A funny Canadian ?
What’s that all aboot !

16 hours ago, fasteddie said:

… if not to everyone's taste.

2 hours ago, ballpoint said:

… if not to everyone's taste.

Was it number 69 in the ladybird series or were they just b*ggering about?

So now I just have to play (with) myself!

NURSERY RHYMES UPDATED FOR THE 21. CENTURY
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
The structure of the wall was incorrect

So he won ten grand with Claims Direct.

It's raining, its pouring
Of course its global warming.

Jack and Jill went into town
To fetch some chips and sweeties

Now he can't keep his heart rate down

And she's got diabetes.

Georgie Porgie pudding and pie

Kissed the girls and made them cry

When the boys came out to play

He kissed them too

coz he was gay.

Mary had a little lamb
It ran into a pylon
10,000 volts went up it's *rse

And turned it's wool to nylon.

 
 

Just now, scottiejohn said:

Was it number 69 in the ladybird series or were they just b*ggering about?

B*ggering about was actually number 2 in the Ladyboy series.

I went to the swimming and after a while I needed to relieve myself so I decided to have a sneaky p*ss in the deep end.
The Lifeguard must have noticed...as he blew his whistle so bleeding loud I nearly fell in!

I went to the chip shop and asked for a jumbo sausage.
The bloke said, "It won't be long"

 

I said,"It better be!"

7 minutes ago, ballpoint said:

B*ggering about was actually number 2 in the Ladyboy series.

I didn't see that coming, as I bite my lip!

Sorry I just made an *rse of that but come on with some more entry level inputs!

Do you ever wake up, kiss the person sleeping next to you and feel glad that you are alive? 
Well I just did.

Apparently I'm not allowed on this airline again!!

Paddy and Mary decide to try a 69.
Paddy's never done one before so Mary says she'll show him.

She tells him to lie on the floor and squats over him.

As she lowers herself onto his face she inadvertently passes wind.  Apologizing she has a second attempt but lets rip again.

Paddy jumps up and storms out yelling

"Ill be stuffed if I'm hanging around for 67 more of them!"
 

 

Honest I am not getting at any specific poster on this forum!!

The teacher asked the class to use the word "fascinate" in a sentence.
Molly put up her hand and said, "My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating."
The teacher said, "That was good, but I wanted you to use the word 'fascinate,' not 'fascinating'."
Sally raised her hand. She said, "My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated."
The teacher said, "Well, that was good Sally, but as I said to Molly I wanted you to use the word fascinate'."
Little Johnny raised his hand, but the teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before.

She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word "fascinate," so she called on him.
Johnny said, "My aunt Carolyn has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight!"

 

Honest I am not getting at any specific poster on this forum!!

Y’all jokin’ me ??

 

20 hours ago, scottiejohn said:

Do you ever wake up, kiss the person sleeping next to you and feel glad that you are alive? 
Well I just did.

Apparently I'm not allowed on this airline again!!

Thank god for that!  And you're a lousy kisser.

3 hours ago, ballpoint said:

Thank god for that!  And you're a lousy kisser.

Big mouth!

????