I have to attend the funeral of a close family friend. I know that money is expected to change hands, but have no feeling for how much, to whom and when it should be paid. Any advice?

My experience has been the principal mourner accepts the envelope, sealed with an amount you are comfortable with usually 1000 baht, given at the crematorium is acceptable although I believe it can be given beforehand 

15 minutes ago, JohnC said:

My experience has been the principal mourner accepts the envelope, sealed with an amount you are comfortable with usually 1000 baht, given at the crematorium is acceptable although I believe it can be given beforehand 

Good advice

Thank you for that, but I understand there should also be something for the monks, and something to pay for the wake? I also went to one where I was asked for ฿100 to help pay for the charcoal - even though it was a gas-fired crematorium?

Thank you for that, but I understand there should also be something for the monks, and something to pay for the wake? I also went to one where I was asked for ฿100 to help pay for the charcoal - even though it was a gas-fired crematorium?

The monks would be using the charcoal for a bbq later, with a few beers etc.

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Just now, Grusa said:

Thank you for that, but I understand there should also be something for the monks, and something to pay for the wake? I also went to one where I was asked for ฿100 to help pay for the charcoal - even though it was a gas-fired crematorium?

The family or survivor of the deceased takes care of those extra considerations. One thousand baht in one envelope is all you need to do.

1 hour ago, roo860 said:

 

The monks would be using the charcoal for a bbq later, with a few beers etc.

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Sshhhh...

Don't tell anyone.

The family pay the cremation costs and the monks.

Here in our village there is an insurance type scheme. Where every house pays 400bht this is given the day after the death to head man who gives it to the family of the deceased. Then on the last day of Mourning/(cooking food for village). When you go to the house you take a small bag of rice and if you wish (and everybody does) give money to the family this gift is noted and then the head man or family elder reads out the names of people who have donated and how much. No white envelopes and no money to monks. Having been through this within the last week cremation cost here is 1k. Monks for the full period  4 monks 5k a piece. Food ect drinks ect 80k.all covered by the village insurance and donations

Edited August 14, 20178 yr by jeab1980

Any thoughts of organs donation before your body becomes ashes.

13 minutes ago, nasanews said:

Any thoughts of organs donation before your body becomes ashes.

No none they burn with me.

I ARRANGED A FUNERAL 3 YEARS AGO. THE FUNERAL DIRECTOR GAVE ME A PRICE 40,000 BAHT. THAT COVERED EVERYTHING, PAYING THE BRITISH EMBASSY, AUTOPSY, TRANSLATION OF DEATH CERTIFICATE ETC. THREE PEOPLE OF MY CHOICE WERE GIVEN WHITE ENVELOPES TO GIVE TO THE MONKS AT A WAI WAVING THING BEFORE THE CREMATION.

20 minutes ago, Roger Harris said:

I ARRANGED A FUNERAL 3 YEARS AGO. THE FUNERAL DIRECTOR GAVE ME A PRICE 40,000 BAHT. THAT COVERED EVERYTHING, PAYING THE BRITISH EMBASSY, AUTOPSY, TRANSLATION OF DEATH CERTIFICATE ETC. THREE PEOPLE OF MY CHOICE WERE GIVEN WHITE ENVELOPES TO GIVE TO THE MONKS AT A WAI WAVING THING BEFORE THE CREMATION.

Yes thats for a farang this is about normal thai cremation and who to give money to

Edited August 15, 20178 yr by jeab1980

I NEVER SAW HOW MUCH MONEY WAS IN THE ENVELOPE, FUNERAL PEOPLE PUT IN MONEY AND SEALED THE ENVELOPES. VERY WELL DONE FUNERAL AT A CHEAP COST

2 minutes ago, Roger Harris said:

I NEVER SAW HOW MUCH MONEY WAS IN THE ENVELOPE, FUNERAL PEOPLE PUT IN MONEY AND SEALED THE ENVELOPES. VERY WELL DONE FUNERAL AT A CHEAP COST

Can you stop shouting please? Capital letters suggest shouting . Slightly confused are you writing from the hear after or was it for someone else?

Edited August 15, 20178 yr by jeab1980

Normally 1,000 baht in a blank envelope which will be collected on a plate by a close relative ( principal mourner ) 

11 hours ago, nasanews said:

Any thoughts of organs donation before your body becomes ashes.

no ....  they won't accept mine .. they said all my organs were pickled

In this case the guy was 86 and died of multiple organ failure following weeks in coma and several ill-advised resuscitations. I doubt anyone would be grateful for what's left over. A welcome release for all concerned.

In Central Thailand and Bangkok, you give an white envelop with your name on, to  you your friend when you arriive. Thw amount that you put in  the envelop depends on your social status  and relationship with  the deceased or his faniliy. It can be  100 Baht or 10 000 Baht. Normaly its between 100 and 500 Baht.

 

Your gift is written down  in a register, so when you die that famili  will put at least that amount in return.

The amount would maybe depend on the location of the funeral and your association with the deceased. Its basically family friends and neighbors chipping in for the funeral costs, you donate when you attend a funeral and others donate when you are paying for a funeral.

In a rural village all the costs are less and people would donate less money etc, often the donation may be helping to provide food etc.

 

My wife's mother passed away a couple of years ago and monks, food, transport, casket and flowers etc was around 50k and the donations ended up around the same amount.

In the mother in-laws case, even the neighbors she had been feuding with for years dropped off an envelope.

 

Its a great system, almost a form of insurance. 

Not a Thai? If it IS a requirement someone involved with the family will tell you.

Just turn up.

 

Why do farangs

a/ always overthink stuff like this.

b/ always assume it involves giving other people money.

 

Unless the OP speaks Thai, be prepared to be extremely bored. I attended the MIL cremation, but my wife told me to only turn up on the last day- good thinking.

It's depend on location and relationship. BKK usually donate 1,000 baht other provinces maybe 400 or more.

 

55 minutes ago, steven100 said:

Normally 1,000 baht in a blank envelope which will be collected on a plate by a close relative ( principal mourner ) 

Your name should be on the envelope. You may even be given one with your name written on it to use for the donation. They keep a book for mourners to write in, and to list the donors and donations.

5 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Not a Thai? If it IS a requirement someone involved with the family will tell you.

Just turn up.

 

Why do farangs

a/ always overthink stuff like this.

b/ always assume it involves giving other people money.

 

Unless the OP speaks Thai, be prepared to be extremely bored. I attended the MIL cremation, but my wife told me to only turn up on the last day- good thinking.

Totally agree. My mrs goes as with most women in village goes to help cook ect. I go round every day for half an hour usually about 1800 just after the monks have gone. We are  asked a lot if we could do the daily market run at 0200 for the food for the day. I have no problems with that a bit of time and bit of fuel. Its always appreciated.

On 8/14/2017 at 8:06 AM, nasanews said:

Any thoughts of organs donation before your body becomes ashes.

Thais don't like used stuff.

20 years in Thailand, living with even 2 different Thai families - managed, never to have to go to a funeral 

or marriage party  -  

 

Several baiting and bickering posts and replies to them have been removed. Time to end it or formal warnings will given.

Ubonjoe, your intervention is welcome, your warning most definitely heeded.  

On 8/14/2017 at 8:43 PM, TaveewatLim said:

It's depend on location and relationship. BKK usually donate 1,000 baht other provinces maybe 400 or more.

 

....and depending on one's status and financial situation.

Ubonjoe, your intervention is welcome, your warning most definitely heeded.  

When I go I've said I want ABBA at volume ten, not those horrible dirges they play.  Dancing queen; ok, it's a bit gay but it's fun, then some reggae, hip hop, celebrate my life with a disco. I'm happy with that.