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You are Going to Die – Are You Ready


Once Bitten

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speak to Thai missus on this sort of thing, and she starts ranting that she wants me to stop putting $$$ into Life Insurance and Super;

(when you're dead, you're dead)

 

and wants to pull it all out ( shows her level of understanding...)

 

 - wants to spend it all as it cannot be taken with her  (falang thinking that missus again cares not for hubby and survivors around her, in case she goes first)

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1 hour ago, Once Bitten said:

The balance between indulgences and over doing it is some thing that other members of the gang mentioned several times , like why not just burn the candle at both ends and cram in as much as you can for the remainder of the time you have left , why worry if you drink to much or constantly smoke and why not even take risks that you never even thought about before this curse of getting old struck . 


Like you I constantly think to my self , may be I have another ten years left , or even longer . But should I be still around in say 20 years time what will I be able to do or could I be sitting in an arm chair struck down with dementia waiting for incontinence to set in . I would hate to think that my family would be counting down the days to my departure so they can get on with their lives . 
 

Some self knowledge helps quite a bit... what is it that will really give you joy might surprise as well as what might not... as everything, approach such decisions w/a good dose of thought and evaluation. I was never much of a drinker but have learned that on occasion, I can enjoy a drink or two. I will get sleepy before drunk. Overdoing it and getting drunk and sick would have more negative consequence for me... but what I get great joy from might not be as much fun for someone else. 

 

On the other hand, I don't really like to exercise but being in better condition will surely be a benefit as years go by... 

 

I know sugar is bad for me, but when I am having an energy-less day, a shot of sugary something will turn around my energy and my mood and enjoyment of the day... 

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41 minutes ago, kenk24 said:

Some self knowledge helps quite a bit... what is it that will really give you joy might surprise as well as what might not... as everything, approach such decisions w/a good dose of thought and evaluation. I was never much of a drinker but have learned that on occasion, I can enjoy a drink or two. I will get sleepy before drunk. Overdoing it and getting drunk and sick would have more negative consequence for me... but what I get great joy from might not be as much fun for someone else. 

 

On the other hand, I don't really like to exercise but being in better condition will surely be a benefit as years go by... 

 

I know sugar is bad for me, but when I am having an energy-less day, a shot of sugary something will turn around my energy and my mood and enjoyment of the day... 

The knowing just what gives me joy has slowly changed over the years to a point in time now where I seem to be more happy and contented with the simple things that life has to offer .Gone is the burning desire to constantly be  wanting to acquiring more stuff , be it property cars or expensive designer gear .

 

 When a friend telephones or emails me and asks how are you doing , my stock and true answer is now ,  I'm fine and just glad to wake up in the morning . I know this may sound a bit of a cliché but when I walk out side and feel the sun on my face and see a clear blue sky it brings home the reality of ,  any day now that feeling of happiness could be gone in a flash .

 

 As for drinking like you I'm not or ever been a heavy drinker . But in my past pre Thailand days I did have a routine of enjoying a good bottle of red wine with my evening meal , it became some thing I look forward to after a hard days work. Fast forward to now and I still love red wine and on occasion  have a glass or three with an evening meal , but afterwards strangely I some times now  have a guilty feeling.

 

 

 

 

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54 minutes ago, sirineou said:

A Difficult subject at best. 

First mistake was marrying someone younger than me

.My wife is a lovely person (we do have our moments) we depend on each other a lot.

The thought that one day I will leave her alone disturbs me greatly. My daughter is a much stronger person and will be fine, but I worry about my wife. I wish we were closer in age and getting to that stage in life together.

 If I had to do it again I would marry someone closer to my age. It was a very selfish thing to do in my part.

 When I retire in two years I will be taking a reduced pension so that she also gets to keep it for life . Also I have bought a house in Florida on her name, She owns her parents home (was signed over to her when Dad died and we are now taking care of Mom) and we are in the process of building another house that will be finished in a couple of months in Thailand  ,  also I made sure she became a US citizen and send her to school so she has her a cosmetology and nail tech licence so if things get rough in Thailand she can always return to the US and work. so I think she will be ok  but who knows.

  But , nonetheless the thought of leaving her disturbs me greatly and I need to find a way to come to terms with it. 

once you get that thought in your mind hard to get it out.

I will be 61 in June   both parents died mid 80s

 

Thanks for sharing your thoughts , I was concerned that this subject may have been some what distressing to some people . I just hope that's not the case and its a subject that can be openly discussed.

 

Your comment about marrying some one closer to your age is an interesting one , and not really some thing that Ive ever thought about . But your other observation about trying to remove from your mind certain thoughts certainly rings a bell with me , and as for being 61 in June I wish I was 61 again  :smile:

 

 

 

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2 hours ago, Once Bitten said:

Ive spoken to my Thai wife a few times about the subject of whats going to happen if I'm not around any more , its obvious that in her mind she is a firm believer in  reincarnation and there's nothing to worry about as in your next life things will be even better than your present life .

 

Convincing my self that may be true is an up hill struggle :whistling:

 

Odd, isn't it, that ALL Thais believe that the next life is going to be better than this one.

 

 

What if it isn't ?

 

 

I think I shall continue to invest in this current life and enjoy it as much as I can.

 

I also don't get the sensitivity of it all; I have not yet anyone who is immortal. An inability to accept the inevitable can lead to a lack of planning and a bugger's muddle, for those we love,  to have to sort out when we are gone.

 

As far as Thailand is concerned it probably doesn't matter what your wishes are as the Thais will dispose of you in accordance with their beliefs - and what is expected of them by others.

 

Land is a scarce resource, it should not be taken up with rotting bones.

 

 

 

Then again, I own a crematorium so I may have a slight bias.

Edited by Jip99
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Reading Once Bitten's two letters made me sad.  A positive attitude is essential.  I am not recommending gay abandon, but I refuse to dwell on the subject of death or even the possibility, though at nearly 80 many of my younger friends and colleagues have passed away already.  I know that I am lucky in that I work full time in Anti-aging Medicine (AAM), but I work at it, and still travel the world, drive, fly as a pilot in helicopters and fixed wing aircraft, dive  ( to 24 metres), ski,

parachute, para ascend, swim and join in every activity I can.  At medical conferences now,  the maxim is that

'aging is a disease, not an inevitability'  though of course we all have to die sometime.  Prof. Aubrey de Grey,  a world leading Anti-aging specialist and Prof at Cambridge Univ. , has said that the most difficult period to overcome in AAM, is 

the 120-150 year mark.  There are lots of children alive already, who will reach 120, if they take advantage of the new advances coming out every 5 years in the field of AAM .  As Pan Am used to claim,  ' Life is a journey - Travel it well !'

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12 hours ago, sirineou said:

A Difficult subject at best. 

First mistake was marrying someone younger than me

.My wife is a lovely person (we do have our moments) we depend on each other a lot.

The thought that one day I will leave her alone disturbs me greatly. My daughter is a much stronger person and will be fine, but I worry about my wife. I wish we were closer in age and getting to that stage in life together.

 If I had to do it again I would marry someone closer to my age. It was a very selfish thing to do in my part.

 When I retire in two years I will be taking a reduced pension so that she also gets to keep it for life . Also I have bought a house in Florida on her name, She owns her parents home (was signed over to her when Dad died and we are now taking care of Mom) and we are in the process of building another house that will be finished in a couple of months in Thailand  ,  also I made sure she became a US citizen and send her to school so she has her a cosmetology and nail tech licence so if things get rough in Thailand she can always return to the US and work. so I think she will be ok  but who knows.

  But , nonetheless the thought of leaving her disturbs me greatly and I need to find a way to come to terms with it. 

once you get that thought in your mind hard to get it out.

I will be 61 in June   both parents died mid 80s

 

It looks like you're going to be worrying for a good 20 years more (going by your parents' age). Alternatively you stop worrying, accept reality, and enjoy those 20 plus years, and possibly a lot more!

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12 hours ago, Jip99 said:


 

As far as Thailand is concerned it probably doesn't matter what your wishes are as the Thais will dispose of you in accordance with their beliefs - and what is expected of them by others.

 

 

For sure, you'll be cremated if you haven't specified otherwise in a will. You can specify burial in your will, but I imagine you'd have to organise this in advance with a specific church or organisation. There are plenty of Chinese cemeteries in Thailand, but I've never seen a Christian one. 

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12 hours ago, sirineou said:

The only distress I have about the subject concerns my loved ones and what will happen to them without me. I guess I am a bit of a control freak, and perhaps have a somewhat elevated sense of self importance. 

 Also I would not want to personally suffer at the end  (who does) my dad had a stroke and it was not good for him the last few months.

As far as death is concerned , It is my belief that no one ever dies , at least not for long.  

Consider the following. All the elements in the Universe  combine to create different forms and at some point decompose to give up its elements back to the mix so that can recombine into different forms .

Nothing new is created or destroyed simply recombined.

  Of all the possible different  forms and possibilities , this time they have combined to make you, in this possibility.   

You and your situation is highly improbable but since it, and you exists possible. The probability of you and it is astronomically high but not infinite, given enough time it will occur again . It is inevitable.

Though after you die time continues, from your perspective  time stops since time is simply the measurement of the sequence that things occur and for you  nothing more is occurring.

So for you, the next improbable possibility would seem instantaneous.

Does this make any sense.?

 It does to me , but that's not saying much LOL

 

The worrying about loved ones and their future is some thing that I hope Ive  covered by making provisions for in the form of legal paperwork .

 

Your elements in the universe theory is one I'm going to have to work on :smile:

 

 

 

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