Do You Complain..

[fourbaht]

Ok you can all flame me if you want but this is a question, not a complaint in its self.

I would like to ask every one these questions:

After having been here a while (6 months or more) do you find yourself complaining more and more about most things Thai?

Did you complain in the same manner in your home country?

Are the things that you complain about now the same things that made you think of Thailand as a care free place? Are they the things that actually made you feel that you wanted to move here?

If this is the case have you wondered why?

Is it because your circumstances, money, marital, commitments, etc have changed since the day you first landed, smiled and said this is the place for me?

I see many posters who have to have a dig and a moan about Thailand with almost every post, some are just down right rude about their hosts (you know who you are ).

[Jai Dee]

I see many posters who have to have a dig and a moan about Thailand with almost every post, some are just down right rude about their hosts (you know who you are ).

I see a lot of posters who praise the Thais and their way of life.

Is your glass half empty or half full?

I think it depends a lot on your own outlook... complaining is one thing, but what's the point?

Do you feel any better for having vented?

Can you change anything by venting?

Are you willing to accept the things that you cannot change for what they are, and adapt yourself to the situation?

These things will help you have a much happier existence in a country in which you mean nothing.

Just my 2 satang...

[fourbaht]

I see many posters who have to have a dig and a moan about Thailand with almost every post, some are just down right rude about their hosts (you know who you are ).

I see a lot of posters who praise the Thais and their way of life.

Is your glass half empty or half full?

I think it depends a lot on your own outlook... complaining is one thing, but what's the point?

Do you feel any better for having vented?

Can you change anything by venting?

Are you willing to accept the things that you cannot change for what they are, and adapt yourself to the situation?

These things will help you have a much happier existence in a country in which you mean nothing.

Just my 2 satang...

Jai dee, I also see lots of posters who praise Thailand, and I am not really having a go at anyone for complaining however I don't think there is a need to be rude or derogatory when doing so.

I am genuinely asking because I want to know how people feel and how they feel they have changed, and what has made them change their point of view.

[JacknDanny]

I see many posters who have to have a dig and a moan about Thailand with almost every post, some are just down right rude about their hosts (you know who you are ).

I see a lot of posters who praise the Thais and their way of life.

Is your glass half empty or half full?

I think it depends a lot on your own outlook... complaining is one thing, but what's the point?

Do you feel any better for having vented?

Can you change anything by venting?

Are you willing to accept the things that you cannot change for what they are, and adapt yourself to the situation?

These things will help you have a much happier existence in a country in which you mean nothing.

Just my 2 satang...

Jai dee, I also see lots of posters who praise Thailand, and I am not really having a go at anyone for complaining however I don't think there is a need to be rude or derogatory when doing so.

I am genuinely asking because I want to know how people feel and how they feel they have changed, and what has made them change their point of view.

I knew somebody who had been in Thailand for many years. He said to me "There will come a time when the things that you fell in love with in Thailand, become things you hate"

Although I wouldnt use the word hate, I can see what he meant. Things that were originally nice or funny different, now become boring or frustrating.

On the other hand it is my choice I am here I would not swop it for anywhere else.

If I ever need a reality check, then I may go to Cambodia for a couple of days and on return realise how lucky I am to be here in Thaialand

[Ulysses G.]

I complain much more in my home country, but my complaints there have no focus - More like life is a bitch and then you die.

Here, I can blame everything on the lovely, little Thai people who are so different from the big, aggresive, rude, ungainly white folks where I come from.

[Kerryd]

After having been here a while (6 months or more) do you find yourself complaining more and more about most things Thai?

Did you complain in the same manner in your home country?

Not really. The things worth complaining about (i.e. corruption, city maintenance, double-pricing, baht buses) aren't going to change anytime soon. I mostly hang out with my Thai friends and as they don't seem to complain about too much, either do I.

I also don't like to complain too much because I realise that, unless I become a full-fledged citizen of Thailand, I am just a guest there. Doesn't matter what visa I'm on, I'm not a Thai national.

In my home country, I can find lots to complain about and have firmer ground to stand on when I do.

Like complaining about which ever political party is currently in power. I've voted in the elections and therefore have the right to bitch about how my elected representatives are using the power I (in part) granted them.

I'm not a Thai citizen, and can't vote (obviously), so I don't really have any right to complain about the Thai government or their policies.

People that are living in Thailand and paying taxes could (should) have a leg to stand on when complaining about certain matters (bearing in mind the possible consequences, no matter how righteous your complaint is).

Some people need to keep it in mind that they are not still living in their home country, and that choosing to live in a foreign country usually means you have to play by their rules and adapt to their culture, if you want to "fit in".

[Little Black Duck]

Four Baht...I think you are right on the mark here..

I posted my feelings about the service I get from my M/Cycle repair/Service shop..

Sure you get the odd clown who bags you but the most of the responses were positive

Doesn't matter where you live you will find something that annoys you..

I've been here 13 years and from time to time things get to me but on the whole

I've never been better off..

[Jai Dee]

On the subject of complaining, my (Thai) wife has recently adopted some of my methodology when dealing with... shall we say... less than standard or expected service...

She complains...

And usually gets the service that she wants.

She never used to do that... just accept whatever was done (or not done).

Is that a good thing?

[COBBER]

I think the longer you stay here the more you devalop a "mai pen rai " attitude and have a better understanding of why some things are the way they are.

There are many things that you might have put in the "not quite right" category at first, that you see improving all of the time.

[COBBER]

On the subject of complaining, my (Thai) wife has recently adopted some of my methodology when dealing with... shall we say... less than standard or expected service...

She complains...

And usually gets the service that she wants.

She never used to do that... just accept whatever was done (or not done).

Is that a good thing?

Yes it is. As long as your expectations are reasonable and you go about it in a polite manner.

A few months back the water in our moo baan was off for the weekend and everybody was out of water and complaining untill a thai lady (who had previously lived in the U.S) phoned the water company and politely asked if it was posible to turn the water back on. To all of the thais amazement the water was immediately turned on.

[suiging]

A lot of complaints seem to be from people who demand to have the same rights and privileges they enjoy at home from a country in which they are a guest.

I would hazard a guess that these same complainers in their own country, are the first to demand that all immigrants should be kicked, out and that their countries way, is the only way and if new settlers don't like it, they should be deported.

If LOS was the same as my country ( UK ) in every ( any ? ) way, I certainly wouldn't want to retire here. It's the difference that makes it special and I am not ( well hope not ) as arrogant as to believe that everything should change to suit my every whim. Those that feel that way will never be happy no matter where they are.

[PhilHarries]

I am kind of laid back when it comes to complaining, let's take a visit to a restaurant as an example.

If the food is bad, i.e. off, I'll call the waiter/waitress over and point it out. If the food is replaced without fuss I am satisifed, no complaint and usual tip. If a big fuss is made and tempers start to get frayed I'll put my hands up, say ok no problem leave it, I'll leave the food, pay the bill and no tip. I'll never go back to that place and make sure I tell all my friends.

If the wrong food is brought, I just ask myself "is it an acceptable alternative?" If yes I get on and eat it. If no, I point out the mistake and follow the same modus operandi as with the bad food.

(btw I have had wrong food served here in KL and the Malaysians generally speak better English than the Thai's and I still use the same M.O.)

If the service is slack I just note it down as not a place to got to when in a hurry unless it is slack to the point of being ignored. If the service is downright surly I merely pay the bill, no tip and tell my friends.

If a mistake is made on the bill I point it out, only if it's significant - a few Baht here or there is not going to break the bank. If it is resolved amicably I pay the bill and leave a generous tip usually about what I would have been overcharged. If it is not resolved amicably I pay the bill smiling all the time, leave no tip and never go back.

I know a restaurant is a simplified example but it's one we encounter more often than any other. Dealing with businesses, service industries or local government is a different ball game but just try dealing with the UK equivalents and you'll get a reality check all right! Rushmore Council and NTL are my current bete noirs (I think that's the right term) with respect to my mother's estate.

Anyway as farangs in LOS we are best avoiding making complaints and subcontract the subject to a local cultural attache. We can then get back to howling at the moon which serves as much purpose as us doing the complaining but makes us feel a bit better.

[Jai Dee]

We can then get back to howling at the moon which serves as much purpose as us doing the complaining but makes us feel a bit better.

[alexth]

On the subject of complaining, my (Thai) wife has recently adopted some of my methodology when dealing with... shall we say... less than standard or expected service...

She complains...

And usually gets the service that she wants.

She never used to do that... just accept whatever was done (or not done).

Is that a good thing?

I am in the process with my girlfriend too. It's strange though, thais make a big deal out of losing face, but where I come from, having a goods/service provider not doing his job in a satisfactory manner, you, as a customer, loose face, you just can't afford being BS-ed, not much financially as moraly. I look at my girlfriend and I'm going nuts when I see her giving them the same smile all the time, same money and same treatment everytime one of the buggers makes a charity out of his job.

[Jai Dee]

I look at my girlfriend and I'm going nuts when I see her giving them the same smile all the time, same money and same treatment everytime one of the buggers makes a charity out of his job.

I keep reminding my missus that my money is her money...

[Rimmer]

I look at my girlfriend and I'm going nuts when I see her giving them the same smile all the time, same money and same treatment everytime one of the buggers makes a charity out of his job.

I keep reminding my missus that my money is her money...

Yep I do that with money, I believe this approach is essential to building a relationship and she really takes it to heart and becomes kinyow when buying anything new.

She has also taken on the roll of Clerk of works on our house project and the may the good Lord help anyone who does not do the way she (we) want it done.

But at the end of the day even Paradise is not perfect

[patsfangr]

On the subject of complaining, my (Thai) wife has recently adopted some of my methodology when dealing with... shall we say... less than standard or expected service...

She complains...

And usually gets the service that she wants.

She never used to do that... just accept whatever was done (or not done).

Is that a good thing?

Yes it is. As long as your expectations are reasonable and you go about it in a polite manner.

A few months back the water in our moo baan was off for the weekend and everybody was out of water and complaining untill a thai lady (who had previously lived in the U.S) phoned the water company and politely asked if it was posible to turn the water back on. To all of the thais amazement the water was immediately turned on.

I, too, have tried to convince my wife that some "polite complaining" is often necessary to get action here. In my home country we have a saying: "The squeeky wheel gets the grease." It is even more true in Thailand. You simply have to speak up, with appropriate respect and tone, or you, your order, etc., will simply wait in an interminable stack of things to be done.

As for the general subject. I am, alas, a "spoiled American". I am having a difficult time, after 7 months here, adjusting to the constant frustration of the infrastructure inadequacies. I am 63 years old, and have never had to live with horrible road conditions, unreliable electric service, occassional losses of water supply, inability to get a land line phone, incredibly slow and unreliable internet service, and other such regularly occuring deprivation of "routine" necessities and conveniences.

I also suffer from an impatient, intolerant, and aggressive driving nature, which is a carry over from the USA. Since that was a problem for me there, I need not elaborate on how difficult it is for me to control here!

I am, however, working VERY hard to make "jai yen yen" a part of my every breath. I am having only mild success thus far, but I am making some progress. I keep reminding myself of some of the points made here by others: I came here by choice, fully aware that this is NOT the USA. I fully understand my status as a "guest", not a citizen; since I wish that MY country learn to grant less rights, privileges, and free money to non-citizens. I sincerely enjoy the general lifestyle, and the courtesy and attitude of the vast majority of the Thai people.

All of those factors make me regret my every "knee jerk" reaction to the frustrations noted above. In truth, when I reflect upon it all, the only thing that causes me serious delay and inconvenience on a continuous basis is the lack of a speedy internet connection. Everything else is either infrequent, or truly inconsequential.

Long live the King, and all of his loyal subjects!

George

[CRUNCHER]

God grant me the courage to change the things I can,

The serenity to accept those I cannot,

and the wisdom to know the difference.

This applies where ever you are in the world and Thailand is no exception.

I understand where FourBaht is coming from. There is a world of difference between speaking up about something you are unhappy about and the attitude o some people who seem to think everything in Thailand should change to suit them because it is the way thing are done in their own country.

[tropo]

If I ever need a reality check, then I may go to Cambodia for a couple of days and on return realise how lucky I am to be here in Thaialand

Interesting you should say that. I've just spent a week in Cambodia (Phnom Penh and Siem Reap) and had a great time, loved the country and the friendly people. I even considered it to be a good alternative to Thailand as a place to live if the new visa regulations bite too hard.

The LOS label should be transferred immediately because the really know how to make tourists feel welcome. I even had a good laugh with the Immigration guys at Phnom Penh airport.

Cambodians have had a lot to cry about over the years, but now they smile.

Edited December 6, 2006 by tropo

[fourbaht]

Maybe they have been reading your TV posts and were laughing rather than smiling.

[Tammi]

If I ever need a reality check, then I may go to Cambodia for a couple of days and on return realise how lucky I am to be here in Thaialand

Interesting you should say that. I've just spent a week in Cambodia (Phnom Penh and Siem Reap) and had a great time, loved the country and the friendly people. I even considered it to be a good alternative to Thailand as a place to live if the new visa regulations bite too hard.

The LOS label should be transferred immediately because the really know how to make tourists feel welcome. I even had a good laugh with the Immigration guys at Phnom Penh airport.

Cambodians have had a lot to cry about over the years, but now they smile.

I agree

[Tammi]

I also suffer from an impatient, intolerant, and aggressive driving nature, which is a carry over from the USA. Since that was a problem for me there, I need not elaborate on how difficult it is for me to control here!

I am, however, working VERY hard to make "jai yen yen" a part of my every breath. I am having only mild success thus far, but I am making some progress. I keep reminding myself of some of the points made here by others: I came here by choice, fully aware that this is NOT the USA. I fully understand my status as a "guest", not a citizen; since I wish that MY country learn to grant less rights, privileges, and free money to non-citizens. I sincerely enjoy the general lifestyle, and the courtesy and attitude of the vast majority of the Thai people.

All of those factors make me regret my every "knee jerk" reaction to the frustrations noted above. In truth, when I reflect upon it all, the only thing that causes me serious delay and inconvenience on a continuous basis is the lack of a speedy internet connection. Everything else is either infrequent, or truly inconsequential.

Long live the King, and all of his loyal subjects!

George

A very good post!

A wise man advised that one should wear a ring with the inscription "This, too, will pass" and that whatever happens, before you label it good or bad, to touch the ring and read the inscription. That way, you will always be at peace. (From the book "A New Earth" by Eckhart Tolle)

[tropo]

Maybe they have been reading your TV posts and were laughing rather than smiling.

One way to get you older regular (stale) posters pissed is to tout any other country as having anything at all over Thailand. Ok, you win, Thailand is the BEST!

Edited December 7, 2006 by tropo

[bmanly]

The only thing I complain about is a warm beer.

Us Aussies can't stand a warm beer

[Little Black Duck]

The only thing I complain about is a warm beer.

Us Aussies can't stand a warm beer

Mate after you've been here a while you'll start

drinking the warm beer with ice like the Thais do..

[Little Black Duck]

Maybe they have been reading your TV posts and were laughing rather than smiling.

Four Baht..Have to ask Was that comment Really necessary ??

The poster is entitled to an opinion after all you ask the question..

[bmanly]

The only thing I complain about is a warm beer.

Us Aussies can't stand a warm beer

Mate after you've been here a while you'll start

drinking the warm beer with ice like the Thais do..

Yeah I do that when I have too but if only they would stop turning those fridges off overnight until 4PM next day then that would solve the problem. Poor dears if only they knew that cranking up a fridge full of warm beer at 4PM would consume more energy than running it all night maybe that would change their minds. Tirak, beer mai yen tam mai? "Loom purd too yen", mai pen rai, sai nam kang nit noi .....

Translated, " Darling the beer is not cold why? "Forgot to turn on the fridge" never mind just put in a bit of ice, all with a smile. I love it actually, it's fun.

[fourbaht]

Maybe they have been reading your TV posts and were laughing rather than smiling.

Four Baht..Have to ask Was that comment Really necessary ??

The poster is entitled to an opinion after all you ask the question..

It was meant light heartedly.. but they probably would laugh if they could read them.

I agree however Cambodia has a lot of potential as a future resting place.

I go to PP often and you are right they do smile a lot more, but its probably novelty value actually, Thai people most likely used to until they got a belly full of Pattaya Farrangs.

[Little Black Duck]

Maybe they have been reading your TV posts and were laughing rather than smiling.

Four Baht..Have to ask Was that comment Really necessary ??

The poster is entitled to an opinion after all you ask the question..

It was meant light heartedly.. but they probably would laugh if they could read them.

I agree however Cambodia has a lot of potential as a future resting place.

I go to PP often and you are right they do smile a lot more, but its probably novelty value actually, Thai people most likely used to until they got a belly full of Pattaya Farrangs.

Thank you Four Baht 10 out of 10 nice to know you really are a nice person..

[CRUNCHER]

The only thing I complain about is a warm beer.

Us Aussies can't stand a warm beer

Even as a Brit I am full of sympathy with your view (some POHMs are civilized). But which is worse - warm beer or no beer?

There is nothing so drab and nothing so dreer

as to stand at the bar of a pub with no beer.