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Worst Joke Ever 2026

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Warning. If you buy a watch that says you can swim with it on, it really means you can wear it if you can already swim.

Now I know.

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I just bought my son a plastic doll with a cord on its back, and when you pull it, it says "30, 30, 35, 35, 35, 40......".

"No dad" he cried when he saw the box, I said Action man, not Auction Man".

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My wife gave me an envelope marked ’Not to be opened until 2024’
Inside was a list of reasons why I can’t be trusted to carry out simple instructions.

I just got my bank statement and noticed that I've had payments go out for a water pistol, a pair of size 20 shoes, a trumpet and a red nose..
Needless to say, I phoned the bank.  Apparently my card's been clowned

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The Fire Department in a small town got a call. The lady said, “My house is on fire! Can you help?” The Chief said, “Of course! We’re ready to go. How do we get there?” The lady said, “Don't you still have that little red truck?”
 
 
 
 
 

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