why do so many girls turn to toms

[petermik]

The only Tom I can remember was Tom Tom the Pipers son..........so what has happened

[bendejo]

8 hours ago, Anthony5 said:

I have such a couple as direct door neighbours. Very nice people, and not the Tom isn't horrible.

 

Not so long ago I helped them with an issue they had with their pool pump.

 

After I finished they asked how much they owed me. I answered them that I didn't charge anything for neighbours, but when they insisted I said OK I wanna watch

 

The week after my doorbell rang, and when I opened the door, there was the Tom and his GF standing with a nice Tag Heuer for me.

 

I can relate.  I got a sweater for my birthday, but I would have preferred a moaner or a screamer.

 

 

[BsBs]

Among all the nice people that we meet in Thailand, Toms have always been the most unfriendly ones.

 

Too many Toms in this country to be just a choice for most of them. It is often related to some "hate" for males.

 

Just as there are too many ladyboys to be caused by a real deep idea of what they think they are. It's also a lifestyle or something that just happened in their lives.

 

 

 

Edited November 29, 2016 by BsBs

[1FinickyOne]

8 hours ago, Thaiwrath said:

 

They are control freaks.

Ask any 'dee' who tried to end a relationship, and you will hear the truth.

 

Thanks for the insight - I have not seen that characteristic, but my view would be pretty surface level. I actually could imagine that. 

[1FinickyOne]

8 hours ago, fruitman said:

I see Tom couple's everywhere and also some friends of my wife are. Well most Tom's can't get a bf i'm sure, just look at them. And the dee's have been disappointed by men i guess.

 

BKK has many of them, i rarely see couple's of gay men on the street/malls.

 

 

 

Well, I am sure that most Toms do not want a boyfriend... and they can be Toms from very early age. Young teen. They seem to know. 

 

And that is an interesting point. I frequently see Toms out in the mall with their arms around their GF but I do not see gay men exchanging affection. 

[fruitman]

8 hours ago, VillageIdiot said:

That may be due to the Fred Flintstone haircuts rather than genetics.

 

They have more hair on their legs than a monkey, also no boobs to be found, an attitude like a rooster and a boyface.

 

Toms also rarely speak english while gays and katoeys can speak it.

[Berkshire]

3 hours ago, BsBs said:

Too many Toms in this country to be just a choice for most of them. It is often related to some "hate" for males.

 

Just as there are too many ladyboys to be caused by a real deep idea of what they think they are. It's also a lifestyle or something that just happened in their lives.

 

 

 

 

Scientifically speaking, Thailand has as many LGBTs as any other country in the world.  It's just that Thai society is much more tolerant than most that they are more out in the open. 

 

People don't just "turn gay."  Do you think that you can "turn gay" if something traumatic happened in your life?

[geronimo]

The main reason is the completely unacceptable behaviour of the Thai male population.

[Berkshire]

7 minutes ago, geronimo said:

The main reason is the completely unacceptable behaviour of the Thai male population.

 

So using your logic, if you were living somewhere that had no desirable females (or none will have you), what would you do?  Switch to men? 

Edited November 30, 2016 by Berkshire

[geronimo]

1 minute ago, Berkshire said:

 

So using your logic, if you were living somewhere that had no desirable females (or none will have you), what would you do?  Switch to men? 

If I wanted a partner, yes.

[Berkshire]

Just now, geronimo said:

If I wanted a partner, yes.

 

Seriously?  Appreciate your honesty.  So you do have some gay in you.  I could never do that....not that there's anything wrong with that.

[geronimo]

Just now, Berkshire said:

 

Seriously?  Appreciate your honesty.  So you do have some gay in you.  I could never do that....not that there's anything wrong with that.

I tried it once and didn't like it.

[Berkshire]

5 minutes ago, geronimo said:

I tried it once and didn't like it.

 

I wonder if some Dee's are like that.  Many western women concede later in life that they would have experimented more as a young girl with other young girls if society wasn't so rigid. 

[geronimo]

1 minute ago, Berkshire said:

 

I wonder if some Dee's are like that.  Many western women concede later in life that they would have experimented more as a young girl with other young girls if society wasn't so rigid. 

I think for the Thai girls who turn, it isn't so much sexual preference, more like they want a stable partner who can contribute something.

[nausea]

39 minutes ago, Berkshire said:

 

I wonder if some Dee's are like that.  Many western women concede later in life that they would have experimented more as a young girl with other young girls if society wasn't so rigid. 

Indeed, a recent study, by a Dr. Rieger of Sussex University, suggested most women are bisexual or gay, even if they outwardly profess to be straight. It measured subliminal responses (pupil dilation, etc.) to sexual stimuli (videos of naked men and women).  Dr. Rieger said: "Even though the majority of women identify as straight, our research clearly demonstrates that when it comes to what turns them on, they are either bisexual or gay, but never straight." The sample size was 345.

[YeahSiam]

9 hours ago, Berkshire said:

 

Ah, I see.  I'm not sure if the term "Tom" originated from the American term "Tomboy."  A Tomboy is not necessarily a lesbian, but rather a female who likes to participate in "man stuff," i.e., sports, wear man clothes, not into make-up, that sort of thing.  Tomboys can grow up to be incredibly hot later in life. 

 

This is true. I had a fairly lengthy (for me) relationship with an ex-tom.

She "treated" me to an exhibition with a very attractive girl she'd asked me to select while we were at a Thai club in Thonglor.

This wasn't your typical display since the tom does all the "work" but then again, I've never been one of those guys who gets turned on by two women going at it.

 

I think many otherwise straight women go with toms because they get all the pleasure - except the obvious - without having to do anything sexual in return.

[fruitman]

Money talks in Thailand, most Tom's are rich enough to attract the Thai dee's and get what they want.

 

I know a Tom couple and the dee says she wants a farang if they ever split up, a farang man that is. Not that she's good in english or so but just for the money and security/manners.

[daveAustin]

I'd be less worried about wife running off with a tom than some dodgy, typically abusive, molly-coddled, spoiled brat and damaged for life, philandering Thai male. 

[cheechee]

13 hours ago, Lamkyong said:

 Tom and his GF    are you sure  you understand the meaning of tom ??

Tom short for THOMAS.

[YeahSiam]

31 minutes ago, daveAustin said:

I'd be less worried about wife running off with a tom than some dodgy, typically abusive, molly-coddled, spoiled brat and damaged for life, philandering Thai male. 

 

Yeah because there aren't plenty of Western males like that in Thailand, are there?

[Berkshire]

1 hour ago, daveAustin said:

I'd be less worried about wife running off with a tom than some dodgy, typically abusive, molly-coddled, spoiled brat and damaged for life, philandering Thai male. 

 

So you're more worried that your wife will run off with "some dodgy, typically abusive, molly-coddled, spoiled brat and damaged for life, philandering Thai male."  Sounds like she'll settle for most anything.

[CodyB]

3 hours ago, Berkshire said:

 

Scientifically speaking, Thailand has as many LGBTs as any other country in the world.  It's just that Thai society is much more tolerant than most that they are more out in the open. 

 

People don't just "turn gay."  Do you think that you can "turn gay" if something traumatic happened in your life?

 

I'm not saying that isn't genetic and that isn't a choice, however, certain studies have shown that homosexuals are far more likely to have been sexually molested compared to heterosexuals. In the case of males it was like a 7:1 ratio and females 22:1.  Source

Edited November 30, 2016 by CodyB
adding source for data

[Thaiwrath]

2 hours ago, YeahSiam said:

 

This is true. I had a fairly lengthy (for me) relationship with an ex-tom.

She "treated" me to an exhibition with a very attractive girl she'd asked me to select while we were at a Thai club in Thonglor.

This wasn't your typical display since the tom does all the "work" but then again, I've never been one of those guys who gets turned on by two women going at it.

 

I think many otherwise straight women go with toms because they get all the pleasure - except the obvious - without having to do anything sexual in return.

 

You are correct in the tom does all the work, and in the straight girl getting all the pleasure.

So, what's in it for the tom ? As I have stated before, it is the control.

All well and good whilst the relationship is going smooth, but if the dee decides she wants out of it,

the threats of violence to the dee, and her family appear,

I know quite a few who have been threatened (dees, I will have nothing to do with the other lot), and it is scary, and not very nice, all because of losing face again ! 

[thaibeachlovers]

I don't know, but I've never seen a Tom with an ugly GF. Most are DDG.

[YeahSiam]

I think it represents the best of both worlds for a dee.

The belief that another woman will understand them emotionally and sexually better than any man will.

 

[Berkshire]

1 hour ago, CodyB said:

 

I'm not saying that isn't genetic and that isn't a choice, however, certain studies have shown that homosexuals are far more likely to have been sexually molested compared to heterosexuals. In the case of males it was like a 7:1 ratio and females 22:1.  Source

 

Hmmm, not sure if that would necessarily be a cause and effect sort of thing.  According to that source you cited, 46% of gay men were sexually molested (pretty darn high, wonder if any gay men out there can substantiate).  But nevertheless, does that mean that the molestation "caused" them to be gay?  For example, if your premise is correct, then you'd expect some of those footballers in the UK who got molested as a child (recent news) to become gay....?  As for the ones who were molested but did not become gay, why not? 

 

I don't think it works that way. 

[Berkshire]

1 hour ago, thaibeachlovers said:

I don't know, but I've never seen a Tom with an ugly GF. Most are DDG.

 

I'd agree.  That's because Tom's understand women better than any guy.  So they can land the hotties even when it's against societal norms...albeit temporarily most of the time. 

 

What's interesting is when I see older lesbian couples in Thailand, they tend to be two Tom's. 

[SteveB2]

While we're on the subject... Why are so many super pretty, hyper cute, sugar sweet Thai girls drawn towards Toms?. It's becoming quite tiring having to fight off tatoo-armed Toms late at night after bar-fining a cutey 

 

[dotpoom]

19 hours ago, lostinisaan said:

 

   You should be very worried because your wife seems to be in love with  at least one. But that unrealistic, once in the scene, she's known for certain techniques she enjoys.

 

      Sexuality isn't anymore as it was when your grandfather married his wife. 

 

           Why else would they visit your wife?

 

           Please take your tinted sunglasses off and face reality. Too old, can't do what she'd like to have, too small, gone after 3 seconds, etc..

 

          Your questions should have been vice versa. Why do  tons of toms turn to married wives like yours?

All the reasons you give why she would turn to a Tom don't make sense...if that were the case why would she not just turn to a younger man.

   You also say he should be very worried...Why?....if my wife fancied a Tom I'd say.... "fire away" (might even encourage it)!

[55Jay]

Not sure this Google search link will work, but there is some light reading out there on Toms.

 

https://www.google.co.th/search?q=thai+tom+lez&client=firefox-b&biw=960&bih=481&source=lnms&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjrjZ7D_s_QAhVFNo8KHZrACHUQ_AUIBygA&dpr=1.33