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Westernized my Thai wife

tstcman

By tstcman
in Family and Children

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tstcman Senior Member

tstcman

Posted
Posted

This may sound silly but when I first got together with her, whatever her father said was law. We live with them now and she bought a cat yesterday even after her father says she couldn't have one in his house and it's causing contention because he says the cat has to go outside and he physically put it outside and she is throwing a fit now. I'm trying to stay out of it on both sides because such a small issue that I don't want to alienate the parents but I don't want to piss my off either. Basically I'm saying I might have westernized her because I treat her as an equal socially financially everything what she's never experienced before. And I don't know if her dad's mad about that because she's never stood up to him like this before. What do you guys think I should do in this situation she's threatening to move us out of here, back into our own place which would be fine so that she can keep the cat but she's the one that dragged us here to begin with to live with her parents.

 

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tstcman Senior Member

tstcman

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Yeah I know, what can you do. Reason I wanted to stay in this house was because I'm paying down a loan for a dowry that I paid when I got married to her and by staying here I'm saving enough money to be able to pay the 10000 Baht a month back on the loan

Sent from my ASUS_T00J using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

onthesoi Apprentice Member

onthesoi

Posted
Posted

You should tell her to grow up and respect the rules of someone elses house.

 

Not sure what the situation has to do with you making her more westernised, I think you might be overestimating your influence here.

colinneil Platinum Member

colinneil

Posted
Posted

You think you have westernised her, sorry you are wrong.

Whatever pa-pa says is law in his home, i have never known a Thai defy their father, as rijb said this is not going to end well.

Jip99 Platinum Member

Jip99

Posted
Posted
Just now, colinneil said:

You think you have westernised her, sorry you are wrong.

Whatever pa-pa says is law in his home, i have never known a Thai defy their father, as rijb said this is not going to end well.

 

It was not going to end well from the moment he moved in.... recipe for disaster in the best of circumstances.... and these are not the best of circumstances.

tstcman Senior Member

tstcman

Posted
  • Author
Posted
2 hours ago, onthesoi said:
Who wears the pants in your relationship?


We both do. But if she does I don't care. I've had such a <deleted>-up life for the past 20 years I'm just happy to be married and in a stable life relationship and place to stay

Sent from my ASUS_T00J using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app
 

Jip99 Platinum Member

Jip99

Posted
Posted

"She is the one that dragged us here...."

 

 

That phrase doesn't bode well either.

 

Did you have a say in the matter or are you as much of a pussy as her pet? ?

tstcman Senior Member

tstcman

Posted
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Posted
 
It was not going to end well from the moment he moved in.... recipe for disaster in the best of circumstances.... and these are not the best of circumstances.

As far as me moving in they're happy with that I help take care of the grandchildren. And I pay a lot of the bills

Sent from my ASUS_T00J using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

tstcman Senior Member

tstcman

Posted
  • Author
Posted
"She is the one that dragged us here...."
 
 
That phrase doesn't bode well either.
 
Did you have a say in the matter or are you as much of a pussy as her pet? ?

She wanted to move back to her parents house for about a year now. I'm the one that reintroduced the idea because we wanted to get married and it made Financial sense to move back in her parents house it's cheaper everything cost less out here and were able to pay back the loan that I took out for the dowry with ease while living with her parents

Sent from my ASUS_T00J using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

meatboy Ruby Member

meatboy

Posted
Posted
30 minutes ago, tstcman said:


She wanted to move back to her parents house for about a year now. I'm the one that reintroduced the idea because we wanted to get married and it made Financial sense to move back in her parents house it's cheaper everything cost less out here and were able to pay back the loan that I took out for the dowry with ease while living with her parents

Sent from my ASUS_T00J using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app
 

if you had to borrow money for the sinsod,it wont be long before your life gets worse.

piersbeckett Senior Member

piersbeckett

Posted
Posted

I believe it does sound silly and I believe you should move back to your own place and no, you haven't Westernized her.

 

There's an old saying here,  'you can take the girl out of the bar but you can't take the bar out of the girl - 'Thainess' can be substituted for 'the bar'.

Moonlover Ruby Member

Moonlover

Posted
Posted
57 minutes ago, tstcman said:

she's threatening to move us out of here, back into our own place which would be fine so that she can keep the cat but she's the one that dragged us here to begin with to live with her parents.

 

I would go along with this personally. In fact, I would never have cooperated with such an arrangement in the first place.

 

I got some advice form a friend here some years back. 'If the family live in the north, go live in the south. If the family live south, go live in the north'!

Andrew Dwyer Ruby Member

Andrew Dwyer

Posted
Posted

I go along with the father in law on this one, it is his house and your wife should respect that. Difficult for you as you're in the middle and you should take care not to piss off either your FIL or your wife as the situation could resolve itself and you take all the blame , " never had family ploblem before farang come here !! "

Sounds like either the cat lives outside or you ( + or - wife ) live outside.

Don't think you have " westernised " her, but if you have you should probably just leave now !!

Psimbo Silver Member

Psimbo

Posted
Posted

A- why would you pay a dowry?   it's supposed to be a gesture, not a financial arrangement. This is a huge con these days unless the parents pay it back with in a year.

 

B- why would you want to 'westernise' a Thai- its part of their charm that they aren't fat and have attitude!

gk10002000 Platinum Member

gk10002000

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, tstcman said:

Yeah I know, what can you do. Reason I wanted to stay in this house was because I'm paying down a loan for a dowry that I paid when I got married to her and by staying here I'm saving enough money to be able to pay the 10000 Baht a month back on the loan

Sent from my ASUS_T00J using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app
 

I understand the Thai customs but, well, you dug the hole. The Dowry thing and all that.  Inlaws can be an issue in any country.  Good luck.  It will be very rare to see the foreigner number 1 in the eyes of the wife.  You are second fiddle

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