Excerpts From Classifieds

[mandl]

Excerpts from actual classifieds (supposedly):

Illiterate? Write today for help.

Auto Repair Service. Try us once and you'll never go anywhere again.

Dog for sale. Eats anything, is fond of children.

Stock up and save. Limit one per customer.

We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.

Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.

For Rent: Six room hated apartment.

Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first.

And now, the Superstore - unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience.