mikiea]

You must get out of town together. Rekindle the passion in a neutral location. Find a means to communicate.

ha ha hhaaaa.... please stop.......hahaha ha haa.... ohhh stop it , I cant take it anymore hahahahaaaa .....hahahaha .... please , please stop it hurts ...........hahaha haha haha

[NoshowJones]

Getting a divorce is pretty straight forward and didn't cost me anything, apart from a return trip on the MRT, plus a couple of beers before going to municipal buidling.

Why do 'beers' have to come into such a simple post? This happens so often.

What would most guys do if suddenly there was no more alcohol available?

[NoshowJones]

You must get out of town together. Rekindle the passion in a neutral location. Find a means to communicate.

I think that in this case, the wife just wants to get out, there don't seem to be any financial advantages.

[NoshowJones]

My question is WHY would you want her back

After 6 months she leaves,

Why not start again with a new lady

Maybe the second or third time you get lucky

Just like buying a lottery ticket

Just like buying a lottery ticket? not really, do a bit of due diligence, take your time before you jump in to anything.

[NoshowJones]

Maybe she thought life would change after getting hitched. Maybe her family are putting pressure on her to get more. If thats the case you are better to let it end now. When you come up against a demanding Thai mother in law they , for the most part win everytime........unless you pay.

This is probably the most likely of the answers given. She was probably happy to get married to someone she loved/fancied, whatever, but the MIL has most likely been piling on the pressure on the phone and in person. She got married and there has been nothing in it for the MIL thus far...

But so and so married a farang and he built a big house

But so and so married a farang and he gives her daughter xxxx a month

But so and so married a farang and he gave her 3MB sin sod

The MIL is probably making her feel like she has let the family face down and is not providing for her as a daughter should.

Most Thai women are happy if they are far enough away from their mothers.

'Most Thai women are happy if they are far enough away from their mothers'. I agree with your post, though I'm not so sure about your last sentence.

[SOTIRIOS]

....'It' never 'was'....

....see what you can recoup as quickly as possible and move on....

...and do not believe a word she says....

...get real facts from non-Thais...

...good luck...

[likeke]

You are very young to have this kind of a problem. Life is too short. No kids or roots. I would cut bait and move on.She will continue to bring you down. She either has psyche issues or wants out of the relationship, or both. Divorces are easy in Thailand especially in your case. Don't give her money or get her pregnant. Remove all your valuables and protect what you have. Either move to a new area in Thailand or back to your home country and start your life anew. You will be fine.

[HerbalEd]

If you and your wife are unhappy together and the same problems keep coming up over and over, then I say get out of the relationship. Also, the great thing about Thailand is that there are many, many, many more fish in the sea.

[silent]

Given your circumstances of no children or property I would up sticks and leave if she as an adult like most Thai woman is unable to talk about the issues that are making her feel this way what else is there to do.

I've had similar issues with my GF of 6 years,but have a daughter,we have reconciled in the past and all is well until the next time.

The thing with a lot of Thai women is the fact that they don't like conflict and I mean conflict by way of discussion as in a pro active approach to discussing any problems they may be hiding,wether that be pressure from extended family or other issues they may have its always a real chore to get to the heart of the issue.

I'm no marriage counsellor and only speak from personnel experience,I've had the 7 day silent treatment,the 7 day stint at the sisters 400 kms away,getting out of the car at traffic lights 100 kms from home,all brought on by petty squabbles.

I keep quiet now,don't get angered and avoid any shouting matches,the repeated shouts of this is Thailand,this is how we do it are ingrained in my memory for ever,I've adopted the Mai Pen Rai attitude and now things seem to tick along.

Wow. Apparently an Incredibly common personality disorder. It's good knowing that I'm not alone, and just as I thought in the beginning there's not so much wrong with me as the senile delinquent that I'm trying to get along with.

[Fabricus]

here we go again yet another disaster she obviously she doesn't like you, just cos she married you, means nothing I could go out today and by the time I got home in the evening I could find a dozen Thai women who would marry me. its a win win for them they don't care.

This is a very good post.

You really could go out today and find at least ten Thai women who'd happily marry you.

With very few exceptions, marriages between Farangs and Thai women mean nothing.

Love in Thailand is almost always a one-way street. And it's almost always the Farang that loses.

OP -- cut your losses. She's just not into you.

Learn to be single. Enjoy being single. You'll be happier and you'll have a lot more money.

[BORRISGOODENUF]

Sorry to hear of your misfortune, sounds to me like you made the big mistake of "falling in love". Answer to your question is Yes, there is a way to get your wife back, it's called "MONEY"!.

Your wife, more than likely is being pressured by her Dear Mother. Dear Mothers love money from their "beloved Daughters"!.

[BORRISGOODENUF]

Sorry to hear of your misfortune, sounds to me like you made the big mistake of "falling in love". Answer to your question is Yes, there is a way to get your wife back, it's called "MONEY"!.

Your wife, more than likely is being pressured by her Dear Mother. Dear Mothers love money from their "beloved Daughters"!.

[cape]

There is a great deal of responsibility and base motivation loaded onto the Thai girl in these columns. I wonder sometimes if it is all as simple as that.

BuThe it is true that if after a few tries you don't succeed, then don't try anymore, take another path. There are plenty.

[xylophone]

Quote: “Cant you just ask her straight what the problem is, can we fix it?"

Quote: “What's needed in situations like this is a common friend who can talk with her and find out what's on her mind and then speak with you about it then get back to her”.

Quote: “The thing with a lot of Thai women is the fact that they don't like conflict and I mean conflict by way of discussion as in a pro active approach to discussing any problems they may be hiding, whether that be pressure from extended family or other issues they may have its always a real chore to get to the heart of the issue”.

Reading this thread and some of the quotes above have certainly bought back some memories for me in regards to my relationship with a lovely Thai lady (with whom I am still in contact and support financially).

We lived together full-time for about three years, perhaps a little more, and there would be occasional silences to which I wouldn't pay much attention because I thought she couldn't be unhappy as I had bought a house for us, supported her sick mother (yes she really was sick as I travelled up to see her however unfortunately she later died), bought her her own motorbike and there was nothing she wanted for and even if she did, she only had to ask. In addition we had a romantic relationship and I was always trying to ensure that I didn't encroach upon her "space", indeed she had her young daughter come to live with us and we were to all intents and purposes a happy family, with me often finding little notes around the place saying that she loved her "new family".

Most of the time she was very happy and then the silences started, some for just a few days, and others for a week, and then finally one for two weeks. It would be an understatement if I said that these silences annoyed me immensely, probably better to say that they infuriated me, and as often as not I would try to get to the bottom of what the problem was but there would be no answer, so after a while I stopped trying to find out what the problem was.

However on the penultimate occasion when I had been subjected to a week's silence, I told her that the next time it happened, she would be gone.........I would leave her and sell the house and everything would be over. Sure enough some months down the track, I got the two weeks of silent treatment and during this time she had gone up north to her village because of a death and the need to celebrate the 100 day "thing".

I tried phoning and leaving messages to make sure she was okay, but to no avail, so when she returned home I told her that I had put the house on the market, had a buyer for it and that it was all over between us. Not only was I devastated because it was a painful experience, but she was as well, sobbing uncontrollably for days on end and making me feel like I was the bad guy, however I had decided to see this through and I did.

My point is that no matter how hard I tried to get to the bottom of the problem; no matter how many times I explained to her that it infuriated me; no matter how many times I explained to her that I couldn't live like this and that everything would be over if it continued, she still did it.

I asked a few friends for advice as to what to do and strangely enough they all said that this "silent treatment" was something that they had all experienced with their Thai girlfriends and wives and it seemed to be fairly endemic and there was nothing they could do to solve the problem.

I came to the conclusion it was just part of many Thai ladies mental make up, however I didn't want to live like this, not knowing what was going on and being subjected to long silences which I didn't understand and which she wouldn't/couldn't explain to me, so as I said, I finished it.

Is there a happy ending to this? (and I don't mean the sort obtained in a massage parlour)..............Well I gave her a lump sum of money because I still cared for her and her daughter and I helped her buy a laundry business and set it up to be very profitable. I also helped to sell it when she became disenchanted with it although it was making good money.

She now lives with her daughter a few kilometres away and I provide them with a monthly amount to live on and also pay for her daughter's school fees etc and I am in constant contact via telephone and arrange to meet up with them a few times a month to take them to lunch and go on shopping expeditions, which I enjoy.

I don't think she is entirely happy with the current situation, however I am happy with mine, inasmuch as I am a free single man, living in rented accommodation, without any ties to this country and I don't have any situations where "emotional blackmail" is used against me.

I am so happy that I went ahead with the separation because there were times when I thought about backing out, however I am happy being single man now, but I suppose what amazes me the most is that despite the fact that she knew what would happen if the silences continued, she still did it, and I am reminded of the old saying about the scorpion and the frog, whereby the scorpion hitches a ride on the back of the frog to get across the river, but the frog is reluctant and is afraid that the scorpion will sting it and kill it, but the scorpion reassures the frog that this would be a stupid idea because they would both die. Then halfway across the river the scorpion stings the frog and just as the frog is dying it turns to the scorpion and asks why he did such a stupid thing, and the scorpion replies, "I can't help it, it's in my nature"............... same same with some Thai women I think.

[realenglish1]

Thai woman love Drama I Think some of it comes from Channel 7 Thai Dramas They see it so they do it Like monkey see monkey do I have been with mine for 8 years and there is no way she will talk about what is bothering her unless I have a team of wild horses and it is so painful

So I have learned just to ignore her until it passes She is so screwed up with emotions from her family and Thai society that I feel sorry for her some times

Most Thais do not know how to talk about feelings This is normal for them SO SAD

[EJK]

Play the game love and caring

BUT SECURITY FIRST>>>>>>> Remove passports certificates ATM cards and personal papers immediately

Good Luck

NEXT

[jpb1963]

Get a new one and stay away from balconies.

that is gold

[EJK]

Forget these bar type sluts there rats and always will be... Cant cook clean or care... have no respect for you or thereselves... care only about there greed and are happy to get disease along the way

Thats your answer and any normal girl will stick it out... If your girl is a good woman she will tell you truth.. if she is vague, she is a wehore let the &lt;deleted&gt; go

[jpb1963]

This is not a falang/Thai situation. This is pure Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.

I got married at (oh dear yes) 23 to my English wife. BEFORE marriage she was meek as a lamb. AFTER marriage she was like a raging tiger.

Short advice: RUN.

my wife weighed 50kg, was a nympho, loved everything that I did (water skiing, motor bike riding, camping, my friends, my family) 8 years later got married, within 4 years nothing was good enough, within 7 years I no longer had my mates, my family stopped talking with me, the Malibu was gone, the ducati was gone, hadn't been camping in 3 years) but hey I was still working 12hrs a day 28 days straight, she happy when I was at work

F that sh...

got my mates back, got my family back, got some bikes in the shed, got a GF that adores me, I still work but dam I am happy when I am off work

life is too short brother, you really begin to realise that when you get a bit older

[flyingsaucersarereal]

Quote: “Cant you just ask her straight what the problem is, can we fix it?"

Quote: “What's needed in situations like this is a common friend who can talk with her and find out what's on her mind and then speak with you about it then get back to her”.

Quote: “The thing with a lot of Thai women is the fact that they don't like conflict and I mean conflict by way of discussion as in a pro active approach to discussing any problems they may be hiding, whether that be pressure from extended family or other issues they may have its always a real chore to get to the heart of the issue”.

Reading this thread and some of the quotes above have certainly bought back some memories for me in regards to my relationship with a lovely Thai lady (with whom I am still in contact and support financially).

We lived together full-time for about three years, perhaps a little more, and there would be occasional silences to which I wouldn't pay much attention because I thought she couldn't be unhappy as I had bought a house for us, supported her sick mother (yes she really was sick as I travelled up to see her however unfortunately she later died), bought her her own motorbike and there was nothing she wanted for and even if she did, she only had to ask. In addition we had a romantic relationship and I was always trying to ensure that I didn't encroach upon her "space", indeed she had her young daughter come to live with us and we were to all intents and purposes a happy family, with me often finding little notes around the place saying that she loved her "new family".

Most of the time she was very happy and then the silences started, some for just a few days, and others for a week, and then finally one for two weeks. It would be an understatement if I said that these silences annoyed me immensely, probably better to say that they infuriated me, and as often as not I would try to get to the bottom of what the problem was but there would be no answer, so after a while I stopped trying to find out what the problem was.

However on the penultimate occasion when I had been subjected to a week's silence, I told her that the next time it happened, she would be gone.........I would leave her and sell the house and everything would be over. Sure enough some months down the track, I got the two weeks of silent treatment and during this time she had gone up north to her village because of a death and the need to celebrate the 100 day "thing".

I tried phoning and leaving messages to make sure she was okay, but to no avail, so when she returned home I told her that I had put the house on the market, had a buyer for it and that it was all over between us. Not only was I devastated because it was a painful experience, but she was as well, sobbing uncontrollably for days on end and making me feel like I was the bad guy, however I had decided to see this through and I did.

My point is that no matter how hard I tried to get to the bottom of the problem; no matter how many times I explained to her that it infuriated me; no matter how many times I explained to her that I couldn't live like this and that everything would be over if it continued, she still did it.

I asked a few friends for advice as to what to do and strangely enough they all said that this "silent treatment" was something that they had all experienced with their Thai girlfriends and wives and it seemed to be fairly endemic and there was nothing they could do to solve the problem.

I came to the conclusion it was just part of many Thai ladies mental make up, however I didn't want to live like this, not knowing what was going on and being subjected to long silences which I didn't understand and which she wouldn't/couldn't explain to me, so as I said, I finished it.

Is there a happy ending to this? (and I don't mean the sort obtained in a massage parlour)..............Well I gave her a lump sum of money because I still cared for her and her daughter and I helped her buy a laundry business and set it up to be very profitable. I also helped to sell it when she became disenchanted with it although it was making good money.

She now lives with her daughter a few kilometres away and I provide them with a monthly amount to live on and also pay for her daughter's school fees etc and I am in constant contact via telephone and arrange to meet up with them a few times a month to take them to lunch and go on shopping expeditions, which I enjoy.

I don't think she is entirely happy with the current situation, however I am happy with mine, inasmuch as I am a free single man, living in rented accommodation, without any ties to this country and I don't have any situations where "emotional blackmail" is used against me.

I am so happy that I went ahead with the separation because there were times when I thought about backing out, however I am happy being single man now, but I suppose what amazes me the most is that despite the fact that she knew what would happen if the silences continued, she still did it, and I am reminded of the old saying about the scorpion and the frog, whereby the scorpion hitches a ride on the back of the frog to get across the river, but the frog is reluctant and is afraid that the scorpion will sting it and kill it, but the scorpion reassures the frog that this would be a stupid idea because they would both die. Then halfway across the river the scorpion stings the frog and just as the frog is dying it turns to the scorpion and asks why he did such a stupid thing, and the scorpion replies, "I can't help it, it's in my nature"............... same same with some Thai women I think.

Nice comment thanks!

[xylophone]

Forget these bar type sluts there rats and always will be... Cant cook clean or care... have no respect for you or thereselves... care only about there greed and are happy to get disease along the way

Thats your answer and any normal girl will stick it out... If your girl is a good woman she will tell you truth.. if she is vague, she is a wehore let the <deleted> go

That has to be one of the dumbest posts/comments I've ever seen on here, or anywhere for that matter.

[steven100]

xylophone

I gave up reading the rest after the first two lines ............ ever thought about writing a book