Concerned about girlfriend / siezures

[Kenny202]

Maybe a question for Sheryl.....

Been with my girlfriend 4 years. The last year she has displayed horrible temper explosions. Any form of discussion or trying to process ideas usually leads to a total loss of control....screaming can last for 5 minutes, kicking...very hard to calm her down again. Don't get me wrong...Im not always a day at the beach and don't easily let stuff go but I'm never argumentative but within 5 minutes of any discussion she just goes up and up and up, then bomb. If Im quiet or ignore it she provokes me. Anyway, that in itself isn't the issue. I have heard many stories of Thai girls with explosive tempers. She has very limited brain function. She just has an inability to think anything through in a normal process without getting a headache.

The last few weeks she has had 2 what I'd call seizures. Frothing at the mouth (uncontrollably), eyes rolling back.....body rigid and jerking. If I don't hold her she would be banging her head on the ground. I literally need to gently slap her out of it and can take 30 minutes to calm her down. No screaming or angry mouth or anything,,,,just this huff huffing and froth coming out. Its terrifying. Afterwards she doesn't want to talk about it and acts like nothing has happened. She refuses to see a doctor about it hence trying to get some idea of what might be wrong here. She says she hasn't had them before but her acting like its no big deal suggests to me she has had it happen before.

She tells me she's conscious during the episodes and remembers what Ive said to her and whats happening but she can't control her body. We are going through an extremely stressful time at the moment and the episodes normally follow a row.

Any advice appreciated

Edited December 2, 2015 by Kenny202

[rodknock]

doctor!!

[hrjay]

Not to be cruel but what about you? You must be going through hell. This sounds urgent for her, but it's kinda like what they tell you on the plane: "In case of loss of cabin pressure put your own oxygen mask on first before you assist your kids or wife please." They do that for a really good reason. I would suggest you get help for yourself immediately. At last count, there are less than 500 clinical psychologists in this country of 68 million people, and most are in Bangkok. Given your girlfriend's medical problems why don't you start searching really hard for one of those 500 and ask a trained person how to help her, while getting help for yourself. I would go with the M.D. Psychiatrist vs. a Phd. Psychologist or Family Therapist, given your girlfriend's medical conditions, but any of them would likely give better advice than friends, family or TV participants.

[Kenny202]

Not to be cruel but what about you? You must be going through hell. This sounds urgent for her, but it's kinda like what they tell you on the plane: "In case of loss of cabin pressure put your own oxygen mask on first before you assist your kids or wife please." They do that for a really good reason. I would suggest you get help for yourself immediately. At last count, there are less than 500 clinical psychologists in this country of 68 million people, and most are in Bangkok. Given your girlfriend's medical problems why don't you start searching really hard for one of those 500 and ask a trained person how to help her, while getting help for yourself. I would go with the M.D. Psychiatrist vs. a Phd. Psychologist or Family Therapist, given your girlfriend's medical conditions, but any of them would likely give better advice than friends, family or TV participants.

No it has been hell to say the least. Heaven and hell. She lived with me in Australia for a year and never saw anything like this which suggests to me she can control herself if she wants to. Worst thing is I came here to live in her house with her and having all my stuff in her home has been a major concern. I have more than I can just throw in the pick up and drive away and getting a truck here...i can just picture the ugly scene in the street now. I can't go out and take a breather either..."u want find new lady". Really not sure what's she's capable of if I just walked out and left my stuff here. Shell scream and tell me to go. Then shell be screaming at me to stay and not let me go. Yeah man up i hear u thinking. Im a big guy and no shrinking violet. She gives me the impression she would like nothing more than for me to hit her. I can be quiet as a mouse and shes pushing and shoving. This is no ordinary headcase. Completely unpredictable and irrational. Its sad as the person she ultimately hurts is herself. Shes had quite a life of turmoil but from what i can see self inflicted.I have taken the first step though. I've found a place to rent in another town. She's coming too but the place is in my name and I'll have control. I really am at the end of my tether. Edited December 2, 2015 by Kenny202

[MaeJoMTB]

How I ran from the last nutjob I lived with ........

Wait for her to visit her parents, or take a trip with her friends.

Make sure you have an excuse not to go.

Move to another town the moment she leaves.

Change your phone number.

PS

This is entirely normal behavior for about 50% of Thai ladies.

2 out of 3 of mine were like this.

Edited December 2, 2015 by MaeJoMTB

[h90]

How I ran from the last nutjob I lived with ........

Wait for her to visit her parents, or take a trip with her friends.

Make sure you have an excuse not to go.

Move to another town the moment she leaves.

Change your phone number.

PS

This is entirely normal behavior for about 50% of Thai ladies.

2 out of 3 of mine were like this.

Did you read that part: "Frothing at the mouth (uncontrollably), eyes rolling back.....body rigid and jerking. If I don't hold her she would be banging her head on the ground. I literally need to gently slap her out of it and can take 30 minutes to calm her down. No screaming or angry mouth or anything"

That is not normal crazy Thai girl. That is some serious malfunction.

[bino]

Get her to a doctor as soon as possible.

Have a quiet word with them, and ask them to include a drugs test in the examination. There is another board member here who had an episode like this with his wife a few years ago, and he tried everything to help her. In the end he found out that she had developed a massive drug habit and addiction.

I don't know you, your wife, or your circumstances... but "just sayin'". It would be good to rule out everything that you can in your efforts to help her.

[NickJ]

Well......Do the episodes ever just happen ?during normal activities. Or they brought on by emotional distress.....Anyways she needs to see a Dr......

[curtklay]

How I ran from the last nutjob I lived with ........

Wait for her to visit her parents, or take a trip with her friends.

Make sure you have an excuse not to go.

Move to another town the moment she leaves.

Change your phone number.

PS

This is entirely normal behavior for about 50% of Thai ladies.

2 out of 3 of mine were like this.

Your usual compassion and understanding is truly overwhelming.

[Kenny202]

How I ran from the last nutjob I lived with ........

Wait for her to visit her parents, or take a trip with her friends.

Make sure you have an excuse not to go.

Move to another town the moment she leaves.

Change your phone number.

PS

This is entirely normal behavior for about 50% of Thai ladies.

2 out of 3 of mine were like this.

That's 66% big feller :-)

[Kenny202]

Well......Do the episodes ever just happen ?during normal activities. Or they brought on by emotional distress.....Anyways she needs to see a Dr......

it's always emotional distress but unfortunately she brings that on herself too. She was talking about selling her house yesterday for 690 k thb. It's a small house on non chanote land in an awful lo so area middle of no where. Then she was worrying about if it sold too quickly means the price was too low. I told her I thought she'd be lucky if someone would pay that for it (only those words). From that she told me she surmised I was going to push her to sell it for 300 Or 400k. So then I try and clarify what I meant which frustrates her more and on it goes. It's like the information goes in her ears but the brain hears something 100% opposite. Wed had a great day and was like she was trying to find a way to ruin it. She was driving yesterday and I asked her to go straight through the lights. She looked at me and said "turn left"? Happens all the time. I was quiet this morning after a horrible night. She woke up apologetic and only wanting to see my smile come back. She'll change etc. Tonight she saw me posting on Thai visa (hardly ever on the computer) and she's convinced I "chat with friend" (other lady) now sullen and moody again. Edited December 2, 2015 by Kenny202

[Kenny202]

How I ran from the last nutjob I lived with ........

Wait for her to visit her parents, or take a trip with her friends.

Make sure you have an excuse not to go.

Move to another town the moment she leaves.

Change your phone number.

PS

This is entirely normal behavior for about 50% of Thai ladies.

2 out of 3 of mine were like this.

Did you read that part: "Frothing at the mouth (uncontrollably), eyes rolling back.....body rigid and jerking. If I don't hold her she would be banging her head on the ground. I literally need to gently slap her out of it and can take 30 minutes to calm her down. No screaming or angry mouth or anything"

That is not normal crazy Thai girl. That is some serious malfunction.

yeah all jokes aside. Her anger issues are something entirely different to the fits.

[Kenny202]

How I ran from the last nutjob I lived with ........

Wait for her to visit her parents, or take a trip with her friends.

Make sure you have an excuse not to go.

Move to another town the moment she leaves.

Change your phone number.

PS

This is entirely normal behavior for about 50% of Thai ladies.

2 out of 3 of mine were like this.

Your usual compassion and understanding is truly overwhelming.

But he's always funny...and usually on the money even if politically incorrect :-)

[scorecard]

Well......Do the episodes ever just happen ?during normal activities. Or they brought on by emotional distress.....Anyways she needs to see a Dr......

I would also ask:

- Are you calm and logical all the time?

- Do you enjoy baiting people / deliberately enjoy stirring people? Plenty of folks are like this, from all countries.

- Do you deliberately play mind games with her, all aimed at just upsetting her? Plenty of folks do this, from every country.

- Do you feel you have some right to act superior?

- Why would anybody assume that a large% of Thai women are unbalanced, irrational, etc? They are no different to women / men in any country in the world.

- If there really is a serious psychiatric problem then get professional help and fast. And don't be too quick to take advice from TV members.

[Kenny202]

Well......Do the episodes ever just happen ?during normal activities. Or they brought on by emotional distress.....Anyways she needs to see a Dr......

I would also ask:

- Are you calm and logical all the time?

- Do you enjoy baiting people / deliberately enjoy stirring people? Plenty of folks are like this, from all countries.

- Do you deliberately play mind games with her, all aimed at just upsetting her? Plenty of folks do this, from every country.

- Do you feel you have some right to act superior?

- Why would anybody assume that a large% of Thai women are unbalanced, irrational, etc? They are no different to women / men in any country in the world.

- If there really is a serious psychiatric problem then get professional help and fast. And don't be too quick to take advice from TV members.

Yes and no to all. I'm not perfect but I believe I treat her extremely decently. My first thought of everyday is her happiness. Mainly because if she's happy maybe I can be. I've told this story before but another example. I bought a little dog. Asked her if she was ok with it (10 times). No problem. I built a new patio, fenced it etc as well as the extension on her house she wanted. Win win. Had the dog home first day she was ok. 2nd day she sat out the front of our house, fan blowing the opposite way refusing to come inside saying "can't live in zoo". This went on for 3 days. The dog is a little French Bulldog. Sweet as and zero smell. Dog outside on back patio....2 rooms between there and the lounge room. It was after 3 days I realized it wasn't the smell. She was jealous. It was horrible. Big fights...her refusing to budge one inch. This after me selling everything I owned, a divorce, quit my corporate job to come and live with her. 4th day I cudnt take it anymore. Looking at a 12 hour round trip to take the dog back to Surin. Half an hour in the car the messages start. What u do. Where u go. " Taking the dog back". You want find new lady Surin...up up up....i turned around and came home. The poor dog is still here and I feel uncomfortable going anywhere near it. Turn around there's always a scowl on her face. That's a true story. I think it's the only thing I ever asked her for...some consideration Edited December 2, 2015 by Kenny202

[Kenny202]

Get her to a doctor as soon as possible.

Have a quiet word with them, and ask them to include a drugs test in the examination. There is another board member here who had an episode like this with his wife a few years ago, and he tried everything to help her. In the end he found out that she had developed a massive drug habit and addiction.

I don't know you, your wife, or your circumstances... but "just sayin'". It would be good to rule out everything that you can in your efforts to help her.

thought has crossed my mind but I really don't see how she could conceal it this long. Anythings possible. She was popping over the counter sleeping pills like candy (strong ones too) when I met her.

[DogNo1]

Sounds like epilepsy, OP. A woman friend in Japan had emotional problems, though not as severe as the behavior that you describe. After years of consultations with specialists and psychiatrists, one doctor finally nailed it and prescribed the appropriate medication. She's much better now with almost no symptoms. Good luck in getting the correct diagnosis and medicine for your girlfriend. You must really wantt to help her having stayed with her for this long.

[NickJ]

Poor dog. ..........I thought about writing more. But when I was in a very similar boat for over a decade I didnt listen to anyone. You know what you need to do. If you dont, well like I said......over a decade for me.

[MobileContent]

This after me selling everything I owned, a divorce, quit my corporate job to come and live with her.

Run and get rid of her - You have done anything possible and surely thought she was a fine woman also you must have been blinded.

As someone suggested already in this posts, let her visit the family (New Year is coming) and tell her you might want to marry her next year. When she is off to meet her parents pack-up and get out of Surin province.

Could it be that your financials are all gone?

[JHolmesJr]

Yea epilepsy is where my mind went too....or just bipolar.....or just plain ol' nasty.

There can be no joy in living with someone like that 24/7....heck, ive turned thai women out for a fraction of that. Dont live on my dime and give me attitude.

[jimmybkk]

Regarding the seizures/fits - definitely sounds like she needs to go see a doctor. I had a dog that had a problem with low blood sugar levels and when his blood sugar would drop very low he would have fits similar to the ones you described.

Regarding your gf's behaviour, you need to realize that you are empowering her unacceptable behaviour with the way you react to it. If your dog began chewing the furniture every time you left the house and the sound of the dog chewing the furniture caused you to do a u-turn and come back inside, even your dog would start to realize that: Chew the furniture, you don't get left alone... Chew the furniture, you don't get left alone... As it stands now you are rewarding your gf's childish and unacceptable behaviour, so why would she stop?

You need to have a long hard think about whether you really want to be with this lady for the long term, and if you do, unless you want to spend the rest of your life being treated like a doormat you need to start drawing some lines in the sand. If you go somewhere let her know that if she starts bombarding you with messages and phone calls your phone's getting turned off, and if she does start that nonsense when you're apart then you have to be prepared to turn your phone off and accept that you'll most likely be having a row when you get home. She needs to learn that there are consequences to her actions.

Right now she is pushing the boundaries, and you are allowing her to feel confident that no matter what she does, no matter how childishly and selfishly she behaves, you'll always be there for her... Maybe she even says to you in those lovey-dovey moments, or after you've just had a row: "You'll never leave me will you sweetheart...?" with big, tearful eyes... and you being the big softie (no offence - we all are...) can't help but be the hunter/gatherer/protector and say: "Of course not baby...". Well, that has to stop. If she says that you're reply needs to be: "Of course not baby... provided you don't start acting all crazy and stuff..." As she then puts her game face on in preparation for another row, before she can start regurgitating all that sh!t about you having another woman, you calmly explain that if she was to get all crazy and.... I dunno.... start sticking pins in you every night when you went to sleep... or put cockroaches into your sandwiches... then of course you wouldn't stay with her... A person would only do nasty stuff like that to someone they didn't love, right...? And why would anyone want to stay with someone that didn't love them...?

If you don't take a stand now and start to do some posturing of your own, here's what happens next:

She will begin chipping away at your self esteem. A few snide comments here and there... choosing to take anyone's advice about something over your advice... e.g. your car won't start - you take a look under the hood and find a loose battery cable. She will choose to ignore your diagnosis and then later the same day will tell you that the neighbour's 15 yr-old kid had a look at the car and the problem is that a battery cable has come loose...

She will automatically refute anything and everything you say - you say it's a beautiful morning, she will say it's probably going to rain later. You say that the guy at 7-11 seems like a nice chap, she will say he has the eyes of a serial killer... you say it's black, she will say it's white... She's prepared to have an argument about what colour it is, whereas you are not...

You will be invited to make suggestions, which will instantly be ridiculed and a far superior counter-suggestion will be presented... Where shall we go for dinner? How about Fuji...? Fuji??? Why would we go to Fuji??? You know that last time we went to Fuji my glass of water had too many ice cubes...

From here it is a very short journey to a state where you decide that offering any kind of a suggestion is futile... better to take the path of least resistance... Where shall we go for dinner...? Well, where would you like to go my love...? Which route shall we take to Big C? Why don't you decide the route my love... And there you have it... the mustang accepts the saddle, and gets a sugar cube for doing so.

Now, maybe some guys are quite happy with being in that position... no need to make any decisions... never get chastised for making a wrong decision... a bit like guys who go to prison and can't handle the freedom (and responsibilities) they face when they are released. I can kinda see the appeal of that and If that's you then just carry on the way things are and you'll get there in no time. If not though, you need to take a stand now.

If you decide that this one is not the one for you, then the suggestion of a previous poster about disappearing when she goes away for a few days is probably the best way to go about it, but if your sense of chivalry and honour would not allow for such a dastardly exit, then whether you choose to leave a note or deal with it face to face, you have to tell her that you have decided to get back together with your ex-wife. There is one universal trait of the female psyche, and that is that they all respect the fact that "She was here first...".

Good luck with it all whatever you decide mate, and i hope you get to the bottom of what's causing your gf's seizures/fits.

[nottocus]

Doctor first, exorcist 2nd.

[Kenny202]

Sounds like epilepsy, OP. A woman friend in Japan had emotional problems, though not as severe as the behavior that you describe. After years of consultations with specialists and psychiatrists, one doctor finally nailed it and prescribed the appropriate medication. She's much better now with almost no symptoms. Good luck in getting the correct diagnosis and medicine for your girlfriend. You must really wantt to help her having stayed with her for this long.

That's what I was thinking. I don't know much about it but I have seen epileptic fits. I did think with epilepsy though the person doesn't remember the incident. Her Auntie was epileptic. Actually had a seizure and fell in the cooking fire and burned to death

[Kenny202]

Sounds like epilepsy, OP. A woman friend in Japan had emotional problems, though not as severe as the behavior that you describe. After years of consultations with specialists and psychiatrists, one doctor finally nailed it and prescribed the appropriate medication. She's much better now with almost no symptoms. Good luck in getting the correct diagnosis and medicine for your girlfriend. You must really wantt to help her having stayed with her for this long.

Well I did love her. After a recent incident just not sure of my feelings anymore. My focus is get my stuff out of here. Sadly what I've written are the nicer issues. In total it's a horror story. I mean a really bad one. I am not destitute and I haven't dropped a truckload on her home, maybe $20k . Put a lot of work and love into her home though, made it perfect. Shudve gone 6 months ago but I guess I knew if we left it wud be the end, and it will be. I heard someone say that on here once. Blokes get in too deep and then can't leave. Well I'm not in too deep financially but I made a huge emotional and life change investment. But probably time to let go and move on

[simon43]

This is entirely normal behavior for about 50% of Thai ladies.

You are being very generous in your estimation. The country seems full of nut-case women, especially infantile and dangerous nut-jobs.

The bottom line is that you should look after #1 first, in terms of your own mental well-being and physical safety. Remove yourself from this scenario, then advise your GF by email/SMS to seek medical help. It is up to her if she wants to do this.

[meatboy]

how much more can you take,for your sake leave,or you might end up with a knife in your back.

but IF YOU WANT TO HELP HER you have to seek profesional help,as this is thailand WHERE.

in my time [30yrs] i have seen plenty of what they call bah sard women [crazy] the wife say's they think tooooooooooo much.

you have GOT TO LEAVE as soon as you get the chance,but tell no one,get someone to go and see her family and see what they can find out.

GOOD LUCK.

[1FinickyOne]

How I ran from the last nutjob I lived with ........

Wait for her to visit her parents, or take a trip with her friends.

Make sure you have an excuse not to go.

Move to another town the moment she leaves.

Change your phone number.

PS

This is entirely normal behavior for about 50% of Thai ladies.

2 out of 3 of mine were like this.

This is not by any means normal behavior. Though the ultimate advice might be correct. If she has a caring family, you should get them involved.

She is having seizures likely brought on by the stress of the "conversations" that you have. Obviously your fights are not doing either of you any good. She definitely needs medical attention and probably doesn't need the catalyst that brings on these attacks.

Good luck. I hope you gt her the help she needs.

[Briggsy]

"pushing", "shoving", "kicking", "need to hold [restrain] her" "slap her out of it".

Violence is seeping in. It will only escalate. You must have a strategy to deal with violence in a relationship in the short-term and the long-term. I will not tolerate any violence in a relationship. Others consider it part of the normal emotional rollercoaster. I don't. It gets out of hand. Nip it in the bud or leave.

The "fit" is probably an act. Ever seen a spoilt child have a massive temper tantrum? They are not hard to fake.

[meatboy]

"pushing", "shoving", "kicking", "need to hold [restrain] her" "slap her out of it".

Violence is seeping in. It will only escalate. You must have a strategy to deal with violence in a relationship in the short-term and the long-term. I will not tolerate any violence in a relationship. Others consider it part of the normal emotional rollercoaster. I don't. It gets out of hand. Nip it in the bud or leave.

The "fit" is probably an act. Ever seen a spoilt child have a massive temper tantrum? They are not hard to fake.

i think he's left,hope she dont read thai visa forum.

or has he left a forward address.

[xen]

There are two issues here - one is extreme immaturity, jealousy and irrationality. Could be cured by behaviour modification therapy if she is willing to accept that she is extremely immature and needs to grow up ,which is unlikely .

The other could be epilepsy like mentioned in other posts or other issues . She needs a medical diagnosis.