Shut up! Shut up! Shut up... Please

[canuckamuck]

We went to buy a new gas stove at Thai Watsadu yesterday. I like that store, they usually leave me completely alone, but staff can be found when necessary. However, I guess they have some commissioned folks in there because what happened to me when I got a water heater last year, happened to me again yesterday.

 

We got a guy who could not shut his mouth - fantastically aggravating. I was there with my wife but she got to the stoves before I did. She has this annoying habit of asking staff members stuff. It is my personal rule that you should never engage Thai staff when shopping until you have exhausted every other means of gleaning info on a product yet still have a question. She seems to think asking questions early will get you the information you need and you will be done quicker, madness I say.

 

By the time I rolled up, she was already getting the spiel. At this point I should say that I speak Thai at a level that I can get everything I need accomplished without using English, But my computer is slow, and when two native speakers get rolling, I only get about 20% comprehension. Sales talk of course is even faster pace, and I am obliged to wait until the noise stops so I can interject something useful (to me) into the conversation.

 

Gas stoves are not the latest high-tech wizardry and we know what we like. We like the platform where the pot sits to be flat and strongly built so pots don’t move around. We like a glass surface because it is the easiest to clean and the most scratch resistant. We like it modern looking without any stupid logos or colorful decorations. That being said, it only takes a few moments to narrow down the options to one or two. This guy however was not interested in any of our ideas, his only thoughts about stoves was that they needed to be his brand, and they had to use stainless steel (or 'stanleh' as he said it) like it was like mithril and made every component virtually indestructible.

 

So he railed on about the various benefits of the different stoves, all of them his brand, and amazingly all of them were great because they used ‘stanleh’. My wife showed no annoyance whatsoever with the chatter (She was born without a BS filter) but ever so occasionally she would ask me. “What do you think?”

 

My intended reply to this was either. “About what”? Because I could not discern the topic. Or, I would attempt to direct her back to the task at hand, which was us picking a stove ‘we’ liked.

It did not matter what I chose to say. The minute my mouth was in gear, the idiot began his pitch again. As if my speaking was to be avoided at all costs. He must have done it 10 times in a row. Amazingly my wife seemed unable to discern either the black cloud billowing over my head, or the utter effrontery he was displaying.

 

This is particularly confusing to me because we have been married almost 13 years and she has been in this situation with me numerous times. On these occasions I have tried various tactics to defeat the hypnotic sales trance, almost all of them ending with me being very angry, looking very rude, and having no victory whatsoever. While the clueless grunt remains unaware and unaffected by my meltdown. And every time after I fulfill the angry falang stereotype, she has to endure a rant; similar to what you are enduring now, because I am sooo frustrated.  I should also point out that while shopping alone, I do not run into these problems. But hey, you buy some stuff together right?

 

All it would take for the sales guy to earn my patience would be to allow me to finish my comments, and perhaps consider them. My theory is that because they do not understand my comments, they do not register as being part of the transaction and they rush to fill the void with more pitch. Alternately they could be actively trying to keep me from speaking because they perceive I am talking her out of buying their BS (usually a correct assumption too). Whatever it is, it is a failed strategy for the most obvious reason; if I hate you I won’t buy from you.

 

This all ended of course without a sale. I have learned eventually, not to waste my energy in an angry display. We used up his time and I walked away without a comment and told my wife I wouldn’t buy a stove here if it was 90% off and the last one in Thailand. Once again Jack Ma at Lazada will be getting my custom because he is polite and doesn’t interrupt. I really wish some sales people could read this rant, it would prove to be quite profitable. I thought most sales people understood that knowing when to shut up was a key to the sale. But apparently the preferred tactic is to assault you with words until you pick up the product and run to the cash register.

I just want to say to all the sales folk who will be attending to Thai/falang couples today…  Shut up, just Shut up, Shut up, Shut up, Shut up, Shut up, let the customer talk. I would say more but the software would censor it.

End of rant.

[ezzra]

And all this rant about buying a stove, i shudder to think what will you

post if you go car shopping....

[Halfaboy]

Story is completely recognisable. One of the biggest irritations when shopping in thailand. Also the fact that I am completely ignored when asking something because I am the farang (only there for the money). My other half is always on the hand of the Thai sales people, so many times it ends up with me just saying 'not buy', turn my back and leave.

[robblok]

45 minutes ago, Halfaboy said:

Story is completely recognisable. One of the biggest irritations when shopping in thailand. Also the fact that I am completely ignored when asking something because I am the farang (only there for the money). My other half is always on the hand of the Thai sales people, so many times it ends up with me just saying 'not buy', turn my back and leave.

Nice relation if your other half does not even support you. 

 

I really don't get this story, you talk with your other half about what you want you both agree on it and that is what you are going to buy. At least that is what I expect to happen in a normal relation. I have been in many of these situations and never had the same outcome the OP had. So for me its not recognizable. The only part recognizable is that the sellers are on commission and want to sell their stuff and according to them its always better as the the other stuff. So it pays to do some research before you buy something. 

[mauGR1]

Sorry in advance if you don't like my comment, but i think you have a communication issue with your wife.

Nice rant though.

[stevenl]

Quote

I have learned eventually, not to waste my energy in an angry display.

I like getting angry. It releases tensions, and I have found it really embarrasses Thai, so much so they are much more likely to give in.

[Tonto21]

Great rant ‘canuckamuck’,

I was living every bit of that shopping experience with you there mate, even the wife with no BS filter…….

I show my love of this sales tactic by ether walking off and looking at other brands, It generally make them talk faster and louder to my wife, who has been fixed to the floor by an invisible force , known a ‘Thainess’.

But don’t be hard on yourself there…. You have ‘man gene’…. Mine is fully developed, for a man! (Something my wife cannot comprehend but understands. I lose interest in most cases of shopping be that ‘looking’ or purchases outside my specialist field of interest; gadgets, tools, motorbikes and mountain bikes. I have been close to choking the life out of some, straight out of Thai sale school, haven’t had a sole to suck on all day and bursting to try out his/her new sales pitch on me.

By the way, we are looking to buy a new cooker soon……. Thanks for the pep talk.

 

[colinneil]

 canuckamuck i have a simple/ easy solution to your problem, it is called Lazada.

No sales spiel, no irritation, no problem with wife..... Easy peasy.

[canuckamuck]

18 minutes ago, colinneil said:

 canuckamuck i have a simple/ easy solution to your problem, it is called Lazada.

No sales spiel, no irritation, no problem with wife..... Easy peasy.

I can see you didn't read to the end. Understandable due to the length, but I am definitely getting one from Lazada.

 

[impulse]

I'm thinking the OP should have looked at the induction stoves...

 

A month ago, I made the mistake of letting the Chinese GF go out and select the new washer to replace the 15 year old one that probably just needed a new belt.  I had reconnoitered them a day before and had 1,700 RMB as a reasonable price level.  She came home with a 3,200 RMB upgrade model because the sales guy convinced her it was better quality.  Live and learn.

 

Edit:  And I can't count the number of Asian stores I've walked out of because the sales people just won't leave me alone to look and think...

 

Edited September 26, 2017 by impulse

[canuckamuck]

35 minutes ago, mauGR1 said:

Sorry in advance if you don't like my comment, but i think you have a communication issue with your wife.

Nice rant though.

Oh yes, I have an issue. It's Thainess, as Tonto pointed out.  Somehow they just listen to whoever's making the pitch, without considering that it is mostly BS, and that it is OK to stop listening and act disinterested. Like I pointed out, these things don't happen to me when I am on my own. But I can't help her out of it, it's pure instinct. She makes up for it by being wonderful in most other ways.

 

@robblok You can say this shows a bad relationship, but she knows she does it but seems unable to avoid it. It is part of the damage of growing up in sakdina

[mauGR1]

1 minute ago, canuckamuck said:

Oh yes, I have an issue. It's Thainess, as Tonto pointed out.  Somehow they just listen to whoever's making the pitch, without considering that it is mostly BS, and that it is OK to stop listening and act disinterested. Like I pointed out, these things don't happen to me when I am on my own. But I can't help her out of it, it's pure instinct. She makes up for it by being wonderful in most other ways.

 

@robblok You can say this shows a bad relationship, but she knows she does it but seems unable to avoid it. It is part of the damage of growing up in sakdina

I fully understand, to be honest i have issues whenever i go shopping with women, even recently in my country, with a female friend from the same country... As somebody said, you can love them, hate them, or make some literature about them

[keeniau96]

I usually do any buying on anything of significance. If my Thai wife of 14 years is along I will show her the likely candidates just to get her involved. but the reply is always: "up to you". So I choose and that's that. Rarely any talking with the salespersons. And no, she is no doormat, has often ripped off some (mental) skin when not pleased.

[InMyShadow]

It's not hard OP just walk away and go look at the stoves. You remind me of the tourists who engage every watch /glasses /viagra hawker in direct conversation and then wonder why he ups the spiel and won't go away.

[canuckamuck]

5 minutes ago, keeniau96 said:

I usually do any buying on anything of significance. If my Thai wife of 14 years is along I will show her the likely candidates just to get her involved. but the reply is always: "up to you". So I choose and that's that. Rarely any talking with the salespersons. And no, she is no doormat, has often ripped off some (mental) skin when not pleased.

This is a top shelf strategy, I also use this when possible, but we were simply picking up a stove on the way home. It had not occurred to me that it would not be a grab one off the shelf situation.

[canuckamuck]

5 minutes ago, InMyShadow said:

It's not hard OP just walk away and go look at the stoves. You remind me of the tourists who engage every watch /glasses /viagra hawker in direct conversation and then wonder why he ups the spiel and won't go away.

You have poor comprehension skills

[cyberfarang]

36 minutes ago, canuckamuck said:

I can see you didn't read to the end. Understandable due to the length, but I am definitely getting one from Lazada.

 

You made the fatal mistake of taking your Thai wife with you.

 

Farlangs should know by now that if out shopping or applying for a service and they take a Thai with them, that the staff will always, without fail, want to deal with the Thai and treat the Farlang as if being invisible even if the Farlang can speak fluent Thai. 

[InMyShadow]

You have poor comprehension skills

That was an essay not a post

 

I saw your blood pressure rising for being pissed off at the salesman

 

As I said.. Walk away immediately and leave your wife to keep him cornered.. not worth being angry even after the event which you very clearly are!!

 

[Pilotman]

1 hour ago, robblok said:

Nice relation if your other half does not even support you. 

 

I really don't get this story, you talk with your other half about what you want you both agree on it and that is what you are going to buy. At least that is what I expect to happen in a normal relation. I have been in many of these situations and never had the same outcome the OP had. So for me its not recognizable. The only part recognizable is that the sellers are on commission and want to sell their stuff and according to them its always better as the the other stuff. So it pays to do some research before you buy something. 

I don't get it either. My wife and I shop  for big items together and talk things over together and decide together, albeit with compromise on both sides.  Shop assistants make no difference to our decision making, which is mutual. Having said that, the constant 'hovering' at Mega Home, by assistants who are clearly on commission puts me off the place, but it puts my wife off too.  

[canuckamuck]

19 minutes ago, InMyShadow said:

That was an essay not a post

 

I saw your blood pressure rising for being pissed off at the salesman

 

As I said.. Walk away immediately and leave your wife to keep him cornered.. not worth being angry even after the event which you very clearly are!!

 

The writing was cathartic.

 

I see what you are saying, but the situation was that we had dropped in to pick up a stove. It was reason to be in the store. I did eventually walk away, but the point was what was meant to be a simple exchange turned into a mess for all because of a culture divide. And the sales guy was fully taking advantage of my wife's good manners and lack of product knowledge. She would likely have bought something we didn't want. So leaving her to it would not have been the smart move.

[canuckamuck]

26 minutes ago, Pilotman said:

I don't get it either. My wife and I shop  for big items together and talk things over together and decide together, albeit with compromise on both sides.  Shop assistants make no difference to our decision making, which is mutual. Having said that, the constant 'hovering' at Mega Home, by assistants who are clearly on commission puts me off the place, but it puts my wife off too.  

Not a big item. Glad to see your partner has the ability to mute the salesman. I think you will see from the replies that my situation is not unique though.

[seajae]

been there done that, I simply tell my wife that I am not interested in their crap but say it loud enough so everyone hears it and that we are not buying it with all the bullsh*t. I find that simply telling them to <deleted> off when we get there works really well and they do tend to leave you alone, good shops usually are ok and wait till you ask, walking away and out of the shop usually does show that you are not happy with them when they refuse to do so.

[colinneil]

1 hour ago, canuckamuck said:

I can see you didn't read to the end. Understandable due to the length, but I am definitely getting one from Lazada.

 

I did read your post to the end, my comment was just me being sarcastic.                                                                                                                

[robblok]

36 minutes ago, Pilotman said:

I don't get it either. My wife and I shop  for big items together and talk things over together and decide together, albeit with compromise on both sides.  Shop assistants make no difference to our decision making, which is mutual. Having said that, the constant 'hovering' at Mega Home, by assistants who are clearly on commission puts me off the place, but it puts my wife off too.  

Yes the sellers are a problem, especially because they always go for what they get the most commission on. Your right you agree on something together with compromises if needed and then buy it together. That is how it works in my book

[robblok]

5 minutes ago, canuckamuck said:

Not a big item. Glad to see your partner has the ability to mute the salesman. I think you will see from the replies that my situation is not unique though.

 

Not being able to mute the salesman is different from having your partner side with the salesman. That was what i found strange if you had said got persuaded by the salesman id have more understanding. Just sounded odd. 

[robblok]

57 minutes ago, cyberfarang said:

You made the fatal mistake of taking your Thai wife with you.

 

Farlangs should know by now that if out shopping or applying for a service and they take a Thai with them, that the staff will always, without fail, want to deal with the Thai and treat the Farlang as if being invisible even if the Farlang can speak fluent Thai. 

That is true, they will always contact the Thai speaker then seen it happen countless of times. But unless your fluid in Thai and you and your wife / partner are of one mind as what has to be bought its still good to go together. 

[robblok]

1 hour ago, canuckamuck said:

Oh yes, I have an issue. It's Thainess, as Tonto pointed out.  Somehow they just listen to whoever's making the pitch, without considering that it is mostly BS, and that it is OK to stop listening and act disinterested. Like I pointed out, these things don't happen to me when I am on my own. But I can't help her out of it, it's pure instinct. She makes up for it by being wonderful in most other ways.

 

@robblok You can say this shows a bad relationship, but she knows she does it but seems unable to avoid it. It is part of the damage of growing up in sakdina

Bad relationship as in siding with the seller.. not being able to filter out the B.S is an other thing. Some people are just real easy to influence (a  sellers dream). I would say that is being influenced not siding.. siding (maybe i misunderstand the term) is teaming up with the seller at your disadvantage. 

 

The Thai woman I have been have so far been great in how they handle sellers, just one of them was real bad at complaining. If food was bad a a restaurant (say cold) she would not complain.. just never set foot there again. I would tell them the food is cold. 

[canuckamuck]

2 minutes ago, robblok said:

 

Not being able to mute the salesman is different from having your partner side with the salesman. That was what i found strange if you had said got persuaded by the salesman id have more understanding. Just sounded odd. 

Yeah, maybe I wasn't clear. No decision or opinions were formed. Mainly the guy talked and when my wife asked my opinion he kept talking. She didn't side with him, she didn't choose anything. But she didn't tell him to shut his yap so I could talk. And that is what would have been better for me. I could have told him to shut up, but you know well that sort of thing goes over here, so I took the high road.

[phuketrichard]

when i was married i made it a point to NEVER shop with my wife, ( before she left  it was always,  "up to you" so why take her?)  so much easier without a significant other.

When i built my house and did LOTS of shopping for everything,   if a salesman approached me i just tell him   no help needed

Edited September 26, 2017 by phuketrichard

[Ron19]

4 hours ago, canuckamuck said:

We went to buy a new gas stove at Thai Watsadu yesterday. I like that store, they usually leave me completely alone, but staff can be found when necessary. However, I guess they have some commissioned folks in there because what happened to me when I got a water heater last year, happened to me again yesterday.

 

We got a guy who could not shut his mouth - fantastically aggravating. I was there with my wife but she got to the stoves before I did. She has this annoying habit of asking staff members stuff. It is my personal rule that you should never engage Thai staff when shopping until you have exhausted every other means of gleaning info on a product yet still have a question. She seems to think asking questions early will get you the information you need and you will be done quicker, madness I say.

 

By the time I rolled up, she was already getting the spiel. At this point I should say that I speak Thai at a level that I can get everything I need accomplished without using English, But my computer is slow, and when two native speakers get rolling, I only get about 20% comprehension. Sales talk of course is even faster pace, and I am obliged to wait until the noise stops so I can interject something useful (to me) into the conversation.

 

Gas stoves are not the latest high-tech wizardry and we know what we like. We like the platform where the pot sits to be flat and strongly built so pots don’t move around. We like a glass surface because it is the easiest to clean and the most scratch resistant. We like it modern looking without any stupid logos or colorful decorations. That being said, it only takes a few moments to narrow down the options to one or two. This guy however was not interested in any of our ideas, his only thoughts about stoves was that they needed to be his brand, and they had to use stainless steel (or 'stanleh' as he said it) like it was like mithril and made every component virtually indestructible.

 

So he railed on about the various benefits of the different stoves, all of them his brand, and amazingly all of them were great because they used ‘stanleh’. My wife showed no annoyance whatsoever with the chatter (She was born without a BS filter) but ever so occasionally she would ask me. “What do you think?”

 

My intended reply to this was either. “About what”? Because I could not discern the topic. Or, I would attempt to direct her back to the task at hand, which was us picking a stove ‘we’ liked.

It did not matter what I chose to say. The minute my mouth was in gear, the idiot began his pitch again. As if my speaking was to be avoided at all costs. He must have done it 10 times in a row. Amazingly my wife seemed unable to discern either the black cloud billowing over my head, or the utter effrontery he was displaying.

 

This is particularly confusing to me because we have been married almost 13 years and she has been in this situation with me numerous times. On these occasions I have tried various tactics to defeat the hypnotic sales trance, almost all of them ending with me being very angry, looking very rude, and having no victory whatsoever. While the clueless grunt remains unaware and unaffected by my meltdown. And every time after I fulfill the angry falang stereotype, she has to endure a rant; similar to what you are enduring now, because I am sooo frustrated.  I should also point out that while shopping alone, I do not run into these problems. But hey, you buy some stuff together right?

 

All it would take for the sales guy to earn my patience would be to allow me to finish my comments, and perhaps consider them. My theory is that because they do not understand my comments, they do not register as being part of the transaction and they rush to fill the void with more pitch. Alternately they could be actively trying to keep me from speaking because they perceive I am talking her out of buying their BS (usually a correct assumption too). Whatever it is, it is a failed strategy for the most obvious reason; if I hate you I won’t buy from you.

 

This all ended of course without a sale. I have learned eventually, not to waste my energy in an angry display. We used up his time and I walked away without a comment and told my wife I wouldn’t buy a stove here if it was 90% off and the last one in Thailand. Once again Jack Ma at Lazada will be getting my custom because he is polite and doesn’t interrupt. I really wish some sales people could read this rant, it would prove to be quite profitable. I thought most sales people understood that knowing when to shut up was a key to the sale. But apparently the preferred tactic is to assault you with words until you pick up the product and run to the cash register.

I just want to say to all the sales folk who will be attending to Thai/falang couples today…  Shut up, just Shut up, Shut up, Shut up, Shut up, Shut up, let the customer talk. I would say more but the software would censor it.

End of rant.

You sound like me, when shopping I like to do it without a sales person anywhere near me.If they insist on following me, I just turn around and walk out without another word.