OneMoreFarang

How long are you in Thailand? How long do you know about the bar business? Because recruiting good girls and keeping them in bars is not a new problem. That is normal since many years. At least the pretty young girls can go wherever they want, almost any bar will employ them right away.

I don't know what Thai guys think is ugly. I know what some Thai guys think is pretty or sexy and I wouldn't want any of them. One situation which I will never forget is when I was in an office and someone mentioned something like I should talk to Nit about an issue. I told them sorry I forgot the names, who is Nit? The answer was: She is the darkest girl in this office. I still didn't know because I never cared about their skin color. And when I finally found Nit I didn't think she was much darker then the others. After that I told that story to my gf and then later other office girls. And they all confirmed to me that every girl in every office knows exactly the order of white to dark in their office. Like if 10 girls work there you can ask them who is the 3rd whitest and they all know. I think that is crazy but it seems like that's the way it is in Thailand.

About old age and someone caring: Obviously it is nice when the gf/wife does that. But maybe she doesn't have to do it alone. Domestic help is still relative cheap in Thailand. Most of us should be able to afford a part time maid when we need one - even if she is already older and doesn't wear a maid costume. ????

Thais in need go to temples. The monks give them food. And it's warm in Thailand. If I would have no money and no income I would still prefer to survive in Thailand compared to the USA.

Since Covid I don't think they every stopped me. Before that maybe once a month. And then most of the time because I didn't ride on the left side or my gf preferred to leave the helmet at home. Most of the time they had a reason and I don't mind giving them that 100B. Funny enough, my smaller bike, a Suzuki Raider, has an obvious aftermarket exhaust. It's, let's say, a little loud, not extreme. They never stopped me or fined me because of that exhaust.

That depends on love and other motivations - and that might change over time.

I can't imagine there is much entertainment value in watching. I have to admit I watched Brexit, or to be precise the part which happened until now, with amusement. Will they really do that? How bad will it get? Will anybody learn? I still watch from time to time, but it gets boring after a while.

Whatever you do might not make any difference with the police. They want money. If their meter shows X and your meter shows Y do you think they agree that your meter shows the accurate value? I don't know how much money they want from you. In Bangkok I paid over the years 90% of the time 100B for whatever they complained about. Here, take it, have a nice day.

I agree with that. And the good thing is that lots of guys are happy when they have a young wife/gf. And they are happy to take care of her. If they would have an old wife then likely they wouldn't be happy and wouldn't want to take care of that old woman.

Somehow you seem to think all girls are the same. No. Like not all farangs are the same. Some like this, some like that. And if only 10% of student girls like older guys and you have 10,000 students then that is still 1,000 girls who are what many farangs want.

That's what I told my mother when she asked me about my first holiday in Pattaya. Mother, I was shocked! I read about that nice beach resort and that that. Shocking! And I walked around for three weeks to check if there was anywhere a quiet corner. But no, bars everywhere. Shocking! I have to check next year if anything changed.

I am sure it depends a lot on where you live and which places you visit. I.e. I live in lower Sukhumvit in Bangkok. Age gap farang Thai couples are normal in this area. I would be surprised if many people think much about them. The only people who seem to look are the new arriving tourists when the old woman points out to her old husband that old guy with the young girl. Obviously she is disgusted by this view. And obviously he thinks how wonderful life could be with such a girl. ????

I agree that we don't see old Thai men walking hand in hand with their young darling on the street and kissing her every couple of minutes. Instead he drives in a Mercedes with tinted windows with her to the next hotel. You can see lots of old guys and relative young and beautiful Thai woman couples in good restaurants. And most of the time he doesn't look at her as if she is his daughter.

I don't see my younger gf as "lesser than me". We are different in many ways. I can't discuss my computer work with her or international politics and many other topics. But that is no problem at all, because I can discuss that with other people who want to talk about those things. My gf is a great cook, she does the shopping in the fresh market, and she is talented in lots of ways. We spend most of our time together, but we also have friends independent from each other. I don't know what she talks about with her friends but it might include Thai celebrities, soap operas, ghosts, lottery number and all those things which I absolutely don't care about. And I talk with my friends about things which my gf doesn't care about. The situation is just fine as long as we all have friends who fulfil different roles.

Young & handsome? Really? How many Thai girls did that, got pregnant and then he was gone? And maybe they did it again. The problem with young & handsome guys is that they can have lots of girls. And that is not the perfect situation for a long term relationship.

And what about if that university educated girl is small and brown? How high are her chances of finding a Thai guy with similar education who wants a little brown girl? Obviously all that is not fair and all that. But it's reality. So if only the darkest 10% are available for farangs that is still more than enough.

There is this famous sentence: Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere. I think there is a lot of truth about that. It seems many office girls learned how to behave properly. And they did this most of their life. Maybe if they drink they loosen up, but good girls don't drink (a lot). On the other hand most bar girls are way past that stage. They drink and smoke and dance do whatever they want. They live their life.

I think with (almost?) any relationship between two or more Thai people there is often a clear pecking order. Who is in charge, who tells the others what to do, and who listens and does what he/she was told to do. With Thai and Thai people together that is established and it works. That's the way it is. But farang men were told by farang women now for many years that they are all equal. It is not he who makes the decisions, they make the decisions together. And for a farang couple that might work. But if a farang man meets a Thai woman and the Thai woman expects that one of them is in charge and the farang man thinks they should decide together that does (I think almost always) not work. Because when she realizes that he is not in charge and doesn't even want to be in charge then she will take control. And he, being a nice guy, will understand and accept that she should make decisions. The problem is that he thinks she will makes some decisions and he will make some decisions. But it doesn't work like that. When she realizes that she can be in charge then she knows she is in charge and will tell him to shut up and do what she tells him to do. And too many guys realize that too late. Game over. And some guys learn from that. They realize: One of us will be in charge. It's me or her. And if I don't want that she is in charge (alone) then the only way to prevent this is to make sure I am in charge. And if it is established who is in charge then "normal life" can continue, because the ground rules are set. Thai guys have this behavior internalized. They make sure that she never gets the idea that she could be in charge or that she could be an equal. I am sure that explains a lot about Thai relations. P.S.: And if you think you don't want to be the dominant guy in your relationship with your Thai darling then you don't have to wait too long before she will be the dominant person in your relationship.

This thread is full of comments mentioning money in age gap relations. And I am sure money plays a role. But how about same age relationships? How many women of any age would accept a guy who has not at least the amount of money and income which she has? Women from any age group prefer rich guys. I guess some of them understand their position on this pecking order and they accept a guy who is only a little rich. But the principle is the same. So why should a guy choose an old woman when he can get a pretty girl for only a little more?

... and children!

Thanks, I will have a look at that book. From my early days in Thailand I remember there is one universal language: body language ????

Maybe you are the guy. But IMHO there is sex and sex. I didn't have much sex when I was younger. I wasn't Bred Pit or Mick Jagger. I am sure I could have had more sex at that time with some of those available ugly girls and women. I preferred not to go low like that. And now I am happy that I was not so successful with the girls at home when I was 20 or 25. Because if I would have been successful with them then I probably would have lived most of my life back home. Instead I moved to Thailand when I was 30 and had sex with lots of cute and beautiful girls. And then I picked the cutest of them and stayed with her. So much about the downside of not having sex at home when I was young. ????

I have this sort of Parent/Child kind of relationship, obviously with the big difference that we share the same bed. I didn't say you have to choose a stupid girl. I don't think I even had to mention a wet towel to my gf ever. If she is (relative) smart then she will learn all by herself and you can guide her in the more difficult situations. At least for me that worked and still works.

Personally I would definitely prefer a pretty Thai girl without much money. Because that is part of the dynamic of the relationship. I know some people want, or at least pretend, they want equal relationships. You have your career and she has her career and you both make a lot of money, have educated friends, etc. If that is what you want then go for it. Many of us don't want a relationship like that. We don't want a career woman - even if she is hot and wealthy.

Good luck with that. I find it always amazing how many guys move with the wife to her home town/village. And then it's game over.