Do Thai favor Son over Daughters?

[elgordo38]

Well to answer this question I turned to the live in resident expert on this my Thai g/f. Her answer was "Thai man heap big smoke but no fire me no want" In her immediate family the father kept getting mama pregnant against her wishes till she produced a male. The three females the first borns do more to keep the family together fed sheltered and nutured.  The last born the male is only interested in a new truck and making truck payments and having a g/f and setting aside the sin sod. Sometimes I think the relationship will not last until the last baht of gold is gathered up. He looks with envy at his 3 sisters. My g/f with me, another with a financially loving b/f in France and one that is married to a Dutchman who has built a guesthouse business complete with  pool. I sometimes thinks he curses the day he was born a male. He and his g/f now slave away on a North Korean chicken farm dreaming the dream his sisters are now living. For the sake of disclosure all the girls have claimed they would never setup housekeeping with a Thai male. 

Edited October 8, 2016 by elgordo38

[scorecard]

14 hours ago, upside said:

 

Do you think Thai men like us? 

 

Why would you propose that question as simply a  'yes' or 'no'.

 

Doesn't take much brain power to recognize that there are many scenarios involved in a question like this.

 

Most of my Thai family, close and extended, have a more open and realistic attitude to this subject and gauge people by their honesty, sincerity etc.

 

On the other hand I have one extended family guy (husband of sister-in-law) who doesn't work and is a leech on his Thai wife expecting her to earn the money and wait on him hand and foot, he seriously hates all non-Thai people and takes every opportunity to say so. The extended family avoid him and ignore him.

Edited October 8, 2016 by scorecard

[Global Guy]

Here is an example of a typical situation with Thai parents and children. My gf's parents live 90 minutes north of Bangkok. We are in Jomtien. The parents have an adult son who lives at home with them. He works and has a car.

 

The mother has to go to the doctor. The sone is sitting on the couch, watching TV. She asks him to take her to the doctor. He says no. They argue. Mom calls my gf. My gf panics and says she has to go take mom to the doctor. I ask, why not her brother? He has a car. He's home.

 

No, the mom doesn't want to argue with the son any more so the daughter has to drive the 2.5 hours to get there while the son sits on his ass and watches TV.

 

And this is acceptable to them.

 

Here's another good one. The son pays no rent. My gf, who lives with me, was paying the parents 5,000 baht a month for rent while living there and kept paying when she moved in with me. I told her she can pay rent to them all she wants, but she will pay an equal amount towards our rent since she is living here. She finally stopped paying mom rent and pays towards our rent. But it was a big deal to stop paying mom for rent even though she didn't live there. It was never an issue that the son never paid anything and still doesn't.

 

Apply that thinking to anything relating to sons, daughters, and their parents.

[ross163103]

It's a patriarchal society, so yes, they favor males over females.

[Stevemercer]

Previous Thai generations (now in their 60s) tended to have large families. The oldest male was usually favoured (especially by the Mum), but females were well looked after. Often the oldest son worked hard to help bring a better education and life for the younger kids. In Thailand inheritance is usually through the female side so they end up with the family land and houses. This can give them greater security when mum and dad pass away.

 

My wife's generation (now aged 50 plus) tended to have only two children. Both sexes tend (in my opinion) to be spoiled. Parents will often help financially support their children well into their 30s. They are often expected to help find them (and pay for) a job, start a business for them and so on. The daughter will often move back with her kids if her marriage fails.

 

Today's generation may have zero, one, or sometimes two, children. I expect these kids will be even more spoiled. The cultural system of family support will increasingly break down in Thailand simply because there are less and less young people with each successive generation.

[transam]

Boys get away with ________and are revered.....The youngest bird is also revered cos she has to take care of M & D....

[spacemand]

GF worked hard from having very little growing up to go through uni and becoming a civil servant, brother in law is career army, sister in law worked until recently and now studies to become a nurse, youngest brother in law just finishes 2 years in technical college and now have 6 months in a factory putting his newly learned electrician skills to the test.

None of them have gotten anything handed to them they have all worked their butts off to get where they are in life, the youngest my gf had to kick his ass and tell him to go to school and helped him get through it financially there have been a little favoritism with him but with him being the youngest (14 years from oldest to youngest) I think its more that then him being a boy.

[Trembly]

16 hours ago, upside said:

 

Do you think Thai men like us? 

In my experience T̶h̶a̶i̶  most men tend to dislike other men who they perceive as nobs and tend to get on well with or at least have no ill feeling towards other men who they don't perceive as nobs.

There are also men who like are wary of other men who they perceive as threats, but I think that's down to personal insecurity rather than culture / nationality. 

[Grubster]

I think boys are generally spoiled a bit in Thailand and western countries, girls seem to understand that they will need to work to get ahead at a much earlier age. I also think up here in the Northeast the boy can do no wrong but the girl will get her ass kicked for the same thing. I see girls being slapped by their mothers frequently here, never the boys who are causing havoc in stores etc. I would say it is obvious here or just a wild coincidence that I happen to see so many cases of this. I also think the girls work desperately to try to get the love and respect from their mothers that the boys get automatically.  The fathers seem to treat them much more equally, but if you live up here than you know who rules the roost.      

[kiniyow]

Prefer Women--Just Look at the Number of Ladyboys in Country

[Lamkyong]

3 minutes ago, kiniyow said:

Prefer Women--Just Look at the Number of Ladyboys in Country

like your post   but not too accurate     why do i say this i don't know  but amusing all the same 

[DSJPC]

Definitely!!!

[Gecko123]

I think Thai family culture needs to be delved into a little deeper to understand what is going on here. It's overly simplistic to say Thais favor their male children simply because they are male. There are a lot of cultural factors in play here.  

 

For example, Thai parents, who benefit from almost no government social security, are more dependent on their children to help provide for them in old age than their counterparts in the West. Many Thai parents, as much as they'd like to, may be hesitatant to take a "kick Johnny out of the house, and force him to find a job" approach because it might result in the kids turning their backs on their parents when they get older. This fear may be behind some of the seemingly indulgent behavior people observe.

 

Also, in farming communities, some Thai parents seem to put low emphasis on educational performance because they consciously or unconsciously want their children, (particularly their male children), to help them work and possibly take over the farm when they are elderly. These low educational expectations tend to sometimes bleed into low expectations generally.

 

The point I'm making is that the idea that Thai parents encourage their sons to sit around just because they are boys is crazy. There are some powerful motivations underlying this perceived behavior.  

 

Boys and young men tend to socialize in larger groups than women (motorcyle packs, drinking and card playing circles, cock fighting, sports), which tends to make them more visible, and may help explain the impression that they have more than their fair share of leisure time on their hands. While there are definitely slackers out there, most men sooner or later have to pull their weight, if they want to have food on the table. Also, keep in mind that during the rainy season it is sometimes impossible to work the fields, and this can create a very unfair impression that everyone is sitting around all day twiddling their thumbs. 

 

As far as Thai girls are concerned, there are just as many academic female slouches as there are boy slouches in rural schools. With that said, Thai girls and young women seem to have somewhat more awareness about their futures than Thai boys and young men. This may be because Thai girls become aware of earlier and feel under more pressure to develop themselves to attract a mate.

 

With that said, in my village, there are far more examples of parents investing in a daughter's education than in their son's education. Thai parents seem to invest in their children based on the potential payoff. I've seen no evidence of academic opportunities provided based solely on gender.

 

Again, what I'm saying here is that saying that Thai boys receive preferential treatment over Thai girls simply because they are male is overly simplistic, and there are many underlying cultural motives at play.

Edited October 8, 2016 by Gecko123

[Borzandy]

21 hours ago, upside said:

 

Do you think Thai men like us? 

No, Thai men like only money.

[upside]

13 minutes ago, Borzandy said:

No, Thai men like only money.

 

I'd say 70% of Thai men don't like farang. Its a jealousy thing and of course driven by seeing us spend even if it's 2 week millionaires on a holiday. The ones that like us have their <deleted> together or run a business and enjoy seeing us spend in their business. 

 

True or not? 

 

 

 

 

 

[Lamkyong]

9 hours ago, Paul Catton said:

My observations are mothers tend to dote more over their sons than daughters, fathers tend to do the opposite, just my opinion based on observation, rather than all inclusive social science study to provide a conclusive answer.

Does that clarify my stance for you?

well yes and no my family has no daughters

[bangon04]

Here's an (asian) generalisation: when i see a Thai family with young children walking through a shopping mall, especially near a toyshop, I see the little girl with her nose pressed against the shop window quietly wishing, while her little brother is the one rolling on the floor screaming a tantrum.

Since Thai males often run away leaving the woman holding the baby, then logically the mothers and grandmothers must be at least partly responsible for teaching their little boys that it is ok to throw a tantrum to get a result. This may contribute to a lack of emotional development in teen years. At the same time the little girl is taught to be demure, hardworking and be chattel for the family without complaining, being sold into marriage or worse. In muslim states girls and boys are often taught that a girl who does not conform in manners or conservative dress deserves to be raped / brutalised.

 

[elliss]

12 hours ago, chicowoodduck said:

Depends on how they dress and act.....lol?

 

On 10/7/2016 at 10:35 PM, elliss said:

 

     Thai male ego ,  comes to mind . 

       Females are subservient ,  take care ,, as  us  farlangs  know .

 

Edited October 8, 2016 by elliss
spelling

[elliss]

2 hours ago, Borzandy said:

No, Thai men like only money.

 

       OMG .    Thai males resent the fact , that old farangs , can buy thai girl friends, wives , etc .

 

        Bttopic ,  daughter have better earning potential , bar fines etc , and  take  care of their families more.

[ericthai]

13 hours ago, hdkane said:

It seems that most people are being sensitive to the issue...but when a nation's people/govt expect a huge portion of their girls to become prostitutes, it's pretty obvious how the country feels about females.  Thai men are cowards, lazy, and stupid.  I can state that I have met less than a dozen men who were honest and hard working...ALL others I have met have ultimately revealed themselves to be liars, cheats, and thieves...even doctors, attorneys, military officers, and govt officials...

 

only 3% of Thai men pay taxes to support their country...women are expected to carry the load of the nation, either on their shoulders or on their backs...

 

And yes, I'm sure there are exceptions...but why bother with these outliers?  People stupidly think that an exceptional example somehow voids the generalization...it's actually the opposite...you must aggregate data to make a judgement...Thai men are pretty worthless as a group...the ones who actually display the avowed traits of "Thainess" are pretty rare...

 

dude get out of the bars...  "The govt expects a huge portion of their girls to become prostitutes"  give me a break as if the govt enforces this idea. Also it's a minority of the girls that are involved in the sex scene.

 

I have lived and worked in Thailand over 20 years. I have worked in the industrial areas in Thailand and there are allot of smart Thai guys doing engineering, chemistry, etc.  How do you think all these large international manufactures in Thailand produce things? They have skilled labor.  This is an advantage Thailand has over places like Cambodia, Vietnam, Burma etc.  One of the reasons large international companies invest in Thailand is because of  the skilled labor force.  Sure there are lazy Thai guys in Thailand same as any other country, but the majority work. 

[Gecko123]

18 hours ago, hdkane said:

It seems that most people are being sensitive to the issue...but when a nation's people/govt expect a huge portion of their girls to become prostitutes, it's pretty obvious how the country feels about females.  Thai men are cowards, lazy, and stupid.  I can state that I have met less than a dozen men who were honest and hard working...ALL others I have met have ultimately revealed themselves to be liars, cheats, and thieves...even doctors, attorneys, military officers, and govt officials...

 

only 3% of Thai men pay taxes to support their country...women are expected to carry the load of the nation, either on their shoulders or on their backs...

 

And yes, I'm sure there are exceptions...but why bother with these outliers?  People stupidly think that an exceptional example somehow voids the generalization...it's actually the opposite...you must aggregate data to make a judgement...Thai men are pretty worthless as a group...the ones who actually display the avowed traits of "Thainess" are pretty rare...

 

You sound like someone who is angry because he unwittingly had sex with a ladyboy. I mean seriously, dude, what's behind all the insane hatred of Thai men? It really does come across as pathological. By the way, I'll bet you wouldn't last a day doing any kind of harvest work.  

Edited October 8, 2016 by Gecko123

[johnnywishbone]

It seems to me the Thai put a great deal of emphasis on education.
Private schools.
Even in the stix.


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[johnnywishbone]

Why am I double spaced?
any clue?


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[teacherpaul]

On 07/10/2016 at 3:54 PM, Berkshire said:

 

The OP associates exclusively with the lower realms of Thai society.  Since his Thai family and friends are useless, he assumes the entire country is like that.  Yes, this is a pretty ignorant attitude.  And it's why farangs in Thailand are respected less and less in Thailand.

Your comment is innacurate on many levels.

 

Firstly, he mentioned that so many Thai males are useless, not all of them.

 

Secondly, his attitude is not ignorant, it is spot on. Thai males are given preference over females. This is a cultural fact, not an opinion, mostly stated by Thais themselves. I have had many Thai adult students and friends, both male and female stating that males are given more freedom and preference over females; they can smoke, drink, stay out late, sleep with whoever they like and not contribute to the family financially.

 

Thirdly, his attitude is not the reason that Westerners are less respected in Thailand (if that is even true). If we are less respected, there are a number of reasons; sex tourism, cultural differences, a xenophobic government and media.

 

If you took off your PC rose-tinted specs, you might see the truth.

[GOLDBUGGY]

From what I have seen it sure looks like sons are favored over daughters.

 

That is not to say Thai's don't love there daughters to. My Thai Brother-in-law and his wife just had a baby and they wanted a girl over a boy. It is just that the boys seemed to be spoiled more than the girls. Even by his own sisters.

 

But then Thai Women tend to spoil their men to, so I guess this is no surprise.   

[Berkshire]

8 hours ago, teacherpaul said:

Your comment is innacurate on many levels.

 

Firstly, he mentioned that so many Thai males are useless, not all of them.

 

Secondly, his attitude is not ignorant, it is spot on. Thai males are given preference over females. This is a cultural fact, not an opinion, mostly stated by Thais themselves. I have had many Thai adult students and friends, both male and female stating that males are given more freedom and preference over females; they can smoke, drink, stay out late, sleep with whoever they like and not contribute to the family financially.

 

Thirdly, his attitude is not the reason that Westerners are less respected in Thailand (if that is even true). If we are less respected, there are a number of reasons; sex tourism, cultural differences, a xenophobic government and media.

 

If you took off your PC rose-tinted specs, you might see the truth.

 

Pretty much everything you've said is wrong.  Thai parents, especially fathers, are more strict with their daughters...mostly because they're being protective of their daughters.  Has nothing to do with preference.  You really have no idea what you're talking about.

[elliss]

On 10/8/2016 at 11:40 AM, DrTuner said:

Nope, daughters are favorable since you can then cash in on the sinsod. Boys are good in keeping up the bloodline, though, they knock up half the village.

 

                          Exactly , spot on , sillysod pay big money .  i should know kap. 

[piersbeckett]

From what I've seen in my years here, daughters are generally preferred as they are more likely to support their parents in the parents' old age.  Daughters are seen as more likely to send money back home to their parents than sons who often see their responsibility as ending with the support of their own wives and children.

 

In wealthy Thai families where they have the luxury of other considerations, I should imagine the above is less relevant.

 

 

[Cake Monster]

I know of a Thai man who has effectively dumped his wife and 3 children ( all 3 children are girls ),  and has a pregnant a lover in tow, who he really hopes will give him a son.

 

Says it all dont it !!!!

Must have a " Little Emperor " at all costs 

[piersbeckett]

On 08/10/2016 at 0:19 PM, ross163103 said:

It's a patriarchal society, so yes, they favor males over females.

I disagree in that I think it's a matriarchal society i.e. in most functional families, the purse strings are held by the female partner.

 

Granted, dysfunctional families are usually patriarchal and that is often sited by the functional families as the cause of their dysfunctional state.

 

I am, of course, assuming that there are more functional than dysfunctional Thai families and I've answered the OP's question in post 58.