Starting a social life

[bangmai]

Something that is kind of strange is the number of foreigners that won't make eye contact with other foreigners. This has been fairly well documented. I've been told that this exists in the farang ghettos of Huay Kaew, too, which is ironic because you would think if they didn't like farang they could go live in Lampang or Phitsanalouk and see very few of them. It's not really country specific, I've had French neighbors, who were a lot more friendly and better neighbors than some of my fellow Americans are. They generally seem to have very few Thai friends, as well. The US State with the largest Thai influence was also the first to give able bodied men SSI checks for conditions like drug addiction, even if they were homeless. Guess where a lot of these people wound up?

[sappersrest]

I seem to recall the expat social scene of 2006 - 2009 had many more "pretensions social events" than now, especially given the smaller expat population. I don't recall anything like the Hillside Rooftop Charity event which raised over 1 million baht recently or the big Zonta event at Duang Tawan recently. .............

I moved into Hillside Plaza 4 in 2001. If I'm not mistaken, the Rooftop Charity event started a year or two later. Certainly not more than three years.

That's right. Chiang Mai has had over-priced pretensions social events where expats go to see-and-be-seen for a long time! It's not a new development. It's not fair of Buddalady to lament this as a new development. The difference was that she was part of the scene 8 or 10 years ago.

8- 10 years ago that is ancient history get a life all of you. It is now 2016 times are changing and so does peoples outlook on life.

[northernjohn]

My, my. All the self-righteous prudes are getting stuck into me. Perhaps they are confusing me with someone who cares about their opinion.

Yes, northernjohn, my girlfriend is having a great time too. You don't need specific details. Thank you for your disingenuous concern.

Buddhalady, I encounter your attitude quite commonly amongst Western women. It's hypocrisy, if one gives credence to the stories of Greek and Italian gigolos. It's also deep-seated fear, coupled with some racism. Putting it as bluntly as you did, I wouldn't touch Western women with a barge pole either. Two words are a sufficient description. High maintenance.

Hit a nerve did I?

You will notice I did not ask for details on how she is enjoying it I did say it would be nice to hear her say it. I left the door open for many things.

[northernjohn]

I seem to recall the expat social scene of 2006 - 2009 had many more "pretensions social events" than now, especially given the smaller expat population. I don't recall anything like the Hillside Rooftop Charity event which raised over 1 million baht recently or the big Zonta event at Duang Tawan recently. Now a good charity event is doing good to pull in a couple hundred people are raise a couple hundred thousand baht. So much for expats who just want to see and be seen.

I think the times of changed and people have moved on -- that's all. It's just a different crowd and when someone drops for a while they can't expect to return to a club or group and find the same people attending. That's all. There's no need to get all judgmental about it. I expect that if I returned to Michigan, I'd find a whole different crowd in my gardening club than when I left eight years ago. I wouldn't judge if they're any better or worse than the ladies of eight years ago, I'd just have to accept that it's a different crowd and decide to either get with their program or move on.

It is not just a different crowd. Many of us have gotten older. Also prices are a lot higher. The dollar is not what it was when I first came here 11 years ago. It the American dollar has recently made a bit of a comeback but most of them have not. Even at that My first visit here in 2005 it was over 40 baht now just below 36.

[northernjohn]

I seem to recall the expat social scene of 2006 - 2009 had many more "pretensions social events" than now, especially given the smaller expat population. I don't recall anything like the Hillside Rooftop Charity event which raised over 1 million baht recently or the big Zonta event at Duang Tawan recently. .............

I moved into Hillside Plaza 4 in 2001. If I'm not mistaken, the Rooftop Charity event started a year or two later. Certainly not more than three years.

That's right. Chiang Mai has had over-priced pretensions social events where expats go to see-and-be-seen for a long time! It's not a new development. It's not fair of Buddalady to lament this as a new development. The difference was that she was part of the scene 8 or 10 years ago.

Nancy - please reread my earlier posts - nowhere did I state that I was part of any see-and-be-seen, pretentious social scene years ago, nor did I 'lament' the present situation as regards such events. They're your bag, lady, and you're welcome to them.. I most decidedly was not part of such all those years ago, although I and a number of my friends were happy to take part in the Rooftop Party as it often supported smaller charities and was also a good representation of the difference and diversity of the then expat scene.

My original post concerned a change in social opportunities for a certain type of female. As usual on TVF, muddy waters are now everywhere, along with defences of the decidedly see-and-be-seen, pretentious offerings nowadays.

Why am I surprised???

Speaking of mudding the waters. Guilty as charged. Now what has your post got to do with the OP?

[Lewthetraveler]

Since the responses have long drifted away from anything to do with my original question, I will unfollow and thank you all now who actually did respond to me.

L

[puukao]

Since the responses have long drifted away from anything to do with my original question, I will unfollow and thank you all now who actually did respond to me.

L

Unfollow your own thread???!!!! This is not right!!!!! Come back!!!!

oh, forget it......you will NOT be invited to my birthday party!!!!!!!

[NancyL]

Since the responses have long drifted away from anything to do with my original question, I will unfollow and thank you all now who actually did respond to me.

L

Oh come on, Lew many of the original responders are still in here, we've just drifted off course, which is par for the course with Thai Visa. Usually the OP's question is answered in the first page or two and then the thread veers off in "interesting" directions. Sometimes a strong OP, like Jingthing (you'll get to know him, he's from the Pattaya forum, but pops over here sometimes), can get it back on track by challenging responses and reminding people of the original question, but most OPs just sit back and watch in bewilderment.

Edit: I don't mean this as an insult to you, Lew, just a statement of what happens here on ThaiVisa. Sometimes it gets so bad that the moderators have to step in and shut down a thread "for maintenance" like Tywais did recently with the important thread about Immigration Promenada. It had veered off into another galaxy.

[Dante99]

Since the responses have long drifted away from anything to do with my original question, I will unfollow and thank you all now who actually did respond to me.

L

You are right Lew, f them all. I am going to take my toys and go home too.

[bazza40]

My, my. All the self-righteous prudes are getting stuck into me. Perhaps they are confusing me with someone who cares about their opinion.

Yes, northernjohn, my girlfriend is having a great time too. You don't need specific details. Thank you for your disingenuous concern.

Buddhalady, I encounter your attitude quite commonly amongst Western women. It's hypocrisy, if one gives credence to the stories of Greek and Italian gigolos. It's also deep-seated fear, coupled with some racism. Putting it as bluntly as you did, I wouldn't touch Western women with a barge pole either. Two words are a sufficient description. High maintenance.

Hit a nerve did I?

You will notice I did not ask for details on how she is enjoying it I did say it would be nice to hear her say it. I left the door open for many things.

Hit a nerve? In your dreams. Close the door on your way out.

[Dante99]

Something that is kind of strange is the number of foreigners that won't make eye contact with other foreigners. This has been fairly well documented. I've been told that this exists in the farang ghettos of Huay Kaew, too, which is ironic because you would think if they didn't like farang they could go live in Lampang or Phitsanalouk and see very few of them. It's not really country specific, I've had French neighbors, who were a lot more friendly and better neighbors than some of my fellow Americans are. They generally seem to have very few Thai friends, as well. The US State with the largest Thai influence was also the first to give able bodied men SSI checks for conditions like drug addiction, even if they were homeless. Guess where a lot of these people wound up?

Many of us like western luxuries and amenities, which CM has and Lampang/Phitsanalok hasn't.

But don't want to be approached or accosted by strange unhealthy looking white foreigners who appear to be slightly demented.

I don't want to speak with Americans under any circumstances, no matter what their race.

Can you understand that?

Right, who would? They are a nasty lot.

They did not perhaps save your ancestors from the Germans or the Japanese?

[northernjohn]

Something that is kind of strange is the number of foreigners that won't make eye contact with other foreigners. This has been fairly well documented. I've been told that this exists in the farang ghettos of Huay Kaew, too, which is ironic because you would think if they didn't like farang they could go live in Lampang or Phitsanalouk and see very few of them. It's not really country specific, I've had French neighbors, who were a lot more friendly and better neighbors than some of my fellow Americans are. They generally seem to have very few Thai friends, as well. The US State with the largest Thai influence was also the first to give able bodied men SSI checks for conditions like drug addiction, even if they were homeless. Guess where a lot of these people wound up?

Many of us like western luxuries and amenities, which CM has and Lampang/Phitsanalok hasn't.

But don't want to be approached or accosted by strange unhealthy looking white foreigners who appear to be slightly demented.

I don't want to speak with Americans under any circumstances, no matter what their race.

Can you understand that?

Yes you are a bigot.

[cyberfarang]

Something that is kind of strange is the number of foreigners that won't make eye contact with other foreigners. This has been fairly well documented. I've been told that this exists in the farang ghettos of Huay Kaew, too, which is ironic because you would think if they didn't like farang they could go live in Lampang or Phitsanalouk and see very few of them. It's not really country specific, I've had French neighbors, who were a lot more friendly and better neighbors than some of my fellow Americans are. They generally seem to have very few Thai friends, as well. The US State with the largest Thai influence was also the first to give able bodied men SSI checks for conditions like drug addiction, even if they were homeless. Guess where a lot of these people wound up?

Glad it`s not only me that have noticed this. I`ve been around shopping and looked at other Farlangs deliberately trying to stare them straight in the face as an experiment to see how they react and no matter what I do they won`t make eye contact with me. One male Farlang about 40 year oldish wanted to look at some cheese on a shelf at the Rimping store. I was also looking at the cheese and my trolley was blocking his way. He tried to discretely push my trolley away with his trolley hoping I wouldn`t notice, only he was pushing my trolley against my leg. I asked him, would you like me to move my trolley? Still not looking me in the face he turned with his trolley and walked away rather then acknowledge me. The Farlang women are no different. On one rare occasion outside Makros on the super highway a middle aged American man actually looked at me and said; Hi, nice day today isn`t it. I went breathless from the shock that another Farlang actually acknowledged I exist.

In respect of meeting these people socially I don`t think it would be much joy with those types of people and I`ve come to accept that and I wouldn`t even try. Not having experience of living in other parts of Thailand I don`t know if they`re the same types as in Chiang Mai? I don`t really give a toss one way or another but Chiang Mai would not be my first choice of settlement if I were on my own.

[MaeJoMTB]

Did he speak English?

Not all white guys in Thailand speak English.

[cyberfarang]

Something that is kind of strange is the number of foreigners that won't make eye contact with other foreigners. This has been fairly well documented. I've been told that this exists in the farang ghettos of Huay Kaew, too, which is ironic because you would think if they didn't like farang they could go live in Lampang or Phitsanalouk and see very few of them. It's not really country specific, I've had French neighbors, who were a lot more friendly and better neighbors than some of my fellow Americans are. They generally seem to have very few Thai friends, as well. The US State with the largest Thai influence was also the first to give able bodied men SSI checks for conditions like drug addiction, even if they were homeless. Guess where a lot of these people wound up?

Many of us like western luxuries and amenities, which CM has and Lampang/Phitsanalok hasn't.

But don't want to be approached or accosted by strange unhealthy looking white foreigners who appear to be slightly demented.

I don't want to speak with Americans under any circumstances, no matter what their race.

Can you understand that?

No I don`t understand that but a good psychiatrist maybe able to fathom it out.

[daoyai]

Something that is kind of strange is the number of foreigners that won't make eye contact with other foreigners. This has been fairly well documented. I've been told that this exists in the farang ghettos of Huay Kaew, too, which is ironic because you would think if they didn't like farang they could go live in Lampang or Phitsanalouk and see very few of them. It's not really country specific, I've had French neighbors, who were a lot more friendly and better neighbors than some of my fellow Americans are. They generally seem to have very few Thai friends, as well. The US State with the largest Thai influence was also the first to give able bodied men SSI checks for conditions like drug addiction, even if they were homeless. Guess where a lot of these people wound up?

Many of us like western luxuries and amenities, which CM has and Lampang/Phitsanalok hasn't.

But don't want to be approached or accosted by strange unhealthy looking white foreigners who appear to be slightly demented.

I don't want to speak with Americans under any circumstances, no matter what their race.

Can you understand that?

Your mental illness is showing yet again or maybe you are trolling ?, So if you are in a social group and someone is from the U.S. you will not join the conversation or you will leave? poor baby.

i meet new people all the time but never when shopping, that is just not "normal" there are so many farangians in CM these days just part of the mix, make eye contact with everybody just cuz they are foreign? no, that would be creepy. Very easy to meet people here AND farang ladies are part of the social mix, often more interesting conversationalists than the men.

[cyberfarang]

Something that is kind of strange is the number of foreigners that won't make eye contact with other foreigners. This has been fairly well documented. I've been told that this exists in the farang ghettos of Huay Kaew, too, which is ironic because you would think if they didn't like farang they could go live in Lampang or Phitsanalouk and see very few of them. It's not really country specific, I've had French neighbors, who were a lot more friendly and better neighbors than some of my fellow Americans are. They generally seem to have very few Thai friends, as well. The US State with the largest Thai influence was also the first to give able bodied men SSI checks for conditions like drug addiction, even if they were homeless. Guess where a lot of these people wound up?

Many of us like western luxuries and amenities, which CM has and Lampang/Phitsanalok hasn't.

But don't want to be approached or accosted by strange unhealthy looking white foreigners who appear to be slightly demented.

I don't want to speak with Americans under any circumstances, no matter what their race.

Can you understand that?

Your mental illness is showing yet again or maybe you are trolling ?, So if you are in a social group and someone is from the U.S. you will not join the conversation or you will leave? poor baby.

i meet new people all the time but never when shopping, that is just not "normal" there are so many farangians in CM these days just part of the mix, make eye contact with everybody just cuz they are foreign? no, that would be creepy. Very easy to meet people here AND farang ladies are part of the social mix, often more interesting conversationalists than the men.

Some of my closest friends of my past life I met by chance while out shopping or at a post office, just started chatting and became life long friends. I met my first wife at a bus stop at Wood Green when I pulled her under my umbrella during a storm, 6 months later we were married. I met my present Thai girlfriend at a noodle stall. I don`t go out with intentions of stalking people and making first contact. On the otherhand I don`t go out of my way to be inhospitable if anyone fancy`s a chat with me.

Sometimes people can click, a chance encounter and relationships form, then again I try to be civil with everyone me and my life have been richer for it. I also realise that I`m living abroad now and don`t expect to find an abundance of other people like me as I would in my native England. It`s really up to everyone to make an effort to make Chiang Mai a better place for us and pull together considering how few of us there are. But it`s different strokes for different folks and live and let live me according to the lifestyles people prefer to lead.

[Saan]

I don't really understand this eye contact thing with other farangs. I don't go around peering into the eyes of Thais so why should I have a different approach when a farang hoves into sight.

A polite exchange like excuse me or good afternoon when necessary and no different than a sawasdee khrup that I would occasionally greet a Thai with when circumstance demand.

[Cpkt8]

Wow...(after reading all the posts)

Life is too short to hate each other, or take things too seriously.

[JaseTheBass]

Something that is kind of strange is the number of foreigners that won't make eye contact with other foreigners. This has been fairly well documented. I've been told that this exists in the farang ghettos of Huay Kaew, too, which is ironic because you would think if they didn't like farang they could go live in Lampang or Phitsanalouk and see very few of them. It's not really country specific, I've had French neighbors, who were a lot more friendly and better neighbors than some of my fellow Americans are. They generally seem to have very few Thai friends, as well. The US State with the largest Thai influence was also the first to give able bodied men SSI checks for conditions like drug addiction, even if they were homeless. Guess where a lot of these people wound up?

Many people are here as an escape from where they came from. Many don't want to talk to others just because they are also from a western country. They might even be French! What a disaster that would be.

[JaseTheBass]

Since the responses have long drifted away from anything to do with my original question, I will unfollow and thank you all now who actually did respond to me.

L

Oh come on, Lew many of the original responders are still in here, we've just drifted off course, which is par for the course with Thai Visa. Usually the OP's question is answered in the first page or two and then the thread veers off in "interesting" directions. Sometimes a strong OP, like Jingthing (you'll get to know him, he's from the Pattaya forum, but pops over here sometimes), can get it back on track by challenging responses and reminding people of the original question, but most OPs just sit back and watch in bewilderment.

Edit: I don't mean this as an insult to you, Lew, just a statement of what happens here on ThaiVisa. Sometimes it gets so bad that the moderators have to step in and shut down a thread "for maintenance" like Tywais did recently with the important thread about Immigration Promenada. It had veered off into another galaxy.

It's called a 'conversation' and is completely natural. Trying to keep things 'on topic' is unnatural.

[FolkGuitar]

Something that is kind of strange is the number of foreigners that won't make eye contact with other foreigners. This has been fairly well documented. I've been told that this exists in the farang ghettos of Huay Kaew, too, which is ironic because you would think if they didn't like farang they could go live in Lampang or Phitsanalouk and see very few of them. It's not really country specific, I've had French neighbors, who were a lot more friendly and better neighbors than some of my fellow Americans are. They generally seem to have very few Thai friends, as well. The US State with the largest Thai influence was also the first to give able bodied men SSI checks for conditions like drug addiction, even if they were homeless. Guess where a lot of these people wound up?

Many people are here as an escape from where they came from. Many don't want to talk to others just because they are also from a western country. They might even be French! What a disaster that would be.

Acknowledgment of another human being is perfectly natural, be they friend or stranger. When passing a stranger, a polite smile acknowledging the fact that they exist within the same ecosystem is simply that; an awareness. Polite awareness. Making eye contact doesn't require conversation, nor does it imply friendship.

To pretend that they don't exist by forced avoidance of eye contact is usually done out of fear, just as it is in the animal kingdom... Do look at the other creature so they won't feel like you are threatening them, thus keeping you safe. People may try to convince themselves that they avoid it because they have no 'desire' to make contact. That 'may' be just a cover-up for real feelings.

I'd like to think we are better than animals.

[MaeJoMTB]

I don't want to speak with Americans under any circumstances, no matter what their race.

Can you understand that?

Your mental illness is showing yet again ........

A mental illness I appear to share with most of the world!

[daoyai]

Something that is kind of strange is the number of foreigners that won't make eye contact with other foreigners. This has been fairly well documented. I've been told that this exists in the farang ghettos of Huay Kaew, too, which is ironic because you would think if they didn't like farang they could go live in Lampang or Phitsanalouk and see very few of them. It's not really country specific, I've had French neighbors, who were a lot more friendly and better neighbors than some of my fellow Americans are. They generally seem to have very few Thai friends, as well. The US State with the largest Thai influence was also the first to give able bodied men SSI checks for conditions like drug addiction, even if they were homeless. Guess where a lot of these people wound up?

Many people are here as an escape from where they came from. Many don't want to talk to others just because they are also from a western country. They might even be French! What a disaster that would be.

Acknowledgment of another human being is perfectly natural, be they friend or stranger. When passing a stranger, a polite smile acknowledging the fact that they exist within the same ecosystem is simply that; an awareness. Polite awareness. Making eye contact doesn't require conversation, nor does it imply friendship.

To pretend that they don't exist by forced avoidance of eye contact is usually done out of fear, just as it is in the animal kingdom... Do look at the other creature so they won't feel like you are threatening them, thus keeping you safe. People may try to convince themselves that they avoid it because they have no 'desire' to make contact. That 'may' be just a cover-up for real feelings.

I'd like to think we are better than animals.

Actually, we are animals so we can not be better than animals, we can only hope to be good animals. there is a time and place for everything and when and where to make social contact is best left to each individual.

[bangmai]

Something that is kind of strange is the number of foreigners that won't make eye contact with other foreigners. This has been fairly well documented. I've been told that this exists in the farang ghettos of Huay Kaew, too, which is ironic because you would think if they didn't like farang they could go live in Lampang or Phitsanalouk and see very few of them. It's not really country specific, I've had French neighbors, who were a lot more friendly and better neighbors than some of my fellow Americans are. They generally seem to have very few Thai friends, as well. The US State with the largest Thai influence was also the first to give able bodied men SSI checks for conditions like drug addiction, even if they were homeless. Guess where a lot of these people wound up?

Many people are here as an escape from where they came from. Many don't want to talk to others just because they are also from a western country. They might even be French! What a disaster that would be.

Acknowledgment of another human being is perfectly natural, be they friend or stranger. When passing a stranger, a polite smile acknowledging the fact that they exist within the same ecosystem is simply that; an awareness. Polite awareness. Making eye contact doesn't require conversation, nor does it imply friendship.

To pretend that they don't exist by forced avoidance of eye contact is usually done out of fear, just as it is in the animal kingdom... Do look at the other creature so they won't feel like you are threatening them, thus keeping you safe. People may try to convince themselves that they avoid it because they have no 'desire' to make contact. That 'may' be just a cover-up for real feelings.

I'd like to think we are better than animals.

Well stated....it's not that I want or need to be best buddies with anyone, or even remotely expect everyone to like me, but OTOH, there are way too many sights you might miss if you walk looking at your feet shuffle across the ground. "Billy" on One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest comes to mind.

[FolkGuitar]

Something that is kind of strange is the number of foreigners that won't make eye contact with other foreigners. This has been fairly well documented. I've been told that this exists in the farang ghettos of Huay Kaew, too, which is ironic because you would think if they didn't like farang they could go live in Lampang or Phitsanalouk and see very few of them. It's not really country specific, I've had French neighbors, who were a lot more friendly and better neighbors than some of my fellow Americans are. They generally seem to have very few Thai friends, as well. The US State with the largest Thai influence was also the first to give able bodied men SSI checks for conditions like drug addiction, even if they were homeless. Guess where a lot of these people wound up?

Many people are here as an escape from where they came from. Many don't want to talk to others just because they are also from a western country. They might even be French! What a disaster that would be.

Acknowledgment of another human being is perfectly natural, be they friend or stranger. When passing a stranger, a polite smile acknowledging the fact that they exist within the same ecosystem is simply that; an awareness. Polite awareness. Making eye contact doesn't require conversation, nor does it imply friendship.

To pretend that they don't exist by forced avoidance of eye contact is usually done out of fear, just as it is in the animal kingdom... Do look at the other creature so they won't feel like you are threatening them, thus keeping you safe. People may try to convince themselves that they avoid it because they have no 'desire' to make contact. That 'may' be just a cover-up for real feelings.

I'd like to think we are better than animals.

Actually, we are animals so we can not be better than animals, we can only hope to be good animals. there is a time and place for everything and when and where to make social contact is best left to each individual.

Do you consider making eye contact "social contact?" I don't. To me, that's just acknowledging another human being on the planet. I'm not about to ask them for a date.

[happy Joe]

Many people are here as an escape from where they came from. Many don't want to talk to others just because they are also from a western country. They might even be French! What a disaster that would be.

You are quite right, especially don't try to discuss with French's because they absolutely don't want listen you.

[bangmai]

Many people are here as an escape from where they came from. Many don't want to talk to others just because they are also from a western country. They might even be French! What a disaster that would be.

You are quite right, especially don't try to discuss with French's because they absolutely don't want listen you.

but, with an open mind, you will soon learn that there are pretty big differences between the Parisians and the rest of the bunch. Or if you go to America, with a land size 65 times larger than England, a mere 10 Km can mean similar differences in attitudes and friendliness, even accents and language usage can differ in short distances.

[sappersrest]

For all you anti American Brits French Belgians Poles and other countries I can't remember Take a trip to Madinlgey Cemetery in Cambridge when you are in the UK next then you may start to think a bit differently, and see the sacrifice that country made in order that we may be free from tyranny

http://madingleyamericancemetery.info/index.html

[stoneyboy]

For all you anti American Brits French Belgians Poles and other countries I can't remember Take a trip to Madinlgey Cemetery in Cambridge when you are in the UK next then you may start to think a bit differently, and see the sacrifice that country made in order that we may be free from tyranny

http://madingleyamericancemetery.info/index.html

If you can get off the A14 without a hitch,terrible road.