What age gap is acceptable?

[steven100]

1 minute ago, brewsterbudgen said:

She's most likely just giving it for a short-time. An equitable exchange but not really relevant for this thread.

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' giving it for a short - time '   ??   what is it .... ?   cleaning his room  ?  cooking  ?

[Minnie the Minx]

I can't agree with the naysayers here. You've either had a rough end of the stick or you're not getting it, or you are simply a jaded, old stereotypical what happens in Thailand so sorry no time for you.

 

There are many happy stories of strong, lasting and loving relationships but people tend to focus on the misery in the world and the downside, so no can do on that, wallow and judge. It is always about what is she or he getting out of it, what is the agenda you name it, no worries. Happy people look down on comments like those.

[Minnie the Minx]

Another time in Pattaya an elderly gent was in 7/11 with a young teenager, same rubbish he's a dirty old something, the kid was his son, asked me to help them with buying a SIM card as I was with some Thai friends. I mean come on.

[brewsterbudgen]

' giving it for a short - time '   ??   what is it .... ?   cleaning his room  ?  cooking  ?

All of that, if that's what he wants. After all, the customer is always right. But this thread is not about short-time relationships where any age gap is immaterial.

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[elgenon]

Are you asking permission?????? Just go for what you want. If you are both happy why care about the judgment of others? They are probably not as happy because they spend their time judging others. Live well and lets others be.

 

I was told by family members and others not to do many things that I have done in my life. And having done them, I am happier. To paraphrase the Japanese: the nail sticking up gets hammered. Expect it and don't give a twiddle.

[RowdyAlpha]

Just because some things are legal doesn't make it morally right.

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[mogandave]

There is a twenty year difference in age between my self and my Thai wife. We have being maried for over 10 years, and have a solid relationship. I am fer best friend, and she is mine , always go  and do things together. we depend and each other. 
I am not saying all this to brag, but to make the following point against a big age difference.The marrying a younger girl wears out quick, and then you are left with  the realities of the situation.. 
One reality that distresses me greatly is that I will die a lot sooner than her, living her to take care of her self at a relative young age ,but too old to re-marry. 
There is a lot more to be said about that, but suffice to make the above  basic point.
IMO, it was a very selfish  thing for me to do,If I had to do it all over again, I would do it differently.
  

You could always configure your finances such that she is taken care of when you die.

20 years is much smaller gap when one is 60 than when one is 35

[jeab1980]

1 hour ago, steven100 said:

I've seen  old farangs in Pattaya with big bellies and smelly and they have a 19 yr old girl with them.

So the girl must be giving something for the farang to give money ??

Get a life there are serious relationships and nightly course i love you long time now give me the cash type relationships. Of course shes giving something and hes giving 2 to 3k for that something. Ps how do you know hes smelly is that a presumption

[transam]

1 hour ago, steven100 said:

I've seen  old farangs in Pattaya with big bellies and smelly and they have a 19 yr old girl with them.

So the girl must be giving something for the farang to give money ??

So your the farang bloke going round smelling arm pits eh...

[mogandave]

So your the farang bloke going round smelling arm pits eh...

Arm pits is the best case scenario...

[mogandave]

It's a good bet it's cheap, smelly thin guys whining about the fat guys with young gals.


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[billd766]

On 28/04/2017 at 11:52 PM, 55Jay said:

I've always thought the man being 4 to 5 years older than the wife was about right.   But that's what my Dad and Mom were = my formative impression.  

 

My Thai wife is just about 4 years younger ~ 3 years 8 months TBE.  I have a few mates here about the same, but also some who are 20-25 years senior to their wives.

 

I am 21 years older than my Thai wife. My Dad was born in 1889 and my Mum in 1904, a 15 year difference when they married in 1924 in the UK, nearly a century ago. I never thought anything about it when I was a kid.

 

Looking at the age differences in many older farangs and younger Thais here I think that they were trendsetters and ahead of their time.

[transam]

2 minutes ago, billd766 said:

 

I am 21 years older than my Thai wife. My Dad was born in 1889 and my Mum in 1904, a 15 year difference when they married in 1924 in the UK, nearly a century ago. I never thought anything about it when I was a kid.

 

Looking at the age differences in many older farangs and younger Thais here I think that they were trendsetters and ahead of their time.

Nooooo, just chemistry......

 

My mum remarried a bloke 20 years younger....My ex UK wife was 17 years younger than me, together 25 years......I really liked the "honeymoon" years...

[elgordo38]

On 4/29/2017 at 0:46 PM, Cyclone88 said:

Same here. 63 years old and wife 31. Been married 8 years with 2 young children. 

Couldn't ask for a better wife and kiddies couldn't ask for a better mother.

 

Saying that, I did have a few relationships previously with girls at lot younger than me which didn't have a hope in he'll of working.

 

Age dosent matter. The hardest thing is find the right one. That goes for both sides. 

Yes of course your last statement is correct. The tough part is that both male and female have different "lookin for a mate" tape measures. One in inches and the other in centimeters. 

[billd766]

On 29/04/2017 at 0:37 PM, elgordo38 said:

Great answer PM this guy and get the 15. 

 

Color me exception. 

 

And me.

 

17 years married last Friday and our son will be 13 in August. He is as tall as his Mum already.

[billd766]

On 29/04/2017 at 3:20 PM, overherebc said:

My Mazda BT50 is cheap to run as as well.

 

But does it bring you a drink or give you a cuddle and tell you that it loves you?

 

My 12 year old son does.

[billd766]

On 29/04/2017 at 7:08 PM, bazza73 said:

On the other hand, it's going to be tough for a 70 year old to provide a male role model for a child when they hit their teens, having fathered the child in their fifties/sixties. That's selfish too.

No easy answer to that problem.

 

It wasn't a problem for me and my Dad who was 55 when I was born in 1944. I didn't think he was selfish then no more than my 12 year old (soon to be 13) son here in Thailand thinks I am selfish.

 

Perhaps he might have done if I had done a runner just before or after he was born, but I didn't.

[billd766]

On 29/04/2017 at 8:40 PM, bazza73 said:

Yes, I can just see a 70 yo out there with his teenage son playing baseball football hockey etc.

 

And that is your sole reason for condemning oldies?

 

There are far more important things that can be done with children than playing sport. You can help them prepare for real life for starters.

 

What percentage of men or women are successful enough to earn enough money in sports as a percentage of the world population compared to those who actually work for a living.

[billd766]

4 hours ago, Minnie the Minx said:

It's a bit of a silly assumption that every sixty year old or older man with a younger woman is a gf. It could be his daughter, niece, you never know. 

 

Was in a Pattaya restaurant years ago and an elderly gent was with a couple of stunning girls. He wasn't wearing a wife beater or looked like the yeah old usual er 'tourist' anyway the foreign women next to my table were saying how disgusting and horrible it is to see rah, rah lol I was embarassed as I am sure they heard this.

 

 Anyway the elderly gent was looking our way and one of young lasses got up and asked me to take a pic of her, her sister and dad. ( before the smartphones)

 

These silly women simply assuming there was a dirty old guy sitting next to them.

 

On the flipside, in Sydney in Coles some old bag asked me if my kids were adopted in the checkout, my boys were little guys back then. Hubby had a nice retort which I won't post here.

 

Never make assumptions or racist comments. 

 

Many years ago I used to live in BKK near Sukhumvit and quite often I would go for a walk with my friends 5 year old daughter holding my hand. All the dirty looks and nasty comments came from farang tourists. If the Thai took any notice it was to smile at us both. I admit to winding the farangs up by telling the truth, that she wasn't really my daughter but that I had just "borrowed" her for a while. That really used to upset them.

[richard_smith237]

11 minutes ago, billd766 said:

 

And that is your sole reason for condemning oldies?

 

There are far more important things that can be done with children than playing sport. You can help them prepare for real life for starters.

 

What percentage of men or women are successful enough to earn enough money in sports as a percentage of the world population compared to those who actually work for a living.

 

A somewhat valid point is made... at 42 years old (with a 3 year old son), I feel I have less energy than I did at 32 years old - Such that at 50 years Old when my Son is 11,  I may no longer feel the 'urge' to get up and swim with my son, to play football with him, to take him to so many places, camping in the UK etc... my Son may miss out a little on 'Dad-Activities' because I am older...  I have to be conscious of this, remain active and mentally committed to doing activities with my child... perhaps push myself a little where as if I were younger these activities may come more naturally. 

 

Everyone is different and have different energy levels, I feel the age argument and lack energy as we get older is a valid point in this thread. As you point out, its not the be all and end all... Parenting involves many skills, but all other things being equal - I myself would have more energy for my Son if I were 10 years younger. 

 

I remember playing football and cricket with my father - these memories are special, I'd like to give my son similar experiences....  At 70 years old, this would not be possible. 

 

 

 

[overherebc]

13 minutes ago, richard_smith237 said:

 

A somewhat valid point is made... at 42 years old (with a 3 year old son), I feel I have less energy than I did at 32 years old - Such that at 50 years Old when my Son is 11,  I may no longer feel the 'urge' to get up and swim with my son, to play football with him, to take him to so many places, camping in the UK etc... my Son may miss out a little on 'Dad-Activities' because I am older...  I have to be conscious of this, remain active and mentally committed to doing activities with my child... perhaps push myself a little where as if I were younger these activities may come more naturally. 

 

Everyone is different and have different energy levels, I feel the age argument and lack energy as we get older is a valid point in this thread. As you point out, its not the be all and end all... Parenting involves many skills, but all other things being equal - I myself would have more energy for my Son if I were 10 years younger. 

 

I remember playing football and cricket with my father - these memories are special, I'd like to give my son similar experiences....  At 70 years old, this would not be possible. 

 

 

 

In all honesty at 50 unless you're smoking 40 a day and driking 10 pints you should still be reasonably fit.???

[transam]

7 minutes ago, richard_smith237 said:

 

A somewhat valid point is made... at 42 years old (with a 3 year old son), I feel I have less energy than I did at 32 years old - Such that at 50 years Old when my Son is 11,  I may no longer feel the 'urge' to get up and swim with my son, to play football with him, to take him to so many places, camping in the UK etc... my Son may miss out a little on 'Dad-Activities' because I am older...  I have to be conscious of this, remain active and mentally committed to doing activities with my child... perhaps push myself a little where as if I were younger these activities may come more naturally. 

 

Everyone is different and have different energy levels, I feel the age argument and lack energy as we get older is a valid point in this thread. As you point out, its not the be all and end all... Parenting involves many skills, but all other things being equal - I myself would have more energy for my Son if I were 10 years younger. 

 

I remember playing football and cricket with my father - these memories are special, I'd like to give my son similar experiences....  At 70 years old, this would not be possible. 

 

 

 

We are all different, I am heading for the end of my seventh decade but go to the gym 3 times a week to lift weights.....Our 21 year old lad will NOT come to the gym with me.....He knows the old boy will trounce him even though he is taller than me......It makes me smile.though....I have had Thai blokes at our house laugh and offer me out in arm wrestling, they went home not happy.....Great fun........

[overherebc]

1 hour ago, billd766 said:

 

But does it bring you a drink or give you a cuddle and tell you that it loves you?

 

My 12 year old son does.

German Shepherd does.

??

[Crossy]

2 minutes ago, overherebc said:

German Shepherd does.

??

 

Brings you a drink?

[55Jay]

1 hour ago, billd766 said:

 

I am 21 years older than my Thai wife. My Dad was born in 1889 and my Mum in 1904, a 15 year difference when they married in 1924 in the UK, nearly a century ago. I never thought anything about it when I was a kid.

 

Looking at the age differences in many older farangs and younger Thais here I think that they were trendsetters and ahead of their time.

Maybe.... my impression was based on what I saw growing up and what I was told was "normal".  

 

I am not phased or surprised when I see an older man with a younger wife here.  With a few exceptions,  most of my mates and acquaintances here are 60~65+, and have younger wives, but none of them are REALLY young, like in their 20s.  Youngest I think is about to touch 40, most others early/mid 40s.  That's the new "normal" for me here, don't give it a second thought. 

 

[mogandave]

I have a lot more to offer my teenage son at (almost) 60 than I ever would have had at 30.

Oh, and how about kids, a wife and a dog?


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[overherebc]

1 hour ago, overherebc said:

German Shepherd does.

??

Wife used to give her the can and she'd bring it to me. Now she's old she doesn't want to do much more than sit around, after she cracked her hip which wasn't diagnosed until much later she's not keen on doing a lot.

You did have to have a towel to wipe the slobbers off before opening it though. ???

[Foexie]

since when is there an age on love ???

 

As long you feel good about it just go for it.

[richard_smith237]

3 hours ago, transam said:

We are all different, I am heading for the end of my seventh decade but go to the gym 3 times a week to lift weights.....Our 21 year old lad will NOT come to the gym with me.....He knows the old boy will trounce him even though he is taller than me......It makes me smile.though....I have had Thai blokes at our house laugh and offer me out in arm wrestling, they went home not happy.....Great fun........

 

I think a lot of the issue is about attitudes... ours in discussion, and those who we discuss... 

... when discussing older men with younger girls and kids in tow we tend to picture a wrung out old wrinkly sap talking broken Pidgin English dragging around a poor little unwanted child...  I have seen this, but it is far from the norm... 

 

In genuine, loving, caring and mutually respectful relationships there are no boundaries...  anything is ok...  

 

 

Edited May 1, 2017 by richard_smith237

[inzman]

This post is nuts, so I should adhere to others beliefs? Bullshit. My wife's age is only my business and nobody else opinion matters. I am in charge of my life!