Worst Joke Ever 2024

[chickenslegs]

1 hour ago, Hamus Yaigh said:

A Farmer went out in the snow one morning, to tend to his cows and found them all frozen.

A woman was passing by,she breathed on them and each one defrosted.

The farmer said to her, “Are you an Angel sent from heaven?”

“No”, said the woman, “I’m Thora Hird!”

I'm old enough to get that joke.

[sanuk711]

[sanuk711]

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[sanuk711]

[sanuk711]

[ballpoint]

1 hour ago, chickenslegs said:

I'm old enough to get that joke.

Thora Hird always did drive me up the wall.

[Hamus Yaigh]

[roo860]

[fangless]

2 hours ago, ballpoint said:

Thora Hird always did drive me up the wall.

Trust you to lift it to a higher level.

????

[ravip]

A man hears a knock at the door late at night...
A man hears a knock at the door late at night. He goes downstairs and answers it. There’s a man stood there, and he said “Hi mate, is there any chance you can give me a push?” The homeowner said angrily, “Do you know what time it is? It’s nearly 3:00, I’ve got to be up for work in 2 hours, now <deleted> off!” and slams the door. He went back up to bed. His wife asked who was at the door, he said “Some idiot wanting a push! I told him to do one.” His wife said “why?! Remember that time we broke down and that couple stopped and helped us? We’d have been stranded if it wasn’t for them. Now go down and help the poor man!” So he got up and went to the front door. It was dark and he couldn’t see anything. He shouted “Hey mate, are you still there?” “Yes I am.” The guy replied.

“Where are you?” He asked.....

“I’m over here on the swing.”

[sanuk711]

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[jvs]

Not a joke but almost funny.

Open carry is allowed,even with a full magazine but carry an open can of beer and go to jail!

[roo860]

[roo860]

[ballpoint]

Another one that you must be over a certain age to get...

 

[ballpoint]

 

lol

[ballpoint]

[ballpoint]

[ballpoint]

An old guy is sitting on a park bench crying his eyes out. A young lady walks up to him and asks him what's wrong, and he replies,

"I'm a retired millionaire, I have numerous exotic vehicles, several boats and even a yacht. I also have a mansion with young beautiful 24 year old wife. My life is what most others only dream of having". "Then why are you crying, your life sounds amazing?" The young lady asks.

"I can't remember where I live".

[Peter Denis]

7 minutes ago, ballpoint said:

 

Gives a new meaning to the expression of 'plowing on the beach'...

[sanuk711]

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[sanuk711]

Meanwhile, just after the Trojan war, Odysseus addresses the ship’s crew “We now set off on the odyssey”----Sailor “What’s an odyssey ?”.....Odysseus “it’s a long meandering journey, full of travails and perils, named after the only survivor” ....Sailors ....What The...<deleted>!!

[tifino]

and...