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Worst Joke Ever 2026

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Actual care instructions for a pair of South African boots:

 

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My book, "How to say no emphatically in German," Is now available.

Only £9.99.

I've just attended my first live autopsy.
I don't consider myself squeamish, but I was relieved when the heart was removed and the screaming stopped.

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The family wheeled Grandma out on the lawn, in her wheelchair, where the activities for her 100th birthday were taking place. Grandma couldn't speak very well, but she could write notes when she needed to communicate. After a short time out on the lawn, Grandma started leaning off to the right, so some family members grabbed her, straightened her up, and stuffed pillows on her right.

A short time later, she started leaning off to her left, so again the family grabbed her and stuffed pillows on her left. Soon she started leaning forward, so the family members again grabbed her, then tied a pillowcase around her waist to hold her up.

A nephew who arrived late came running up to Grandma and said, "Hi Grandma, you're looking good! How are they treating you?"

Grandma took out her little notepad and slowly wrote a note to the nephew, "They won't let me fart."

1 hour ago, Crossy said:

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Don't know what the answer is, but I want one.

 

Got it. Prince song but not quite in tune. 

7 hours ago, ballpoint said:

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Brilliant!

You really must have boned up on that one, in more ways than one!!

2 hours ago, Crossy said:

 

A Purple Range?

 

 

Your hearing is as bad as Weird Al Yankovic...

 

Pin op A Bit of This, A Bit of That

 

 

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