Posh N Becks

[Wolfie]

Posh and Becks are sitting in front of the television watching the

six o'clock news.The main story is a man threatening to jump off

the Clifton Suspension Bridge on to the busy road below. Posh turns to

Becks and says: "David,I bet you ?,000 that he jumps!" to which

Beckham replies "?,000? Done! I bet that he doesn't." So they shake

hands on the bet and continue watching. Sure enough, the man jumps

and hits the road below with a loud thud. Beckham takes ?,000 out

of his back pocket and hands it to Posh. But she refuses.

"I can't take your money, David," she says.

"The truth is, I was cheating. I saw the five o'clock news, so

I knew he was going to jump."

"No, babe, fair's fair" says David.

"That money is yours fair and square I was cheating just as you

were. I saw the five o'clock news, too. I just didn't think he

would do it again."

The Manchester United players are in the dressing room on Saturday,

just before the game, when Roy Keane walks in. "Boss," he says,

"there's a problem. I'm not playing unless I get a cortisone injection."

"Hey," says Becks. "If he's having a new car, so am I."

David Beckham goes shopping, and sees something interesting in the

kitchen department of a large department store. "What's that?" he

asks.

"A Thermos flask," replies the assistant.

"What does it do?" asks Becks.

The assistant tells him it keeps hot things hot and cold things cold.

Really impressed, Beckham buys one and takes it along to his next

training session.

"Here, boys, look at this," Beckham says proudly.

"It's a Thermos flask."

The lads are impressed. "What does it do?" they ask.

"It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold, "says David.

"And what have you got In it?" asks Roy Keane.

"Two cups of coffee and a Choc ice," replies David.

Posh takes her car into a garage to have some dents removed. The

mechanic knowing she isn't the brightest Spice Girl in the world,

decides to play a joke on her. "You don't need me to take those dents

out," he says. "Just blow up the exhaust pipe and the metal will pop

back into place". So she takes the car home and tries it. David spots

her from the house,opens a window and shouts

"You silly cow! You have to wind the windows up first!"

David Beckham is celebrating: "57 days, 57 days!" he shouts happily.

Posh asks him why he is celebrating. He answers: "Well, I've done this

jigsaw in only 57 days." "Is that good?" asks Posh. "You bet," says David.

"It says 3 to 5 years on the box."

Victoria Beckham and her driver were cruising along a country road

one evening when a cow ran in front of the car. The driver tried to

avoid it but couldn't -the cow was killed. Posh told her driver to

go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what happened.

About an hour later, the driver staggered back to the car with his

clothes in disarray. He was holding a bottle of wine in one hand, a

cigar in the other and smiling happily. "What happened?" asked Posh .

"Well," the driver replied, "the farmer gave me the wine, his wife

gave me the cigar, and their beautiful daughter made mad passionate

love to me." "My God, what did you tell them?" asked Posh. The driver

replied: "I'm Victoria Beckham's driver, and I just killed the cow."

[bodypaul]

very good but only for the Brits!!

[Axel]

very good but only for the Brits!!

Why? Just translate it into Spanish...

[Simbo]

I thought we were all Brits?