A Description of Bangkok

[Nyezhov]

Got an email for a friend asking me about Bangkok and whether to come, here is what I wrote.

 

The Big Mango is a gorgeous assault on the senses. A contradiction. Shrines outside of Strip Clubs. Old ladies selling 10baht Sausages in front of fancy Restaurants. Bright lights and Dark Streets. Hair Spray Matrons with glittering jewels eating bowls of Rice while walking through a Mall. Mercedes next to Tuk Tuks and bicycles with carts filled with fried insects, Pagodas and Churches, Russian girls with dreadlocks selling pencil sketches to survive next to fruit vendors. Burkha Babes and short shorts, coolie hats and ball caps, smiles smiles smiles, construction workers with soft shoes and Hello Kitty stickers on their helmets, turbans, hijabs and Jimmy Choos, schoolgirl uniforms, boonie hats, face masks, teenage boys with short pants and ties reading physics on the train, sweating foreigners, traffic backed up for miles, flags fluttering everywhere, smog and sunshine, rats floating through floods outside Malls, canal boats speeding though canals choked with plastic and hyacinth, Million dollar condos next to tin roofed shacks, garbage bags overflowing under flowering trees, food wrapped in bannana leaves in baskets, piles of coconuts, strings of sausage, 10 cent Cokes, birds and pigeons and stray dogs and sleepy cats with half a tail and hungry turtles, lizards and centipedes, snakes in toilets, Rolls Royes sole in malls, smiles smiles smiles,baht buses and Tuk Tuks with bad mufflers, buy buy buy sell sell sell, Saris, suits and Thai costumes, orange robed monks walking barefoot, cell phones and cameras, food delivery on motocyles, tattoed trendsetters cursing the government and bowing to the pictures of the King, guys playing checkers with bottle caps, unmbrellas in the rain, umbrellas in the sun, blue tarps green tarps fiberglass roofs, uniforms peaked hats nurses caps from the 50s helmets and white gloves, orange vests with numbers, old men snoozing in shops, lottery tickets on the corners, cops with revolvers playing pokemon at checkpoints, statues of gods and demons and Buddhas and Kings and trees wrapped with ribbons, smiles smiles smiles,30 seconds to get on the train built in 1950 or boat and thats it, folks walking down the street eating fruit meatballs pork chicken and squid on sticks, flags flags flags, smoothies coconut water and weird colored drinks being slurped up out of plastic bags with straws, motorcycles coming from every direction with girls riding sidesaddle doing their makeup, bottles and cans tossed next to empty garbage bins, lost girl tourists from California thanking you for speaking English, folks feeding catfish, tour groups, buckets and bins of eels and frogs and fish and shrimp on ice for dinner, Chinese pushing and shoving, $100 steaks and 30 cent rice, take out food in plastic bags wrapped with rubber bands so tight you can't open them, smiles smiles smiles,street grilling and frying and pounding spices in mortars, Temples temples temples temples and more temples and shrines covered in flowers shadowed by skyscrapers glinting in the sun, big bikes snarling, roosters crowing, Monks chanting, vendors on the street selling Tshirts, Buddhas, coolie hats, straw brooms, headphones, elephant pants, umbrellas, memory cards shrimp, rice, Viagara, amulets, makeup and toenail clippers, bakeries, Brothels, hotels, gogos, malls, massage, food food food food, fighting your way through crowded markets, croissants garlic bread, buns and sausages wrapped in pastry, smile smile smile,gold shops next to banks, egrets dogs and cats staring at you, faces painted ghost white, broken pavement, wires hanging from trees, palm trees, people wearing one colour depending on the day of the week, the National Anthem blaring from loudspeakers, boxers in gyms pounding bags, ladyboys prancing, cheap beer at 7-11 to prime up for $15 cocktails, blaring Thai music, smiles smiles smiles, ATMS and cakes and dessert shops and ice cream everywhere, pidgen English, drunk Russians, pushy Indians, spitting Chinese,  tatoos, fake Rolexes, manicured gardens, jackhammers hammering, cranes and trucks and welders and backhoes, giant concrete pillars stained by pollution, inhalers up noses, flip flops on broken concrete, squatting in doorways, tiny streets that circle around themselves packed with traffic, whistles blaring, horns blowing, selfie selfie selfie,the constant cries of the Vendors and Taxis and Shop Workers, Hello hello Kaaaah where you go, please try aroi aroi kaaaaaaaaaaah, buy buy buy, smile smile smile, girls yelling kaaaaaaaaaah kaaaaah kaaaaaaah over and over, babies in costumes, the smell of sewage and garbage and grilled meat and fish and incense and piss and sh*t....  its alive. In no other city in the World have I felt such life. If you want an unforgettable experience once in your life, its worth a trip.

 

Figured I took the time to write it to him, Id share it with you.

[Andrew Dwyer]

Nice piece, think you summed it up !

 

Could add :

One hand on your wallet, another on your phone but keeping your loose change for the blind singer in the market . Provocative schoolgirls in tight tops and short skirts buying sweet milky drinks ( forgot the tea ? ) from weatherbeaten old faces for 20 baht. Enjoying the beautiful countryside for free or paying big money to enter an unkempt rundown park !

Going with the flow and accepting the laid back exciting country or complaining about “ how it’s not like back home “ !!

 

 

Thailand is the ultimate contradiction, you can love it and hate it in the same day .

[Kwasaki]

50 minutes ago, Andrew Dwyer said:

Thailand is the ultimate contradiction, you can love it and hate it in the same day .

Agree OP paints a good pix.

Asking only about what Bangkok is like is not really all Thailand is.

 

Reminds me of a friend emailing me saying he had a holiday and seen Thailand, I said 'where did you go' he said we stayed in Pattaya. ????    

[PatOngo]

Very descriptive although I could have summed BKK up in one word!

[Nyezhov]

39 minutes ago, Kwasaki said:

Agree OP paints a good pix.

Asking only about what Bangkok is like is not really all Thailand is.

 

Reminds me of a friend emailing me saying he had a holiday and seen Thailand, I said 'where did you go' he said we stayed in Pattaya. ????    

Exactly. He just wants to come to Bangkok. 

[Denim]

56 minutes ago, PatOngo said:

Very descriptive although I could have summed BKK up in one word!

Is that one word ? I always thought it was 2 ? Maybe we are thinking of a different word.

[OneMoreFarang]

I read your long text. Wow. Yes, that's a good description - for the impressions on the first day, and then it continues like that everyday.

But the funny thing is if you ask people who live here since years: Just a normal quiet day today...

[zzaa09]

Rather new, for Asian standards.

[Nyezhov]

2 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

I read your long text. Wow. Yes, that's a good description - for the impressions on the first day, and then it continues like that everyday.

But the funny thing is if you ask people who live here since years: Just a normal quiet day today...

Thats how I see it. All of that is now "normal". God knows what I will do in USA suburbia. Maybe buy some roaches and let them loose in the house, and ask the kid down the street to rev up his Harley. Ill download some Thai rap for him to play and buy take out chinese food which I will leave out till its lukewarmmm..........

[OneMoreFarang]

10 hours ago, Nyezhov said:

Thats how I see it. All of that is now "normal". God knows what I will do in USA suburbia. Maybe buy some roaches and let them loose in the house, and ask the kid down the street to rev up his Harley. Ill download some Thai rap for him to play and buy take out chinese food which I will leave out till its lukewarmmm..........

There is an easy solution: Never every go to USA suburbia, never!

[Nyezhov]

2 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

There is an easy solution: Never every go to USA suburbia, never!

Yeah but all my kin live there. Manicured lawns. Garbage once a week, recycling every other week. Mailboxes all the same colour. Hummel and Ladro Figurines. Dogs on leashes.

 

My Mom is in a 55 and older, you do not see a car on the road after 10pm. I rolled into her development one night at 10:30 in a pickup truck and the cops came. I used to stand in her driveway and fire up a fattie just to watch the neighbors freak out until I figured it was  raising MOMs BP.

 

 

[OneMoreFarang]

4 hours ago, Nyezhov said:

Yeah but all my kin live there. Manicured lawns. Garbage once a week, recycling every other week. Mailboxes all the same colour. Hummel and Ladro Figurines. Dogs on leashes.

 

My Mom is in a 55 and older, you do not see a car on the road after 10pm. I rolled into her development one night at 10:30 in a pickup truck and the cops came. I used to stand in her driveway and fire up a fattie just to watch the neighbors freak out until I figured it was  raising MOMs BP.

Sounds exiting!

[bermondburi]

Where you buy coke for 3 Baht?

[Nyezhov]

19 minutes ago, bermondburi said:

Where you buy coke for 3 Baht?

little shops, 2-5 baht, thonburi, pak kret, paces like that. why? just them little mom n pop places with a cooler and little cans

[bermondburi]

5 hours ago, Nyezhov said:

little shops, 2-5 baht, thonburi, pak kret, paces like that. why? just them little mom n pop places with a cooler and little cans

What size can? Is it real coke? Or just in a bag with ice?

[Nyezhov]

5 hours ago, bermondburi said:

What size can? Is it real coke? Or just in a bag with ice?

Small yes and no sometimes????????????

 

Are ya looking for bargains? There is a flea market near my crib....

[bartender100]

OK I will say it, if you put some paragraphs in it might be more readable, sorry, not gramma police, its just hard to read on a PC screen

[Cryingdick]

Remind me never to casually ask you "What is Paris like in the spring?"

[BobbyL]

Sweaty. Smelly. Sexy. 

[Nyezhov]

12 minutes ago, Cryingdick said:

Remind me never to casually ask you "What is Paris like in the spring?"

I despise Paris.

[Nyezhov]

2 minutes ago, BobbyL said:

Sweaty. Smelly. Sexy. 

I made that kind of impression on you? You're a dude though? Damn.

[OneMoreFarang]

2 hours ago, Cryingdick said:

Remind me never to casually ask you "What is Paris like in the spring?"

You could google: 1 night in Paris

But maybe you will find not what you expect...

[Nyezhov]

17 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

You could google: 1 night in Paris

But maybe you will find not what you expect...

Years ago I rolled into Paris from London with a slinky bilingual chick from Northern Quebec that spoke Quebecois, which as we all know is bastardized 17th century Parisian French.

 

Approach the desk of a nice hotel to inquire about a room (the days before Internet) and as said, Hey dude, anything available in my best American accent. No parley voos Anglikee, he says, looking nose down at me. She pops up and asks in Quebecois. He stares at her like she is a bug from outer space, turns to me and says, in English..How may I help you?

 

That was my intro to Gay Paree. Pretty town but full of French.