Having a man-child for a BF

[scorecard]

  On 3/28/2018 at 7:22 AM, thaibeachlovers said:

I could answer that, but it'd be off topic and even more depressing, so I won't.

Have a nice day.

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?

 

 

[Sydneyboy1]

  On 3/28/2018 at 5:51 AM, starky said:

What do you want? A nurse, a companion, or someone to suck on it? cos you might if your extremely lucky be able to get 2 out 3 there but your not going to hit the trifecta. 

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I don't need the nurse yet. But the companionship  is good and if her jaw wasn't wired shut cause of a bike accident I could probably get some of no. 3 too. ????

[Gecko123]

  On 3/28/2018 at 8:36 AM, canthai55 said:

I am from the West. I expect you are too.

At the ripe age I have attained, I remain baffled by the Western worlds - male and female - eternal search for 'Love'

If you want someone who you can talk to - fine

Take care of you - fine

Make the Beast with Two Backs - thanks Will Shakespeare - fine

This constant searching for your 'Soulmate' - IM not so HO - for 99% of the human race - is a pipe dream

It Ain't NEVER going to happen.

Find someone you can stay with, on balance, and remain friendly, helpful, and compassionate.

If they do not tick all the boxes - find someone else who ticks it

Get some sanity in your life, because at the end of the day, all literature aside - we Live and Die Alone

Before - Now - Forever

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I believe your eloquent description describes how most Thais think about relationships as well.

[smotherb]

  On 3/26/2018 at 6:29 PM, The manic said:

Perhaps you are on the wrong forum as 99 % of men are not gay they might have little useful to offer.. Most of us, have women issues  andcwe cantvcant agree!  Good luck but ifvxou were not gay and he was a she I would say dump her ASAP! 

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Really now? I see a lot of the issues the OP mentioned being said and complained about by male posters about their Thai gf; e.g., " . . . what I have got in this relationship is not an adult lover/companion, but a  . . . child ie a grown-up with the mentality of 10 year-old . . .  So in our daily life together instead of having someone who helps me with house chores and such, I am now a nanny (who pick up after) and a daddy (who program and pay for all our activities) rolled into one . . .," well, you get the point. What has being gay got to do with your recommendation? I too would dump him or her.

[Lacessit]

I don't know if anyone else has noticed; however, it's the Thai women that do a lot more here than Thai men. It's something trained into them from an early age, just as privilege is trained into the boys.

Gay or hetero, IMHO for the OP to be expecting anything more than what is happening now is wishful thinking.

[smotherb]

  On 3/27/2018 at 2:10 AM, OneMoreFarang said:

Sounds like typical Thai behavior to me. It reminds me of Thai banks or hospitals etc.. It seems everybody stares at the TV - or these days they stare at their private TV called smartphone.

 

But you should ask yourself: Why did you chose this partner and not someone else with more mature behavior?

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I'll wager the answer would be the same as other farangs who chose a childish female lover.

[smotherb]

  On 3/28/2018 at 7:37 AM, roo860 said:

 

Is beastiality legal in Thailand?

Sent from my SM-G920F using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app
 

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must be, most of the girls are with their buffaloes

[Jingthing]

  On 3/28/2018 at 7:37 AM, roo860 said:

 

Is beastiality legal in Thailand?

Sent from my SM-G920F using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app
 

 

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Not sure, but if that's your thing (not that there's anything wrong with it as long as the beast is legal age and consents) be sure to use a VPN when you google it!

[roo860]

  On 3/28/2018 at 10:57 AM, Jingthing said:

Not sure, but if that's your thing (not that there's anything wrong with it as long as the beast is legal age and consents) be sure to use a VPN when you google it!

'Be sure to use a VPN when you Google it', is that some new jargon for a perverse sexual practice?

[emoji15]

 

Sent from my SM-G920F using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

 

 

 

[Jingthing]

  On 3/28/2018 at 11:42 AM, roo860 said:

'Be sure to use a VPN when you Google it', is that some new jargon for a perverse sexual practice?

 

Sent from my SM-G920F using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

 

 

 

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Not really. Just if google tracks your interest in sex with animals, you might not enjoy all the ads you start seeing about barn animal lingerie. 

[starky]

  On 3/28/2018 at 8:36 AM, Jingthing said:

It always does ... 

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One of the first threads I've seen where it turned up late

[scorecard]

  On 3/28/2018 at 10:50 AM, smotherb said:

I'll wager the answer would be the same as other farangs who chose a childish female lover.

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There's always the possibility that the person was/is in deeply love with the concept of 'being in love', rather than in love with the actual person. 

[jesimps]

Seeing you had to have your (slight) dig at TVF comments I feel that I have to respond and say that you're extremely lucky to live in this age of tolerance where homosexuals can come on a forum used mainly by non-homosexuals and have your say without being flamed.

 

As for your relationship problem, being married to a Thai I can sympathise but can't offer any advice. They're unreformable! It would be useful to know who the dominant partner is in the relationship. If it's him, then maybe his instincts make him act like a lot of males in a normal relationship which is to sit around and expect the "woman" to do the work. 

 

If you don't like my reply, tough! I'm 73 yoa and consider myself too old to go along with modern, politically-correct thinking.

 

If you don't agree that you're lucky to receive the tolerance which you get on here, just read the posts following this one. That'll put you in the picture.

 

I may get banned for posting this, but that's par for the course these days. Seeing I don't visit TVF much I'm not too bothered, I'm just pleased that I've had my two-penneth.

[Jingthing]

Some of the straight people here seem to be suggesting that Thai gay men see same sex relationships in a hetero normative way.

The trend in the west has not been like that in general. The gay marriage thing is usually man and man modelled.

No further comment except that cross cultural relations can be very challenging gay or straight.

 

Sent from my [device_name] using http://Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

 

 

 

 

[Jingthing]

  On 3/28/2018 at 1:36 PM, jesimps said:

Seeing you had to have your (slight) dig at TVF comments I feel that I have to respond and say that you're extremely lucky to live in this age of tolerance where homosexuals can come on a forum used mainly by non-homosexuals and have your say without being flamed.
 
As for your relationship problem, being married to a Thai I can sympathise but can't offer any advice. They're unreformable! It would be useful to know who the dominant partner is in the relationship. If it's him, then maybe his instincts make him act like a lot of males in a normal relationship which is to sit around and expect the "woman" to do the work. 
 
If you don't like my reply, tough! I'm 73 yoa and consider myself too old to go along with modern, politically-correct thinking.
 
If you don't agree that you're lucky to receive the tolerance which you get on here, just read the posts following this one. That'll put you in the picture.
 
I may get banned for posting this, but that's par for the course these days. Seeing I don't visit TVF much I'm not too bothered, I'm just pleased that I've had my two-penneth.

I won't flame you dude. You're being honest. But my honesty is that it's really sad that you and presumably others seem to think gays should be grateful just for not being bashed. That's a really low bar.

Sent from my [device_name] using http://Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

[SOTIRIOS]

..unless you are a masochist...end it immediately....

[smotherb]

  On 3/28/2018 at 12:21 PM, scorecard said:

 

There's always the possibility that the person was/is in deeply love with the concept of 'being in love', rather than in love with the actual person. 

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Are you sure you meant that post for this forum? Which is the one to whom you refer, the lazy immature one or the complaining older one?

[newnative]

Dear Abby or Ann Landers, I forget which, used to give this good advice:  Ask yourself, and be brutally honest, are you better off WITH him or WITHOUT him?  

[simon43]

There's a lot of good to be said for having no partners and making do with a rubber glove on your wrong hand..less stress, cheap and very enjoyable with a vivid imagination :)

[jenny2017]

  On 3/28/2018 at 11:45 AM, Jingthing said:

Not really. Just if google tracks your interest in sex with animals, you might not enjoy all the ads you start seeing about barn animal lingerie. 

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  Outing? 

[Jingthing]

  On 3/28/2018 at 3:03 PM, jenny2017 said:

  Outing? 

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He asked if bestiality was illegal in Thailand. Googling that question shows an interest in sex with animals that is likely to be recorded. Just the facts, man. 

[sead]

Stop hoping he will change. Thats why you are still with him. He wont because his life is pretty great as it is. And if you want a nanny get a girl.

[catman20]

you sound like a decent man.

dump him and look for a new b.f.

if I was with a women who's was like that, that's what id do. good luck

 

[Max66]

Just to be clear.  The OP is attracted to men that ,as the OP says has the mentality of a 10 year old  child? That's very disturbing.

[smo]

error

[smo]

  On 3/28/2018 at 1:44 PM, Jingthing said:

Some of the straight people here seem to be suggesting that Thai gay men see same sex relationships in a hetero normative way.

The trend in the west has not been like that in general. The gay marriage thing is usually man and man modelled.

No further comment except that cross cultural relations can be very challenging gay or straight.

 

Sent from my [device_name] using http://Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

 

 

 

 

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Excellent point. Yeah, I've been wondering about this too for a while now...I'd put that down to the cultural "barrier" (for lack of a better word) that gays/straights on both sides seem not having been able to break through. 

 

Someone on this thread asked whether I assumed the role of BF or GF? Which echoes the sentiments of most (read all) my Thai friends to whom the only thing they really needed to know upon my coming out to them was whether I'm a King or a Queen. And the (mis)conception doesn't happen only in the straight world. As a gay man I find it laughingly ridiculous when a gay man introduces his legal spouse as "my husband" or a lesbian "my wife." Bravo for the advance of gay rights!

 

Once more, thanks for the gracious and kind inputs from those who have weighed in! (Sorry too lazy to click the likes button for all concerned, but honestly I didn't want to comb through the "flaming" posts.) Have a nice day everyone!

[smo]

  On 3/29/2018 at 3:44 AM, Max66 said:

Just to be clear.  The OP is attracted to men that ,as the OP says has the mentality of a 10 year old  child? That's very disturbing.

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"Attracted" is the wrong word.  You should have said "apalled" to be more in tune with the gist of this topic

[smo]

  On 3/28/2018 at 2:39 PM, newnative said:

Dear Abby or Ann Landers, I forget which, used to give this good advice:  Ask yourself, and be brutally honest, are you better off WITH him or WITHOUT him?  

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That's the 130K dollar question (sorry I'm a bit "stormy-spanked" right now as you can see - btw you'll make an excellent dear Abby/Ann Landers successor, getting right down to the meat of the matter.)

 

Truthfully, that's something I'm struggling with. Right now, inspite of everything, J provides me with the emotional core that I have mentioned earlier on. A sense of belonging, a "family" if you will. I used to have that with a family of my Thai friends, however we have drifted apart. It's pathetic, but really I'm not better off than my friend H. the septuagenarian Finnish that I have also talked about. He's going home to a wife who apparently can and rather do without him, but she's still his wife and he's got a home to go to.

 

Another friend in the building G another horny old goat who still lives with his ex-wife in a house they share in France (whenever he suggests selling it she would jack the price up.) When he comes to Thailand the neighborhood "salon" is where he would spend most of his time and money. A couple of time he managed to take the working ladies out for a date and a night together, that seemed not to have worked out too well....So there you have it, sad but true.

 

...I'm not whining,  just "brutally honest!" at your request.

[Tracyb]

Looking at this as a GM myself...... I proffer that your "partner" is more of a part time companion who is less interested in developing a long term relationship and more interested in himself.  There are many men out there looking for a long term partner.  IMHO it's time to move on gracefully....  Best of luck to you.

 

[poanoi]

he puts minimal effort into the relation while still getting paid