Confused abit about a thai girl.

[ThailandLOS]

15 hours ago, Nerdling said:

But when we talk about me going to take a vacction to her she talks about what we can do plus she wants me to go see her mom and dad and rest of her family too

1) If she wants you to meet her parents it means she has her mind set on marrying you. Thread carefully here - if you're not ready to commit and decide to back out at some point it will be a major face loss for her and her family.

 

2) Ask her for some childhood pictures and compare, just saying....

[Elkski]

But how on Earth did you cull all the dating site prospects down to one?   

To need to meet more than one.   Don't fall in love before smells, touches, kisses.

I guess some you can't retire here's is thinking about moving to your country.  She knows a below average life there is better than what she has now. 

 

No rushing into things.  What age is she?   I hope she is about 20.  Might as well take advantage of age.   But to I also s as y why no to get a degreed person with a good job?

[sawadee1947]

15 hours ago, Nerdling said:

will love her and be faithful

what is very important for Thai girls because Thai men like to have a "second" wife somewhere. Listen to your heart, meet her here and appreciate that she wants to introduce her family. Have a good time with her. Who knows the future?

[ToS2014]

there are many books out there to give one some background on the 'games' some Thai ladies play.  I would recommend Private Dancer as it could provide you with some good advice.  Personally, I'm on year 5 w my Thai wife; as with all relationships there are bumps in every road.  Don't rush into anything and if there is/are any hints of spending money I would walk and even run away.  Last tip, I know of numerous Thai ladies that have multiple relationships with foreign men.  They are quite adept at scheduling their time with each of them.

[speckio]

you won't know who she really is until you start spending time together...

everyone puts up a front to try and give a decent impression, hides and puts their craziness in check!

 

The real test is when you do things that annoy her and she finally feels comfortable enough to let her true nature show.

 

In any case good luck. If you think there any chance that you 2 will be happy together and have a future together you should make the trip!

 

Although not sure why you don't just try to meet someone locally instead of fantasizing about someone half way around the globe.

 

[sawadee1947]

3 hours ago, wombat said:

run , run very fast.

 

to where? to the next? And if so, WHY?

[sawadee1947]

7 minutes ago, Elkski said:

But how on Earth did you cull all the dating site prospects down to one?   

To need to meet more than one.   Don't fall in love before smells, touches, kisses.

I guess some you can't retire here's is thinking about moving to your country.  She knows a below average life there is better than what she has now. 

 

No rushing into things.  What age is she?   I hope she is about 20.  Might as well take advantage of age.   But to I also s as y why no to get a degreed person with a good job?

life there is better than what she has now. 

I doubt it. There is poverty everywhere even in Denmark. Or (another country) do you want to live in Chicago South side,? she would better stay in Thailand with 12.000 Baht.

[thaibeachlovers]

15 hours ago, Nerdling said:

Hi Sirineou.

 

Thanks for your reply i did consider that as well. and that would be just the perfect way to <deleted> something up that would have been perfect.

 

And i am really trying look past all the negative stories. because they are also some really good stories out there that shows how faithful and carring thai girls can be.

 

I used to think like you, but now I know Thai women are no more faithful and caring than their western sisters. I would never have married a western woman twice, but it's a pity I didn't just leave it at one failed marriage, and think a Thai woman would be different, because she was Thai.

Had I not done so, I'd be happier and probably a lot better off financially.

 

If you choose to wear the saffron glasses, few things to ask-

Does she expect sud sai

does she want to live anywhere near her family

does she expect you to live in the village

does she expect to move to your country

does she expect to have children with you

does she expect you to support her family

does she expect you to build her a house, buy a car/ m,bike

does she expect you to support her in a business?

If yes to any of the above, be cautious.

 

From your OP I can't tell if you have ever met her in person. If you haven't and she wants you to meet the parents I'd run.

Would you go to meet the parents of a girl in Denmark that you hadn't even gone out with once?

 

 

[thaibeachlovers]

28 minutes ago, speckio said:

you won't know who she really is until you start spending time together...

everyone puts up a front to try and give a decent impression, hides and puts their craziness in check!

 

The real test is when you do things that annoy her and she finally feels comfortable enough to let her true nature show.

 

In any case good luck. If you think there any chance that you 2 will be happy together and have a future together you should make the trip!

 

Although not sure why you don't just try to meet someone locally instead of fantasizing about someone half way around the globe.

 

why you don't just try to meet someone locally

 

Having tried someone "locally", I would NEVER get involved with a woman in my country again. Have you never wondered why so many men look abroad for a partner?

[thaibeachlovers]

3 hours ago, SOUTHERNSTAR said:

As a rule never think of a permanent relationship (marriage) during the first 3 years of knowing a person. If after 3 years you are still together then you can start to think about permanent arrangements. Most of the people getting into trouble got too serious too fast. If she is fake it should show within 3 years and if she is true that should also show. 

I knew my ex a year before I moved to Thailand and we lived together a year before getting married, but it was still the long con. The plan was always to get me to move to the village and support her and her family.

[YetAnother]

16 hours ago, Nerdling said:

My problem is that i read so many bad topics about thai girls being fake all the way to the bone.

many of them are true; not mine (thank god); date her for a year minimum, then you can see the real her and , very , very importantly, her family

[thaibeachlovers]

2 hours ago, bra said:

Most of the negative comments about Thai girls on Thai Visa are from men who have made a mistake in relationships and don't admit  this even to themselves. So they blame someone else who is the girl in this case - ego defence 101.

 

My recommendation is to meet her and her family, and if you get on with them and her wait for a few years - don't rush in to marriage until you are about 90% sure about it. Use your good judgement. I waited 10 years to get married to my Thai wife as she was so young when we first met and I wanted to be  sure about her and me - I had one failed marriage (my fault) and did not want to have another one.

 

But while you are thinking of yourself please be equally concerned for her. You may look like emotional and financial salvation to her and she may not have had a real loving relationship with a man before. So don't break her heart and if you do not wish to continue with her break it off as soon as you know this - don't drag it out.

 

 

I admit it was my fault for getting married at all. Should have known better.

[The Dark Lord]

54 minutes ago, Kadilo said:

The usual wild unfounded stats flying around about failures etc. So many bitter and twisted "victims" You undoubtedly need to go in with your eyes wide open just as you would with any female you meet on the Internet anywhere in the world.
You don't lead a checklist around whether she has kids, a brother living at home (<deleted>!) leave these for the saddos. What you do need is common sense and to be streetwise and experience life here as it is for the majority.


Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect

All very good but take into consideration that the OP will be coming out here with absolutely zero understanding of how things work here. Does he know, for example, that he can never own a house but can buy one? Does he know , again for example, that if he gets hitched he will be well down the pecking order in terms of importance ( family first) she already has two nippers so be wary there as he will end up with the cost of schooling etc if he gets hitched and they are not even his! Does he know that he will find it virtually impossible to tell an indigenous how to do anything? Does he realise that for a great many Thais, they are brought up believing they are the chosen race and the foreigner is pretty much a means to an end ( financially), does he have any idea how difficult it will be for him to actually reside here full time ( at his age) if that is the plan ( which I doubt)? Does he know what she will be doing whilst he is back in Denmark for the majority of the year? Does he know that if he has a simple chat with someone else, they cannot wait to tell his girl that they chatted and may even spice it up a bit to create problems between the ZoP and his girl. 

 

Too many  traps,  traps which require an experienced hand to navigate through if genuine happiness is the required result. A wet behind the ears newbie out here is like a lamb to the slaughter. Of course he could be lucky but ask yourself why was she on an internet dating site ( assumption on my behalf, apologies if incorrect) ?

 

By all means come out, test the water and keep your pocket closed, brain fully functional and eyes wide open if you do not wish to be another sad statistic. 

 

Yes i I was with my lady for eight years before marrying her and we have had fantastic times together but we have also had some dreadful times. Jealousy is a major part of a lot of the ladies here, jealousy built on lack of confidence, lack of understanding and far too much of the inane Cannel 3 TV soaps. 

 

My advice, if he wishes to listen, is be very very careful and be careful what you tell her as well. 

 

It is is not easy my friend and in my 17 years I have heard of far more failures than successes. It is sad but true. 

 

Good luck though, give it a shot. What could you lose?

[The Dark Lord]

1 hour ago, Kadilo said:

The usual wild unfounded stats flying around about failures etc. So many bitter and twisted "victims" You undoubtedly need to go in with your eyes wide open just as you would with any female you meet on the Internet anywhere in the world.
You don't lead a checklist around whether she has kids, a brother living at home (<deleted>!) leave these for the saddos. What you do need is common sense and to be streetwise and experience life here as it is for the majority.


Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect

And there obviously speaks the voice of experience! Yeah!

[The Dark Lord]

12 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

I admit it was my fault for getting married at all. Should have known better.

OP, See here,  a very honest post admitting own responsibility. We are not sadoes as one highly experienced poster referred unto us as, we are ones who have made serious errors of judgement and paid the price. 

Edited July 17, 2017 by The Dark Lord

[thaibeachlovers]

3 hours ago, Minnehaha said:

At 31, and it sounds like your salary is not, shall we say, enough to make you independently wealthy in the next 20 years or so ... 

My suggestion 

Go to Thailand. Spend the money and go. Do not be honest with her about the dates - add in a week or 2 before you see her. And bring some dosh with you. 

Look for a wealthy, educated Thai woman of the same age or maybe bit older ... say 34 or 35. Women are at their sexual peak at about this age. (We know men are at theirs at about 18). And I emphasize meeting as many as possible during this time. No need to do 4 or 5 a day but try to meet at least 5 or 6. Try to do things with them including the obvious - eating, sleeping, and films. Try traveling a bit with them if you see it is appealing. I also emphasize looking for women who are financially well off. The richer the better, in general, although one needs to be careful about making such generalizations. 

 

It is easier to deal with a woman who has her own money ... it is usually easier to see motives. Your post seems to be primarily concerned about this issue. 

I would add that life is easier when you have a pile of money. 

Hmmmmm. So your relationship advice is to start by lying to the intended and to sleep with a woman ( ?several women ) that is not a hooker but is willing to jump into bed with a guy on the first date BEFORE going to meet the intended.

 

add in a week or 2 before you see her.................No need to do 4 or 5 a day but try to meet at least 5 or 6.

So that's one every day if only a week, but they're not hookers.

Perhaps one could enlighten him where to find these independently wealthy Thai women at their sexual peak that are just waiting to jump into bed with him, even though he has never been to Thailand before, because there is zero chance he knows.

 

[thaibeachlovers]

5 minutes ago, The Dark Lord said:

And there obviously speaks the voice of experience! Yeah!

and how does one become "streetwise" at 31? Someone that age knows sweet FA.

[The Dark Lord]

4 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

and how does one become "streetwise" at 31? Someone that age knows sweet FA.

Indeed beachy old chum, I was however referring to the poster who made the generalisation about those who, for whatever reason, have been through or are in a failed relationship but who has posted little more than 150 posts indicating relative newness to certainly TVF and possibly LoS. 

[Bundooman]

1 hour ago, Kabula said:

Go with the flow, but keep your heart guarded.

 

Ask her if she has any close girl friends.  If the answer is no....big red flag.

 

Ask her if she has any friends?  If the answer is no...bigger red flag.

 

Ask her how she gets along with her family?  If she says she doesn't; ask why?

 

Ask her if she was ignored as a child, and abused mentally or sexually by family members?

 

Ask her if she is dating anyone and if so, for how long?  

 

Ask her if she is bi-sexual?

 

Ask her if she is married?

 

 Ask her if she  has ever been diagnosed with HIV or syphilis?

 

Ask her how her family is doing financially and if they expect you to pay money and if so how much monthly?

 

Ask her if she is  pregnant and if she wants children?

 

If she refuses to answer your questions...RUN

 

Ask her what can she contribute to your relationship!

 

If you feel like  you are pushed into a cul-de-sac and feel more pain than normal  from intentional sabotage ......RUN!

 

 If she is beautiful and always doing selfie's and looking in the mirror she's probably a narcissist.   If she tells you she's not a good person, and makes odd statements, admits to being ignored, taking cell calls and running, and tells you she feels nothing without getting cash, she could very well be a covert narcissist with absolutely no soul.  A very dangerous creature.

 

Ask the  hard questions few do and be the first to bail if she is causing you pain and sleepless nights.

 

Hey, the backup rental is always available 24 hours!

 

Good luck!!

 

 

And just, exactly, how would all that work? They've never met. When they do - they are most likely to be shy, reserved and cautious.

Now is just the time to make your position clear and sort out a few doubts twirling around inside your head - just so you know what you are letting yourself in for.

 

She:   "Hi. Great to meet you at last".

You:   "Me too. lovely to meet you, you look great"!

She:   Did you have a good flight"?

You:   Yes. couldn't wait to meet you".

She:   Well, what would you like to do first? (shyly). Go for coffee? Get a taxi? Or...."

You:   "Oh. Don't let's hurry. Plenty of time for all that. Let's get to know each other first".

She:   "Oh. OK".

You:  Do you have any friends, close girlfriends? Are you dating anyone and are they bi-sexual? Have you got HIV by any chance, and as we're at it - how much will  your Mum and Dad expect me to fork out on them? You're not pregnant are you and finally, what I really want to know is,.......What will you contribute to this new relationship?

 

She: Go F... yourself!

[worgeordie]

Take a chance,jump in, what have you got to lose,nothing if you keep a tight hold on your money,

do you know about "Sin Sod" yet,but that could be far in the future so don't worry about it just now,  

 

Been together with my wife for 30 years, she looks after me like a god,works hard,and is a saver

not a spender,great mother,some times there's the culture difference ,but that is to be expected.

so good luck in whatever you choose.

regards worgeordie

[jaymbkk]

Seriously tho, the "meeting the family" part should be ahuge red flag. In the Thai culture, you can't introduce all your BFs to your family, and (more importantly) to your many neighbors at home. The one you bring is the one you marry or you "loose your face" as they say.

So would meet with her and see what's up, but stay away from the family trip.

Sent from my SM-G925F using Tapatalk

[Kadilo]

Lol so an "experienced poster " has more life experience than a "newbie" because he spends half of it on here. I bow to your supreme TV posting experience of a whopping 900 posts in a year. You must be so experienced. Get over yourself


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[khunPer]

Hi Nerdling,

I'm also Danish, and I have a Thai girlfriend – we have been together for almost 14 years now.

 

The very first thing I will suggest you, is to buy the book "Thailand Fever" by Chris Pirazzi and Vitada Vasant. It's written in both Thai and English (or German, or Swedish), so you and your date can read about Thai culture and "the Thai way of thinking"; and she can also learn to understand foreigners, and the weird way we foreigners are thinking, as that is as well part of the book. I missed that book, which can prevent a lot os misunderstandings – from both sides – as it was not yet published some 15-years ago; it may even prevent a relationship to be spoiled because cultural misunderstandings. You can buy the book online, and you can read more about it here on ThailandFever.com.

 

Almost all you read and hear about Thai ladies and relationships are true, but you hear more of the horror stories, than the good ones; because the horror-stories sells headlines...

 

And of course, the bad stories also make you aware of numerous pit falls; because there are quite some Gold Diggers out there, waiting for a blue eyed Dane, or other foreigner, to fall in love with them...

 

However, the World is not black-and-white only, there are at least 50 shades of gray in between...

 

A combination of what you feel, and your heart, but still keeping both feet solid planted on the ground and not forgetting common sense, and not rush into promises – always good with a night's sleep before deciding important matters – can make you "survive" the irresistible Thai sirens seduction of blue eyed foreigners.

 

Furthermore you need to be aware of the cultural differences. And now I speak little special Danish style, based upon my own experience, so split your virtual timeline into two, and roll one of them back to the early "Matador"-period (the most popular Danish TV-serie); because Thailand is in many ways like Scandinavia and Denmark was some 75 years ago. But it's also the new millennium with Smart Phones and Social Network, so you need to combine the timelines. When I mention "Matador", is it because of the more old-fashioned view, where the husband (the man) is the provider for the family, or in a relationship, which may normally be expected from a Thai girlfriend or partner – and in general much of that time's value set with a gallant gentleman – and it's not because the partner is a foreigner; to my surprise I see girls' Thai fiancee, future husband to be, bringing his whole salary to his future wife to be, and she will then hand him little pocket money and keep the balance to take care of household, and her family. In that way the future husband shows, that he is able to provide for a family.

 

The money-side is often a way to misunderstanding, especially in the shadow of the horror-stories – and don't forget, the horror-stories are true, and some ladies are various levels Gold Diggers – so it's a question of feeling and balance; what is fair in light of your own old-fashioned traditions; what is fair based on knowledge about the Thai partner; look at it from both sides. And also have in mind, that Thai children have a different obligation to their parents and grandparents than Danish children, where elder folks are taken care of by the society. That's why reading a book like Thailand Fever can make both sides understand the cultural differences, because also the Thai partner need to learn.

 

Going to visit Thai parents is usually interpreted as presenting a future fiancee, and a bit serious matter. If you have any doubts, and you care about the girl, then only agree to visit her mom and dad, if you yourself are serious, and wish to give the relationship a chance. Again the book I mentioned says a lot more about that.

 

It's difficult to compare Thai salaries with Danish Salaries. First you shall think of that income tax is non existing for most Thai people. Then the minimum wage is 300 baht a day – in some provinces little more – and the average buying power of plain Daily needs are a number of times higher than in Denmark; i.e. living traditional Thai-style, not Western food, you can buy 2-3 times as much, or even more like 4-5 times as much, for the equivalent money. Often eggs are used for comparison, as eggs are locally produced and alike all over the World; how much do you pay for 30 big eggs in a Danish supermarket, and how many baht do you pay in Thailand..?

At the moment between 85 and 100 baht for 30 eggs; i.e. one egg is around 3 baht...

 

So a 12,000 baht monthly salary you can almost compare to not that far from 12,000 Danish kroner after income tax, maybe around 10,000 dkk, which equals some 15,000 dkk a month before income tax, so not that far from a Danish minimum wage of around 18,000 dkk a month before income tax. Furthermore you'll see other groups of workers on minimum salary in Thailand, than in Denmark; for example are many building construction workers paid minimum salaries, whilst the lady in the supermarket's cash-line is paid more; in Denmark it's the opposite.

 

Another good book to read to understand the Thai-foreigner relationship, and the money side – that is not that different from Thai-Thai – which is extremely important for most Thais; that book is "Love Entrepreneurs" by Phil Nicks, Monsoon Books, ISBN 978-981-05-9211-0.

 

We are all different – that's why the real life has a lot of gray shades in between black-and-white – so you need to listen a lot to your own feelings, and remember common sense. We learn from mistakes – in my first Thai relationship, the girl was digging more than I could accept, and therefore it didn't last – and even I missed the book to read before my next relationship (Thailand Fever was not published at that time) I managed to find way between the various culture gaps (did get dissatisfied, where I should not), and keep it going for more than 13-years so far. There are lots of good Thai girls – even you may not hear so many stories about them – it's just a questions of finding the right balance and understanding of the cultural mix; finding the best of two Worlds...

Wish you good luck.

[swissie]

3 hours ago, The Dark Lord said:

All very good but take into consideration that the OP will be coming out here with absolutely zero understanding of how things work here. Does he know, for example, that he can never own a house but can buy one? Does he know , again for example, that if he gets hitched he will be well down the pecking order in terms of importance ( family first) she already has two nippers so be wary there as he will end up with the cost of schooling etc if he gets hitched and they are not even his! Does he know that he will find it virtually impossible to tell an indigenous how to do anything? Does he realise that for a great many Thais, they are brought up believing they are the chosen race and the foreigner is pretty much a means to an end ( financially), does he have any idea how difficult it will be for him to actually reside here full time ( at his age) if that is the plan ( which I doubt)? Does he know what she will be doing whilst he is back in Denmark for the majority of the year? Does he know that if he has a simple chat with someone else, they cannot wait to tell his girl that they chatted and may even spice it up a bit to create problems between the ZoP and his girl. 

 

Too many  traps,  traps which require an experienced hand to navigate through if genuine happiness is the required result. A wet behind the ears newbie out here is like a lamb to the slaughter. Of course he could be lucky but ask yourself why was she on an internet dating site ( assumption on my behalf, apologies if incorrect) ?

 

By all means come out, test the water and keep your pocket closed, brain fully functional and eyes wide open if you do not wish to be another sad statistic. 

 

Yes i I was with my lady for eight years before marrying her and we have had fantastic times together but we have also had some dreadful times. Jealousy is a major part of a lot of the ladies here, jealousy built on lack of confidence, lack of understanding and far too much of the inane Cannel 3 TV soaps. 

 

My advice, if he wishes to listen, is be very very careful and be careful what you tell her as well. 

 

It is is not easy my friend and in my 17 years I have heard of far more failures than successes. It is sad but true. 

 

Good luck though, give it a shot. What could you lose?

A good post, that one, indeed. Very comprehensive and right to the point.

As I wrote in another (similar) thread: " If it wasn't for the Thai-Family, the success-rate of Farang/Thai marriages would be far higher".....

- The very fact, that the Lady can't wait to introduce the Farang to the "Family", before she even has met him, is nothing but a big red flag. (especially, since the OP descibes the Thai-Family as "poor".)

REMEDY: OP should disclose to the bride, that his religious convictions (or other) will not allow him to marry anyone until 3 years of courtship have passed. After having conveyed this to the bride and said bride "loses interest" quickly, OP has his answer already.
Cheers.

[donoevil]

Some things I wish I knew before I went down your future path:

 

1. Your name on here! If you have a similar name on the website, it makes you a target. If you are a romantic, or a nice guy, you probably said too much already. The girls here are looking for weakness and tell you those are the traits they admire in a guy, but they are lying the whole time. There is a reason she wants you to meet the parents and yes it is because you are being used. Read about narcissistic relationships, they take a lot of tactics from those types of people.

 

2. The girls that stay here try to find guys from other countries because the foreigners that live here already have already been through this entire process and are less easy targets, or have lost money already. You are going to come here and you are going to be helpless for most everything. Unless you are in certain parts of town, hardly any Thais are even willing to admit they know any English and talk to you. This means even after you spend time with her, you might not know what really went on most of the time and what she said about you in front of your face to other Thai people.

 

3. If you are speaking to her in English and she can understand most of what you say, she probably should be making more than 12,000 / mo. in Bangkok. Also, find out how she got good at English. It is usually an indicator of previous relationships or working in a bar.

 

4. The girls here are pretty tech savy (or know someone who is) and have a lot of free time. Don't underestimate their ability and willingness to manipulate data on a website or act as other people to give you bad advice. If you met her on TF, you might as well give up any hope already.

 

5. The girls here know enough to not ask for money before you get here. They have already tried it before on someone else and it didn't work.

 

!!!!!! Instead of spending time getting lied to and confused and trying to figure out what the truth is from a website, just get a detective here in Bangkok. It might feel somewhat dishonest, but once you find out how many of these girls think, you would feel stupid not to, Every good girl here has known a foreigner that has gotten screwed over bad and I think would not be offended by the research as they know the kind of reputation that Thailand has. If your girl gets offended, it usually mean she has something to hide.!!!!!!!!!

[swissie]

Uhhhh....some posters recommending "go with your "Gut-Feeling".

Not a good idea. The "Gut-Feeling" may not come from the "Gut", but from the "other head", located just below "the Gut".

While the advice from the "other head" may serve it's purpose when it comes to short-term decisions, when it comes to long-term decisions, the head above ones shoulders usually delivers better results.
Cheers.

[theguyfromanotherforum]

What is this stuff about meeting family right away?

Sorry, but Thai girls will usually take a sweet long time before you meet mom and dad.

Sent from my Lenovo A7020a48 using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

[titanio82]

Nerdling, you cannot predict the future. 8 years ago I met a lovely 34 years old Bachelors educated girl in a proper bar where she was just by occasion as her friend was the manager. To make a long story short, 8 years went on perfectly with me visiting her for about 70 days a year and daily LINE contact. Already in the beginning I told her that we both should run our own household but that I would financially support her in case of emergencies. And I did that, besides the lumpsums I left her on every trip. Not to speak about the gifts, trips all around Asia luxury hotels and one trip to my home country in Europe. We talked about marriage too, often. But I only wanted that when I could reside in Bangkok. Even when she was aware of a substancial asset value and a monthly spendable amount of 200K Baht, she recently asked me for an all in of 4 million Baht in her bankaccount to marry her, to secure her future... (and possibly walk on to the next within a years time). You will never understand the logic of a Thai woman. She could have had an easy life without any money issues. What did she do, and I found out, she was dating an Australian Facebook friend for over 7 months and thought he would marry her sooner. But she was not so lucky when she found out that that guy was divorced, had a major cut in his pensions and not willing to pay any high sin sod. Now she is crying for getting me back. I only told her to land on her feet, wipe the dollar signs from your eyes, realize that nobody signs blank cheques and make a fresh start without any financial expectations, but not with me. Stupid <deleted>! 

[George FmplesdaCosteedback]

22 hours ago, sirineou said:

Don't let all the stories get you paranoid. , if you ask for "signs"  then that's all you will see.

 trust your instincts.

I remember when I was dating my now Thai wife for many many years , and some of the paranoia resulting from all the negativity in this and other forums.

Thank god I did not let it wreck our relationship. She is the best thing that happen to me I could not be happier.

One in a million...

[hanuman2543]

8 hours ago, Kabula said:

Go with the flow, but keep your heart guarded.

 

Ask her if she has any close girl friends.  If the answer is no....big red flag.

 

Ask her if she has any friends?  If the answer is no...bigger red flag.

 

Ask her how she gets along with her family?  If she says she doesn't; ask why?

 

Ask her if she was ignored as a child, and abused mentally or sexually by family members?

 

Ask her if she is dating anyone and if so, for how long?  

 

Ask her if she is bi-sexual?

 

Ask her if she is married?

 

 Ask her if she  has ever been diagnosed with HIV or syphilis?

 

Ask her how her family is doing financially and if they expect you to pay money and if so how much monthly?

 

Ask her if she is  pregnant and if she wants children?

 

If she refuses to answer your questions...RUN

 

Ask her what can she contribute to your relationship!

 

If you feel like  you are pushed into a cul-de-sac and feel more pain than normal  from intentional sabotage ......RUN!

 

 If she is beautiful and always doing selfie's and looking in the mirror she's probably a narcissist.   If she tells you she's not a good person, and makes odd statements, admits to being ignored, taking cell calls and running, and tells you she feels nothing without getting cash, she could very well be a covert narcissist with absolutely no soul.  A very dangerous creature.

 

Ask the  hard questions few do and be the first to bail if she is causing you pain and sleepless nights.

 

Hey, the backup rental is always available 24 hours!

 

Good luck!!

 

 

Your knowledge about Thai behaviour, character  and culture is virtually  non existent. Following your advice is the safest way to turn her away. Where have you acquired such a wealth of knowledge ? Some of your questions would guarantee a very violent answer from every Thai woman, including the ones working at Nana Plaza, Soi  Cowboy etc.