Relationships and age differences, a personal case study

[thesetat2013]

16 hours ago, HLover said:

Meh, best of luck to you.  No arrow slinging material here mate.

Perhaps the only thing to doing is the abuse I suffered actually reading it all. 

Haha

[Roelf]

17 hours ago, HLover said:

Meh, best of luck to you.  No arrow slinging material here mate.

I second that wish, with full confidence.

from what it appears your relationship is well balanced and has been for the last two years. You have to keep in mind though, that time will change things and personalities. Which does not have to be negative at all, as long as you are on top of it.

It appears that the young lady wants you for you. Great!!  With a bit of work you should be able to keep it like that...... both ways.

I would suggest that you don't think about marriage for a long time.  It serve no real purpose, except tomchange people and usually in a negative way.  Good luck from a two-time loser but now a winner with 20 years difference in age.

[Acemaker]

17 hours ago, HLover said:

Meh, best of luck to you.  No arrow slinging material here mate.

Good for you Mate, i wish you well.

[NoshowJones]

9 hours ago, MaeJoMTB said:

You've checked it's not a bloke?

('cos of the height)

My wife is 173 cms also, about 5ft 9ins. and she is certainly not a bloke, she has had two kids.

[jeffbkk1]

OP, you must be a fellow Oregonian? Anyway, I meet my Thai GF when she was 23 and I was 56, and that was 7 years ago, and all's well. She had formerly lived with her ex-boss for several years, and he was a few years older than me! Father figures? Nope, her's died about a year before we met, but from all accounts, they had an excellent relationship. She says she just prefers older men, and who am I to argue? We met on-line, and she's really held me to what I wrote in my profile, and me likewise. I've never had kids, and she never wants any - too much drama and responsibility - couldn't agree more! We both love to travel, and have been 2x back to the States, Japan, France, Spain, India.... We both love action movies, eating out, and spending time at my condo in Cha Am with friends when we're not home in BKK. She's very attractive (I won't post her photo, but in contrast to yours, and most Thai women, she's got BIG breasts, not that it matters to me). I look good for my age, and she encouraged me to get a neck lift, but never bugs me about appearances. It works for us, and I NEVER think about the 33 yr. age gap at all anymore, because it just isn't an issue in Thailand. Took her back to my HS 40th reunion in the L.A. area, and yes, we DID turn some heads - jealous guys and wives probably saying "don't even think about it." It was fun :-)

[Cyclone88]

I'm 64 and wife 32. Been together 10 years and married for 8. 

We are both extremely happy. 

Go for it!! 

[GoDucks]

Yes my girl's father is still married to her mother and they all (still--my girl still lives at home other than a few odd nights or trips) stay together, along with a few siblings and aunts.  

[whaleboneman]

20 year old or 50 year old - they all like the same cartoons and joking shows. and playing on phone. does it really matter?

[RichardColeman]

1st thai wife 10 years younger - destroyed my finances and our family business through family greed.

2nd thai wife 14 years younger - complete opposite, sane, secure and caring.

Neither were bar girls. 

[catman20]

18 hours ago, HLover said:

Meh, best of luck to you.  No arrow slinging material here mate.

agreed ! crack on and enjoy it as long as it lasts

[Justfine]

5 minutes ago, RichardColeman said:

1st thai wife 10 years younger - destroyed my finances and our family business through family greed.

2nd thai wife 14 years younger - complete opposite, sane, secure and caring.

Neither were bar girls. 

Imagine the next one. 18 years younger and a lotto winning nympho.

[catman20]

4 hours ago, GoDucks said:

Now I am not going to ay she is the most beautiful girl to ever walk the earth, but she looks good to me.  And when I said she has the body of a VS model (sans big boobs) i was not joking.

 

is this her ?

[GoDucks]

Just now, catman20 said:

is this her ?

yep

[RichardColeman]

3 minutes ago, Justfine said:

Imagine the next one. 18 years younger and a lotto winning nympho.

Hopefully she'll be a lot younger than that !

[Whitson]

Good to see some happy answers rather than the normal vitriol here on TV.

I was 58 when I married my Thai gf...she was 26. After 14 years of marriage we separated..my fault I put my hands up to that. But, we still email, meet for the odd beer and dinner. 

Met another girl six years ago ... she was 25 the and is now 31. Me...well I am 76 next birthday.

No cheating, deceit or thieving. Many holidays to surrounding countries. I am not rich but not poor.

So it can be good, I guess you get back what you give out.

Thailand...just amazing!

[Different]

Damn farangs they are always after young girls and young boys.

[fordguy61mi]

Just enjoy it while you can. She’ll be gone eventually but it’ll be fun until it happens. And I honestly wish you luck.

[GoDucks]

14 minutes ago, Different said:

Damn farangs they are always after young girls and young boys.

LOL as I mentioned I had no intention of starting a LTR with this girl.  it just happened.

[Samui Bodoh]

No slings or arrows from me either; enjoy.

 

However, at some point it would be a good idea to think about the future; hers, not yours. Thai women, or perhaps better said Asian women in general, often have great difficulty getting a husband after they hit 30 or so. That is not 100%, but it is difficult. You and she sound happy now, but when you kick the bucket, how old will she be? Will she have a chance to meet someone else after you are gone? To be blunt, after you go to the big house in the sky, what about her?

 

As I said, no slings or arrows from me, but this is something that you should think about, some time.

 

Cheers and good luck.

 

[MaeJoMTB]

I thought I was happily married to a woman half my age.

But after reading this thread I'm developing SERIOUS age gap envy.

 

I want one 1/3 my age too!

[GoDucks]

1 minute ago, Samui Bodoh said:

No slings or arrows from me either; enjoy.

 

However, at some point it would be a good idea to think about the future; hers, not yours. Thai women, or perhaps better said Asian women in general, often have great difficulty getting a husband after they hit 30 or so. That is not 100%, but it is difficult. You and she sound happy now, but when you kick the bucket, how old will she be? Will she have a chance to meet someone else after you are gone? To be blunt, after you go to the big house in the sky, what about her?

 

As I said, no slings or arrows from me, but this is something that you should think about, some time.

 

Cheers and good luck.

 

I have brought that up several times and she will not have it.  Stubborn in that way I guess.

[1FinickyOne]

5 hours ago, GoDucks said:

Surprisingly we like a lot of the same music, enjoy the same movies, enjoy the same kind of activities, and as one of those girls who has liked Western culture for most of her life its weird how many things she is aware of--like Scoobi doo as an odd example.  I almost think her age is an advangage as she grew up being exposed to internet and all things Western.

As an example a few months back a Green Day song came up and she was singing along... A bit surprised I asked "You like Green Day?"  She said yes they were one of her favorites...

That is all nice - - even if one day it does change, it sounds like you have something special going on that is not easy to find... enjoy and indulge every minute of it... good luck to you.

[cyberfarang]

11 hours ago, faraday said:

Enjoy yourself.

Those two words exactly sums it all up.

 

The OP said he hasn`t found anything bad on her yet. My advice there is; don`t dig too deep, otherwise he`ll be disappointed.

She hasn`t asked for anything. Give it time, she will.

 

Enjoy it now, take it day by day and avoid becoming too emotionally involved and if the relationship fails to give mutual benefits, then call it a day and move on.

[GoDucks]

1 minute ago, cyberfarang said:

Those two words exactly sums it all up.

 

The OP said he hasn`t found anything bad on her yet. My advice there is; don`t dig too deep, otherwise he`ll be disappointed.

She hasn`t asked for anything. Give it time, she will.

 

Enjoy it now, take it day by day and avoid becoming too emotionally involved and if the relationship fails to give mutual benefits, then call it a day and move on.

She must be one patient player--its been two years.  :)

[Kimber]

5 hours ago, brewsterbudgen said:

A thought a 25-30 year age gap was the norm around here! Certainly works for me.

Sent from my SM-G930F using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app
 

 

Indeed.  I've been having an on and off thing with a BKK tertiary educated and business employed Thai lady (37 while I'm 65) for over 4 years now;  I was a determined sex monger before but in the last year or so come to accept that it's never going to offer anything more than a brief interlude with an emotional vacuum same same hangover.

 

My Thai girl ticks all the boxes for me,  very attractive, great sex; good English, earns well above the Thai norm; intelligent and loyal without doubt.  

 

She's well and truly passed the lengthy probation period, but here comes the glitch bit;  her younger sister (25 ) has expressed a desire to live with us in BKK.   

 

The problem is that the sisters have obviously discussed the scenario and are happy for it to happen;  the younger being willing to play the role of Mia Noi  until she meets a farang guy via my contacts in Australia.

 

Believe me I'm not praying for absolution, but I am concerned with what could become an overly complicated situation.   

[Gecko123]

Hate to break up this craddle-robbers love fest,  but would somebody hand me an air sickness bag before I throw up.  A 12th grade student attracted to a 56 year old guy????   There's only one word for that: abnormal. Is this girl mentally or developmentally handicapped in some way? Has she ever been sexually abused? The OP's obviously not going to tell us, but I highly doubt we're getting the full picture. I've taught high school in Thailand for many years. Most students at that age have crushes on Korean boy band members and Thai heart throbs, not middle age foreign men. And if they go after a foreign man it's only because they're shallowly mezmerized by the lifestyle being offered.

 

Edited March 8, 2018 by Gecko123

[Kimber]

7 hours ago, marko kok prong said:

Good luck to the op but a 34 year age gap is a fair one,my first Thai wife was 10 years younger than me my second is 13 years younger i am 53.It is hard enough to have a lot in common due to cultural differences,but we mostly get on fine,but i really don't know what i would talk about with a 20 year old.

 

Reassuring to read that both of your wives remain on your scene,  do they alternate or all in together ?  555

[Stevemercer]

Such a relationship is not abnormal or creepy.

 

Many Thai girls have a bit of a 'father fixation' having been raised during their teenage years in a household of females (because the father has run off or some other reason). Some of these Thai girls are mature for their age and can form a close relationship with an older guy. Sometimes this can lead to intimacy, love and marriage, particularly with a farang who is outside the normal Thai conventions.

 

Of course, your girlfriend might want to live overseas or have children at some stage. She is young and you can open up a world of opportunities for her. While nobody knows what the future holds, if she is a better person for knowing you (and vice versa), then the relationship is healthy.

[Rolanddrums]

59 minutes ago, MaeJoMTB said:

I thought I was happily married to a woman half my age.

But after reading this thread I'm developing SERIOUS age gap envy.

 

I want one 1/3 my age too!

..yeah 'half your age' is soooo last year haha ..take care. 

[GoDucks]

56 minutes ago, Gecko123 said:

Hate to break up this craddle-robbers love fest,  but would somebody hand me an air sickness bag before I throw up.  A 12th grade student attracted to a 56 year old guy????   There's only one word for that: abnormal. Is this girl mentally or developmentally handicapped in some way? Has she ever been sexually abused? The OP's obviously not going to tell us, but I highly doubt we're getting the full picture. I've taught high school in Thailand for many years. Most students at that age have crushes on Korean boy band members and Thai heart throbs, not middle age foreign men. And if they go after a foreign man it's only because they're shallowly mezmerized by the lifestyle being offered.

 

I was 52 and she ws just finishing M6 when we met--although she told me she was a uni student.

No, she has never been physically abused, sexually or otherwise.

When she was 15 she was crazy about Korean bands.  Then she developed a crush on Justin Beiber and started memorizing all of his songs.  She became obsessed with English and Western culture.  

As mentioned many times, she never asks or even wants anything from me.  She often complains if I spend too much at a restaurant and suggests something cheaper would have bene just fine.  And she refuses to consider a trip to the US until she can pay for it herself....

Mentally disabled?  She is on academic scholarship at her university...  LOL

 

Edited March 8, 2018 by GoDucks