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Posted
7 hours ago, Zyxel said:

Jesus was walking around Heaven one day. In a small, secluded garden He saw an old man, crying. Alarmed, Jesus ran up to him and said, “Hey, now, what’s all this? This is paradise. There should be no tears or sorrow.”

The old man wiped away his tears and said, “Oh, I know. I’m sorry. But… well, many years ago, a son came to me through… well, let’s say ‘mysterious circumstances’. After many trials he went through a miraculous transformation, and a book was written about him that became known the world over. I thought I would find him here, but I haven’t. I’m afraid I’ll never see him again.”

Wide-eyed, Jesus looked at the man and said, “Wait a minute… You weren’t, by any chance… a carpenter, were you?”

The man looked up in surprise. “Why, yes. Yes, I was!”

Jesus burst into tears of joy and held out His arms saying, “Father!”

The man cocked his head doubtfully and said, “Pinocchio???”

A chip off the nosey old block!

  • Haha 1
Posted
7 hours ago, Zyxel said:

Paddy was telling Mick about taking his first parachute jump, When I got to the door I couldn't jump. The 6'7" man mountain instructor unzipped his fly and drops out 14" and said If you don't jump you're gonna get this baby right up your arse.

Mick says, Did you jump Paddy says, A bit when it first went in.

And with a bum's rush he jumped!

Posted
7 hours ago, Yellowtail said:

Washer.jpg.abdcc65b4cf569d3b0701f0c49f92e2c.jpg

Was it a case of;

Can I screw you and then she bolted 

or

I'd be nuts to be screwed by you?

 

Any more nuts and bolts suggestions or am I screwed?

  • Like 1
Posted
2 hours ago, scottiejohn said:

Screw him!

He must be a real cross dresser threader!

 

They had a real twisted relationship anyway.

Posted
2 hours ago, scottiejohn said:

I bet that was a pane in the @rse! to see by

 

And he wasn't expecting what happened when he asked if it could be opened a crack to let the breeze waft in either.

Posted
1 hour ago, ballpoint said:

 

And he wasn't expecting what happened when he asked if it could be opened a crack to let the breeze waft in either.

That may be so but;!

"How the wind blows it's scents to waft our evil smells away!"

 

PS; Who wrote those beautifully scented words?

  • Like 1

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