Need advice about divorcing a Thai who is playing hard ball

[catman20]

8 hours ago, Chpied said:

Divorce and child custody are separate


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wouldn't want either of the problems good luck with that mate. next time stay single and keep life simple.

[Destiny1990]

Stop buying her plane tickets.

[tomwct]

Meet Lady who told you your a  handsome man. Return to UK and send her money. Come back get pregnant move her into Mom's

house! Sorry for your problems, but looks like you created all of them. Cancel her UK Visa. Close all bank accounts and reopen

in your name only! Forget son and file for divorce on abandonment and next time don't marry until you can afford a wife and child.

I would never move a new wife to live with my parents. Not good for them and not good for you! How old are you? Add ten years

before you try marriage again. Pay Noooooooooooo money! Just forget this part of your life and get some Maturity!

[MikeyIdea]

12 hours ago, Chpied said:

Also don't talk bad to your son about his mum, if it does go to court and it gets nasty, they have specialist that extract this information from children, my sister went through a real shitty divorce, it opened my eyes right up

That is a good comment. There is even statistics supporting that children who couldn't have both their parents gets closer to the parent they weren't allowed to have, if they were fed what they themselves saw was incorrect information when they finally got contact.  

 

This is what the Thai's so well call somm nann naa

[MikeyIdea]

12 hours ago, Chpied said:

I had a an agreement the ex with the children signed dated, it meant nothing in the end, they do take it into consideration, but any good solicitor will get around that.
I wish it was that easy for you just to pay for her to disappear, but your crazy if you go down that track with sound legal advice.
 

Juvenile law is about the best for the child so ANY agreement, court or outside, is re-evaluated according to current circumstances.  

 

-- I wish it was that easy for you just to pay for her to disappear, but your crazy if you go down that track with sound legal advice.

Another good comment, yes, must go to court. It needs to be done in England as it is the habitual residence of the child 

[MikeyIdea]

11 hours ago, JusticeFT96 said:

Thanks, I think I will try and just get the divorce out of her first then pursue the custody option through the proper channels to make sure that is water tight. 

That cannot be done in Thailand. Custody arrangement must be confirmed when divorce here. Perhaps it can in England, I don't know

 

Someone suggested let her do the divorce: That can only work to the benefit of the mother. She can apply for divorce in Thailand, it will not be mutual so it will have to be in court (abandonment 3 years). Court must confirm custody and if child is in England and father is not present, guess what, they order sole custody to the mother.

 

If that court order pre-dates what the father has (in England) and mother pursues it (there are several organisations that offer free help for this kind of case), authorities will put the child on a plane to Thailand. Big no-no

[MikeyIdea]

10 hours ago, KBsinter said:

You sound very gullible,if you think having custody issued by a  UK  court and return to 

Thailand with him, think hard you will probably lose him,be careful the justice system

here is not as Europe.................do not trust her, or the system.....good luck. 

A UK court will follow a pre-dated Thai Family and Juvenile court order, a Thai court will do the same

 

The UK court order must be registered in Thailand before it is valid here = must go through the court process here too = common sense 

 

A Thai court and Thai police will of course follow Thai law = the mother has shared custody and the right to veto the child leaving Thailand until a Thai court orders according to the pre-dated UK court order. Also common sense

 

-- think hard you will probably lose him,be careful the justice system

here is not as Europe.................

True, unlike Europe, there is no bias against fathers or foreigners here. Thai courts take custody decisions in the best interest of the child, unlike European courts where the mother by Christian belief is favoured - This does not have to mean that the child can leave Thailand

 

Just follow the process and you are safe, don't and you shouldn't be safe

[MikeyIdea]

10 hours ago, ThaiWai said:

I can remember at least to 2 stories in the past year where parents put ropes around there kids neck or hung them outright in this country to punish the other parent.  If he thinks the story ends after the divorce and custody is final he is kidding himself.

Agree, some stories don't end. Carrying a copy of a Thai court order showing sole custody to the farang parent will ensure the support of authorities if the Thai parent commits criminal offences. A UK court order, translated or not, is best used as toilet paper of course

[thaibeachlovers]

1 hour ago, tomwct said:

Meet Lady who told you your a  handsome man. Return to UK and send her money. Come back get pregnant move her into Mom's

house! Sorry for your problems, but looks like you created all of them. Cancel her UK Visa. Close all bank accounts and reopen

in your name only! Forget son and file for divorce on abandonment and next time don't marry until you can afford a wife and child.

I would never move a new wife to live with my parents. Not good for them and not good for you! How old are you? Add ten years

before you try marriage again. Pay Noooooooooooo money! Just forget this part of your life and get some Maturity!

 

No need to be so harsh. The child does exist, and people can't just walk away and forget.

[JusticeFT96]

Sorry yes, I was planning to move to Thailand once divorce and custody was resolved never before that.

 

Is she able to get a divorce without me there? I would need to go and sign for it wouldn't I?

[MikeyIdea]

27 minutes ago, JusticeFT96 said:

Sorry yes, I was planning to move to Thailand once divorce and custody was resolved never before that.

 

Is she able to get a divorce without me there? I would need to go and sign for it wouldn't I?

Yes, she can divorce you without you in Thailand but

1) It will have to be in court

2) Divorce can only be granted citing legally allowed reasons, the normal one is abandonment more than 3 years, another one is desertion more than one year but that's hardly going to work in your case

3) Court must specify custody => You are taking a big risk

 

There is no reason why court shouldn't give the mother sole custody if she says that the child is in England and you refuse to bring him here. That would be the standard response

 

Second option is you coming to Thailand to sign the divorce. Note that you two must still cite one of the legal reasons or it will be refused. Custody must still be specified and both court and amphur will inform the mother of the consequences of sole custody and ask if that is really what she wants. Again: => You are taking a big risk

 

You should clear this in England. There is a Thai saying that matches this scenario perfectly

It's difficult to lose a little but easy to lose a lot. It is likely to be much cheaper in England in the long run

Section 1516. Grounds of action for divorce are as follows:

(1)	the husband has given maintenance to or honored such other woman as his wife, or the wife has committed adultery, the other spouse may enter a claim for divorce;
(2)	one spouse is guilty of misconduct, notwithstanding whether such misconduct is a criminal offence or not, if it causes the other:
	(a)	to be seriously ashamed;
	(b)	to be insulted of hated or account of continuance of being husband or wife of the spouse having committed the misconduct; or
	(c)	to sustain excessive injury or trouble where the condition, position and cohabitation as husband and wife are taken into consideration; the latter may enter a claim for divorce;
(3)	one spouse has caused serious harm or torture to the body or mind of the other, or has seriously insulted the other or his or her ascendants, the latter may enter a claim for divorce;
(4)	one spouse has deserted the other for more than one year, the latter may enter a claim for divorce;
	(4/1)	one spouse had been sentenced by a final judgment of the Court and has been imprisoned for more than one year in the offence committed without any participation, consent or in the knowledge of the other, and the cohabitation as husband and wife will cause the other party sustain excessive injury or trouble, the latter may enter a claim for divorce;
	(4/2)	The husband and wife voluntarily live separately because of being unable to cohabit peacefully for more than three years, or live separately for more than three years by the order of the Court, either spouse may enter a claim for divorce;
(5)	one spouse has been adjudged to have disappeared, or as left his or her domicile or residence for more than three years and being uncertain whether he or she is living or dead;
(6)	one spouse has failed to give proper maintenance and support to the other, or committed acts seriously adverse to the relationship of husband and wife to such an extent that the other has been in excessive trouble where the condition, position and cohabitation as husband and wife are taking into consideration, the latter may enter a claim for divorce;
(7)	one spouse has been an insane person for more than three years continuously and such insanity is hardly curable so that the continuance of marriage cannot be expected, the other may enter a claim for divorce;
(8)	one spouse has broken a bond of good behavior executed by him or her, the other spouse may enter a claim for divorce;
(9)	one spouse is suffering from a communicable and dangerous disease which is incurable and may cause injury to the other, the latter may file a claim for divorce;
(10)	one spouse has a physical disadvantage so as to be permanently unable to cohabit as husband and wife, the other may enter a claim for divorce.

[Been there done that]

Mother of your child has proven to be not a good parent.

 

In Thailand it is stacked against you.

 

Follow the advices of some members; do not go back with the child to Thailand.

 

If you expect reciprocity on whatever level, it aint there.

 

Think only about your child.

[JusticeFT96]

Divorce will be finalised on the 27th or 29th of this month. She has signed the agreement with my lawyer it states that we will divorce and that I will have full custody of our son. I will be flying over later this month and we will be going to the ampur I think it is to both sign it. Took the advice off someone on here saying to keep calm and not to argue that has helped a lot. 

 

I know I made the obvious mistakes I knew when it was happening and I know now, my problem is I always try to please everyone when in reality I cannot. I thought I was doing the best for my son having a mother around when really I should have just got rid and moved on a lot sooner it would have been less stressful on the both me and my son. Luckily he is very resilient and is carrying on with his life very well. 

 

Thank you for the advice on here, I was expecting the obvious snipers, I have seen it constantly over the years on here so there is nothing new there. 

 

As for the person saying forget about my son.... nah I don't think so I do not abandon my children. I lived in Thailand I was not there on holiday it was not a case of a 2 week holiday and then I am sending her money at all then returning to get pregnant, we got on very well up until we returned to the UK and then the visa separations started to put a strain on the relationship then she totally changed, most likely due to her mother putting bad ideas into her head. But anyways thats all in the past now.

[blackcab]

5 hours ago, JusticeFT96 said:

But anyways thats all in the past now.

 

And make sure it stays that way. Seriously.

[theguyfromanotherforum]

Another thumbs down for marrying a bar girl. Sorry, but no matter how hard you guys try to convince the others that some relationships can be successful the fact of the matter is you married a primitive money grabbing selfish dirty ho.

 

Yes, the custody battles will always happen and sometimes they will be nasty, but most normal girls will at least show some love towards the child. Heck, I know normal Thai couples here who take more care about their dog than a dirty bargirl simply not giving crap about anything but her self.

 

Thumbs up to the op on being honest, though.

[thaibeachlovers]

4 hours ago, theguyfromanotherforum said:

Another thumbs down for marrying a bar girl. Sorry, but no matter how hard you guys try to convince the others that some relationships can be successful the fact of the matter is you married a primitive money grabbing selfish dirty ho.

 

Yes, the custody battles will always happen and sometimes they will be nasty, but most normal girls will at least show some love towards the child. Heck, I know normal Thai couples here who take more care about their dog than a dirty bargirl simply not giving crap about anything but her self.

 

Thumbs up to the op on being honest, though.

Generalizing much, methinks. Some of the nicest women I ever met have been bargirls. That I didn't marry them was more due to me having to stay out of LOS over 10 months a year for work. Whether any of them would have worked out better than the woman I did eventually marry, I'll never know, but I don't generalize about them. The western hag from hell that took me for everything was not a bar girl.

Given that 50 % of western marriages end in divorce, shouldn't you be saying not to marry western women?

[theguyfromanotherforum]

49 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Generalizing much, methinks. Some of the nicest women I ever met have been bargirls.

 

LOL.... they are paid to be nice.

[thaibeachlovers]

On ‎9‎/‎3‎/‎2017 at 6:48 PM, theguyfromanotherforum said:

 

LOL.... they are paid to be nice.

I can't believe that you actually know any bargirls in Thailand. Saying they are paid to be nice is ignorant of reality.

Many bargirls I have known were not nice, but some were indeed the nicest women I ever knew.

[MikeyIdea]

1 minute ago, thaibeachlovers said:

I can't believe that you actually know any bargirls in Thailand. Saying they are paid to be nice is ignorant of reality.

Many bargirls I have known were not nice, but some were indeed the nicest women I ever knew.

And one I know is even the best mother I have ever known, not the mother of my daughter unfortunately

[JusticeFT96]

It all went through fine. Everything signed sealed and delivered. Thanks for all the advice.

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