Jokes

[A. BOOZER]

Remember, once you get over the hill,

you'll begin to pick up speed.

I love cooking with wine.

Sometimes I even put it in the food.

If it weren't for STRESS I'd have no energy at all.

Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.

Everyone has a photographic memory.

Some, like me, just don't have any film.

I always know God won't give me more than I can handle but

there are times I wish He didn't trust me quite so much.

Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.

If the shoe fits......buy a pair in every color.

Never be too open minded, your brains could fall out.

Just going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more

than standing in a garage makes you a car.

If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.

Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

Some days are a total waste of makeup.

Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.

A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

Middle age is when broadness of the mind and

na rrowness of the waist change places.

Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.

Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away

three weeks before you need it.

Experience is a wonderful thing.

It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.

Learn from the mistakes of others.

Trust me...you can't live long enough to make them all yourself.

I've tried!