tips for a begginer in Thailand, culture diff., dating ...

[Matej]

Hello

Can you suggest some books/movies, about Thailand every expat or 'tourist' should read/watch?
Especially about culture differences, language, dating and sex, business in Thailand.
I'm 25 years old, 'long-term' tourist, usually spending 6 months here, 6 back in the EU ...

I just finished Private Dancer by Stephen Leather. I know it's only a novel and
I'm not saying it represents Thai dating scene or girls, but I wish I read it when I first got here -
I lost some money to a cancer scam and also time trying to change a liar to honest girl. Yes, I was so naive back then, hope it's better now ...

Thank you and have a nice day.

Edited January 28, 2016 by Matej

[mesquite]

How do you afford to live in Thailand as a tourist six months out of the year at age 25?

[Matej]

How do you afford to live in Thailand as a tourist six months out of the year at age 25?

Internet, IT, airline error fares ...

I stay here on tourist visa so I'm a tourist, but that doesn't mean I pay 1500 thb for hotel everyday ... and I'm off now.

Edited January 28, 2016 by Matej

[CharlieH]

Troll style comment and responses removed.

9) You will not post inflammatory messages on the forum, or attempt to disrupt discussions to upset its participants, or trolling. Trolling can be defined as the act of purposefully antagonizing other people on the internet by posting controversial, inflammatory, irrelevant or off-topic messages with the primary intent of provoking other users into an emotional response or to generally disrupt normal on-topic discussion.

[thaiduncankk]

Private Dancer is the bible as far as relationships are concerned.

Meeting others, either from your own country, or similar background, and sharing experiences, is usually helpful.

[MaeJoMTB]

"I lost some money to a cancer scam and also time trying to change a liar to honest girl. Yes, I was so naive back then, hope it's better now ..."

Their mum and their Buffalo are not sick or suffering from cancer,

But feel free to help them out with their medical bills, just not more than 1,000bht a night.

(1,500bht if they're really pretty)

Honest girl?

Is there such a thing? I've been looking for one for 44 years and not found her yet.

Maybe it's me, or I'm looking in the wrong places.

Edited January 29, 2016 by MaeJoMTB

[zeichen]

"Private Dancer is the bible as far as relationships are concerned."

Sorry but books on dating prostitutes shouldn't be a bible for dating. How Jaded are all of you.

You lost money because you came here with an imperialist attitude and a savior complex. If you treat local women the same as you would back home, then you wouldn't have lost any money. Date women with your social and educational background and stop trying to go "pretty woman" turning prostitutes into socialites.

If you really want to watch movies that represent the culture: Fan Shan(modern love story/friendship), Suriyothai (historical) Sukothai is pretty good also, Nang Nak(ghost movie) I don't do the comedies or the horror/comedies but you will understand their sense of humor more.

Reading books written by foreigners explaining dating, culture, etc. will only give you a jaded experience. Watch what the locals watch, listen to the music they listen to.

[fiddlehead]

"Thailand Fever" sounds like the book for the OP.
It explains many things about the differeneces in cultures, in both Thai and English (so you can read it together with your girlfriend/wife/bargirl/whatever)

[pgrahmm]

Thai Fever offers pretty good advice and balance between cultural differences/nuances and what to be aware of....By no means a "Bible" but covers a pretty broad spectrum.....

Written from a Thai and/versus Farang perspective.....

It's a strong read for what you are interested in knowing.....

[claffey]

Semi retired at 25! Perhaps you should get a job here rather than being a 'tourist'. You will become more immersed in the culture if you live and work here on a more permanent basis. Try to date girls that come from a similar background as you.Would you try to have relationships with prostitutes at home? Just behave like to would at home and be respectful to everyone and everything here...And get a job!

[nikmar]

I recommend learning by experience.

private Dancer is <deleted>

[thaiduncankk]

90% of TV members have a hi-so wife or g/f, not met on a dating website, so you should get some good info here !

[i claudius]

Only experiance counts , forget books and asking people ,go out do it and learn , like most of us "oldies" did .

[djayz]

"Private Dancer is the bible as far as relationships are concerned."

Sorry but books on dating prostitutes shouldn't be a bible for dating. How Jaded are all of you.

You lost money because you came here with an imperialist attitude and a savior complex. If you treat local women the same as you would back home, then you wouldn't have lost any money. Date women with your social and educational background and stop trying to go "pretty woman" turning prostitutes into socialites.

If you really want to watch movies that represent the culture: Fan Shan(modern love story/friendship), Suriyothai (historical) Sukothai is pretty good also, Nang Nak(ghost movie) I don't do the comedies or the horror/comedies but you will understand their sense of humor more.

Reading books written by foreigners explaining dating, culture, etc. will only give you a jaded experience. Watch what the locals watch, listen to the music they listen to.

The best reply so far. 100% spot on!

[Fabricus]

The Vicious Truth About Thai Hookers

by TheBlether

"A finely crafted piece of modern literature that blends good advice with refreshingly original Caledonian humor"

The New York Times Book Review

====

I have actually heard some fairly good reviews about this guy's stuff. Check it out over on Amazon. It'll only cost you a dollar or so.

Edited January 29, 2016 by Fabricus

[Gecko123]

Thai for Beginners

Benjawan Poomsan Becker

ISBN 1-887521-00-3

[ratcatcher]

90% of TV members have a hi-so wife or g/f, not met on a dating website, so you should get some good info here !

What about the 10% with Thai Chinese wives with managerial jobs and PhDs?

[zeichen]

"What about the 10% with Thai Chinese wives with managerial jobs and PhDs?"

What does it matter what someone else marries? Why do you doubt people?

There are 1000's and 1000's of Thais with Phd, so why can't TV members be married to them? Why can't TV members be married to Middle and Upper class locals?

The jaded view of posters here is really sad.

[Fabricus]

"What about the 10% with Thai Chinese wives with managerial jobs and PhDs?"

What does it matter what someone else marries? Why do you doubt people?

There are 1000's and 1000's of Thais with Phd, so why can't TV members be married to them? Why can't TV members be married to Middle and Upper class locals?

The jaded view of posters here is really sad.

It's all down to envy and bitterness, and it's really easy to understand.

Make a list of character traits that women find unappealing. The list might include:

1. Envy

2. Timidity / effeminacy

3. Bitterness

4. Petty mindedness

5. Obsessive need to have the last word

6. Vindictiveness / spite

7. Hypocrisy

Men with these traits fail with women in their own countries. They are systematically rejected. They then come to Thailand. And their envy and bitterness continues.

Thailand does not make these men envious and/or bitter. They have always been envious and/or bitter.

<removed>

Edited January 29, 2016 by CharlieH
inflammatory generalisation removed.

[SoiBiker]

"What about the 10% with Thai Chinese wives with managerial jobs and PhDs?"

What does it matter what someone else marries? Why do you doubt people?

There are 1000's and 1000's of Thais with Phd, so why can't TV members be married to them? Why can't TV members be married to Middle and Upper class locals?

The jaded view of posters here is really sad.

It's all down to envy and bitterness, and it's really easy to understand.

Make a list of character traits that women find unappealing. The list might include:

1. Envy

2. Timidity / effeminacy

3. Bitterness

4. Petty mindedness

5. Obsessive need to have the last word

6. Vindictiveness / spite

7. Hypocrisy

Men with these traits fail with women in their own countries. They are systematically rejected. They then come to Thailand. And their envy and bitterness continues.

Thailand does not make these men envious and/or bitter. They have always been envious and/or bitter.

Whilst I think you're right about some expats, I don't agree with that last part. Plenty of decent westerners living here. It just depends largely on who you choose to socialise with.

[kannot]

90% of TV members have a hi-so wife or g/f, not met on a dating website, so you should get some good info here !

i met my Wife on a dating site.................10 years ago, she now supports me totally so stop talking out yer ar*e

[Matej]

"Private Dancer is the bible as far as relationships are concerned."

Sorry but books on dating prostitutes shouldn't be a bible for dating. How Jaded are all of you.

You lost money because you came here with an imperialist attitude and a savior complex. If you treat local women the same as you would back home, then you wouldn't have lost any money. Date women with your social and educational background and stop trying to go "pretty woman" turning prostitutes into socialites.

If you really want to watch movies that represent the culture: Fan Shan(modern love story/friendship), Suriyothai (historical) Sukothai is pretty good also, Nang Nak(ghost movie) I don't do the comedies or the horror/comedies but you will understand their sense of humor more.

Reading books written by foreigners explaining dating, culture, etc. will only give you a jaded experience. Watch what the locals watch, listen to the music they listen to.

I didn't say it's the bible ...

Imperialism, really?

I lost money, because I was trying to help ...

I know her more than a year, we were even in KL together, I met her family, people in her work ...

They can play hard. I know that now

Thank you for your tips, I will watch those movies.

[Matej]

"I lost some money to a cancer scam and also time trying to change a liar to honest girl. Yes, I was so naive back then, hope it's better now ..."

Their mum and their Buffalo are not sick or suffering from cancer,

But feel free to help them out with their medical bills, just not more than 1,000bht a night.

(1,500bht if they're really pretty)

Honest girl?

Is there such a thing? I've been looking for one for 44 years and not found her yet.

Maybe it's me, or I'm looking in the wrong places.

I hope we are not at the same track my friend ...

Sure, I'm few decades behind you, but the final station can be the same, bitterness city ...

Eventually we will meet someone decent

[Fabricus]

90% of TV members have a hi-so wife or g/f, not met on a dating website, so you should get some good info here !

i met my Wife on a dating site.................10 years ago, she now supports me totally so stop talking out yer ar*e

I'm afraid Mr Duncan has a curious obsession with dating websites.

He views them as the source of all that's wrong and evil here in Thailand.

[SoiBiker]

I met my wife on a dating website too. That's how a lot of people meet these days. Nothing odd about it.

[NoshowJones]

90% of TV members have a hi-so wife or g/f, not met on a dating website, so you should get some good info here !

About 90% of Farang friends of mine are married to ex bargirls, I cannot think of one who is hi-so, like any married couples, they will have their ups and downs, and from

what I have seen, the are decent girls.

There is one friend in particular who is 38 years old, his wife is ten years older, have been married for about ten years, have two children and

are still happily married. Although his wife was a bargirl, they never met in a bar.

And I will say again "No, my wife was never a bargirl". If I had found out she was after we met, I would still have stayed with her.

[NoshowJones]

"What about the 10% with Thai Chinese wives with managerial jobs and PhDs?"

What does it matter what someone else marries? Why do you doubt people?

There are 1000's and 1000's of Thais with Phd, so why can't TV members be married to them? Why can't TV members be married to Middle and Upper class locals?

The jaded view of posters here is really sad.

I am married to what you might call a "middle class local", she has been in the same job since she left college, and I was no more than working class back in the UK.

I would hate to think any of my views are "really sad". I respect the biggest majority of TV members views, and would hope they respect mine, even if they don't agree with them.

[Fabricus]

I met my wife on a dating website too. That's how a lot of people meet these days. Nothing odd about it.

Interesting. Thanks for sharing.

If you want to probe deeper, there is a couple of well-written pieces out there on the net (both from the Daily Telegraph) which show that almost everyone these days uses dating sites.

I have never understood why some men on this forum have such a strange aversion to dating websites.

[SoiBiker]

I met my wife on a dating website too. That's how a lot of people meet these days. Nothing odd about it.

Interesting. Thanks for sharing.

If you want to probe deeper, there is a couple of well-written pieces out there on the net (both from the Daily Telegraph) which show that almost everyone these days uses dating sites.

I have never understood why some men on this forum have such a strange aversion to dating websites.

Because they're distrustful of any relatively recent technological developments?

[zeichen]

"Imperialism, really?

I lost money, because I was trying to help ..."

yes, that is imperialism. You come with a superior sense of privilege and think that others need your help. Would you just go give money to girls that you know back home? Who do you try to help financially in your own country?

This is the mindset you seem to be in "I'm in a 3rd world country and I need to help these people have a better life especially since I love her and her family."

I like many people and find them to be honest and hard working, I still don't give people money. Neither do I ever ask for it.

Do whatever you want, make friendships with whoever you want but don't equate all Thai women to village girls or bar girls looking for a ladder to elevate themselves. These gospels on Thai women and dating are pure tripe built on stereotypes and personal agendas written by jaded and cynical people.

If you want to find someone that you can relate to and contributes equally to the relationship, then stop doing whatever you are doing.

In 15+ years here. I have never met a single woman here that wanted anything financial from me. I just don't hang out with gold diggers or social climbers.

Join a club, sports team, start a hobby, take a class and you will find like minded people. Lots of my friends join biking clubs and a few have met their partners there.