Breaking up with my Thai girlfriend

[catman20]

14 hours ago, expat1010 said:

Thanks for the advice. Have done this before in Thailand and the drama and theatrics was tiring. Now it is just a question of when and where. Probably should have done this a few years back.


Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect

if its just a g/f your seeing, quite easy no problems. if your living together thats a whole new ball game. good luck, always unpleasant.

Edited October 26, 2018 by catman20

[alex8912]

Don’t know if this has been mentioned yet.  Are you 27 or 67? Makes a big difference.

[DoctorG]

My answer was to leave the country for a short period. I have done this twice but not for a 3 year relationship, more like 6 months.

[OneMoreFarang]

55 minutes ago, alex8912 said:

Don’t know if this has been mentioned yet.  Are you 27 or 67? Makes a big difference.

The bigger difference is if she is 25 or 37.

[quandow]

I told my gf I had to go back to the states and wasn't sure when I'd be back. When I DID return after a 2-month hiatus, we miraculously bumped into each other at Big C. Seriously, there was no way she could have known. She stalked me a little, I had to make it QUITE clear we were done. Now, we still bump into each other (always at Big C for some strange reason) and when we do, we stop what we're doing, go grab a coffee, catch up and part as friends.

[1FinickyOne]

try to do it kindly... sounds like you might already have someone picked out?? Maybe go outside the group...

[1FinickyOne]

19 hours ago, BritManToo said:

There's more than one town in Thailand.

don't let that secret out in Pattaya or Patong... actually, they won't care anyway..

[SpeakeasyThai]

Before you instigate the end of the relationship make sure all your posessions are well out of her sight and cannot be stolen or destroyed. 

It may be wise to go off the radar and change your SIM card for a new mobile number. 

Leaving town would be a wise move - at least for a month, which would give her ample time to suck from a new host.

Prior to officially informing the lady you are out of the relationship make sure any sharp tool or knife is well out of reach. 

Last but very importantly not least, be very wary as they are unpredictable. Your life could be in danger.

Good Luck!

Edited October 26, 2018 by SpeakeasyThai

[BritManToo]

23 minutes ago, quandow said:

after a 2-month hiatus, we miraculously bumped into each other at Big C.

Now, we still bump into each other (always at Big C for some strange reason) 

2

 

She has a friend working there that calls her when she sees you.

Not all that miraculous really.

Edited October 26, 2018 by BritManToo

[henry15]

I did break up  twice with Thai ladies in  a very amical way. I still be good FB friends with them. Amd once i a while we still email. The even congratulated me with my marriages. That both of them are financially independant  and cery succesfull bussineswomen is maybe the reason fort that.

[phantomfiddler]

Try learning the bagpipes, works every time  ????

[SpeakeasyThai]

28 minutes ago, quandow said:

I told my gf I had to go back to the states and wasn't sure when I'd be back. When I DID return after a 2-month hiatus, we miraculously bumped into each other at Big C. Seriously, there was no way she could have known. She stalked me a little, I had to make it QUITE clear we were done. Now, we still bump into each other (always at Big C for some strange reason) and when we do, we stop what we're doing, go grab a coffee, catch up and part as friends.

Do you still give her money?

[Emdog]

39 minutes ago, SpeakeasyThai said:

Before you instigate the end of the relationship make sure all your posessions are well out of her sight and cannot be stolen or destroyed. 

It may be wise to go off the radar and change your SIM card for a new mobile number. 

Leaving town would be a wise move - at least for a month, which would give her ample time to suck from a new host.

Prior to officially informing the lady you are out of the relationship make sure any sharp tool or knife is well out of reach. 

Last but very importantly not least, be very wary as they are unpredictable. Your life could be in danger.

Good Luck!

"suck from a new host." seems a tad harsh. Next time, if there is one, find one that is not a parasite. They're out there.

Otherwise, agree with post. Might also suggest take care of you... meaning don't jump into a new one right away. Give yourself some down time to process this. If you already have one lined up, I imagine she knows you already have gf, one way or another. If you have a new prospect, then you are a cheater and that will be kept in mind by newbie.... hard to establish trust with someone untrustworthy. Might lead her to become a "get what I can before he moves on" type gf.

[elgenon]

Quote

 

My plan was to build 2 houses in my home country, sell them, move to Thailand and get married.

Well the houses leaked so badly I couldn't sell them. She married a Thai. We are still good friends.

But she is solidly middle class. Has her own money.

[unamazedloso]

erghhh the drama....

 

advice: drop it like its hot! lifes too short. The wifes of your friends should respect your opinion or they arent your friends in which case who cares.

Ive only left one thai women purely because she was too much to deal with and on another planet entirely but she was the center of attention amoungst our friends. I walked away and have a new family and friends. Best choice ever!

[quandow]

56 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

She has a friend working there that calls her when she sees you.

Not all that miraculous really.

No. I had just dropped my luggage off at my room and when I got to Big C, she was outside looking to sign up girls to go to another country for work. I KNOW how efficient the jungle telegraph is, this was just pure luck.

[Jimbo1964]

Make sure they knives and other sharp objects are locked up. And dont sleep in the same house that or any other night.

[Aussieroaming]

There is no nice way to break up, so get it over with. Any decent friends you have will understand and any that dont support you shouldnt be referred to as friends anyway.

[malt25]

1 minute ago, Aussieroaming said:

There is no nice way to break up, so get it over with. Any decent friends you have will understand and any that dont support you shouldnt be referred to as friends anyway.

That just about sums it up !

[OneMoreFarang]

1 hour ago, quandow said:

she was outside looking to sign up girls to go to another country for work

Seems she has a very special "job" - hopefully she doesn't bring those girls to jobs which they didn't sign up for.

[Caine]

Grow some balls, walk away and change phone number 

[KKBrian]

It is possible I am divorced from my Thai wife and we have remained friends.

I also have custody of my daughter.

I have been able to end a number of relationships on good terms.

|The first point is to be honest considerate and most defiantly do not let them lose face.

All that aside if you are perceived to be a walking cash machine losing your bank card always hurts and there will be repercussions.

just so you know I  split with a Thai girlfriend 18 months ago and we remained friends and have just got back together so it is possible.

take some time out before people start seeing you with the new girlfriend ok thats always a recipe for disaster .

[Lucky mike]

On 10/25/2018 at 11:08 AM, tingtongtourist said:

always good to go to Lao for a few days and break the news by phone.

that should work ok

if she dont have a passport.

She not need passport to go....

[Geck0]

losing a farang boyfriend = losing face = DRAMA

[OneMoreFarang]

55 minutes ago, KKBrian said:

I have been able to end a number of relationships on good terms.

|The first point is to be honest considerate and most defiantly do not let them lose face.

How exactly do you make sure she is not losing face?

I get the part of not showing off your new girlfriend while she is still around.

But it seem for some (many?) Thai women they think they lose face just by the fact that you don't want to be together with them anymore. It seems lots of Thais have this idea that is a guy wants to end a relationship then she must have done something wrong. Maybe she didn't clean the house or couldn't cook or she was no fun in bed - it must have been something she did or didn't do somehow.

I know this does not make much sense from a "western" point of view. But it seems that is what lots of Thais think.

But pleas correct me if I am wrong or give us an idea how to make sure if is not losing face.

[NCC1701A]

3 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

How exactly do you make sure she is not losing face?

I get the part of not showing off your new girlfriend while she is still around.

But it seem for some (many?) Thai women they think they lose face just by the fact that you don't want to be together with them anymore. It seems lots of Thais have this idea that is a guy wants to end a relationship then she must have done something wrong. Maybe she didn't clean the house or couldn't cook or she was no fun in bed - it must have been something she did or didn't do somehow.

I know this does not make much sense from a "western" point of view. But it seems that is what lots of Thais think.

But pleas correct me if I am wrong or give us an idea how to make sure if is not losing face.

you are correct. It is the Thai woman's responsibly to secure and keep a mate. Not the Thai man.

 

They don't understand "things just did not work out between us". It is her failure in front of friends and family.

 

That is why Thai women will tell you they love you within hours of meeting you and are constantly doing thing for you. that is her way of expressing affection. The male, Thai or Farang, is to provide money.    

[Lacessit]

Disappearing is the best option.

Thai women are usually insanely jealous. They have a good life with a falang, who in most cases is providing support. Then they come crashing back to earth when he says he wants to end it. They've lost their lifestyle, and lost face in front of their friends and family. I can't think how that situation is going to end well.

[OneMoreFarang]

10 minutes ago, Lacessit said:

I can't think how that situation is going to end well.

I know a couple of guys who survived it.

But then, some others I never saw again...

[oldrunner]

I remember the old days, (and I'm really old), when you left money for evening of service (or afternoon) on the bed or dresser. Both parties knew the proper amount and no hard feelings ensued.

[ajarnmarc]

On 10/25/2018 at 11:08 AM, tingtongtourist said:

always good to go to Lao for a few days and break the news by phone.

that should work ok

if she dont have a passport.

Break up by phone is the worst way to go about it...you are just setting yourself up for slander later, and complete destruction of everything you own or value where you stay. 

Times like this; though I can relate, are easier said than actually done,

we must face up to the challenge, and be pleased if we actually have a way out...?

I for one am still working to figure out my way out,

but I'm certain I won't do it over the phone or from a distance.